Chapter 37 #6
“I know that doesn’t even bother you, Cass, because the part of you that would have been bothered by it is gone too,” Drake said with a sigh that seemed like pity and it made me feel like the nothing I knew I was.
“Poof. Vanished,” Kyra whispered mysteriously, emphasising his point and the way they looked at me made my chest shrink and compress.
Maybe they were right, maybe I was just a shell with the memories of a man rattling around inside him.
Maybe everyone could see it in my eyes, that I simply could never be whole if I tried.
The potential of who I could have been had been sacrificed to the crown.
I had given it all up to protect my family from losing everything, and I had done so willingly.
But now that meant I neither fit in with the nobles nor the commoners.
I was made into something…other. Something no one could relate to anymore.
I gave in to Drake’s demands of me, nodding my head like I had when Captain Marik had barked orders, quietly committing myself to the one thing I had left.
The only purpose that made my life hold any value now.
I would use this opportunity tonight to try and further my attempts at exposing Magdor, and keeping Drake in the pageant was crucial to that.
“You can't treat women like they’re the apple of your eye or whatever other bullshit is circling through your repressed little brain right now. You've got to be aloof,” Drake said.
“I swear to fuck, if you say aloof one more time-” I started but he cut over me.
“Just don’t give her too much attention. If her maids are there, you need to give them at least twice as many compliments as you do the princess.”
I clenched my jaw. “That is not at all appropriate.”
“Women don't like appropriate, Cass. Have you ever even fucked a girl? Because I imagine you had to ask her to remove the stick from your arse first.”
I glowered at him, my hands curling into fists. “That's none of your business and I do not have a stick up my arse.”
“You do, it was surgically inserted by the kingdom,” Drake chuckled.
I folded my arms, done with this conversation.
“It sounds painful,” Kyra breathed. “Would you like me to magic it out for you?”
My jaw ticked and I refused to respond to her suggestion as Drake laughed harder.
“Go on, admit it. You’re a virgin, aren’t you mate? Fuck, actually, did that captain of yours have your balls removed? Are all the guards eunuchs?” Drake taunted.
Despite my efforts to remain impassive, my anger won out and I fisted his tunic, yanking him nose to nose with me as I bared my teeth.
“I am not a damn virgin or a eunuch. And you may see the void in me, thief, but you would do well to remember why it is there. I am capable of unthinkable brutality, there is no torture method in this world that turns my stomach. I could pull out every one of your bones and keep you awake while I did it, and now that I have no collar or leash, I am free to aim that brutality at whomever I wish.”
Drake shoved me off of him, looking keen for a fight. “You don’t look free. You look as caged as all the guards in this place. You’re still one of them, just a beast with its claws pulled out. One word from your old captain and you’d fall right back in line.”
I lunged at him but Kyra dove between us, placing her hands out towards us and scrunching her eyes shut as we both came close to touching her. I stopped myself short of colliding with her, my respect for her greater than my desire to throttle the man on the other side of her.
“Well, you are just a thief pretending to be a god. The world will catch up on you, Drake. You think I am empty inside, then how about you? All you have is selfish desires and nothing of substance in this life to sate you,” I spat.
“I will soon have all the treasure and all the power in the world, what could be more substantial than that?” Drake said, stretching his arms wide and laughing, either not caring about the truth of my words or seriously believing that all he needed were material assets to be content.
“Stop it,” Kyra begged. “If you need new balls, Cassius, I’m sure Drake will wish some up for you.”
“Yeah, I’ll get you some shiny new balls, mate, how about that?” Drake mocked and a growl rolled up my throat.
“Stand aside, Kyra,” I insisted, but she wouldn’t move, shaking her head.
“I can’t let you hurt my master.” She shook her head more fiercely. “He may be ugly, but he’s the best master I’ve ever had.”
Drake flinched at that word. “Just get out of here, Cass,” he commanded. “And forget your morals tonight. I don't have any and the princess has been lapping that up until now. If you ruin this for me, I will beat your arse.”
Irritation flashed through me at the insinuation that Austyn was attracted to the cockiness of this common street thief. “I am not your puppet.”
“No, but you are the kingdom’s puppet,” Drake said dismissively. “So go be a good boy and do what you need to do to save it.”
“Tick-tock,” Kyra said, waggling her index finger like a metronome. “Better get going.”
I headed to the door as I swallowed back a stream of retorts, my heart pounding as I stepped into the corridor with Drake's voice calling after me, “Don't fuck this up, you neutered cunt!”
I shut the door as rage spilled into my chest, spotting a servant across the hall, his eyebrows nearly jumping into his hairline at what he'd heard. “Apologies, my guard is berating my maid.”
He nodded, bowing his head low and I hurried away from him, cursing Drake under my breath. He was going to get us removed from the palace before I could achieve anything with Magdor if I couldn’t contain his outbursts.
I headed down a spiralling staircase and followed the sound of a string quartet towards the ballroom, mentally preparing myself for what was to come.
Although, I wasn’t sure there was any preparation I could have done to ready myself for seeing the princess up close, in a setting where I would be encouraged to speak with her.
My heart thumped with irrational desire over that, but I was a man wearing the face of a cad tonight.
It would not be me she saw, and thank the Fallen for that.
For the man truly keeping her company was nothing more than a disgraced guard who had indulged in one too many forbidden thoughts about her.
And though I was quietly convincing myself that this was for the greater good, that this act was only in servitude to her in a roundabout way, I knew deep down that I was anticipating it for reasons that were entirely selfish.
The guards on duty bowed low to me and I arched my brows at being on the receiving end of the respect I'd dished out through all my years in their position. Little did they know, I wasn’t in any way deserving of that respect.
I was a criminal, and one wrong move could land me right back where I’d been when I had first met Drake, breathing out my final breaths before a grim execution.
I stepped into the grand dining hall where a white oak table stretched through the centre of the space, set with a golden runner along the heart of it. Arching windows lined one side of the room and a set of doors led out to a sweeping balcony washed in moonlight.
This place was more familiar to me than my own home.
I had been stationed here countless times throughout countless royal meals, and I knew every thread in the enormous tapestry hanging on the far wall by heart.
Sat on the ruby throne of Osaria was a white tiger with glinting silver claws and a proud sort of look on its face.
Another was curled up at its feet, but its head was raised, and a fierce protectiveness seemed to fill its gaze.
Trees arched over them, laden with oranges, apples, pears and a golden crown gleamed within the sun in the sky, held in the grip of a pale hand that was representative of the Fallen Fae, reaching down to place it upon the head of the beast. White tigers appeared in a lot of the art in the palace as they were featured within the Lunarelle family crest, their ferocity, beauty, and power all symbols of what the royals stood for.
I was the last to arrive despite the fact I was right on time, but the rest of the suitors who had won their rounds today were clearly eager to get as much out of their time with the princess as possible.
My eyes found Austyn instinctively, drawn to her as they had been even before I’d seen her face.
It was her spirit which called to me, and the beauty of that could be rivalled by nothing, not the royal jewels housed within this palace, not all the treasure in the cave Drake and I had discovered, not even her beauty.
She shone from within, and I wished to draw my sword and cut out the hearts of every man at this table so that they may never have a chance to dim that light in her.
Kahn, Captain Hariot, and Prince Gurvine all sat across from Austyn in fine robes, wearing trinkets, sashes and medals in representation of their kingdoms.
Behind the princess, standing either side of one of the high windows, were her two maids, Zira and Jacinda, both of whom were wearing matching yellow dresses, their heads bowed, and hands clasped neatly in front of them.
The princess made my heart stall as she rose abruptly to her feet and turned to me.
It was only then that I truly took in her outfit and the way her silver hair was half pinned up into a delicate bun.
She was dressed in a flowing golden gown that made her amber eyes stand out and her skin seem to shimmer.
My throat thickened as her gaze floated down me approvingly and the victors rose from their chairs, obviously feeling compelled to do so too.
I fought the wave of bitter jealousy that accompanied her drinking me in, because it wasn't me at all. It was Drake she was admiring.
“Good evening,” I said formally, bowing low and Austyn dipped her head in kind.