Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Aurelia
M y nerves stay jittery throughout the luncheon, but the worst threats I encounter are Fausta’s and Bianca’s glowers. They seem to have gotten over their shock and are now attempting to finish the job they started by glaring daggers at me at every opportunity.
They’re only going to be more vicious now—more determined to remove me from the competition. And given Fausta’s gift for illusion, however small, I’ll need to stay twice as on guard.
I can’t trust even my senses around them.
When I leave the table, I find Rochelle waiting near the doorway, her hands clasped awkwardly in front of her as she endures her former equals’ stares.
“I thought I’d see if there’s anything you might need,” she murmurs once I reach her. “If you’d like me to fetch anything from your room or run you a bath… ”
Her presence is one small bright spot in this awful day. I smile gratefully. “A bath would be lovely, but in a few hours. Right now, I think I’ll retire on my own for a nap.” I can’t say my doze in the woods was exactly restful.
Rochelle bobs her head. “Shall I come at the fourth hour of the afternoon?”
“That sounds perfect. You can let Melisse know so she’ll bring fresh towels.” I don’t want my original maid to feel I’ve cast her aside—or for Emperor Tarquin to think I asked for Rochelle’s service to edge his regular staff out.
By the time I’ve navigated the halls to my bedroom, both of my legs are throbbing. Gritting my teeth, I unlock the door, step inside—and freeze just past the threshold.
The door thumps shut behind me. Prince Raul stands up from where he was sitting on the edge of my bed. His gaze rakes over me, as searing as always but not remotely cold this time.
“Why are you in here?” I demand.
He takes a step closer but stops before his height can become imposing. His eyes are completely fixed on mine now. “I couldn’t eat. Not after watching you have to grovel in front of the imperial prick like that. I’d have spent the whole time holding myself back from launching myself across the table and bashing in his arrogant face. Or wringing that treacherous redhead’s skinny neck for what she did to you.”
The fury in his voice dwindles with a tightening of his tawny face. “And I can’t do any of that. You were right. There’s so fucking much I can’t do for you.”
A lump rises in my throat at those last words and the anguish running through them, but my tone stays tart. “And you thought startling me in my bedroom was a good alternative? How the fuck do you even keep getting in here? ”
My profanity provokes a trace of a smile across Raul’s lips. “We need to keep a few secrets.”
In other words, no matter how much anger he showed on my behalf this morning, he doesn’t fully trust me. There’s a part of him that still wants to keep me on my toes.
Which means I can’t trust him either.
I cross my arms over my chest. “You still haven’t answered my first question. What are you doing here? I didn’t expect you to beat up Marclinus or Fausta or anyone else for me, so you don’t need to justify the lack of violence.”
Raul spreads his hands. His voice takes on the husky note I find annoyingly compelling. “I can’t get vengeance on those who deserve it yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything at all. I’d like to remind you of how a princess should be treated, in one of the few places where I can actually follow through. Whatever you want, you only have to ask for it.”
The offer sends a heady pulse through me, but I arch one eyebrow in response. “I don’t suppose you’re angling for me to request any particular sort of ‘treatment.’”
Raul’s smile stretches into a grin, too crooked to be completely cocky. “Have I imagined having you gasping and moaning in that bed? Absolutely. I’d erase every memory of that asshole’s touch. But I won’t find it remotely satisfying if you’re not just as eager for it. I don’t put my hands where they’re not wanted.”
When I hesitate, he steps a little closer. His pale blue gaze holds mine. “You’ve been looking out for so many people other than yourself since you got here, haven’t you? While everyone puts you through the wringer. No matter how strong you are, you must be getting exhausted. I mean it when I say you can ask for anything. What do you need most right now, Princess? ”
Gods, what a question. I stare at him, doing my best to ignore the heat he’s stirred beneath my skin.
I’m not tumbling into bed with this princely rake. I would like to get my weight off my aching legs.
My gaze slides across the room and lands on my vanity. The idea flutters up with a pang of longing that seems almost absurd.
It might be nice, just for once, to be taken care of in much simpler ways by someone who isn’t obligated.
I walk over to the padded stool and seat myself in front of the vanity. My silver-handled brush is already lying out. I motion to it. “My hair has barely been brushed since yesterday, and my ribs still hurt when I lift my arms. You could see to that for me.”
A snort escapes the prince. “Are you attempting to put together an entire collection of maids now?”
I glance at him over my shoulder. “Did you not mean ‘whatever I want’ after all, only what doesn’t threaten your dignity?”
Raul narrows his eyes at me, but his smile stays in place. I don’t think he’s really offended.
Suddenly I can’t help remembering the remark I thought Lorenzo made this morning when I mentioned telling Raul off. That he liked it.
Maybe he actually does enjoy being provoked, because he saunters over and picks up the brush. “I can’t say I have much practice at this, but I’ll give it my best shot.”
“It’s a remarkably simple process,” I have to point out.
He chuckles and brings the brush to my hair. The moment the bristles graze my scalp, I realize I might have made a slight miscalculation.
He’s standing so close the warmth of his body tingles over my skin. The rhythmic stroke of the brush sets off even giddier quivers down my neck.
The act never felt quite so intimate when it was a maid handling it.
A flush starts to rise up my neck. I grope for a topic to distract us, and my eyes catch on the scarring across his no-longer bandaged knuckles in the mirror.
“Did the salve help at all? If you deigned to try it?”
Raul’s fingers trail across the back of my neck as he eases some of my hair back over my shoulder for ease of access. “It does seem to move the healing process along faster. Too bad you can’t use it on your bones.”
I grimace at the reminder of my injuries, and the image floats up of a recent time when he took several wounds of his own. “Why do you fight in the exhibitions? Doesn’t that just serve Emperor Tarquin’s purposes?”
He shrugs with another stroke of the brush. “It serves my purposes just as much. I’m not sure I’d have been able to survive as long as I have without hurling myself at him and his heir if I didn’t have other avenues to vent a little aggression.”
“You couldn’t find avenues that didn’t require facing off against murderous warriors and savage beasts?”
The corner of his mouth kicks upward again. “I like a challenge. As I’d think should be obvious by now, Princess.”
I suppose I walked into that one.
He moves to stand by my other shoulder, his fingertips gliding over my cheek as he gathers the hair there. More heat blooms in their wake.
“You’ve got a twig snagged in here. Maybe you do need more maids.”
I glower at him in the mirror. “There wasn’t really time for a thorough job this morning. I’d appreciate you removing it now.”
Somehow he manages to detangle the scrap of wood without any painful tugs. As he resumes his brushing, he studies me in the mirror. “You asked about my battles, but you’re at least as much of a fighter as I am, even if you hide it. How did one of Elox’s lambs end up tough enough to withstand a near-poisoning and a brutal beating in the course of a few days?”
How am I supposed to answer that? I tuck my hands together on my lap, my thumb running over my ring. “Elox doesn’t reward weakness . There’s a different sort of strength in being able to endure, to hold steady through chaos.”
“Somehow I doubt most of even his clerics could have handled this situation with as much grace as you have. You’d put them to shame.”
My mouth twists with a bittersweet smile. “I’m also the second princess of a conquered country. I’ve known from the start that my purpose will mean submitting to someone else’s needs. And I had many years to prepare for that future, even if I didn’t know exactly who or what it would entail until recently.”
Unlike four seven-year-old boys who were thrown into this life before they’d had much chance to understand anything at all.
Raul’s hand stills for a moment. “It shouldn’t have to be like that. It’s your life as much as your kingdom’s.”
“No, it’s not.”
I thought that once. For a short, glimmering stretch of time, I imagined a different kind of future.
I imagined, and the gods reminded me just how futile it was. Just how tragic those hopes could be .
It’s better that I learned the costs of selfishness before I strayed down that path too far to recover.
Raul makes a rough sound. “You deserve better. In every way. You’re so much more than a pawn.”
“Sometimes a pawn is needed to make the winning move,” I say softly. “It’s not a role without any rewards.”
He scowls and runs the brush through my hair once more. Despite his obvious frustration, the stroke is no less gentle than those before.
Even though he scoffed at my request, he’s handled me so tenderly my entire body has lit up. He hasn’t made a move beyond what I asked for.
This time, I can’t tamp down on the swell of desire. As he sets the brush back on the table and straightens again, I look up at him.
His cool eyes meet mine, gleaming with a matching hunger. “What now, Princess?”
Would it be so horrible for me to claim one small reward right now?
I lift my hand toward him. “Lean closer.”
He bends down, ducking farther at my beckoning gesture. When his chin is level with my temple, I ignore the twinge in my ribs and reach up to tease my fingers into his own hair.
The cocoa-brown strands are unexpectedly silky to my touch, pulling loose from his ponytail at my careful tug. As I unfurl my fingers against his scalp, Raul exhales over me in a heated rush.
His head dips even lower. His voice comes out strained. “Aurelia…”
Heat courses straight to the meeting of my thighs. All I can manage is a whisper .
“Do it.”
He closes the last few inches between us to press his mouth against the side of my neck. Lightly at first and then, at my shaky sigh, parting his lips to swipe his hot tongue over the sensitive skin.
As I close my hand around the errant strands of his hair, he charts a scorching path from the corner of my jaw to the crook of my shoulder. Every flick of his tongue and scrape of his teeth floods me with more need.
He must be able to tell. I press my legs closer together beneath my dress to try to relieve the pressure, and the prince chuckles against my skin.
He eases the neckline of my dress over on my shoulder, branding the uncovered skin with kisses in its wake. The shifting of the fabric pebbles my nipples and sends even more arousal pooling between my thighs.
Raul’s fingers skim across my other shoulder and down my side, and I’m abruptly aware that this encounter could spiral beyond my ability to corral it within a matter of seconds.
I grasp his hand as it reaches my hip, easing it away from me and scooting beyond his eager mouth in the same motion. “That’s enough.”
Raul grins down at me with a feral intensity that almost makes me regret my self-control. “No, it’s not, Aurelia. It won’t be enough until you’re begging the only way you ever should—for me to bring all the pleasures you’ve imagined to reality. When you’re ready for that, I swear you’ll never feel as worshipped before or after. But I can wait.”
I keep my tone mild. “You make a lot of promises.”
“Only ones I know I can keep.”
I hold myself still and calm until he’s slipped out the door. Then I set my elbows on the vanity and bow my head into my hands.
The heat Raul kindled in me burns on.
All three of these men are getting too far under my skin. I have to remember why I wanted them on my side—or the future I’m vying for might go up in flames.