Chapter 29 #2
She was unable to dwell on the discovery, however, for he caught her tightly in his arms. His lips touched hers with such incredible tenderness.
It was the same as that day at the burn.
Thought deserted her, and sensation took over.
She had the feeling of floating, feather-light, supported only by his arms. Her body was soaring through the sky, soaring… .
How long they stood there by the fire, Sheena didn’t know. She was dimly aware of a change in Jamie’s kissing, an increase in urgency. But it was only when the warm breath of the fire touched her bare skin that she became completely aware. Her gown and petticoats lay in a pile at her feet.
She was bared to the eyes of a man—and not just any man.
Bright color flooded her face and neck. She tried to cover herself, but Jamie pushed her hands away while his own circled her waist to pull her close.
And then he was kissing her again, and she didn’t know whether to give in to the warmth that was rushing through her or fight to escape.
She was still undecided when he picked her up and carried her to his bed, laying her down gently. He began to remove his own clothing. She was free for the moment and had a chance to run, but Jamie sensed her thoughts, and while he caressed her with his eyes, he soothed her with words.
“You dinna have anything to fear, Sheena. I’ll never hurt you.
’Tis cherishing you I am. You’re more precious to me than anything I ever dreamed of.
Can you no’ sense that, sweetheart? Can you no’ see I want only to make you happy?
And I swear you will be happy. I swear you’ll no’ regret being my wife. ”
He knelt on the bed and bent over her, cupping her face in his large hands. “’Tis too long I’ve waited for you, too long I’ve been wanting you. Just trust me a little, Sheena, ’tis all I ask.”
Why shouldn’t she? He was going to have her. Why not make the best of it?
But the decision was not really Sheena’s.
Her body was in control, more than willing.
His lips had been warm, and soon they became hot.
Her fingers tangled in his thick hair, pulling his head back a little, for she was afraid of the intense heat.
But Jamie’s tongue was dancing circles around one taut nipple and then the other, and Sheena pressed him closer, the feeling exquisite.
When his mouth returned to hers, Sheena returned his kiss so wholeheartedly that Jamie leaned back to look at her.
His eyes were bright, and he smiled at her with such warmth.
She smiled back, fully and freely. It was the first time she had smiled at him since learning that he was The MacKinnion.
Was all forgiven? It was more than Jamie had hoped for.
Her blood was fired. There was a need she didn’t understand, a desire to have his body closer, closer.
Sheena jerked and cried out as his fingers suddenly slid between her legs.
But he didn’t stop, and once the shock had passed, she didn’t want him to.
His fingers explored, causing delightful spasms. She could have suffered that blissful torture forever. Jamie prolonged it just long enough.
She would never be more ready for him than she was then, and he knew it.
His change in position was swift and, before she knew what he was doing, he plunged into her.
Sheena caught her breath. Then she sighed.
She had expected pain, much worse pain, not that tiny tearing that was soon forgotten.
How kind of him to have done it quickly, making it much easier.
She felt only a fullness now, deep inside her.
He didn’t move, and she couldn’t guess why he was so still.
Jamie was silently waiting for her accusations to start. How he had hated hurting her! If only she would say something, curse him.
She did speak, with her body. Sheena instinctively understood how she needed Jamie. She moved under him, forcing him out of her, then moved her hips upward to take him back, taking him whole.
Jamie shuddered in relief and delight. His hands gripped the sides of her head, holding her still for a kiss.
While his lips plundered the sweetness of her mouth, his hard member explored the warmth enveloping him.
He had never felt so strong, so masterful, so enthralled.
He drifted into the mist where he had first seen her, floating ever closer to her, intoxicated by her feel, her scent, her warmth.
If Jamie was in awe, Sheena was in shock.
Each thrust of Jamie’s powerful body brought her to a higher plane.
She had felt a rush of blood through her body before, but now there was a flood, all directed to the small area that was on fire.
But the flood didn’t put out the flame. It nourished the fire instead, gathering there, every part of her swirling round and round that fire.
She knew she couldn’t contain it. Too great an intensity was building. It was going to kill her, explode and shatter her to pieces. She couldn’t possibly survive this.
The moment was at hand, and Sheena knew it.
But instead of her life flashing before her eyes, she saw only Jamie’s face in her mind’s eye, that handsome face grinning with a secret knowledge that she understood at last. The floodgates burst, and Sheena screamed, but the scream was smothered by Jamie’s ravenous lips.
There was no end to the waves washing over her, pulsing against every nerve.
She heard him moan, knew he was dying the same sweet death. They plunged downward together.
He was so still, so heavy. She floated high above him, gliding ever so slowly, dreamlike, delighting in her new world, the peace of it, the warmth, the delicious—movement of his lips?
Her eyes opened a little. He was looking at her, too, his hazel eyes a warm gray-green.
He was still holding her head, his thumbs moving softly on her cheeks.
His lips touched hers with a feather-light movement she wasn’t sure she felt.
He kissed her chin, her cheeks, her eyes.
He leaned back to look at every bit of her face, and a smile curled his lips, a smile of utter contentment.
If he were a cat, she thought, he’d be purring.
Sheena’s eyes were round with wonder. “I’m seeing you, James MacKinnion! You’re real, then?” she gasped. “I’m no’ dead?”
His smile widened. “I dinna think so, sweetheart.”
“But I thought…” Bright color washed her cheeks. “How foolish of me!” She thought a moment, then rushed on, not quite meeting his gaze.
“’Tis just…I never knew what it would be like, Jamie.
I knew there would be pain at first, I did know that.
But the rest…” She lowered her eyes, willing to admit everything, yet still just a little embarrassed with this new intimacy.
“No one could have prepared me for it,” she continued, awed.
“I was frightened by the intense feelings, since I didna know to what end they would bring me. And when they increased, I knew there would be an explosion. I feared the worst. I thought I would surely die, yet I wouldna have stopped you for the world.”
Hesitantly, she looked up, meeting his eyes again. He was not looking at her with triumph. Pride, aye, but not a conquering pride. The look in his eyes spread a warmth through Sheena that surprised her. Tenderness? Maybe even…love?
“You’re no’ alone in what you felt, Sheena,” he murmured softly. “I canna say I’ve no’ been pleasured ’afore, but never like this. In all the years since I’ve called myself a man, I never felt anything to compare. I knew, somehow, it would be this way with you. I always knew.”
“You could’ve told me,” she chided.
“Would you have believed me?”
“Nay,” she answered simply. “Will it always be so, Jamie?”
“For us it will, I do believe so.”
She giggled, squeezing him. She was happy, surprisingly, amazingly, happy. Who would have thought it possible?
“Nay, Jamie,” she teased with a sigh. “I dinna think it can ever again be like this first time. But we can try to make it so. Often, eh?”
He laughed deeply, kissed her soundly, and laughed again. “By the saints, you’re a jewel, Sheena. And to think I feared you might be like my first wife. What a fool I was! I ought to’ve known better.”
Sheena confessed, “I had crazy thoughts when the fire was in me, and no’ just of myself dying. I thought you were the devil, and no mistake. I also thought…” She stopped.
“What?”
She shook her head. “Nay. I’ll no’ repeat those thoughts.”
“Och, but you will. You’ve got my curiosity riled,” he said lightly.
“You’ll be angry, Jamie, and I dinna want to spoil—”
“As if you could,” he interrupted with a grin.
“There’s nothing you could say to make me angry at this moment.
But never fear making me angry, sweetheart.
I do have a temper, as you can attest. You’ll see it no doubt, time and again, but I’ll never harm you, I swear.
” She still hesitated, and he added, “Come now, lass. You must learn to trust me.”
She sighed. “’Tis only when I thought I would die, I thought of…
of your first wife…that she had died that way, too.
In your arms. Happy.” As he tensed, she added quickly, “I know how ridiculous it was to even think it. I canna believe you even touched her, for if you had, she would never have killed herself.”
Jamie’s eyes were inscrutable, but his body was tense, as if he was fighting for control.
“Och, Jamie, I’m sorry. But you see, I thought the worst of you ’afore today. I believed the stories. I may as well say it.”
“Say it all, m’dear, by all means.” His voice was hard as an iron blade.
Sheena did. “The story was your first wife killed herself because of your brutal raping of her on your wedding day. I believed the story because I never heard any tale to the contrary. I heard only of rape, murder, and mayhem. Is it any wonder I couldna tell you who I was, any wonder I believed you would kill me if you knew? I was wrong,” she said.
“Wrong about you and about your wife. Wasn’t I? ”
He was enraged that she felt she had to ask him that. Could she not see clearly enough who he was?
“Maybe wrong, and maybe right,” he said sarcastically.
Her eyes filled with tears, and Jamie was instantly remorseful. He shouldn’t have been so hurt by her mentioning Ailis Mackintosh. She had been trusting enough to confide in him, and he had done just what he had sworn he wouldn’t do.
“Och, Sheena, ’tis a brute I am, and no mistake.
Of course the stories were wrong. I’ve never taken a woman who didna want it so.
As for mayhem, well mayhem can at times be unavoidable.
And murder? I’ll no’ deny I’ve killed men in battle.
I’ve even sentenced one of my own kin to death, one who was deserving of that justice.
But I’ve never murdered for the sake of killing, Sheena.
No killing is to my liking, but what Scot hasna killed or wounded another in his lifetime?
Is your father innocent of fighting and killing?
Will your brother still be innocent of it ’afore long?
Will you blame me for a life I canna change? For doing what I must do?”
He waited. He waited a long time. Finally she whispered, “I won’t.”
Jamie smiled, relieved greatly. “Then let me put your mind at rest about one thing more, sweetheart. You were right in thinking I never even touched my first wife. The wedding was arranged by our fathers. I had never seen Ailis Mackintosh ’afore we were joined in marriage.
Nor did anyone warn me that she was a weak, fanciful lass, and utterly terrified of men—no’ just me, Sheena, but all men, including her own father.
She was dead ’afore I came to her that awful night.
Her serving lass later confessed the poor thing’s fear of men and that she was forced into our marriage and had sworn she would kill herself ’afore she’d let a man touch her.
Her father apparently didna believe she would, and hadn’t told me of the threat.
He still didna accept it and blamed me and my family for her death.
We’ve been enemies with the Mackintosh clan ever since. ”
“So that is why you swore you’d never marry a lass unless you’d tried her first?”
“Do you blame me? ’Twas horrible what Ailis did, a bitter shock.
Any lass who looked at me in fear after that I stayed well away from.
Is it any wonder your fear upset me so? You I couldna stay away from, as much as I sometimes wanted to.
It didna help to know it was only me you feared, and not men in general. ”
“Och, well, you know why now.”
“Aye. A foolish reason,” he said.
“I didna think so.”
He grinned down at her, his eyes reflecting amusement. “Even when I kissed you and you enjoyed it?”
“I didna enjoy it!” she protested.
Jamie chuckled. “A liar to the end, eh? Well, let us see if you’ll admit now to enjoying my kissing.”
And he kissed her. And she did enjoy it. And what followed was as lovely as could be imagined. Their guests were forgotten for a good while longer.