Chapter 4
GRANT
By the time I get back to the cabin, I am exhausted. Thankfully, the smoke coming from the chimney is still going strong. That lets me know that she at least got up long enough to throw a few logs on the fire to keep the cabin warm on these cold, late-spring nights.
Unsaddling Rebel, I rub him down quickly, grab him an extra scoop of feed, then throw my stuffed saddlebags over my shoulder before making my way up to the back door just before a light rain hits. Opening it up, the smell of coffee in the air hits me.
The entire cabin is dark other than the shadows of the fire in the hearth. When I see the bedroom door is shut, I head into the kitchen, my entire body drained from this incredibly long, life-changing day.
Throwing my coat over the back of the chair, I find a single clean cup sitting on the mantle.
Grabbing the still-warm coffee pot, I don’t hesitate to pour myself a cup.
Plopping down in the chair, I allow myself a moment to relax, taking a quick sip.
I stop and glance down. It looks the same, but this sure isn’t the bitter crap I’m used to drinking.
Finishing it in two gulps, I pull my boots off and make my way to bed, practically falling asleep on my way down.
What feels like ten minutes later, Blue crowing his head off wakes me up.
Hearing the bedroom door open, I keep my eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep, to see what she does next.
When she leaves but doesn’t come right back into the cabin, I start to get up, only to flop back down when the back door opens, like a kid trying not to get caught by his mother.
I strain to hear what she’s doing, only to rise to my feet when I smell bacon mixed with coffee. Tiptoeing around the screen that separates my bedroom from the living area, I am infuriated when I see her standing there, washing dishes out of an oversized pail.
“What are you doing?!” The words come out harsher than I mean them to and I see her jump, rapidly putting her head down, grasping her hands tightly together in front of her, and instantly, I feel like an ass.
“I am sorry, Lauren. I didn’t mean it to come out that way, but you are supposed to be resting.
How the hell did you get that bucket of water in here? ”
“The creek is not that far from the house, and I figured you would want breakfast.” There she stands in my shirt, one sock up, the other around her ankle, shaking like a leaf.
Both of us turn when we smell the bacon burning.
Before I can reach her, she grabs the hot skillet only to instantly drop it onto the ground, grasping her now burned hand against her chest.
“I am sss orrrr y. Give me a minute and I will clean this up and get you something to eat.”
“The hell you will … sit your bottom down.” I point toward the other chair in the room and she sits down, but not before I see tears streaking down her cheeks.
Grabbing an old rag, I dip it into the cold water and gently pull her hand away from her chest. My fingers seek out the blisters that are already swelling on her palm.
“Here, hold this on your hand and the cold will help ease the burn. There is an old aloe plant in here somewhere. Do not move. I’ll be right back. ”
It takes me a minute to even remember where I last saw it. Once I dig it out from a pile of clothes, I break off a piece and run back in. My heart is beating out of my chest. Even though my mind tells me this is just a simple burn, the fact that she got hurt at all is just unacceptable to me.
In the two seconds I have been gone, she’s managed to move the pan further out of the fire, but at least she is back in the chair. “Here, let me put this on so it can help.”
“Please don’t be mad.” Her voice is low, but there’s no missing the fear in it.
I lift her chin with my finger, then wipe the tears off her cheeks.
“I am not mad, Little Mouse. Upset that you were up trying to do all of this when I told you to rest, Yes. You can barely stand up straight because of your ribs and the last thing you need to be doing is carrying anything heavy. Why did you grab that pan? You know the handle’s hot. ”
“I didn’t think, I just reacted. It’s been years since I’ve cooked over an open hearth.”
“Forgive me, I forgot most of the homes in town have wood-burning kitchen stoves. I noticed that last night when I went to get your things. I will get one ordered … No, we will go to town together when you’re feeling better and you can pick out the one you want.” Her eyes suddenly get large.
“What? You want me to pick it out?”
“Well, of course. I have no idea what you might need and you’ll be using it more than I am. You should be the one to pick what you want to make your life easier. Has the burning calmed down?”
“Yes, thank you. The swelling is going away now. I must have dropped it before it could do too much damage.”
When she starts to get back up, I push her down gently. “You stay right there. My stew may not be the best, but I can fix eggs and bacon … Damnit! I’m going to have to go fight with Blue. I’ll be right back.”
The next thing I know, I’m struggling with the latch on the coop’s frame.
Blue is already standing next to the door, his feathers ruffled, ready to fight.
“Get your ornery ass back, Blue. I’m only gonna grab a couple eggs.
” Of course, he doesn’t cooperate and I end up bleeding before I get the gate closed.
Stomping in the back door, I’m cussing and growling the entire time. “I swear I’m going to enjoy having him for supper one night!!”
Lauren still has her head down, but I notice a smile on her lips. After dumping the burned bacon, I set fresh strips in the pan and add eggs to the other side before returning it to the cradle. I practically burn everything before I find the spatula. The entire time, she’s said nothing.
“I know you have questions, please ask them.”
“You said we were married earlier … how?”
“Much to my own surprise, when I was putting you in the wagon, the preacher stopped to tell me that he would not allow me to take you unless I officially married you. From what I understand, he was going to erase your previous marriage from the records and replace it with ours.”
“I’ve never heard of such a thing,”
“Back east, that would have been a scandal for sure, but here, they kinda make the rules up as they go. I do apologize for not giving you a say in the matter. It all happened so fast and you were in such bad shape, I simply was not concerned about such trivialities.”
She shakes her head only to look back down at the floor. Grabbing two semi-clean plates, I scoop the eggs onto them, then add a few pieces of bacon, setting them on the table before grabbing the percolator and filling both cups.
“How are your ribs this morning? Did you sleep well considering the circumstances?”
“The willow bark tea helped me sleep, but honestly, everything seems to hurt. However, I am used to pushing through the pain, so I will do my best to help today.”
“You planning on breaking in the new horse I acquired a few weeks ago, or digging some coal out of the mine to sell in town? I know, you’re going to sit hunched over the cold creek bed and pan for gold all day.”
“You’re funning me.”
“Yes, I am. You are going to do two shits of nothing until you’re feeling better, Little Mouse.”
“But…”
“There is no but. Unless you can do it sitting down, it’s not going to happen. Damn it Lauren, have you looked in a mirror? Little Mouse, you look like you’ve been dragged behind a horse.”
A tear flows down her cheek and I reach over and wipe it off.
“Listen, this is a significant change for both of us. I know I’m big and scary and Lord knows, I wish you wouldn’t fear me, but that’s going to take time.
Honestly, all I want you to do is recuperate and heal.
I don’t care if you do small things if it makes you feel better, but no heavy lifting or being on your feet for hours.
If you want to sit on the porch and watch the clouds or read a book, that’s fine with me, too.
I have been taking care of myself for years, so adding you to the equation for a few days is not a problem.
Once you’re done eating, I have a surprise for you. ”
She looks up at me, frowning. “For me?”
“Unless there is another pretty blonde sitting around here, then yes … it’s for you.”
“I am not pretty.” Once again, I can barely hear her.
“Says who? Even with all that extra coloring and excessive swelling, your beauty is easily noticed.”
She doesn’t look at me again, simply chews on a piece of bacon and I wonder if her jaw is also sore. When I finish the last of my eggs, I grab my saddlebags, then start pulling the packages out one at a time, setting them in front of her.
She leans back slightly, a frown on her face.
“Are you done?”
She nods, and I push her plate out of the way before handing her the first one.
“What is this?”
“Necessities mostly, but presents still the same. You can’t walk around in my shirt forever, even though it does look better on you than it ever has on me.” A light blush flares on her cheeks, and I can’t help but smile. “Here, there are several so start opening.”
The first thing is the mirror and comb set. She doesn’t even look at her reflection, simply turns it over, running her fingers along the beautiful inlay on the back. By the time she is done, the table is covered in clothes, and I watch as she hesitates to touch anything once opened.
“Beatrice said you may have to take some of them in. She put a sewing kit in here somewhere.” When she still doesn’t say anything, the words just rush out of me.
“I know you will need more than this. When we go to town, you can order more in the colors you like. If there is anything here you want to take back, that’s fine as well. I’m sure she will give us credit.”
She grabs a handful of the clothes off the table, clutching them to her breast like a wild animal. Now I am truly confused. “You are going to have to tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours, Little Mouse.”
“These are for me?” She points at the table.
“Yes honey, I bought them last night. I also have your bag with the other things you owned by the back door, just forgot to get it. Hold on.” Grabbing the bag off the floor, my eyes glance out back, aggravated to see that it’s starting to rain hard.
Turning back, I set the bag next to her on the floor.
“Not knowing what was yours or what was his, I did my best. I did find a locket in the box on the mantel and put it on top in the bag for you. If it is not yours, I’ll have Harvey return it. ”
Before those words are even out of my mouth, she has reached down, pulling the bag up onto her lap, her fingers frantically searching inside.
I know the moment she’s found it because she closes her eyes as she lifts the small velvet bag against her chest. The tears flowing now are from a different pain.
“He told me he threw it away and all this time I thought it was gone, and it was right there. I was convinced he sold it.”
“Why would that bastard do that?”
“I smiled at one of the stable hands when he helped me across one of the planks one morning. Oren saw it from the mill and I had no idea until I got home later, … Afterwards ...”
She can’t even finish the sentence, and I know it’s because of the pain it causes.
I reach over, taking her hand in my own, marveling at the strength in such tiny fingers.
“I am so sorry, Little Mouse. I don’t have the means to fix yesterday, but in time, I hope to replace your tomorrows with something better. Do you not like the clothes?”
“I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had new ones; always wore hand-me-downs or something someone else discarded. I feel unworthy of such an expense and all the trouble I’ve caused you.”
“Lauren, we can’t allow others to have the power to make us feel unworthy.
You were a young woman born and sold into situations beyond her control, and yet you survived.
To me, that makes you worth every penny.
I will not sit here and tell you that moving on is easy, because that’s a lie.
I was asked a question yesterday that I still don’t have an answer for, but it had me thinking all the way home last night.
I am here because of something beyond my control as well.
When things didn’t work out the way I imagined, I shoved it all away.
Pretended and lied to myself simply to continue functioning from day to day.
So, you are not the only lost soul wandering around but hopefully, we will be able to anchor ourselves together and make something better …
something that was worth the pain to get right here. ”
Blue crowing again, and the sound of the animals outside catches my attention and I realize it’s later in the morning than I realized. “I need to tend to the animals, so try on your clothes and just relax. Work will come soon enough, it always does.”
“You really want me to lounge around while you work?”
“I really do! Read a book, alter your clothes, if need be and sleep some more. Spend the day doing anything you want. But no heavy lifting or walking around more than you need to.”
Throwing a few logs on the fire, I grab my Mackintosh since it’s still raining and head out, her battered, confused face floating around in my mind as I work through the familiar chores.