Chapter 8
LAUREN
I sit here on the bed, somewhat dumbfounded. Never in my wildest imagination could I have dreamed that story up. Just goes to show how money, even though needed, does not make you happy.
Finding out that Eliza was not his wife is even more shocking. I cared for my sisters, but my older brothers were too much like father and only interested in drinking and causing trouble. So, that type of commitment and love for a sibling is not something I truly understand.
Struggling to get out of his oversized shirt, I finally slide the soft flannel gown on over my head, instantly engulfed in its warmth, before climbing into bed.
My ribs complain when I roll over on my side, but I ignore them as I curl up tightly, the blankets cold against my bare legs.
Even though my mind won’t settle as it relives the events of the last couple of days, I must have fallen into a deep sleep before waking abruptly because I have to void my bladder.
Throwing my shawl around my shoulders, I slip my feet into my boots. Half asleep, I stumble out the back door only to see the moon bright in the sky and sparkling stars. I curse myself for being out here in the cold because I know better than to drink coffee before bed.
I’ve just come back in, shutting the door gently behind me, when I hear it.
At first, it takes me a second to realize where the noise is coming from, but my feet carry me quickly to the living area and Grant’s makeshift bedroom.
He isn’t thrashing around, but the horrifying, moan-like scream leaving his lips has me kneeling next to his bed.
“Grant, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.
” He’s so wrapped up in this nightmare that he isn’t hearing me.
I touch his shoulder with my fingers, pushing gently.
“Grant, wake up,” I say somewhat louder, but still nothing.
I know it’s a bad idea before I even do it, but there’s no way I can leave him in the hell that has captured his mind.
Grasping his face with both my hands, I rub my fingers along his strong jawline. “Grant, come back to me.”
Before I know what’s happened, I find myself under him, my ribs screaming where he has pinned my arms above my head, and a whimper leaves my lips.
Grant is awake, but he isn’t seeing me. “Grant, it’s me, Lauren, wake up.
” This time, my voice has him looking down, then around as if he is trying to figure out where he is.
“Lauren? What are you doing in here? Oh my Lord! Please forgive me … did I hurt you?”
“You were having a bad dream and I couldn’t get you to wake up.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, startled me more than anything. For someone who was asleep, you sure moved fast. If you’re alright now, I’ll head back to bed and let you rest.”
“Stay.”
“What?”
“I promise I won’t touch you, but can you stay? I don’t want to be alone right now.”
The haunted look on his face is easy to recognize and I understand more than most about not wanting to be alone. So instead of making a fuss, I give in. “Well, scoot over, you weigh a ton. If you hog all the blankets, I’m gonna burn your eggs in the morning.”
His laughter echoes around the room as he leans down, slipping my boots off.
Before I can complain or say a word, he’s turned me on my side and is spooned up against my back, this thick, newly washed blanket tucked all around us.
His massive arm is draped over my side but thankfully, its added weight is not hurting my ribs.
Even though I shouldn’t be I’m warm and way too comfortable.
I drift off to sleep quickly; my dreams suddenly filled with laughter and long kisses.
The sound of the rooster crowing jerks me awake.
Somehow during the night, I must have turned over because I’m pressed up against his side.
My head’s laying comfortably on his shoulder, as my hand rests on his chest, I suddenly become horrified when I realize my leg is thrown over his much larger, very naked leg.
When I start to slide my leg off his, a firm hand wraps around my thigh as the large arm tucked behind my back pulls me closer. His soft snores make me smile, especially when I realize he’s still asleep. After a few minutes, I try to slide out again, only for him to open one eye.
“Stay still woman … can’t you tell I am trying to sleep here?”
I know my face is beet red and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, “The rooster says it’s time to get up.”
“Blue can yell his little heart out. I’m warm and you are way too easy to snuggle with. I think we should just stay here today.”
“Well, that’s one way of getting what you want.”
He leans his head down. “What do I want?”
“Me to do absolutely nothing.”
“Yes, I was thinking that very same thing.”
I hit him playfully on the chest and then startle when I realize what I did.
“Lauren, you just tensed up. What’s wrong?”
“I struck you. I’m sorry, I was … just … playing.”
“I never thought any differently. Stop worrying about every little action. If you do something I don’t like, I am man enough to tell you, and I expect no less from you. Am I making you uncomfortable, holding you like this?”
“No, … yes … honestly, I’m not sure. Never experienced anything like this before.”
“What?? That horse’s ass never held you?!”
“No! The only time he usually touched me at all was when … well, you know what he wanted. You are the first person to see me fully naked besides the doctor since I was a child. Oren and I seldom even slept in the same bed. He had a habit of coming in drunk and passing out in the chair in front of the fireplace. Which was just fine with me because I did my best to be as unnoticeable as possible.”
“Excuse my language, but what a fucking idiot! I did my best not to look when I made you strip out of those rags, but there was no missing your curves. Let alone that perfect, pear-shaped bottom and that perfect bosom that was only inches from my face were enough to tempt a saint. Let me guess, he threw up your skirts, did his deed and was gone, leaving you unsatisfied and a mess afterwards.”
“It’s improper to talk of such things.”
“You are mine and between us, there is nothing improper.”
“Well, in that case, then, it’s almost like you were there. But is that not the right way? I mean, I’ve heard rumors and others talking. I’m not a child and I know that coupling is different with each couple, but he was not interested in anything but my womb.”
“That’s the one thing I couldn’t care less about.
If kids come, they come and if not, that’s fine as well.
I have plenty of family to leave whatever we build together, either way.
And let me clear this up without being crude or making you any more uncomfortable when we finally come to that point in our marriage …
and we will. Your pleasure will always come before mine and your screams will echo throughout this valley, but not in a bad way. ”
I know my eyes are huge as I’m clueless as to what he speaks of, but my body suddenly seems overly hot, and I can feel my pantaloons getting damp between my legs.
“Lauren, I am sorry for waking you up last night, but I will say it was worth it. Never dreamed I would get you in my bed this quickly.”
Shaking my head, I tuck my nose against his skin, trying not to laugh. “Stop being a rascal! I hate nightmares and many a night I wish someone would have woken me up.”
I’m not expecting his following words or interest.
“What do you dream about?”
“They have changed over the years. When I first got married, I would dream of being back home, father’s black eyes filled with the constant disdain he held for me.”
“I take it you were not fond of the man?”
“I hated him and every male around him, to be honest. Father rented a room out of our barn to travelers passing through, as there were no close inns or towns around, and people regularly found themselves on the wrong path.
It was my job to keep it clean and take care of whatever the visitors needed.
That ranged from food and more blankets to basic first aid.
I would even tend to their animals if need be.
Not everyone who passed by was bad or even ungrateful.
My sister Odette met her husband when he took a wrong turn one late stormy night.
He promised he would come back for her and even though I didn’t believe it, all of us were shocked when a large carriage with a crest pulled up outside, and he got out.
He took her away from that hell the very next day after marrying her in the local church.
I think in the back of my mind, I always wished my own hero would pull up one day and take me away from it all.
Instead, the opposite happened. I made my father angry one night, don’t even remember what I did now, and the next thing I know, Oren is there, and father is handing him my bag.
It was filled with the few things I owned, and he told him never to bring me back. I didn’t even really know who he was.
I’d only seen Oren in passing since he drove a delivery cart for the local lumber mill, but we had never spoken.
The first night we were together, I couldn’t stop crying.
I never dreamed father would do something like that to me; sell me off like a piece of unwanted beef.
But that’s precisely what I felt like after Oren had his way with me.