Chapter 30 Amber
Amber
I love it when he says please like that.
I hold onto that memory as I greet Dex at the door half an hour later, dressed in one of Cal's long shirts with my hair thrown on top of my head and secured with a ribbon. I wasn't in a rush to put on a proper outfit when Dex would know what we'd been up to anyway.
“Thank you for coming.” I say, pulling at the sleeves to tug them over my hands as far as they'll go, as if that will make the awkwardness of what he's about to see disappear. It won't, especially because he steps aside and allows a small blonde girl to pass him.
She flashes me a smile that looks too uncomfortable to be polite and walks in, turning to be sure Dex has followed her.
“This is Katrina.” Dex says, introducing the girl with her neutral dress and pale skin.
She's beautiful, fragile, and elf-like. She’s not much shorter than me, but her fair complexion makes her look so much more… breakable.
“Hi.” I say, laughing as I realize that Dex doesn't know how to introduce her. Or, for that matter, me.
“Amber,” I say, holding out a hand for Katrina. She looks startled by the gesture, and her lips fall open in surprise before she catches herself and shakes my hand.
Dex nods his approval, and I notice Katrina watching me intently. There's no ill will in her gaze, no jealousy or concern that the man she came here with is talking to me. It's oddly refreshing.
“Like your eyes.” She says, nipping her bottom lip between her teeth. “They're really pretty.”
“Oh.” I chuckle because it's so unexpected I don't know how else to respond to that.
But then I take a moment to really look at her. She's beautiful, self-possessed despite her discomfort.
“Thank you.”
“Dex!” Cal calls. “Fucking help me, man! I'm about to piss my own bed!”
Dex snorts before turning to go help his best friend escape the trap I got him in. Katrina follows him, and I follow her, though she hangs back when we get to the door where Dex is bent over, laughing so hard he's snorting.
“Laugh it up, man.” Cal says. “You won't be laughing anymore when I tell my Little Doll all about your first kiss and how I had to save you back then.”
I lift an eyebrow, intrigued by what the story is there. But I guess I'm not getting it yet, because Dex lets his laughter taper off as he turns to face me.
“You sure you want me to let him loose? We could leave him a bit... give him a taste of his own medicine.”
I know that shouldn't be funny to me, but it is. I can't help giggling at the thought of leaving him here, chained to the bed, unable to touch me, to take what he wants even when I'm offering it up to him on a silver platter.
“I failed out of nursing school, so I don't think I have what it takes to keep him alive.”
“You did?” Cal asks, turning his attention to me. “You didn't tell me that.”
He says it like it's a secret I intentionally kept from him, rather than something we haven't discussed yet. He didn't seem all too interested in who I was before I was his, and it's not like we've talked about much in the grand scheme of things.
“You didn't ask.” I shrug.
“So, you two…” Dex clears his throat, his eyes glancing quickly over the stuffed pig I used to obscure his cock. I didn’t ask why he had a stuffed pig to begin with, but I did get it some friends so it wouldn’t be lonely.
I have a feeling Cal will get me back for not throwing the sheet over his lap at least, but he deserved the little bit of humiliation.
Although, I don't know that he's as humiliated as I expected. “You're together?”
That's a loaded fucking question, and I'm going nowhere near it.
I know that Dex is aware of his best friend's proclivities for murder, but I'm not going to tell him that we've been sleeping together and plotting how to murder men who rape, using me as bait.
Something tells me he won't exactly support our plan.
Cal's eyes dart to me, trying to get a feel for my answer. When I give him nothing, he turns back to Dex.
“I'm in love.”
Though it doesn't feel like a real declaration, that takes me entirely by surprise so that my lips part to try and refute him, to assure Dex that whatever is going on between us is just a strategy.
But the truth is, I don't know what I'm still doing here with him.
In the first hours that I was awake, I knew I had to play it smart, that running wouldn't work.
I knew it was a risky move, even before he told me he meant to kill me.
I'd convinced myself to play a long game, to get him to enjoy my company, to tell me things, and to help me.
In a way, that's exactly what we're doing.
The silence is long and heavy... at least, for me it is. It's why I force a laugh.
“A woman chains you to the bed one time, and suddenly you're in love?”
Dex is quiet as he reaches into his pocket and produces the key, holding it out to me in an offering. “I'll leave you in charge of this, then.”
I accept the key warily and make quick work of unlocking the cuffs from one wrist. They clang against the headboard, and Cal doesn't even give me the chance to unlock the second one before he snatches me against him, kisses me on the mouth, and then pushes me onto the bed so he can dart past me, still clutching the pig against his dick to preserve some of his modesty.
He doesn't even shut the bathroom door before I hear the toilet lid lifting, and then a sobbing sigh of relief escapes him as the sound of splashing follows.
I turn to find Dex watching me quietly, like he's lost in thought again. I'm just about to ask him what's the matter when he speaks.
“I know what he did to you was wrong…” He hesitates, his eyes flicking to the bathroom to be sure Cal isn't about to materialize. “But you need to understand, he's a brother to me. He's the only family I've got.”
I nod, deciding not to tell him that I get it. It doesn't stop my eyes from misting with tears that I blink away when I think about my brother.
“I understand.”
They clearly have a special sort of relationship.
Why would your best friend have a key to the handcuffs you keep in the bedside drawer?
I trail a glance down Dex, wondering whether they've ever been together.
They say they're like brothers, but what I felt for my brother wasn't strictly familial. And he wasn’t any more my blood than Cal is Dex’s.
Living your whole life thinking that something is wrong with you, you eventually get to believe it. There was something wrong with me from the very start—I'm sure it's why I ended up in state housing to begin with. Whatever it is that was broken never healed as other things broke, too.
As a semi-functional adult, I can recognize the things that have made me the way I am—trauma and anxiety.
I felt things for my brother that I shouldn't have, and while I've never admitted it, I'm self-aware enough to realize it's because he's the only one who's ever shown me any semblance of love or care.
He was the only one.
Now I've got Cal, and it's so fucking confusing I can't even begin to unravel my feelings.
I wanted to hate him. I really did. I tried to see him as a monster.
He's a fucking killer.
He admitted to planning to murder me, and he kept me as his unwilling and unconscious sex slave for months.
But he's not a monster—not like the ones where I came from.
When I told him to fuck me the way he did while I was unconscious, I didn't expect him to make me feel anything.
I thought it would help my brain process the time I'd lost, that it would show me I can survive him awake since I survived him drugged.
I sure as fuck didn't expect that he'd break me somehow and also put me back together a little in the interim.
I'm not sure he even realized that he asked for my consent twice that time, that he didn't simply force me to come for him without giving me the choice to decline, making me give him something I can't take back.
Is this Stockholm syndrome? Am I softening to him because he told me that he loves me? Because he's been less awful than the monsters of my past?
“I don't think you do.” Dex shakes his head, his voice low as we hear the toilet flush, followed by the sound of water running in the sink. “I will protect him at all costs. Any cost. If you get in the way of that…”
I swallow, suddenly more unnerved than I've ever been in his presence.
That was absolutely a threat, and I know in my gut it's not an empty one.
Before I can even contend with that, Cal comes back into the room, brandishing Mr. Pig with a flourish.
The grin slips off his face when he stops walking, and I worry at first that he heard our conversation. Then I realize that his eyes are fixed over our shoulders... on the girl in the doorway.
Katrina's tongue flicks out over her lips, making her look nervous. Suddenly, the tension that existed between Dex and me is nothing compared to whatever is between Cal and Katrina.
I frown, looking from her to him, trying to decide what I'm missing.
“Cal,” Dex says calmly. “You remember Katrina?”
“Katrina?” Cal shakes his head. “I thought it was Tiffany?”
“That's my, um, stage name.”
Stage name?
I blink, turning to assess her. Katrina is beautiful, but she's not what I'd expect from a stripper. She's so... tiny and delicate.
She looks like I could snap her by breathing too hard.
“What is she doing here?” Cal asks, ignoring Katrina in favor of Dex.
“Well, I thought it was time to come clean with you about my own secret.”
Cal's brow furrows, managing to look offended by the idea that his best friend was keeping something from him. His eyes flit back to Katrina, seeking an explanation.
When she doesn't offer him anything, I decide to break the silence.
“Are you his ex or something?”
“His ex?” Katrina chuckles, but it's a nervous sound. “God, no. I, um…” She blows out a breath and then meets my gaze squarely. “He tried to kill me.”
Tried.
Clearly, he wasn't successful. Did he not try hard enough, or did he develop feelings for her too?