Chapter 4
I have no idea why those words came out of my mouth, maybe because I was so angry or because the bent pipe had actually reminded me of a snake at first. “An orange-and-black striped one…” I added, shocked at myself—it was merely a scratch, and Nathan feared the death of a loved one.
I wanted to tell him that it was only a stupid joke, but as he charged toward me, my throat constricted.
His face was white as alabaster, even paler than Sparta’s, and his eyes were filled with a deep, terrified darkness.
He no longer looked like himself but like a man whose soul had been stolen by a demon.
Completely void. He fell to his knees in front of me and grasped my leg with his hands, but I still couldn’t say anything.
“Willa,” he whispered, his voice wavering. “Good God, Will…”
I automatically grabbed his hair. The rain had washed it soft and silky. “It…it’s only a scratch…” I finally stammered. “I…it was a joke…I didn’t mean for you…”
His grip tightened when he realized I had lied. Then he jumped up as quickly as if he had superhuman powers. His fear-shadowed face hardened and his lips thin. For a moment, I thought he was going to slap me, but he wordlessly grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly behind him.
“I…I’m sorry, Nathan…”
Under his withering gaze, flames would have turned to ice. “Oh, you will be, believe me!”
“What…why?” I stumbled clumsily after him, brushing against a tree and scraping my arm. “Do you think you can play the spoiled billionaire’s daughter who gets stubborn just because she doesn’t get her way?”
“No, I didn’t mean to…”
“Save your words! Your father can buy you anything, can’t he? You’ve always gotten everything you wanted! But I…I can’t be bought! Remember that!”
“I didn’t mean to buy you either,” I replied impatiently. “I simply meant to…”
“That I’d get scared? You wanted to punish me for not letting you get close to me. I may not have your education, I didn’t have private lessons at home, but I’m not stupid!”
“It was unfair, I know…”
He stopped abruptly. His eyes were like two gray crescent moons. “Unfair?” he asked, breathless with anger, his cheeks glowing green in the misty light of the forest. “You call that unfair?” Then he marched on without saying a single word and I didn’t dare open my mouth about it again.
He held on to me the entire way, and when we reached the hut, I sighed with relief, hoping he would come to his senses around the others, but he didn’t head for the stairs.
Instead, he pulled me toward the tiny shed next to the shack.
“What are you…?” The words caught in my throat as he fiddled with the rusty padlock on the shed with one hand.
“What are you doing?” I tried to tear my hands from him, but he had obviously expected it and gripped them tighter.
“I wouldn’t fight back if I were you.” Sounding worryingly calm, his nimble fingers worked the padlock until it opened. He was correct, of course, a test of strength would be pointless. “Now get in there!”
“In the shed?”
“Do you see anything else here?”
“Nathan,” I began but stopped when he shoved me in.
“This is ridiculous,” I said, but a vague fear flickered in my stomach that I had finally broken him. “Are you trying to punish me like a child by locking me in a dark room?”
He was standing in the doorway. “I don’t want to see you for the next twenty-four hours. But I don’t want to have to tie you up somewhere or fear that something will actually happen to you on the island.”
“You don’t want to see me? That’s not true.
Of course you want to see me. And that’s not what this is about.
All you want is revenge. Revenge for what my father did, revenge for my words.
Revenge for this whole unjust world. Even revenge for your feelings for me.
But that doesn’t solve anything and it doesn’t make anything better.
” Tears crept into my eyes and I hated that he saw them.
“Do you think a single person will come back from the dead if my father is in prison? Nothing will change. It won’t change anything inside you either.
It will only make everything a thousand times worse. ”
He stared at me from head to toe. “And your words just now—that was a kind of revenge itself.”
“I told you I was sorry. It… I didn’t think…”
“Didn’t think?” His eyes narrowed and then he slammed the door shut.
I was standing in the dark, but it wasn’t pitch black since the shed was made of boards that weren’t quite flush with each other.
I heard Nathan attach the padlock to the door.
“You used my greatest fear to get back at me for something you know nothing about,” he replied angrily.
“If you were a man, I would have beaten you.”
I had to swallow. “And because you can’t do that, you lock me up? Like in the beginning?” He hated me. Obviously, he did. What I’d done even if it lasted only seconds for him, had been unforgivable. “I’m sorry…” I whispered.
“Yeah, right,” he said mockingly, hitting the boards. “Now!”
From the musty shed, I heard him march away, and then I sank down onto a tarp on the ground and hit a board angrily before tears of anger welled up in my eyes. Anger at him but also at myself.
Why hadn’t I kept my mouth shut? I knew he was afraid to get involved with me.
And now you’re locking me up because you want me to hate you. That’s how it is! Because it will be easier for you.
If the hate came from me, he would no longer have to worry about his feelings. He had done that from the beginning. That was definitely the reason for this act.
It rained a second time that afternoon and the shed absorbed the moisture. My clothes remained damp, it was hot and stuffy, my stomach was growling, and I was thirsty. There was nothing to do here because all the tools that were stored here and the wheelbarrow were outside.
I waited.
Nathan didn’t come.
At some point, I banged on the door. “Nathan! For heaven’s sake, let me out! Nathan!”
Even though he definitely heard me, he was probably ignoring me. The others didn’t show up either, probably because he had forbidden it. Like his brother.
I kept waiting. Swarms of mosquitoes found their way through the cracks and kept landing on my arms, so I kept thrashing around, which wasn’t really possible in the cramped space without bumping into something.
Now and then, I stood and peered outside through the gaps between the boards, but there was nothing there except shimmering damp air.
At some point, after what seemed like an eternity, Nathan finally returned. He had a bottle of water with him, which he wordlessly pressed into my hand. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” he asked.
“No,” I lied defiantly, hoping he would say something else, but he slammed the door in my face.
I heard the lock click and his footsteps moving away.
“Are we back to a hostage situation now?” I called after him. “You wanted to teach me what deprivation means! Are you doing that now? Am I only getting bread and water now?”
He didn’t answer.
Scumbag!
And I didn’t even have bread!
Hours passed or at least the wait felt like hours. I sensed the night creeping through the forest and I was afraid that Nathan wouldn’t let me out even in the dark. But the more time passed, the angrier I became. Still, I wouldn’t hate him, that he wouldn’t achieve, and that gave me a tiny triumph.
If only I didn’t need to use the bathroom so badly! I should have gone earlier! Besides, I had long since finished the water bottle and was still thirsty. I sat on the floor and spun it around like I was playing Spin the Bottle until noises in the approaching dusk made me uneasy.
The plants around me rustled as if snakes were slithering over the fallen leaves. The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine.
I quickly rose and banged on the door. “Nathan! What if a snake crawls in here?” Okay, that was definitely not an argument he wanted to hear, but I was terrified of coral snakes. I peered through the cracks again and listened.
Yellow lights smoldered in the distance like the reflective eyes of alligators, and every now and then, I heard a loud splash, like a small car falling into the water. What if Isaac was creeping up now and I was trapped here unable to run away?
I stood tensely in the middle of the shed, but when my stomach growled for the umpteenth time, I pressed my nose against the wood again and looked up at the lit windows. I could faintly smell stew, and even if it were only canned food, I would have given anything for it.
But I received nothing. Instead, I heard the clatter of dishes and voices rang out now and again.
I heard Pan speaking, but I didn’t understand exactly what he was saying, but it sounded disapproving.
Maybe he was taking my side. Full of hope, I peered out with one eye.
Now, the night was a black, living shimmer.
The swampy forest was full of noise, and when the light in the wooden house went out, it was suddenly pitch black.
Nathan was serious. He was going to keep me trapped in here all night. Just as I thought that, I heard someone fiddling with the padlock, and a second later, the door opened.
“Here, another drink for you.” Nathan stood in the darkness. I blinked several times to get a better look. He stared at me, still as a statue. I suddenly felt infinitely vulnerable and I certainly looked awful.
“I don’t hate you,” I whispered, starting to cry and cursing myself. “You lost.”
“This isn’t a game, Will.” His eyes glowed in the blackness like night-darkened seawater in a spotlight.
For a moment, I thought about how he had saved me from drowning and his brother.
I thought about Pan saying he had a good heart.
Gott hjarta , but I hadn’t felt any of that today and I was furious.
Nevertheless, I took the small water bottle he held out to me and drank it in one go. When I went to give it back to him, the entrance was empty.