Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
LISA LISA he had always been smart. After showing me the hot spots for food, entertainment, and photocopies, we grabbed cans of pop and bags of chips near the campus bookstore and found a bench to watch the squirrels.
“Do you like your roommate?” he asked, popping a ranch-flavored chip into his mouth.
“Yeah, so far. Her name’s Olivia. She’s from Ohio, just outside of Akron, and she wants to be a lawyer too.”
And she wanted to do weird sex positions with my best friend, but Matt didn’t need to know that.
“My mom said you had a friend from school who’s here as well.” Matt tossed a chip toward the squirrel near our bench.
I sipped my Sprite, then nodded. “Ben. He wants to be a conductor.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Nope. Just a friend. You’ve met Ben, but you probably don’t remember. It’s been years.”
“Yeah, I think I remember him. He sounds like Sarah, a music lover.”
I wondered if he’d mention my sister’s name. It had been over four years since their breakup.
“Sarah’s more …” I twisted my lips, searching for the right word as a group of students walked past us, leaving a trail of cigarette smoke in their wake.
I coughed and Matt laughed. His older brother used to smoke, but I hated cigarette smoke.
“Sarah likes country and pop music. Ben salivates over Beethoven. They’re not at all alike.” I waved my hand at the residual smoke.
“Well, who doesn’t get a hard-on from Beethoven?”
I tried to act unaffected by hearing Matt say the word “hard-on,” but it was difficult. My dad’s godly voice was always in my ear, so my laugh was a forced tee-hee .
“What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked, unsure if my heart was ready for the answer.
He squeezed his empty pop can until it crushed and tossed it into the bin a few feet away. “I’m not sure.”
I laughed. “How can you not know if you have one?” My brain short-circuited into a dreamy monologue:
“Oh, Gabriella, the reason I don’t know is because I haven’t asked you to be my girlfriend yet. For four years, I’ve thought nonstop about you. And now you’re here like a dream. Say you’ll be mine.”
Who needed drugs? Nothing had me tripping like my infatuation with Matthew Cory.
“There’s this girl I’ve been seeing, but she’s thinking of transferring to UCLA because her parents just divorced, and that’s where her mom’s moving. I guess her mom is having a hard time. I’m not excited about a long-distance relationship, and neither is she. So I feel like we’re coming to a slow end if she transfers at the semester.”
“Do you love her?” The words were out before I gave my common sense a second to ponder them.
Matt grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I would have said yes a month ago. We’ve been dating for over a year. And I’m bummed that she’s leaving, but I’m not brokenhearted. So maybe that’s the answer. She thinks baseball is my greatest love, so I’ve clearly done a terrible job of making her feel special.”
I restrained my enthusiasm. “Hmm, maybe God?—”
Ugh!
Was I really on the verge of saying, “Maybe God has other plans for you?”
Yes. I absolutely was.
“I mean,” I cleared my throat. “Maybe it’s a sign. Not necessarily from God. Just like uh … you know, a sign.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking too,” he said.
My back straightened. Were we on the same page? I hoped so.
Matt was so rad, casually leaning back on the bench with his outstretched legs crossed at the ankle. I was a lame, fidgeting mess, having fiddled with the pop can tab until it broke, and my half-eaten bag of chips was nothing but crumbs because I kept channeling my nervous energy into my hands, relentlessly squeezing the bag.
He basked in the autumn breeze, warm sun, and the silence between us while I bounced my leg and gnawed the heck out of my lower lip because the silence killed me. Every passing second felt like the last before he would suggest we head back to my dorm.
“We should grab pizza sometime. We don’t have to talk about Sarah or your parents,” I said. “I could catch you up on all the Devil’s Head gossip. Or you can tell me about playing baseball, before you got hurt, of course. Not like a date or anything, because you have a girlfriend. And?—”
“Most definitely.” Matt saved me from myself.
I froze, unblinking, as if his answer hadn’t registered. “Yes?” I confirmed just above a whisper because anything more would have been an all-out squeal.
“For sure.” He sat up straight, laced his hands behind his head, and stretched side to side. “And just so you know, I’ve talked with my brother and Sarah. Everything’s good. You don’t have to tiptoe around talking about them. And I’m on good terms with my parents too. It’s been four years, Gabby. Time heals.”
“Thank goodness.” I grinned, wiping invisible sweat from my brow.