Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
BELINDA CARLISLE, “I GET WEAK”
Gabby
“Hey!” I skipped down the stairs toward Matt waiting for me, again with his hands in his pockets while walking in a slow circle. I knew if we lasted, I’d always think back to how innocent he looked and the smile he gave me.
“Hey, yourself. You look nice.”
“Thanks.”
“Well, let’s go, friend ,” he said with a smirk while keeping his gaze in front of us as we headed toward his car. That grin said he was still thinking about the previous night; the friend felt like another apology for it happening.
I was okay with being friends for the time being because I liked Julianne, and I couldn’t imagine being opportunistic like Matt’s brother had been with my sister, swooping in like a vulture to take the body while it was still warm. However, I just found out I was really good at kissing, and it was better than having my hair braided, reading, writing in my journal, Air Supply, and rainbow sherbet combined .
While I had no plans of making the first move, I wasn’t going to object to being friends who kissed. That silent confession gave me a jolt of excitement, a taste of the unfamiliar. Was I on the verge of being a rebel? Or was I on the verge of stealing the love of someone else’s life?
We grabbed Subway sandwiches, a movie from Blockbuster, rocky road, and rainbow sherbet. Then we went to Matt’s house to watch Die Hard .
“Where are your roommates?” I asked as Matt pulled our sandwiches from the plastic bag.
“Beats me. They’re only here to sleep for a few hours or they’re throwing a party.” He handed me my sandwich and drink.
I sat on the faded brown leather sofa that faced the TV while Matt put the movie into the VCR. When he turned, our gazes locked. He seemed to study me for a few extra seconds.
“What?” I asked with a nervous laugh.
“Nothing. It’s just you feel so familiar.”
“Is that a good thing?” I popped a pickle into my mouth that had fallen out of my turkey sandwich.
He sat next to me and unrolled his sandwich from the paper. “It is now. I couldn’t wait to get out of Devil’s Head, but seeing you is a reminder that most of my memories from living there and going to school were good.”
“Does Julianne know I’m Sarah’s sister? I mean, did you tell her about you and Sarah or just that I’m a preacher’s daughter?”
He bit into his sandwich and chewed it slowly as the previews played on the TV. “Let’s not talk about Julianne or Sarah. At the moment, I find you far more interesting.”
I wrapped my lips around my straw to hide my grin.
“What’s your thing?”
“My thing?” I asked, setting the drink on the floor between my feet.
“Yeah. Eve ran cross country. Sarah was into music. What do you enjoy doing?”
Planning our wedding.
“I love a good book.”
He chuckled. “Everyone reads. What else?”
No. Everyone didn’t read. Eve read road signs and recipes. That was about it. Sarah read music. I read two to three books a week in high school.
I searched my brain for something besides reading. Clearly, I hadn’t ever given it much thought. Then I realized I had nothing. Was I the world’s most boring person? Was there nothing special about me?
“Well,” I mumbled over a bite of sandwich that I slowly chewed to give myself more time to think. “I write poetry. And I have a good imagination.”
“That’s cool. What else?” He dipped his head to eat his sandwich.
What else? Jeez. Was it a job interview? Did I need a dating resume? Five special talents and three references?
“I’m pretty good at croquet.”
Matt fisted a hand at his mouth and laughed. “I love that about you, Gabby. No one else would say croquet.”
“Well, some of us aren’t singers, cowboys, bakers, baseball players, or future engineers.”
“Oh, no …” He shook his head and cleared his throat while wiping his mouth. “Sorry. That came out all wrong. I wasn’t trying to put you on the spot like that. I’m just trying to get to know you more than just as Sarah’s sister.”
With a shy smile, I glanced over at him. “I’m okay with a hacky sack, but not as good as Ben. Oh! I’m good at Chinese jump rope.”
“Now that’s what I’m talking about. I suck at that.”
“Have you ever even done it?”
Matt cleared his throat. “Sadly, no.”
“Well, I’m pretty good at macramé and latch hook too because we did it with the kids in vacation Bible school.”
“Latch hook …” Matt shook his head and chuckled. “You win.”
I loved his laugh. Matt didn’t hide his feelings, and maybe that came out as impulsive behavior, but it was honest, too.
We finished eating and watched the rest of Die Hard, pausing it halfway through for an ice cream intermission. He didn’t hold my hand or kiss me, and that was fine because every so often I felt his gaze on me. I kept mine on the TV, but my heart pumped a little harder when I knew he was looking at me.
After the movie, he took me back to my dorm and walked me to the door.
“Thanks for giving me a redo,” he said.
I nodded, scraping my teeth over my bottom lip as my nerves hijacked the rest of my body, causing me to shiver like it was twenty below zero instead of sixty degrees.
Then it happened. He bent down to kiss me. It was my time to shine. But his aim was off. His lips touched my cheek, and I turned my head so our lips touched. I waited for him to cradle my face in his hands and move his lips in sync with mine like I did with Ben.
Instead, he stiffened. His aim wasn’t off. He meant to kiss me on the cheek, and I turned it into something else. Or maybe he meant to whisper goodnight in my ear. Gah! What did I do?
“I’m sorry,” I said, taking a quick step backward. “Uh, I didn’t mean to … I mean, I thought you were … oh my gosh. I’m an idiot. Sorry. I just messed up the do-over.” Tucking my chin, I covered my face with my hands. “Jeez, I’m so embarrassed.”
“Gabby, don’t be. Please.”
I dropped my hands and lifted my head. Over his shoulder, a figure headed toward us. I narrowed my eyes until Ben came into view.
“Gabbs,” Ben said, before licking his ice cream cone. He was a mint chip guy.
Matt turned. “Hey! Ben, right?”
Ben smiled. It was obnoxious and fake. “The one and only.”
I held back an eye roll, but mumbled, “There are a billion people named Ben.”
Both men ignored me.
“It’s been a while. Nice to see you again.” Matt was cordial and genuine.
Ben could have learned a few lessons from him. “Yeah, and yet it seems like yesterday because I hear your name so often.”
My friendship with Ben was over, and he would find that out as soon as Matt went home. How dare him call me out like that.
“Is that so?” Matt smirked at me as I ignited into an inferno of embarrassment right there on the sidewalk.
“Well, I suppose not so much anymore since I’m no longer in Devil’s Head, but yeah, you were a legend. The best pitcher our high school had ever seen. So everyone talked about you after you graduated.”
Matt’s back straightened as Ben pumped him full of lies. Sure, kids who played baseball after Matt graduated probably mentioned his name a few times. After all, it wasn’t every day athletes from small-town Missouri got full ride scholarships to big colleges. But Matt wasn’t the talk of the town unless Gabbyville was that town.
“Wow. I had no idea.” Even Matt knew it was highly suspicious.
Ben licked his ice cream and shrugged. “How could you since you moved away and your family did too?”
“Well, I’ll let you get to bed, Gabby. I had fun. See ya around, Ben.”
Ben gave him a little chin lift.
“Goodnight,” I said, feeling conflicted about Ben’s timing.
Did he show up to save me from myself or to prolong further discussion of why I kissed Matt on the lips?
“Did I interrupt?” Ben offered me a lick of his ice cream cone.
I shook my head. “I had rainbow sherbet.”
His eyes widened. “Rainbow sherbet? Whoa. Someone’s trying to get to second base with you again.”
“Shut up.” I dug my key out of my bag while Ben opened the door for me.
I couldn’t help but murmur a soft “thank-you” because even when I was mad at him, I wasn’t really mad at him.
As we headed up the stairs, I waited for him to ask me about my date, an “Oh my gosh, tell me everything!” But Ben wasn’t that kind of best friend.
“How was my night? Oh, thanks for asking. It was nice. I discovered I have no exceptional talents, I’m the only one who finds a good book utterly intriguing, and latch hook and macramé aren’t as attractive as one might have thought.”
“ One might have thought?” He stopped at the door to my floor. “So you’re implying there is at least one person who thought that? Is her name Gabriella Jacobson? And was that your go-to for getting Matt to want to kiss you? Latch hook and macramé?”
“Har, har. Of course not.”
“Oh, thank god.” He pressed his free hand to his chest.
“You’re such a dork.” I grabbed his wrist and shoved his ice cream into his face.
There wasn’t much left, but it was enough to smear it all over his chin, lips, and the tip of his nose. Despite intending to do just that, I was surprised that it worked. I covered my mouth with my hand for a second, eyes wide, as I suppressed a giggle.
Ben narrowed his eyes, and I dropped my hand from my mouth. “Sorry,” I squeaked.
He intentionally let go of the rest of the ice cream cone.
Splat!
I stared at it on the ground for a second. Why did he do that? As I lifted my gaze, he grabbed my face and held it hostage while he smeared the ice cream from his face all over mine.
“Ben!” I grabbed his wrists. “Stop!” I giggled.
He smeared it along my cheeks and mouth, up my nose to my forehead.
“Ben!”
Then he licked it off my face. I couldn’t stop giggling until his tongue swiped along my lips once, twice … and then he kissed me. And I don’t know why, but I kissed him back.
No thoughts.
No reason.
It just felt good.
The ice cream was no longer cold; it was warm, sweet, and sticky between our lips. And he didn’t let go of my face. He gripped it while backing me into the door. I don’t remember when my eyes closed, they just did. Nor do I recall when my lips parted to let the tip of his tongue touch mine. But it happened.
We cleaned every ounce of peanut butter from the proverbial spoon, and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted a second helping.
I wanted the whole jar.
Ben pulled away, leaving me in a puddle just like the ice cream on the floor. For a few seconds, our labored breaths were the only sound in the stairwell as we eyed each other with what felt like confusion and disbelief.
I opened my mouth to speak first, to fill the painfully awkward silence, but someone pushed open the door behind me, giving me a nudge.
“Oh, sorry,” the girl from my floor said, giving us a quick inspection and grinning before jogging down the stairs.
What had we done, and what did it mean?
I caved first, tearing my gaze away from his and making a beeline for my dorm room.
“Gabby,” he called, but didn’t chase me.
I was grateful for that because my brain was ready to explode from the lack of mental capacity to deal with kissing my best friend like that. Before I unlocked the door, I rested my forehead against it and fought back the tears.
I kissed my best friend for real, not for practice, and I liked it so much I could hardly breathe. Ben was my anchor, my protector, and my common sense when I went out of my mind. We couldn’t cross that line and put our friendship in jeopardy.
What did we do?
My heart ached.
That kiss ripped open something inside of me, and it felt like I was bleeding feelings for Ben that I buried years earlier after he rejected me and went on to sleep with random girls.
That kiss knocked the wind out of me and left me gasping like waking from a dream so real, it felt like reality.
Was Matt nothing more than a dream?
“Hey! How was your date? Oh, my gosh. What happened to you?” Olivia sat up on her bed and set her book aside when I opened the door.
I touched my fingertips to my lips. Were they swollen? They felt like it. That was the kiss of all kisses.
“Did Matt come on your face?”
“What?” I wrinkled my nose.
“What are those dark spots?”
I looked in the mirror. There were tiny pieces of chocolate on my face. As I picked them off, I opened my mouth to tell her that Ben smeared his ice cream on my face, but that would have only been a half truth. The whole truth was, I didn’t want to say his name in front of her or tell anyone what happened.
Except Ben.
I wanted to tell my best friend that a guy kissed me, and it was everything and a million times more than what I ever imagined a kiss could be. That kiss reached far beyond my lips. I felt it everywhere.
“We got into an ice cream fight,” I murmured.
“Oh my god! That sounds sexy.”
“Yeah,” I whispered to myself. “It was.”