Chapter Thirty-Four Blake
Chapter Thirty-Four
Blake
When I woke, the night came back to me. I froze.
Creighton was always gone in the mornings, but last night was different. I lifted my head and looked over, and he was there. Relief flooded me, which made me feel embarrassed. I ducked my head, but I was happy he was here.
He was sitting up, back resting against the headboard, those dead eyes not missing anything. “I brought you coffee.”
“Oh.” It was on the nightstand. I sat up, sitting cross-legged so I was facing him. The coffee was hot. “When did you make this?”
“Earlier. It got cold, so I made another pot. I know you like your coffee.”
I frowned. “How long have you been awake?”
“I never went to sleep.”
I choked on the sip of coffee I just took. “What?”
“I don’t need a lot of sleep. You know this.”
I blinked a few times. “I mean, I knew that. But that was back . . .” When I was in high school. “I guess I just haven’t thought about it. So, wait. Every time you came here, you didn’t sleep?”
“A few hours.”
I groaned. “I wish I had that problem.”
“How are you feeling?”
I’d taken another sip, my eyes jumping back to him.
Man. With no sleep, he still looked good.
He was in his clothes minus his sweatshirt because I was wearing that.
His hair was wet, so he must’ve showered.
There was no emotion in his gaze, but he was watching my every move intently.
“I’m . . .” I wiggled a little on the bed. “I’ll be fine today.”
He stared a little longer before motioning to the door. “Go to the bathroom.”
I snorted. “Bossy much?”
“Yes.” He was deadpan.
I suppressed a sigh. I’d lost my virginity last night.
Some people lost it early in life, or during high school.
Maybe I’d always waited because I knew Creighton’s reaction to the guy that would’ve hurt me in that way, even though it would’ve been unavoidable.
It wasn’t the first time I wished Creighton understood emotions, but I really wished that morning.
A part of me, where I was shy and self-conscious and feeling a little raw, wished that he would just know what to do for me.
Like cuddling this morning. A hug. A forehead kiss.
But I contemplated the mug in my hand as I slipped out the door.
He made me coffee, and when the first pot went cold, he made me another.
And he stayed. He was taking care of me. In a nonviolent way. That was progress.
Palma’s door was still closed when I went past. Checking the time on our kitchenette’s microwave, I saw it was a little after six. Everyone would start getting up soon.
After using the toilet, I hopped into the shower. I didn’t look in the mirror until I was brushing my teeth, and I paused.
Had I made a mistake last night?
Did I look different? I had sex for the first time my senior year of college. Did that make me normal? Abnormal? It was a big moment. I’d no longer be someone who hadn’t had sex. After today, I was like everyone else. Right?
And I lost it to Creighton.
My hands shook as I rinsed off my toothbrush. Putting it away, I went through the motions of getting ready for the day, but my mind was racing.
Was it all a colossal mistake?
Would he be worse?
Would he kill anyone who even breathed wrong in my direction?
My hands shook even harder.
I couldn’t let that happen. Who was I kidding, though? No one controlled Creighton. I came the closest, but there were limitations to that control.
He hadn’t moved when I returned. He tracked me as I moved around the room, slipping on some clothes. I pulled his sweatshirt back on. I was loath to part with it.
It was Friday so I had three classes to go to today.
I didn’t bother with socks or my shoes, sliding back into bed with Creighton.
There was a new mug of coffee on my nightstand. I reached for it, feeling it was warm. “You made a third pot?”
He just continued to watch me with no emotion. “I want to make sure your morning is good.”
I paused, taking him in for a moment. Warmth filled me. I left the coffee where it was and moved to him, cupping the side of his face.
He reached for me, pulling me to straddle his lap.
I was suddenly up close and personal with him again, and somehow it seemed awkward. I’d never experienced this feeling with Creighton. My mouth twitched. He skimmed his hands up my arms before one palmed the front of my throat.
I went still.
He didn’t pull me to him, and he didn’t tighten his hold. It wasn’t painful. It was possessive.
“I can’t read you. You’re all over the place.” His hand shifted as he said that, two of his fingers resting over my pulse.
I further relaxed, the little awkwardness melting out of me. He was the same. “This is just new for us. That’s all. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. I mean, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“We aren’t?”
I frowned. “Uh . . .”
“Is that what you want?”
I blinked. “What?”
“What do you need? I could pretend to be the normal boyfriend, but you’d get angry. You’d know I was faking, so I’m being myself. But is that what you want?”
And that made me a little sad. It was a reminder that I would never get what was normal. And also sad at myself for making him think he needed to be fake for me.
“I don’t want you to be anyone other than yourself.”
Something flicked in his eyes. It was so fast, I couldn’t place it, but then he was pulling me to him. I rested my hands to his chest, and without thinking, I maneuvered my hands so they were resting over his heart as well. Our lips met. It was sweet. Tender. Completely surprising.
He didn’t deepen it, seemingly content to continue a gentle exploration.
It felt good. The warmth spread through me, and before long, I sank down into him.
My hands twined around his neck, and I strained against him, wanting to get as close as possible.
His other hand fell to my hip, sliding over it before moving to my waist. He slipped underneath my shirt, moved to my back, and he lifted me up once more to readjust us.
As I was brought back down on him, I felt his hard-on, and I rolled over it.
I moaned at the pleasure that ricocheted in me. That felt so good.
My heart was pumping.
I asked against his lips, “Is it always like this? Or is it like this because it’s you?”
He froze against my mouth. His hand tightened for a fraction on my throat. He lifted my head away from his and growled. “You’re thinking about trying this with others?”
Some of the lust fell away. “What? No.”
Oh.
I held still for a beat. He was pissed.
I lifted a hand to cup the side of his face.
“No. Eight. I was wondering if this is normal? How it is between you and me.” I shifted on his lap, putting some space between us.
His hand remained on my throat, but his other rested on my thigh.
“I’ve always heard that when a girl loses her virginity, it’s sometimes not the greatest experience.
You know?” My neck got hot. Of course, he wouldn’t know. “Never mind.”
His hand tightened as he pulled me back to him.
I rested my hands against his chest.
He didn’t stop until my mouth grazed over his, and he said, “I’m aware that I can’t give you a lot of experiences that others will have in their lives.
I won’t apologize for that. You made your decision last night, and I know you.
You are thoughtful and methodical. You are not impulsive.
You made a choice last night, and you chose me.
To answer your question, does it matter?
I have no intention of letting you find out for yourself. If you touch another man—”
I jerked away. “You’ll what?”
He stared at me for a moment before he flipped us. Suddenly I was on my back and he was over me. His hand slid down my throat, pressing against my chest. He was coiled tight. All six three of him, as his hips bore down against mine.
“I’m waiting.” I jerked my head up, almost butting against his. “You’ll what, Creighton?”
His eyes were narrowed to slits. “I will gut any man who touches you. If he looks at you, I’ll put him in a coma. If they think about what it’s like to touch what is mine, I will make them regret it. Each.” He growled. “And every single man because you are mine.”
God. Fuck him.
That should’ve made me cold, but it had the opposite effect.
I wanted him all over again. My legs wrapped around his waist, pinning him to me. This wasn’t smart. I knew that. Further giving into this hold he had over me, I was beyond caring.
I shoved at his shirt, panting. “Off. Now.”
He yanked his shirt off and tore at his sweatshirt on me.
As soon as both were off, he shoved his hand inside of my leggings, his hand finding my clit.
He breathed deep against my mouth before a groan tore from him. His mouth fell to my throat.
He was circling me before rubbing against my clit. “Are you sore?”
He lifted his head, beginning to pull his hand out.
I caught it and shoved it back. “I can handle it. Not the full throttle, but you know.” I pressed his hand back between my legs to make sure he got my point.
His eyes darkened and he circled around my clit. “You’re wet. That’s for me. Isn’t it?”
I was a wreck.
He saw me. He saw it all, and a cold triumphant look flared in his eyes before his mouth lowered to my ear. He said there, rough, as his hand moved back between my legs, “You don’t know what you just gave me. This is mine, isn’t it?” Two of his fingers slid inside of me. “This pussy.”
I gasped, reaching for his wrist. Wrapping my fingers around him, I held on, but I didn’t pull him out.
“But don’t worry because I will treat you well.
I’ll make you moan and scream. I’ll make you beg me to let you come as I draw out every climax that I’ll give you.
I’ll give you so many. Your body already knows who it belongs to, doesn’t it?
You’re going to just see me and your legs will weaken. How does that sound?”
He was plunging inside of me. It felt so good. Sooo good.
I knew the answer to my original question. I knew it in the back of my mind. This wasn’t normal. This was because it was Creighton and only Creighton, and I opened my eyes, seeing him through the blur of what he was doing to my body.
He lifted his head, watching me back. His eyes were so dark and vast. A void was there, but I reached up, touching my fingertips to his cheek because that was my void now. All mine.
I was letting out a new monster, one I’d never seen before, but I couldn’t think about that now. Not as he was wrecking my body with the type of pleasure that I knew was wrong to feel this good.
I exploded, my body arching up against him, and I cried out from the intensity of my release. It hit me hard, pounding through me.
Creighton watched, helping me settle back down.
One of my hands rested on his bicep, needing to touch him. The other went to his chest.
He remained above me. Our gazes were locked.
He was searching me for something. I waited, until he pulled his fingers out, then he suddenly sat up over me.
His legs were on either side of me, and he was breathing harshly.
He put those fingers in his mouth, taking his time as he cleaned them up.
When he was done, a smug grin curved over his face.
“Thinking I just discovered a new favorite snack.”
Air left me. “Creight.”
My heart was still stampeding out of my chest. I was in a puddle, boneless and content at his feet. His next words should’ve chilled me.
“You’re mine now, Blake. In every way.”
They didn’t. They sent my pulse soaring all over again.
This was so not good.