Chapter 20
SEA brEEZE
“Captain Graham, are ye waitin’ for someone?” Kenneth asked, determinedly crossing the hill.
On the other side, he could smell the sea. The salty breeze that blew toward him in gentle ripples as the afternoon gradually faded into reds and golds.
The man in front of him turned and met his gaze. He looked frightened—obviously, he had reason to be, having been caught in the act.
But even though Kenneth had a reason to be upset, he was not. At least, not with the captain.
Peter Graham was watching him, slightly disturbed. With the bushy beard and sun-tanned skin, his face looked as grim as Kenneth’s expression.
“Laird MacReid…” the captain began.
Kenneth clicked his tongue. “Kenneth’s fine,” he replied, holding out his hand and saluting the man.
The captain smiled at him. “Then Peter’s good for ye,” he joked.
Kenneth smiled back.
They were both standing on a hill overlooking the calm surf that preceded the night. From this position, Kenneth could feel the sea breeze clearing his lungs.
Hunter is right. It is the sea. It does have a certain healin’ power.
His reasoning, however, was overshadowed by the anger still burning inside him.
Even if his intentions had been good, Peter had put Hunter in danger by asking him to meet at night. Especially since he knew that the boy was Kenneth’s only weakness.
That certainty, the certainty of guilt, must have been etched on his face, for Peter shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. “I should never have promised ye that I would keep away from the boy.”
“But ye did,” Kenneth reminded him, bitterness creeping into his words. “Ye promised. And yet here we are.” He extended his arms as if to encompass the surrounding space.
Peter hung his head, his eyes trained on the ground. He was the picture of regret.
“There are few times when I cannae keep me promises, but, believe it or nae, I am proud to say that this isnae one of them.” His gaze, calm and dignified, rested on Kenneth. “I have never had bad intentions, ye ken that. I’ve loved the boy like a son ever since ye both joined me crew.”
“I ken. But we agreed this wouldnae happen.” Kenneth took a step toward him. “Ye put him in danger by askin’ him to come all this way. Alone.”
“Hunter’s a smart kid,” Peter assured him in the same impassive tone. But Kenneth could detect some doubt, as well as a hint of guilt. “We plotted a course together so he wouldnae be in danger, and we only met when the conditions allowed.”
“What about his illness?” Kenneth asked, raising his eyebrows at him. “What about the days when he was so ill that venturin’ outside the castle was a risk for him? Did ye take that into account?”
“I… He didnae tell me he was ill. Neither did ye,” Peter said.
Kenneth nodded. He clicked his tongue once and looked seriously at the captain. “Well, I’m tellin’ ye now. It was always a secret between me and Hunter. I did it to ensure his well-being, but me braither was born sickly. That was why me faither threatened to kill him in the first place.”
“I… suspected it. I had the impression that somethin’ was wrong with him,” Peter whispered dejectedly.
“Is that why ye gave him those candies? To ease his discomfort?”
Peter shrugged. “He looked weak at times, and me maither used to give me those candies as a medicine when I was a boy. I thought they couldnae hurt him.”
“Well, ye were right. The truth is that they have made him feel better at times. It’s good for him to eat them. It eases his discomfort.”
“All right. That’s good to ken. I would never do anything to hurt the boy, Kenneth. Ye need to ken that.”
The captain’s gaze held steady, unwavering in its conviction.
No flicker of hesitation, no trace of artifice clouded his expression—just the raw certainty of a man who spoke nothing but truth.
Kenneth studied him for a moment longer, waiting for the telltale sign of deceit.
There was none. His jaw eased slightly, the weight of doubt loosening its grip.
He also understood that it had been selfish of him to ask the man to stay away from Hunter once they both set foot on dry land again. But at the time, he had thought it the best way to protect his brother.
Selfishly, he had thought that Hunter’s affection for the captain was fleeting.
That it would pass like the years, the way other children forgot toys or places that made them happy.
He had hoped that in this way, he could save him from the bitterness of losing another loved one.
Although he had obviously been wrong about that, he only realized it now.
“I want ye to ken that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what happened,” Peter murmured, running his hands through his long, braided hair.
“I would never do anythin’ to hurt the boy.
I just wanted to see him…” A bitter chuckle escaped his lips.
“By the gods, I even considered becomin’ a farmer just so I could see him more! ”
Kenneth let out a laugh. “An old sea dog like yerself cannae be a farmer,” he snorted as he plopped down on a nearby rock and stared at the sea.
It was not long before Peter joined him, shaking his head. “Maybe I’ve been selfish all this time, askin’ him to come here. I put him in danger… And maybe it’s best if I leave, never to return.”
“Maybe ye can do that… but then who will take care of Hunter from now on when he goes out for his daily walks on the beach?” Kenneth asked, a hint of sarcasm and amusement in his voice.
Peter’s eyes widened with surprise. “Will he come every day? Are ye serious?”
“Aye,” Kenneth confirmed, nodding once. “The healer who’s been takin’ care of him claims that the sea breeze and those candies ye gave him are the reason he’s gettin’ better.
” Then, with a grimace, he added, “Ye’ll have to give me some, and get me some of those flowers…
The sea holly. She says she can make a remedy, so Hunter willnae get sick anymore.
But he has to come to the beach every day to be cured. ”
“God, it wasnae so wrong of me to insist on seein’ him, after all!” The pirate laughed.
Kenneth smiled. “Aye. But daenae gloat too much. Ye put him in danger, and one day I’ll collect that debt from ye.”
“Sure, sure.” Peter couldn’t help but snort. “I’ll clean the excrement out of yer stables, oh great laird, as long as it takes. As long as I can see the boy, I’m happy.”
“Good. I’m glad ye feel that way,” Kenneth said, nodding.
“The healer ye speak of… ye mean Leana, daenae ye?”
“Ye ken her?” Kenneth asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Nae really. Hunter keeps mentionin’ her these days.” An affectionate smile curved Peter’s lips. “He says he’d make a good uncle to any children ye have with her.”
“A good uncle?” Kenneth clicked his tongue and shook his head. “That boy has a wild imagination.”
“Why?” Peter asked amusedly. “Even I can tell that somethin’ has changed in ye. Maybe he’s nae wrong. That woman could make a good wife.”
“For that, she would have to want to marry—which she doesnae,” Kenneth tried in an indifferent tone. And yet the words stung. “If she has to choose between a husband and her duty as a healer, she’ll probably choose the latter.”
“Bah, the way I see it, she daenae even have to choose one or the other.” Peter waved a dismissive hand as if he was swatting away a fly. “Who says she cannae do both? If her husband understands her duty…” he trailed off, letting the unspoken words hang between them.
Kenneth’s annoyance flared. When had his desires become so obvious to everyone?
Of course, it could be because he and Peter had known each other for a long time. They were friends, and in many ways, the pirate had been a father to Kenneth. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t make Kenneth uncomfortable to hear the man openly assume that he wanted to marry Leana.
Not that he didn’t want to, of course. It was only now when he understood that he had to let her go. Only now when he understood how much he wanted her to stay with him, by his side.
But that did not change the situation. On the contrary, it made it worse, and the certainty of that truth annoyed him.
“Ye very hastily assume that there might be somethin’ between us, which is nae true. Besides, the lass has the right to decide what to do with her life. And I already have an heir.”
“But is it only about an heir?” Peter asked, raising a thick eyebrow. “What about love?”
The question surprised Kenneth. He opened his mouth to deny everything. To say that this was nothing but nonsense.
Except he suddenly realized that maybe it wasn’t.
Maybe all this time, he had underestimated the strong impact the healer had made on him. The way she was, the way she acted… the way she challenged him, and the cunning of her words, as well as the sweetness of her kisses.
Suddenly, he realized that maybe, just maybe, he felt more than just desire for her. And that frightened him. For her departure would affect him far more than he had initially expected.
The revelation hit Kenneth like a bucket of cold water. At the same time, Peter watched him, studying the feelings dancing across his face.
Finally, after a long, tense silence, Kenneth dared to ask, “Ye think people like us are capable of love, Captain?”
He wondered if that was even allowed. In his world, love was nothing more than a fantasy. People married for convenience, for power, for money. But not for love.
For the same reason, it bothered him to think of Leana that way.
It went so far as to upend much of what he had always taken for granted.
His entire adult life had revolved around Hunter’s well-being and safety.
He’d never had any doubts about making him his heir, so marriage wasn’t something that had ever crossed his mind.
“I daenae ken, Kenneth. Ye’re a much smarter man than I am. What do ye think?” Peter asked.
Kenneth sighed. “I think I have too much on me plate right now,” he muttered bitterly. “Tryin’ to be there for me braither is trouble enough. I cannae afford to think about love.”
“Yer love for yer braither is admirable,” Peter conceded. “But it isnae limited, Kenneth. This may be a new lesson for ye, but love and duty can sometimes go hand in hand.”
“I daenae ken if that’s the case for me,” Kenneth said.
Peter nodded slowly. “Finding out that I loved Hunter as if he were me own flesh and blood was a surprise to me as well. One that made me question me duty to me ship,” Peter admitted as he stared at the horizon.
“But in the end, I understood that life is just an empty well if we daenae feed the fire that warms our hearts.”
Kenneth chuckled. “When did ye become so poetic?”
“And ye, since when are ye fool enough to admit how ye feel?” Peter retorted.
Kenneth shook his head. “I daenae ken.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m goin’ from one problem to another. I just want Hunter to be well…”
And Leana to be happy. With me.
That thought kept echoing in his mind, but he did not voice it.
“For now, ye may rest assured that ye have me agreement on the matter of Hunter,” Peter assured him. “Me intentions are clear. I want to see the boy. But I’ll make sure there’s nay trouble with yer people.”
“All right, then,” Kenneth replied, nodding once.
“Ye ken, boy…” Peter added after a moment.
Kenneth smiled. No matter how many years had passed, the captain had never stopped calling him that. But he didn’t care.
“Hunter might nae be the only one who could use a little salt water in his life.”
“What do ye mean?” Kenneth asked with a frown.
“I mean, I never saw ye so tight-lipped when ye were sailin’ the high seas with me.”
“Maybe I wasnae.” Kenneth shrugged. “Life was so much easier back then.”
“Maybe it can be again,” Peter ventured, giving him a smile as he patted his back and stood up. “What do ye say ye join me for a little sail? We’ll take a ride along the coast. Maybe ye’ll clear yer head of so many thoughts and worries.”
Smiling to himself, Kenneth nodded. “Maybe that’s nae a bad idea.”
“Of course nae,” Peter said, laughing. “The sea and the salty breeze can cure everythin’. Or almost everythin’.”
Kenneth stood up. “Just this once, Captain, I guess ye’re right,” he drawled, smiling as he followed the Old Sea Wolf back to the ship.
His heart longed for answers. He wanted many things, he suddenly realized, but he knew that the fulfillment of his desires did not depend on him, but on a woman who was willing to leave him behind.
So, at least for a while, he decided to forget everything, to leave the pain and the worry behind, and to focus instead on what was right in front of him.
That breathtaking sunset, with the sea breeze coming up the hill, and the promise of a little adventure that would hopefully erase the grief in his heart long enough to make him forget that there had ever been such a thing as his feelings for Leana Beaton.