Chapter 15
Awhile later, Eliza and I walked through the quiet Paris streets. The sun was almost set, the last rays gripping the sky with all their might. Inevitably, the dark would consume them; it was only a matter of time.
“Why do you keep saying ‘yes’ to me?” Eliza asked, tracing her fingers along the building we walked near.
I shrugged, my mind partially clouded by the six glasses of wine I’d consumed that evening. “I keep trying to figure that out myself.” I took a deep breath. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”
Eliza raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Are you saying you love me?”
“God, no,” I snorted, shaking my head. Something dark flashed on her face too quickly for me to register, and I continued. “I believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason. I think you and I were meant to meet—though I don’t know why. Maybe you need someone to show you how to stand again, or maybe I need someone to remind me that finding someone new isn’t as terrifying as I was beginning to believe it was.”
Eliza let out a long breath. “I’m not sure I believe that, but it’s a nice thought.” She was quiet for a moment before she continued. “What do you mean by finding someone new?”
I drew in a breath. “While some vampires prefer to remain constantly moving or to exist in huge cities like this where no one will ever look twice at them, I prefer to settle down and build a home—someplace I can stay, call my own, and have friends, sometimes even a family. Unfortunately, that life comes with so many goodbyes I can’t count them all. There will always be someone who notices I never age, never get sick—you know.”
I brushed my hands on my thighs before continuing, aware that I hadn’t even told this to Willa and Addie yet. “In November, my brother asked me to move to Paris to be with him, his girlfriend, and Willa. My choice wasn’t a choice at all, because my boyfriend was asking questions. I left while he was asleep.”
“Why do you live like that if you’re only going to end up hurt?” she asked. There was no accusation in her tone, only genuine curiosity.
I kept my eyes forward to hide the tears welling in them. “Because I crave connection. I long to know I mean something to someone, even if it’s for a brief time—even if it hurts.”
Eliza sighed. “Look at us, a pair of broken-hearted vampires.”
I held up my pinky finger with a tired smile. “At least we’re not alone.”
Something shifted between us when Eliza hooked her pinky through mine. Her eyes were as soft as an ocean breeze, bearing into mine like there was nowhere else she’d rather look. My heart swelled into my throat, making me feel like it would stop beating if either of us moved. The gentleness in her eyes was what I’d been looking for since the first moment I saw her in the Louvre—the real Eliza. Not the one marred by pain, or patching her scars, the one she’d lost when she left her family behind.
If this was the Eliza waiting for me behind her wall of thorns, I wanted to tear it down and rebuild her in a temple of gold.
This was the Eliza I could fall in love with.
“What are you thinking about?” Eliza asked, tilting her head.
“You,” I said simply.
Eliza drew in a breath. Her heartbeat increased as a blush rose on her cheeks. I liked the sight of it. “What about me?”
I licked my lips and smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I would.” Eliza held fast, tightening her grip on my finger when I tried to move.
I slipped away with a chuckle, skipping a couple steps ahead to continue our walk. Eliza scoffed in disbelief before catching up to me. Once her steps fell into unison with mine, I offered her a smile.
“Why’d you pick Paris?” I asked.
“It seemed as good a place as any to be miserable.”
I frowned. “You won’t be miserable forever.”
My words were meant to be reassuring. Eliza only shrugged. “What does it matter if I am? I don’t have a family to care about me anyway.”
Some of my enchantment faded. Her words left a sour taste in my mouth. “So, what then?” My voice came out a little sharper than it had before. “You’re going to mope around beautiful places without appreciating any of it because you’re too focused on what you don’t have to appreciate what you do?”
Eliza spun toward me. “Where do you get off thinking you know me well enough to question that?”
There it was, the change I’d been waiting for all evening; she’d become the Eliza she was pretending to be to protect herself. I tossed my hands in annoyance. “I want to know you, Eliza. But I refuse to be spun around in this stupid game you’re playing. Are you going to be nice to me, or aren’t you? Believe it or not, I know a little about living forever, and I know a lot about pain. Focusing on your loss and what’s hurting you is easy, but-”
She interrupted me. “I didn’t ask.”
I clamped my mouth shut, stunned at her sudden and overwhelming mood shift. “What?”
“I didn’t ask for advice on how I’m dealing with my situation,” she said, stone-cold.
Confused and dazed, I looked between where we’d been standing with our pinkies intertwined to where we stood now, baffled at how much had changed in less than a dozen steps. Whatever attraction I’d felt for her eleven steps ago was entirely gone. I was back to feeling like she’d dumped ice water over my head and left me out in the cold.
“I’m sorry,” I started. “I didn’t intend-”
“I mean, do you think I need help? Do you think that’s why I asked you out tonight? So we could spend the night talking about our feelings?” She prattled on, each word meaner than the last.
I sucked in a breath and stepped back. “I thought you asked me for a drink to apologize. And then I thought we were… well, I thought we were being friends.”
Eliza’s lip curled. “I don’t want to be friends with someone who thinks I’m a charity case.”
“I don’t-”
Again, she interrupted. “You know what, fine. You won’t be seeing me again. Goodbye, Sophie.”
I didn’t even try to go after her.