Calla
WEARING A MASK OF CONFIDENCE WAS EXHAUSTING.
I TRIED TO keep my back straight, my chin high as we toured the new mill at the center of the little village of Hanstock.
Half a day’s ride from Olmdere City, the town had been hit hard by Sawyn’s reign.
The blight had only eased in the last year.
Magic was returning to the soil, the earth was healing, but still, the scars upon the town were clear.
I moved with the keen sense of being watched by the hundreds of townspeople who followed me through the village, being guided by their village elders.
Grae stood close to my side, closer since I told my guards to stay with the carriages.
Grae had protested but I’d insisted. These people—our people—were traumatized and barely healing.
The last thing they needed was a show of force.
I was there to serve them, not the other way around, and if another war was coming, I needed their good favor.
We might be staring into the face of lean times again.
“The stonework is lovely,” I said mildly to the elderly woman who walked beside me.
“It is, Your Majesty,” she replied, looking proudly at the spiraling stone mosaics. “It is thanks to your trade with Taigos that we were able to build it. The rations have been keeping us going during the rebuild. It has been a long time since we haven’t feared for an empty belly.”
I tried to conceal my pained expression, wishing I had some of Briar’s talent for hiding her unease. The rations from Taigos had been supplied before Queen Ingrid betrayed us . . . before I killed her. I doubted there would be any such supplies coming from the Ice Wolves in the future.
But instead of voicing any of those fears, I smiled and said, “I’m glad of it.”
Soon the fields would be bountiful with crops again. Soon we wouldn’t need any alliances to fill our bellies. Soon . . . I prayed it would be enough. But that was if the Ice Wolves didn’t bang down our door in retaliation. Let alone Nero, who had already vowed to claim Olmdere for himself.
Meanwhile, more and more humans found their way to our shores .
. . the ones who survived their passage from Damrienn.
And I knew there was a whole mountain of dead bodies still lying on its beaches and littering its waters.
Nero seemed content to wipe out the humans completely.
Our enemies were only growing, and every day I wondered if I should blockade the golden forests of Sevelde just as Sawyn once had.
And if I did . . . was I any better of a ruler for these people than a sorceress?
My eyes drifted through the crowd, finding some of the Damrienn refugees amongst them.
Many had stayed close to the city, but others with agricultural skills had settled farther from the capital.
More mouths we needed to feed and potentially many more coming.
What good was this safe haven I promised them if I couldn’t feed them?
All of the things I wanted to be and all of the things I was had never felt so incongruous.
“I think we should go out for a hunt tonight,” Grae murmured beside me so quietly only I could hear.
I let out a little hum of agreement. We’d donate a few stags to the village after our visit. It would feed the people and get some of our aggression out.
Grae’s hand found the small of my back and I lowered my shoulders at his touch.
When we finished the tour of the grain silos, we stopped at the steps of the mill that looked out over the town’s population.
Everyone waited in silence, looking at me, and I knew I was expected to say a few words.
If only Vellia had taken some time to teach me to string a sentence together during all of our fight training.
I cleared my throat.
“I never knew my parents, the late King and Queen of Olmdere,” I began, much to the surprise of the crowd. “But many of you did.” I searched the weathered faces that nodded knowingly as I spoke. “It is said they were good people, just and fair people. But those stories were taught to me by Wolves.”
The crowd looked confused as I continued.
“I am only now beginning to learn who my family was outside the stories we tell amongst ourselves. Much of what I see in my past brings me pride and much brings me shame. And all I’m left to do with that is forge a new path ahead,” I said to the murmurings of the crowd.
“Many of you know of what I am, many of you also claim this word ‘merem.’ It is, after all, a human word. With the river, carving its own path. That is what we all must be now. Finding a better way into the future than our predecessors. One in which we are all given a chance at safety and comfort and joy. One where ambition isn’t only for those who sit on thrones with coffers filled with gold.
” The crowd voiced their agreement louder now and Grae took a step in toward me.
My voice rose to be heard over the buzzing din.
I unbuttoned the top three buttons of my tunic, baring the golden scars across my chest, knowing that they spoke louder than any uttered promise.
“I will fight for that future with my life!” I shouted to the cheers of the crowd.
“I vow that we will all know that future within our lifetimes. I will give everything to make it so.” The crowd erupted into cheers.
“For Olmdere!”
“For Olmdere!” they shouted back, touching their fingers to their chests, lips, eyes in prayer before lifting their chins skyward—an amalgamation of the Wolf and human prayers, a prayer for us all.
I stood there, letting their cheers and prayers wash over me, trying not to cry.
I felt unworthy of it. I knew I could show no fear, no emotion, just the confidence that we would succeed.
Right then, I needed to be the symbol these people were so desperate for, the parent who hid their own fears, the guard dog who protected the flock.
But one day I hoped I could be Calla and not just the symbol of the crown.
Once wars were won, once borders were safe, maybe then I could find a way to be both true to myself and true to them.
But there was still a fight ahead. There could be no room for doubt.
I was determined my promises for peace and prosperity wouldn’t be hollow.
“You’re too good at that, little fox,” Grae murmured from the corner of his mouth as we wandered back through the village, shaking hands until the crowds thinned. We arrived back to the awaiting carriage circled by bored-looking guards.
I paused at the open door and turned to Grae. “I think it’s time to send Ora southward,” I said. “If I’m to protect our people without bringing violence to their doorstep, we need the Songkeepers. Ora will do more good helping their sect than comforting me anyway.”
I knew it had been selfish, keeping Ora with me as a courtier when the leader of Galen den’ Mora was born to roam.
Sensing how much I needed them, Ora had stayed, holding that space for me with their quiet songs while they recovered from their Damrienn imprisonment.
I wanted their counsel—the most well-traveled human to have ever existed, the most magical too.
They had insights unlike any others. But Ora was healed now. It was time to let them go.
Grae made a grunt of agreement. “I have been in contact with a fisherman who will give them safe passage to the south of Damrienn to meet up with Sadie and the others,” Grae said.
I gave him a skeptical look and he shrugged.
“I knew you’d reach this conclusion eventually.
Ora is needed with Galen den’ Mora.” He leaned in and brushed a kiss to my temple.
“But I didn’t want to rush you, Your Majesty. ”
The way his lips lingered on my skin had my eyes fluttering closed. I took a decisive step away and he chuckled.
“We have much to do,” I declared, finally stepping inside the carriage.
“One day,” my mate murmured, “we are going to have a honeymoon.”
I glared at him. “One day, we’ll have the wedding and the fanfare and the time to be just you and me,” I vowed. “But we have to save the continent first.”
Grae let out a slow breath through his nose, one cheek dimpling. “Oh, is that all?”
THERE WAS NOTHING QUITE LIKE THE STEADY WARMTH OF ORA’S hugs. I didn’t want to let go. Salty brine misted the air as the choppy waves slapped against the weatherworn docks.
Ora cupped my cheeks, a smile on their painted red lips. They looked at me like they saw all of me, like they saw who I was and who I would become and were just patiently waiting for me to arrive there myself.
I didn’t want to give that up, the assurance I felt when they were near. But I knew I could do it on my own now. I knew who I was. And as much as I hoped I’d always have Ora’s guidance, the world wouldn’t pause long enough for me to be strong, so I had to be strong now.
“Safe journey,” I croaked, trying to keep my eyes from welling, but I could no sooner cut a river with a sword.
“Be well, my Queen,” they said with a little bow of their head, finally releasing me. “Let us sing a better world into existence.” They took a step back toward the awaiting fishing boat, their eyes dipping to the lightning scars and then back to meet my gaze. “Let us bathe the future in gold.”
I could only nod; any more words would make me blubber. Ora turned and passed their hefty fabric bag to the captain and then took a gruff sailor’s hand to lift their heavy velvet skirts and climb aboard.
Grae was by my side in an instant, pulling me into his broad chest with a squeeze, knowing exactly how hard it was for me to say goodbye.
Ora began to sing as the boat pulled away from the docks.
Watching me with a soft smile, “Sa Sortienna” filled the air between us.
“Above the golden trees”—a song that meant they would miss Olmdere, that they would miss me.
I watched with tear-filled eyes, voicelessly mouthing the words until I couldn’t hear their singing anymore.
Sweet Moon, protect them. I’d paid the captain a sizable amount of gold to steer far from Damrienn shores until they’d passed Highwick and the leering Silver Wolf eyes.
“The Silver Wolves don’t have a naval force,” Grae said in a low, rough voice, reassuring me for what felt like the hundredth time. “If they stick to the horizon, they will be fine.”
“But what if there’s a storm? What if—”
Grae pulled me tight again. “They will make it. Their songs are more powerful than we know. Navin survived falling from the sky with the power of song alone.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed to the Moon Goddess to fight back any storms, to grant that boat safe passage.
We needed Ora to be with the Songkeepers, needed their guidance and wisdom to pull them through this war.
If they could control a fleet of monsters .
. . It would have to work. After my latest contact with Sadie, I knew the humans of Damrienn wouldn’t survive much longer if we didn’t move fast. The longer Nero gained a foothold in the other courts, the longer he let them unravel into disarray, the easier it would be for him to take the whole continent.
We stood there, wind whipping our hair and salty air lashing our faces until the boat turned into a blur on the horizon. I blinked and blinked, trying to find it again.
Grae let out a long sigh. “One day,” he murmured, kissing my hair.
And I knew all the things he wanted to say before he even said them. One day these goodbyes wouldn’t be so hard, one day we wouldn’t have to fear if we’d ever see each other again, one day there would be peace, one day we’d live in the future I had fought for with all my soul.
“One day,” I whispered back, gripping on to my mate just as tightly.