Chapter 43
FORTY-THREE
Jodi arrived an hour later, not to Shaun’s surprise.
Lowering her small frame onto the bed next to Shaun, she tucked a stray strand of hair behind Shaun’s ear.
She knew her face was tear-streaked and blotchy, her nose running, box of tissues sitting on the comforter next to her.
One look into Jodi’s eyes and she started crying all over again, sobs wracking her already battered and bruised body.
When she had finally cried herself out, she swiped her hands over her face pathetically, then stacked her hands beneath her cheek as she lay facing her sister, who had let her cry without interruption.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly, rubbing her hand over Shaun’s shoulder and down her arm. Of course Kasey would have told Freeman already, who couldn’t keep a single damn secret from his new wife. Meddlers, all of them.
Shaun shrugged, swallowing hard. “I don’t know.
I was struggling with the news; I didn’t want anyone to know.
I don’t want Mom and Dad to be disappointed in me.
” She blinked rapidly to clear the fresh wave of tears that burned her eyes.
“I got knocked up by a groomsman in my sister's destination wedding.”
“Umm, excuse you, he was the best man,” Jodi teased, and Shaun laughed sadly, wincing when pain shot through her. Jodi peered at her despondently, running her fingers over Shaun’s hair again. “They’re not going to be upset with you. They’re more progressive than you might think.”
“I hurt people,” Shaun whispered miserably, burying her face in her hands. “I hurt the people that I love because I’m too prideful to let myself be vulnerable.” Her shoulders shook pitifully as she sniffled, “I said really mean things to him, Jodi.”
“You are under a lot of stress,” Jodi conceded quietly. “And I’m sure his version of a proposal was less than romantic.”
“Oh god,” Shaun moaned, covering her face with her hands. “He told you guys that?”
“He knows how he did it was wrong,” Jodi murmured. “Once he calmed down, stopped pacing like a damn madman, he was able to see how ambushing you wasn’t the proper way to go about it.”
“It’s not that I never want to get married,” she whispered, removing her hands from her face and stacking them under her cheek again. “I just… I don’t know. I want to know if it's right. How am I supposed to know if it’s right?”
Tommy’s words came back to her. You deserve that big kind of happy, too. Is that what this was? Because right now, it big sucked.
Jodi smiled gently. “You just do, Shaun. I don’t know how to explain it. Do you love him?”
Rolling her head to bury her face in the pillow, she groaned into it. “Yes,” she said, her voice sounding muffled through the padding of the pillow. “I still hate him.”
She heard her sister laugh, then she said, “Yeah, you’ll have that.” They were both quiet for a long time before Jodi asked softly, “So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let him walk away?”
Shaun took a deep breath in, as deep as her battered body would allow, and rolled her head back so she could look at her sister. Tommy’s parting advice came to her. Don’t let that pride of yours get in the way, okay? “What do you think I should do?”
Jodi shrugged, smiling gently. “I think you know. In your heart. Listen to it.”
“Bossy,” Shaun whispered around a yawn.
“I am the older sister, it is my birthright,” Jodi teased gently. “Go to sleep.”
Shaun’s lips pulled in a small smile. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sissy.”
They were quiet for a long time, and Shaun was nearly asleep, when she whispered, “I think I know what I want to do.”
“I knew you would. Sleep first, then you can get back to your regularly scheduled badassery in the morning,” Jodi murmured, and Shaun nodded.
“Deal.”