Chapter 26
E mily lay in the dark and stared at the ceiling until the outlines blurred.
Sleep did not come. It did not even seem nearby. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Adam’s face when she asked to be freed. Every time she turned, the bed felt larger, colder, and too full of what she had said.
Annulment .
She had meant it.
That was the part that hurt most. Not only that she had said it, but also that she had reached the end of the matter cleanly enough to know it was the only thing left to ask. There was no other way to solve this issue between them except if they both parted ways.
She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and let out a rough breath, then she threw back the covers and got out of bed.
The corridor was dark and quiet as she wrapped her shawl more tightly around herself. Her feet were slow and silent on the floor as she walked toward the room Sybella was sharing with Marina and Leonora. She knocked once, softly.
There was a rustle inside, then Sybella’s voice followed. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Emily said.
The door opened at once, and Sybella looked at her for only one second before stepping aside. “Come in.”
Emily entered, and the warmth of the room nearly made her scream out for happiness.
Marina was already sitting up in bed, and Leonora had pushed herself up on one elbow, hair loose over one shoulder, eyes wide with sleep and worry.
“What happened?” Marina asked.
Emily tried to answer and found that she could not.
Sybella took her hand and led her to the bed.
“Sit,” she ordered.
Emily sat.
No one pressed her right away. That helped.
The room had a muted, warm atmosphere that immediately made her feel like she was the safest she could ever be. The candlelight was turned down, and everyone was already in their nightgowns.
Marina was the first to speak again. “Is it Adam?”
Emily laughed once, tired and without humor. “Who else ruins my peace so completely?”
That told them enough.
Leonora pulled the blanket closer around her knees. “Did you quarrel?”
“Yes.”
Sybella’s eyes did not leave Emily’s face. “What happened this time?”
Emily looked down at her own hands. “I asked him for an annulment.”
The silence that followed was worse than shock. Emily would have even taken shock. It was understanding, and she didn’t know if she could bear it.
Marina inhaled softly, and Leonora closed her eyes for one second, while Sybella squeezed Emily’s fingers.
Emily stared at the floorboards because if she looked at any of them too long, she might crack open in a way she did not want.
“I will be fine,” she muttered. “I will just go back. That is all. I will go back to my life as it was before. I am not the first woman to ask for an annulment.”
Sybella made a sound under her breath.
Emily looked up. “What?”
“It is not that easy, Emily.”
“Of course it is.”
Sybella exhaled. “You see, when people leave their mark on you, you cannot go back like that, dear.”
The words landed so plainly that Emily’s throat tightened.
“I can,” she insisted. “I will. I have to.”
Marina looked at her with painful gentleness. “That is not the same thing.”
“It is for me.”
“No,” Leonora said quietly. “It is what you have to tell yourself tonight.”
Emily looked at her, then away. “I do not have another plan. What am I meant to do? Stay and beg him to love me? Stay and pretend scraps are enough because I understand why he is afraid?” Her voice thinned and then steadied again.
“I cannot do that. I cannot keep building a marriage out of moments that disappear by morning.”
No one argued, and for an odd reason, that helped too.
Marina shifted nearer. “Then do not stay.”
Emily swallowed. “I will leave with Mama and Sybella in the morning.”
Leonora sat up straighter. “Tomorrow morning?”
“Yes.”
“That soon?” Marina asked.
Emily nodded. “If I wait, I will lose my nerve. Or he will say something that drags us into the same circle again. I cannot ask him to leave the country house, so I will have to do this by myself.” She pressed her hands together harder. “I need distance before he can confuse me again.”
Sybella leaned back against the headboard and watched her for a long moment. “Do you still love him?”
Emily laughed again, and this time it hurt. “What an obscene question.”
“That is not an answer.”
Emily looked at her sister. “Of course I do.”
Marina’s eyes filled, and Leonora looked down.
Emily felt the grief rise then, clean and terrible. She had managed anger. She had managed pride. But grief was harder.
She pressed on because if she stopped now, she would not say any of it plainly enough.
“I love him,” she confessed. “And he loves me in every way that ruins a woman except the one that actually matters.”
Her mouth trembled, but she forced it still.
“He wants me. He protects me. He cannot bear to see anyone else near me. He listens when I speak, and then he retreats from the one thing that would make any of it matter.” She shook her head once. “I cannot spend my life surviving on almost .”
Sybella got off the bed and knelt in front of her. “You are right to leave.”
That nearly broke Emily as she took an unsteady breath. “I did not come here for permission.”
“I know,” Sybella said. “I am giving it to you anyway.”
For a moment, Emily could not speak at all.
Marina got up next and pressed a handkerchief into her hand. Leonora came closer too, sitting at her side without fuss, shoulder warm against her shoulder.
None of them tried to wrap her in too many consolations. She was grateful that these tiny clichés were not incorporated in any way by her friends and sister. It was part of the reason why she could survive this moment. That and the warmth she felt from the room itself.
After a while, Marina withdrew and looked at her. “What will you tell your mother?”
Emily exhaled. “The truth. Enough of it anyway.”
“And the children?” Leonora asked softly.
Emily closed her eyes. “That is the part I cannot think about for too long.”
Sybella answered for her, “Then don’t. Not tonight.”
Emily nodded as the candle burned lower.
The room grew quieter again, and the girls talked after that of smaller things.
They talked about which gowns had survived the journey from Salbury without damage, which guests were insufferable, and how Sir Peter managed to insult and amuse Frances in the same breath.
Emily laughed once or twice and hated how grateful she was for laughter after a night like this.
At last, she rose. “I should go before dawn catches me still sitting here like some tragic heroine.”
“You can stay,” Marina offered.
“I know.”
Sybella stood too. “I’ll be ready in the morning.”
Emily nodded. “Good. We leave early.”
Leonora caught her hand before she reached the door. “You are not unchanged,” she said.
Emily held her gaze. “I know.”
That was the truth of it. She was not walking away because Adam had failed to touch her deeply enough. She was walking away because he had .
She opened the door, looked back once at the three women who knew her too well to let her lie neatly to herself, and then stepped into the corridor with her mind made up.
She would leave in the morning.
And that was final.
Adam woke with Emily’s name on his lips. The room was too quiet, and her side of the bed had long since cooled. He bolted upright, dragged a hand down his face, and was out of the room before his valet could find him.
He crossed the door connecting their rooms at speed and turned toward the suite she had used. To his surprise, Dominic was waiting there.
He stood in the middle of the corridor with his coat already on, one shoulder leaning against the wall, as if he had planted himself there for exactly this moment. His face was calm in the way that meant he had moved past anger and into something colder.
Adam stopped. “What is going on? Where is Emily?”
Dominic straightened. “She is gone.”
Adam stared at him. “What?”
“She left this morning with our mother and Sybella.”
The corridor felt suddenly narrower, and Adam felt like he needed to lean against something, or else his knees would buckle.
“When?” he eventually asked.
“First light.”
Adam took one step toward the door behind Dominic. “Move.”
Dominic did not. “There is no point. Her things are being packed.”
Adam looked at him then, properly looked at him, and saw what he had missed yesterday in the ruin of his own making.
Dominic was not here out of mere brotherly concern. He was here because he had seen enough.
“I knew something was wrong,” he said.
The words landed cleanly.
Adam’s jaw hardened. “Did she tell you?”
“She did not have to.” Dominic’s voice stayed level. “I can read my sister’s face.”
Adam said nothing. All he could feel at that moment was a pounding and a wave of anticipation. There was no point in hiding anything now.
“She had asked for an annulment.”
Dominic’s eyes sharpened. “Yes. Sybella told me that before they left. I expect that would be handled soon.”
The word hit like a blow, though Adam had already heard it from Emily’s lips.
“It is what she asked for,” he said.
Dominic nodded once. “Then see that it is done.”
Adam’s hands curled at his sides. Was her brother enjoying this? Was he taking pride in making him feel utterly miserable?
“She did not look happy,” Dominic added, breaking into his thoughts. “Whatever happened, it was not some fit of temper.”
Adam exhaled. “I suppose.”
Dominic held his gaze. “If you mean to make amends, truly mean to, I can delay it. I will not throw her back into pain for the sake of a dramatic apology. But if you mean to let this stand, then do it quickly.”
Adam laughed once, low and joyless. “You think I should drag her back into this?”
“I think you should decide whether whatever happened between you two is enough to ruin your marriage.”
The words would have started a fight on any other morning, but now, Adam did not have the strength for one.
“She will be happier without me,” he stated.
Dominic’s face did not change.