Chapter Three #3
I perched on a rock at the edge of the group, gazing at the moonlit ocean beyond the trees with our ship in the distance.
I’d gotten used to the Arrow. The former navy frigate had become my home, and I’d found acceptance and even love there.
It felt strange to be separated from her, and even though our hosts were friendly and welcoming, the sense of being in an unfamiliar land with unknown people made me feel adrift and a bit lost. Besides which, the Captain and Francis hadn’t stopped talking and laughing and making jokes with each other, passing a bottle of Dinesh’s best brandy back and forth.
Where I’d grown up, on the island of Jamaica, the heat had been intense, to be sure, but not as thick as it felt here. We’d noticed the air becoming heavier the farther south we’d travelled.
Sparks danced in the darkness from a fire on the large hearth where our supper of fish and shellfish had been cooked.
I felt the stillness. I missed the easy movement of the Arrow’s hull under my feet.
She had rocked me to sleep at night and comforted me during the day, and I missed her soothing buoyancy.
True, there had been moments of unease during bad weather.
But the majority of the time, she had held me safe in her broad expanse.
I was cautious of expressing affection for the captain in this place. What were the social rules here? Even if Francis wouldn’t care, would José and Mauricio and the others be comfortable with affection between men? I had absolutely no idea.
“Rooster.”
I turned to see Dinesh and Francis looking at me.
“You all right?” the captain asked.
I didn’t want to interrupt their companionship with my sober musings.
“Aye,” I said, smiling and trying not to look as confused and lost as I felt.
“Why don’t you join us?” Francis said. “I’m dying to hear how you managed to capture the heart of this complicated man.”
“Yes, come here, my love. Sit with us,” Dinesh said, shifting over on the log so there was room for me beside him.
The captain’s fond address answered my question about showing our affection plainly. I didn’t expect the relief I felt at his invitation.
I stood and made my way over, strangely shy in the presence of Dinesh’s long-time friend.
What would he think of me? Did he think I was good enough for Dinesh?
Or did he suppose that I was an opportunist with a randy appetite who only wanted a comfortable place to sleep?
At my first appearance on board the Arrow, that might have been true.
But the captain and I had both been surprised by deeper feelings.
Dinesh reached out and took my hand, tugging me onto the log beside him. We were the only ones remaining close to the fire.
“Why did you go off on your own?”
I shrugged, glancing at Francis, who poked a stick into the fire to stir the embers to renewed life.
“You blokes were having such a good tongue wag. I didn’t want to distract…”
“Don’t you know by now, Rooster, that you are a beloved distraction to me. Even if you’re sitting at my side, not saying a word, I’m aware of you.”
I gave him a doubtful look. “Uh, you didn’t even notice I’d left. I’ve been sitting over there for almost an hour.”
“I did notice, but I don’t want to smother you. You are a free agent and can sit where you like. I thought that perhaps Francis and I were being too gregarious.”
“You were, a bit.” I smiled, to make the criticism milder.
“Rooster, I’ve been on that ship with you lot for weeks. I haven’t seen Francis in a very long while. I’m sorry if I’m enjoying myself rather a lot whilst catching up with him.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, you don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry for sulking. I feel a bit…off balance.” I leaned in and kissed his cheek, rewarded by his surprised smile.
“So, Simon, how did you, in fact, capture Dinesh’s attention? On a ship full of hardy and muscular and”—he gave Dinesh an amused look—“sweaty fellows.”
Dinesh rolled his eyes.
“Well, mostly because I wasn’t very good at my job.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“An escaped goat,” the captain muttered. “Rooster was chasing her on deck and…well, ended up falling arse over tit, and I found myself enraptured.”
“I knew my arse had something to do with gaining your attention,” I murmured, drawing circles in the sand with a stick, my cheeks pinking.
“Oh, it still does, I assure you.” Captain Martin laughed. “But, to be fair, you hooked me from the moment we first met.”
“So…does Francis know?” I whispered into Dinesh’s ear, figuring that he must, since Dinesh was being forthright.
“Does Francis know that I’m an unrepentant shirt lifter and itinerant cocksucker?” Captain Martin said in an un-hushed tone as Francis took a great breath and barked a laugh.
“You see, Simon, I’ve known your Captain Martin since we were in the navy together. And he was the initiator of new recruits back then.” Francis waggled his eyebrows.
My eyes bugged out of my head.
“Really, Francis, you make me sound like a child molester.”
“Oh, no, no, no. I didn’t mean that,” Francis said, meeting my gaze with an apologetic smile. “Dinesh had a way of discerning who amongst the men might respond well to a little attention, then helping them to discover their own desires, I should rather say.”
“I was always clear on consent, Rooster. As I am with you. And these were young men of the same station and age as I,” he said, glaring at Francis. “Not men who owed me a favour or a duty. My equals.”
“Hmm,” I said.
Dinesh’s head swivelled and he looked at me, eyebrows raised. “Hmm? What does ‘hmm’ mean?”
“Well…” I said, “You may recall that I was a penniless beggar when I came aboard the Arrow and very much owed you gratitude—well, my life, in all honesty. So, technically, you were in a position of advantage. What if I’d told you to leave me alone?”
Captain Martin’s chin dropped. “I would have. No question.”
“Hmm.”
Dinesh glanced at Francis, then looked at me with grave concern. “What does that mean?”
“What if I’d not believed I had any say? If you recall, you teased me mercilessly at the start. Turning me away with full bollocks and a rampant stand because you desired to frustrate me.”
“Oh my,” Francis muttered, gazing at his feet. “That’s…bloody scandalous, that is.”
“I thought so,” I said. “And a mean trick.”
“Rooster,” the captain said. “Simon. If I took advantage of you, I am so, so sorry…”
I let him stew in the discomfort for another moment before I flashed him a grin.
“Oh, please. You were wrapped around my finger from the start.”
Our coming together had been a mutual enterprise. Nevertheless, I wanted him to know that I’d been fully on board.
“You rascal. You had me worried there. And I did treat you with rather a high hand at first. I do apologize.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That was what I liked about you. Please do continue with the method.”
He smiled and blushed. “As I recall, you weren’t reticent in standing up for yourself. And had plenty of opportunity to tell me to bugger off. You must have known I wasn’t about to throw you off the ship for rejecting my advances.”
“Aye. I’m only teasing. But you are a prodigious force, Dinesh, and possess an astonishing ability to persuade.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He seemed contemplative and gazed into the crackling flames for a long moment. “I told Rooster about that incident on the HMS Rose.”
“Hmm? Oh, yes. Bad business, that.”
“You mean that fellow that was almost hanged?” I asked.
“Yes. After that, I stopped that sort of activity and made plans to desert. I couldn’t live like that anymore, surrounded by such efficient and irrational cruelty. And if I were the cause of another man’s death or the loss of his mind, I couldn’t have borne the responsibility.”
His frank words were a sober reminder of exactly how most of the world we knew viewed the sort of companionship that Dinesh and I enjoyed.
“Well,” Francis said, gazing back and forth between us. “You seem well-matched.”
He threw the stick into the fire and stood.
“Why don’t I show where you can sleep? And the others. And you can let them know because I’m turning in.”