Chapter 15 #2
She hoped she did not appear rude because she knew she was quiet.
She hoped they just thought all of this overwhelmed her because she was not used to it all.
She did not know how long she had remained at the table before Margaret pushed her chair back, catching the attention of everyone at the table.
"I have had my fill. I will have to thank the cook for such a wonderful supper.
Owen, welcome home. I think I will have to excuse myself before I swell from all this food.
" Charlotte watched as Margaret walked away from the table and the others returned to their meal.
She would need to excuse herself so she could talk to Margaret and figure out what she thought.
She doubted she could rest easy until she knew.
Charlotte continued to nibble at her meal as she also wondered how long was acceptable before she left the table. She raised her hand to her lips and faked a yawn.
"Och. Ye must be so tired. Ye have nae had time tae rest at all after that stressful journey ye both had," Owen's mother, Isla said, looking at her with compassion in her eyes.
Charlotte suddenly felt bad. Here she was playing on the kindness of these wonderful people, but she knew she had no choice.
She needed to speak to Margaret as soon as possible.
"Yes, I am quite tired. I apologize for cutting the night short, but I believe I will retire as well," she said as she pushed her chair out.
"Thank you for being such wonderful hosts to me.
I enjoyed my meal and every moment I spent here in your wonderful home.
" Charlotte meant every word she said, and she hoped they knew that.
"I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your evening. "
Without hesitation, Charlotte flew out of the dining room and hurried out in search of Margaret, checking a few chambers before finally finding her pacing the hallway. The girl signaled her over and dragged her to the end of the hallway before finally facing her.
"You almost fooled me with your hair… What are you doing here, Charlotte?" Margaret whisper-shouted. "You acted like you did not know who I was, so that means that you have not told Owen your true identity. Why?" Charlotte saw the panic in Margaret's eyes.
"I know, but I had no other choice. I-I was about to be married to a cruel man that nearly took me against my will, many years ago.
I felt desperate, and I ran away. I did not plan it, but I met Owen along the way, and I know he hates the Musgraves, so I could not very well tell him who I was.
I do not want him to hate me. I do not know if I can bear him looking at me as if I was his enemy," Charlotte finished and noticed Margaret staring at her, dumbfounded.
"Oh my, you are in love with him, aren't you?
" Margaret asked, looking like she had just had an epiphany.
Charlotte shook her head, unable to look her in the face.
No, there was no way she was in love with him, was there?
Of course, she wasn't. There was no way she had fallen for him so quickly.
They had only known each other for a few days, after all.
Surely it took longer than that to find yourself infatuated with a person.
She did not realize how long she had been silent until Margaret slapped her hand on her forehead, taking her silence as a yes. Charlotte shook her head once again, but Margaret spoke before she could.
"If you love him, you must tell him the truth, regardless.
I understand that you are scared of what would happen if he found out, but you have to give him the chance to know and make his own decision.
The longer you keep it from him, the worse it will get when he finally finds out, especially if he does on his own, believe me," Charlotte looked down as Margaret took her hands.
"I know it is difficult, but you have to trust me when I tell you it is best. He knows now.
I did not tell Rory I was a Musgrave for the same reason you are choosing to hide your legacy from Owen right now.
And when he found out, he was livid, and it almost cost me my relationship with him.
" Margaret sighed and looked around to make sure that they were still alone.
"Look, while you are still afraid that telling him will make you lose him, not telling him could be what makes that happen. "
Charlotte was suddenly afraid of ruining things with Owen.
Of course, she knew he would be angry and possibly turn her away when he found out who she was.
There was no way she could hide it from him forever, after all.
Still, Margaret's words had unlocked a fear in her.
It was almost as if she was now forced to accept what she had been brushing off for a long time.
"I… I…"
Charlotte did not know exactly what she was worried about ruining with Owen.
She was not in love with him like Margaret believed.
They had just become friendly and helped each other along the way.
Her hand rested on her chest. The thought of not being able to speak to Owen anymore was almost too much for her to bear.
Because of this, she had refused to think about where she would go after she had camped here for a while.
It made her feel anxious that she would no longer be under his protection soon.
What would happen to her if her uncle's men ambushed her again?
There was no way she could fight them all off on her own.
Her head was about to explode from all the thoughts and fears. She struggled to shut her mind off, but it turned out to be more difficult than she thought. She massaged her forehead with her fingers to ease the throbbing in her head, when she heard Margaret sigh.
"I am sorry I had to bring it up, but I do not want you to go through what I did.
No one should have to go through that, especially not when we did not choose where we were born.
We should not be made to pay for the crimes of selfish people, but it is the way things are.
" Margaret smiled at her and Charlotte did not know whether to take strength from her smile or weep.
"Do not worry too much. That was not my intention, however, you need to tell him quickly. "
"Thank you." Charlotte had decided. "I will tell him right away." She buried her head into her shoulders when Margaret hugged her, happy to have someone who knew the truth about who she was. At least with her, she would not have to pretend to be who she wasn't. With that, Margaret left her alone.
Charlotte went outside to receive some cool evening air and get her thoughts sorted out before she had to talk to Owen.
She breathed in deeply and then went to look for him, making her way through the winding corridors of the castle in the direction a servant had pointed her.
She met him just as he was coming out of his brother'' study and smiled shakily.
"Owen, can I speak to you, please?" she asked, trying to make her voice sound firmer than she felt.
He looked at her, and her brows furrowed when she saw how distracted he was.
His eyes kept shifting, and he was not looking straight at her.
She was tempted to ask him what bothered him so much, but Charlotte knew she would only try to procrastinate when she told him.
"It is very important, please," she muttered when she noticed he did not seem too keen on the idea.
She needed to get it out now that she had decided before she got too scared and backed out.
"Aye, is anything the matter?" Owen asked her after he looked at her clearly distraught face. She nodded her head.
"Let us take a walk around the garden and we can speak there," Owen said, leading the way.
The two walked quietly to the garden as Charlotte struggled to arrange her thoughts.
She was so distracted that she could not appreciate the lovely gardens as her mind spiraled.
She did not know how she would say what she wanted that would not incur his wrath or make him feel betrayed, like she had used him.
After he told her about his hatred for the Musgraves, she had the opportunity to tell him the truth, but she had chosen not to and now she did not know how he would react.
Owen sat down and tapped the space next to him on a bench and she followed down beside him. "All right, what is it that has got ye so worried?" he asked immediately. Charlotte took a breath before she spoke.
"Before I say anything, I would like to apologize for not telling you any of this sooner.
I did not intend to lie to you. At first, I had been worried that telling you who I was would also put you in danger, but after we talked and you told me how you felt, I could not very well tell you because I was afraid of how you would react. "
Owen turned to face her as she spoke, and she knew she had gotten his full attention. He was about to speak when she put up a hand to stop him. "No, please let me say all that I have to. I fear I will not have the courage to do so if you speak," he said, relieved when he agreed.
"I am Charlotte Routledge… The daughter of one of the most powerful allies of the Musgrave family," she began.
"My father was Lord Routledge. He was a powerful English Lord.
But as I told you earlier, he died a while ago in a wildfire while trying to save me from the blaze.
" She paused to clear her throat when her voice croaked.
"After his death, I was left under the care of my uncle, Alexander Routledge.
He took over my father's properties, locked me up in a room away from everyone else, and never allowed me out.
Other than some servants he allowed to bring me food and whatever else I needed, he was the only one I ever saw.
None of the servants could help me because they were all afraid to cross him. "
Charlotte did not want to talk about this, but she knew she had to. This was the only way and if, after she did, he asked her to leave, she would go, knowing that she did the right thing.
"I could never escape because he always had the key with him, but I knew I had to after he threatened to marry me off to one of the men who tried to assault me years ago, William Dodd.
I ran away, and that was how I found you.
" Charlotte finished her tale and finally let herself look at Owen.
He was quiet, and she knew her confession had ruined everything.
"I am sorry I lied to you about who I was.
I will leave the castle first thing in the morning. "
Charlotte stood. She had done the right thing. That was all that mattered.
Yet, that did not stop her heart from breaking.