Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Ada followed him, and they walked side by side towards the castle.
Despite her gratitude that he had been watching her and had come to her rescue, she was irritated at him for demanding yet another order from her.
However, she did not want to stay in the dark gardens any longer, and so she listened, her fists clenched as she walked in silence for a bit.
It wasn’t fair. It certainly wasn’t fair to Blair, but she was just so tired of men.
Irving’s last interaction had made it even worse.
But before she could speak, Blair said in a low voice, “It was irresponsible tae rush off like that intae the gardens. Who kens what lies in wait for ye there? I was givin’ ye space, and I should nae have done, especially in the bloody freezing weather!”
“Blair, how dare ye accuse me of what just happened? Whatever Irving says or does, has nothin’ tae dae with me. Are ye quite clear about that?”
They had made it inside and up the stairs, and they were just at her bedroom door. Blair’s jaw clenched, his eyes fiery, but he nodded.
“Aye, of course. I did nae mean tae say it like that. I just… I ken what men think and how many men believe that a woman is somethin’ they can use tae their own advantage, nae matter whether she gives her consent or nae.”
Ada’s heart softened a bit as she saw Blair struggle to explain to her about a man taking a woman’s virtue.
She was still trembling a little at how close Irving had been, the way he’d grabbed her arm at the end where she’d tried to leave, and he didn’t like it.
It reminded her of months before when Laird Grant’s men had grabbed her and Ella.
She’d thought at first that they would simply take them to their laird.
But instead, they’d attempted to do far worse until Cameron had come to save them.
Ella called Cameron her “avenging angel.”
I suppose Blair should like a nickname like that as well.
“Ye should nae create risks like that. I am tellin’ ye for yer own good!” he said, and she frowned.
“I can dae whatever I like, Blair. I am so sick and tired of man after man tellin’ me what I can and cannae dae. I will choose for meself.” She poked a finger in his chest and then turned to open her door, not shutting it behind her as he was certain to come in anyway.
He shut it behind him and said, “Why dae ye have tae make everythin’ difficult, lass? I only want tae keep ye safe.” His tone was pleading, and she turned around to face him, her hands on her hips.
“But it is nae I who have chosen a guard for meself. Ye are only here because of me father. I did nae ask for this!” She pointed between them and saw a flash of understanding in Blair’s eyes at her hidden meaning.
Blushing, she turned away again and said, “Despite what every man thinks, they would see that I am perfectly capable of takin’ care of meself if they would let me breathe for one moment!
I dinnae need ye comin’ after me all the time, right on me heels, stayin’ in me room.
I dinnae.” She repeated, but her voice had lost its firmness.
Her skin tingled, and she could feel his presence behind her.
Spinning around, she said, “Can ye understand that?” Her voice was a bit louder now, but she paused when she saw how close he was. Their eyes locked. “We-well? Can ye?”
“Aye, I can understand that,” he growled. “But since it is me job tae dae what I have been asked tae dae, I will follow ye wherever ye go, Ada. I will follow ye tae the ends of the earth if need be.”
In that moment, Blair was far more beautiful than she’d ever seen him. He was bristling with fury, but there was more to it than that. His eyes were like gemstones, sparkling with intensity as he looked at her, searching her eyes for something. It was almost like he was asking for permission.
Ada did the last thing she expected to do.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
She felt the stillness of his mouth and lips as soft as silk, which she never expected.
A warmth pooled below her stomach, and her skin felt more sensitive than ever.
Blair froze under her touch, and she pulled away quickly, surprised at her own boldness.
She had wanted it for so long, but she’d never expected that her courage would reach that level.
Her cheeks burning, she put a hand over her mouth and stepped back.
“I…” she said, unable to think of anything that would help make the situation any better.
But then Blair stepped forward, pulled her hand from her mouth, and with one last look in her eyes, he kissed her again.
She moaned as she felt the warmth of his strong hands on her lower back, pressing her closer against him as his lips prodded her mouth open.
She leaned into the soft press eagerly, sinking into the warmth and loveliness of his kiss and reaching her arms up to his shoulders to embrace him, to keep him in there in case he would second guess himself as she had.
Ada had never been kissed, not once in the whole of her life, and she felt it had been sorely lacking in her education.
Blair was an excellent teacher. He was at the same time gentle and demanding, his tongue reaching past the threshold of her lips to seek her own.
Tentatively, she reached out to touch it, and a frisson of heat soared from her mouth to everywhere else, making her nipples peak and her toes clench.
“Dear God, ye are everythin’, lass,” she thought she heard him say as his mouth moved down the line of her jaw and the length of her neck.
But she wasn’t certain. Her mind was cloudy and unfocused, her body sharpened and primed to pleasure as his hands lowered to her buttocks, grasping her there and pushing her against his hips. Something hard prodded against her belly, and she let out a sound.
It made Blair jolt and pull back, his hands dropping to his sides so quickly that Ada had to steady herself.
“Wh-what’s wrong?” she asked and then nearly rolled her eyes at her stupidity.
“This. This is wrong,” Blair said, rubbing a hand over his face and then through his hair. He looked tortured. Was he so sorry for what he did that it was actually torturing him? “I need tae go. I will send Angus or Darren tae ye.”
No, dinnae go. But she couldn’t say a word. He backed away, and then when he turned around, he tore open the door and left, slamming it shut behind him without another glance at her.
Ada, her knees still weak from everything that had passed, stepped backward until she felt the cool stone against her back.
She pressed her palms against it, hoping it would keep her from falling into a heap on the floor.
Something she’d wanted for so long had actually happened.
She’d made a decision for herself that had made her happy.
I kissed Blair just like I wanted tae kiss him. And he kissed me back.
But then, he’d run away from her, looking disgusted as he backed away and fled as fast as his leg could carry him.
He does nae want me, and now he will never look at me the same again.
The terrible voice that spoke to Blair of his wrongdoings and his failings was loud inside his head now.
How could ye dae somethin’ like that—defilin’ a laird’s daughter and kissin’ her like ye had nae breath left, and she was yer key tae it? Ye will bring darkness upon her.
Blair ran from the room without a thought to where he was going. He had to find Angus and Darren, but he couldn’t think or speak. He stopped in a passageway and hid inside an alcove to catch his breath.
Shite.
He breathed deeply, closing his eyes to help balance himself again.
He had to think clearly in order to make sure someone was watching Ada; he had to find Angus or Darren.
But when he closed his eyes, all he could see was the moment when she’d kissed him with such purity and innocence.
Her lips had been softer than he’d ever dreamed of, and when she pulled away, he knew then that he could not waste another moment without having her mouth on his again.
It had been a moment of weakness, and he knew he’d pay dreadfully for it.
And yet it had been the single brightest moment of his life since Finley’s men had brutally killed his father.
He’d spent all these years in a darkness full of pain, regret, guilt, and secrets.
But when he kissed Ada, everything seemed to fall away, and it was just the two of them, their lips and tongues touching, his hands roving the shape of her body while hers explored him.
Her taste had sent him heavenward, and it was one he would never forget, even if he did not kiss her for the rest of his days.
And I cannae. It can never happen again.
His eyes snapped open, and stepping out from the alcove, he set his jaw and flexed his fingers before he clenched them into fists.
Damn it, his whole body was aching for her.
He tried to move his hard member to a position that would not be so visible under his kilt, but that was just not possible.
He couldn’t even remember how long it had been since it last stood at the ready like this.
With a grunt, he walked down the passage, searching for the other two men to watch Ada as a decision formed in his mind.
He would have to leave MacPherson Castle and return to Grant Castle with Cameron and Ella.
Being here so close to Ada was becoming insupportable when all he wanted to do was kiss her again and carry her off to some hidden place and make her his own.
He longed to claim her with his kisses, to teach her what pleasure was. His manhood twitched at the thought.
For the love of God…
But filial happiness was not to be his. He was a dangerous man, and even though no one else knew of his secrets, they would come out eventually if he tried to seek out the good in his life. Bad things were bound to happen if he asked fate for more than he deserved.
I will go tae Cameron. He will understand. But I will have tae find a way tae make Laird MacPherson understand that I am nae longer suitable. I cannae stay around her. I cannae dae this.
He found Angus in the barracks in the lower part of the castle, just finishing his meal.
“Lad, will ye take over for me for a little while?” Blair asked. “I have some business.”
“Aye, of course,” the man said, delighted as he got up from his chair and patted Blair’s back in a friendly greeting.
Since the two girls had escaped a few times under Angus and Darren’s watch, Laird MacPherson had initially demoted them back to the ranks of his other soldiers.
However, Blair convinced him to continue to use them, for they had the girls’ best interest at heart.
Now that there was only Ada to guard, it was far easier, even though she was the naughtier of the two.
Naughty she is, aye.
Angus left, and Blair sat down at a table on his own.
A servant served him a bowl of stew and a mug of ale.
He thanked them quietly, and he ate without tasting the food.
He wasn’t hungry, but it gave him an excuse to sit down there until he had a good reason to speak to Laird MacPherson about why he was leaving.
As he sipped at his ale, he wished that there was a whole river of it that he could drink endlessly from so he could numb his mind and body from remembering just how good it had felt to be with Ada.
But no, that memory was firmly placed, and he knew it would take a herculean effort to remove it.
When he was done, he stood and slowly made his way to the stairs.
He would just have to say that he had stayed long enough at MacPherson Castle for Graeme to find him a replacement.
He was meant to be Cameron’s man-at-arms, but he’d agreed to help with Ada until Graeme found someone else.
Now that she was betrothed, she would be leaving soon, but Blair couldn’t stay there another minute.
He couldn’t be sure that he could trust himself to not kiss Ada again or doing more—like kidnap her and take her away from Irving.
I have tae leave as soon as possible.
His gait was very slow as he made his way to Graeme’s study.
When he got there, the door was closed, and he could hear voices inside—her voice.
He paused, unsure what to do when the voices raised, and then the door swung open and Ada rushed out, right into him.
Together, in a twist of limbs and arms, they fell to the ground.