Chapter Seven – Noelle
Miranda is sitting on the couch, alone, by the time I come back downstairs, after I washed myself up and changed out my panties.
Her amber eyes glisten, but she says not a word as I sit next to her and scoot close enough that I can share the blanket with her.
Some animated movie is on the TV across from us, and she hums along with the Christmas tune the characters are currently singing.
She doesn’t say a word, and she makes it so obvious she’s not addressing it. I know she knows what happened somehow. The girl is a psychic.
Honestly? It’s all her fault. If she would have told me her brothers would be here, I wouldn’t have come. My parents probably wouldn’t have let me. All I know is, I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do when I get home.
“So,” I break the silence after a while, “there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
She finally turns her head in my direction, a knowing expression on her face. “Go on.”
Ugh, she’s going to make me say it. The jerk. “I may have, um, kissed Matteo, and he… he said I was his.” When I say it out loud, I get this weird, tingly feeling on my neck, as if my scent gland suddenly has a mind of its own and is reminding me how good it felt to have his lips there.
As I talk, a slow smirk spreads on her lips. “I knew it. I knew it. I freaking knew you guys were right there, and all I had to do was give a little push.” She laughs. “I should play matchmaker. I totally knew it.”
It’s not that I don’t want to give my friend all the credit, but—no, it’s mostly that. “You didn’t know.”
“Oh, please. You’re not exactly discreet, and neither are they.
It’s obvious you guys have been in love with each other for years.
I just don’t get why you put it off for this long.
I mean, you could have joined their pack officially the moment you turned eighteen.
Why wait so close to your first heat? Just get it done with it already, you know?
I mean, I’m not an omega, so I guess I don’t know how it feels, but shit.
Just stop it with the back and forth and make it official.
” Her rambling stops. “It is official, isn’t it? ”
“I… don’t know.”
“Well, we can safely assume Matteo is telling the others right now, which means it’s as good as official.” She turns toward me, ignoring the TV completely. “I know you, Noelle, so I know you’re going to overthink this. Don’t.”
I want to laugh, I want to tell her I don’t overthink everything, but…
well, I guess I do tend to do that. Maybe it’s an omega thing.
We want everything to be perfect all the time, and that’s not life, so we’re caught in a web of constantly trying to be better, to do better, to please everyone around us.
It sucks. I hate it, honestly. Besides all the extra bodily fluids, it’s my least favorite thing about being an omega. The innate urge to make everyone around me happy.
What about me? What about my happiness and what I want? I suppose that’s the reason omegas do better when they’re in a pack, when they have multiple mates who’ll do everything in their power to make them happy.
“I’m trying not to, but…” I bury my face in my hands. “What am I going to tell my parents? They’re going to kill me if I come home smelling like your brothers.”
“I’ll talk to them with you, if you want. Hell, I’m sure my brothers would, too. It’ll be an awkward conversation, maybe, but we’ll get through it. You’re not alone in any of this. You know I always have your back.”
“Thanks.” Beneath the blanket, I wrap my arms under my legs. “Any word on your parents yet?”
“Well, looks like half the United States is covered in bad storms. Not just snow, but ice and bitter cold. They’ll be lucky if they make it here by Christmas.” She shrugs. “As much as it sucks we won’t all be here, maybe it’s for the best. It gives you and my brothers some time, anyway.”
I study her. “And what about you?” I doubt my friend wants to hear or see things involving me and her brothers. The house is huge, yes, so it isn’t like there’s not space she could retreat to and hide, or put earbuds in to drown us out, but that isn’t what anyone wants to do around Christmas.
“What about me? If you’re worried about me, I can hang out in my bedroom more often and let you guys take the living room. I know things tend to happen fast when omegas find their pack, and I definitely don’t want to see any of that—”
Just the way she says that last word, so grossed-out, makes me laugh in spite of it all.
And then it hits me. What she means. What her brothers and I could possibly get up to.
It’s not that I didn’t think about those things—when her brothers are in the picture, I can’t lie; I’ve thought about it a lot—but I didn’t put two and two together.
I didn’t actually think anything would happen here.
There’s only one thing that happens when an omega finds her pack. Well, lots of things, but if you zoom out, all those things are under the same umbrella, and that umbrella is labeled in big, bold, black letters: SEX.
The purring. The growling. The slick. The knots.
Even without losing myself to the stupor of a heat, they could still make me lose my mind.
There’s no such thing as being quiet when you’re losing your mind, and the thought of my best friend hearing me go at it with her brothers is, in a word, embarrassing.
“Maybe this is all just one misunderstanding,” I mutter, my anxieties taking hold of me and refusing to let go.
“No. Stop it. Stop it right now. Listen to me: you feel something when you’re with them, don’t you?
You feel… pulled or something, right?” When I give her a nod, my friend goes on, “That’s it, then.
That’s the bond, the connection. You guys have resisted it for years, but I’ve seen enough of these cheesy Christmas movies to know that you can’t fight it forever.
Some things are inevitable, and there’s nothing more inevitable in this world than a bond between an omega and her alphas. ”
Miranda might not be the philosophizing type, but she hit the nail on the head, I fear.
Us omegas are told that once it hits us, when we finally realize we’ve met our mates, our bodies will know before our minds.
Things will just snap into place, the missing puzzle pieces in our soul, that we cannot resist the lure of being complete.
It’s in our very nature to seek each other out, and to only find true happiness when we’re nestled safely within a pack of alphas who love and cherish us.
It’s what we’re spoon fed from birth, and for a while I thought it was just that: window dressing.
Pretty lies to make omegas accept the status quo.
And, certainly, not every omega in the world is the same.
Surely there are some out there who are happy without a pack—there are other ways to take care of yourself during a heat, but we’re taught those ways are a last resort.
Heat houses. Temporary packs. Going it alone.
None of them are easy, but there have to be omegas out there who choose those options and are happy.
After all, everyone is different. No one is the same.
I want to tell her I’m different, but doesn’t everyone believe they’re different, deep down? And doesn’t that go to show that, maybe, there is more commonality inside us than we’d like to believe? Look at how easily I folded with Matteo. She’s got to be right; it had to be inevitable.
“There’s nothing shameful about it,” Miranda says, still trying to make me feel better.
“Your parents will understand. I’ll take the flack for not letting you know my brothers would be here.
And my parents—well, pretty sure they suspected things, too.
I don’t think they’ll be too surprised if they stroll in that door and you’re wearing the scents of their sons. ”
Oh, God. That’s an embarrassing thought.
“What if I mess something up?” I ask quietly.
“You won’t. Besides, even if, by some miracle you did, I don’t think my brothers would care. They’re so head-over-heels for you, and you’re just as crazy for them. Seriously, I don’t know how you four lasted as long as you did.”
Hearing her talk so normally about it does make me feel better.
Maybe I’m not so crazy after all with how easily I gave in to Matteo.
Maybe all those inappropriate dreams the past few years weren’t so inappropriate at all—my mind was just trying to tell me that my mates were right there, right in front of me, so close I could reach out for them and take them any time I wanted to.
“If I have to guess,” she says, glancing at the railing upstairs, “those three are in Matteo’s room, planning their next move. The meatheads probably feel in over their heads when it comes to you.” She grins at me. “Looks like you hold the power over them now. Use it wisely.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. It’s like she’s passing me the torch when it comes to her brothers.
She’s the only beta of the family, yet when she tells her brothers to do something, they do it.
Just like when their mom says something, they listen.
They might be alphas, but they respect women, respect their family and loved ones.
They’re good guys. I wouldn’t want anything else, anybody else, now that I’m really putting some thought into it.
Those guys… I’ve been waiting forever for them, even if I didn’t know it.
Fate had tied us together at such a young age, it’s insane to me that it took us all this long to realize it.
We were too blinded by our denial, by trying to be adults and not cross any lines that couldn’t be un-crossed.
We didn’t want to disappoint our families, our friends, so we resisted.
Well, this holiday season came along and said ‘No more of that,’ didn’t it?
I lean my head on Miranda’s shoulder and ask, “What do you think they’re planning?”
“I don’t know, but I’d be ready if I were you for some ridiculous romantic gesture.”
I smile to myself. I’m not used to gestures like that, but when it comes to those three, maybe I could be.
I don’t think I’m high maintenance, so I don’t need constant validation or big, over-the-top gestures all the time.
Still, there’s nothing more romantic than this time of year, so whatever they’re planning up there, I’m ready for it.
Ready, willing, and excited.