Chapter 14 The Arrangement Reconsidered
On the twenty-eighth day, they had the conversation that both of them had been not-having for four weeks.
It did not begin as that conversation. It began, as many of the more important conversations did, in the middle of a practical discussion — in this case the spring cattle plan, which Holly had updated with a third draft incorporating James's feedback on the second draft and which she wanted to walk through before they got too close to Christmas and the year's end.
She was showing him the updated plan. He was looking at the updated plan with the quality of a man who had read the second draft and was now reading the third draft and was noticing what had changed between them.
"You incorporated the fencing timeline," he said.
"You said the fencing had to be done before the cattle came," she said. "If the cattle are coming in April, the fencing has to be done in March. March is in the plan."
He turned the page. He read. She watched him read with the attention she always gave to what he did with information she had produced, because the watching told her things she could not get from the result.
He turned back to the first page. He looked at the budget column.
"The wages line," he said.
"Yes," she said.
"You've put in a wage," he said.
"For you," she said. "For the south pasture management.
The arrangement we agreed on was a share of revenue, but I've been looking at the numbers and the share arrangement doesn't pay you until the cattle are sold, which isn't until fall, and you're doing work that starts in March. That's not fair."
He looked at the wage she had written.
"I'm not sure I can afford it," she said, before he could speak. "The savings are holding better than I expected because the property costs less than I planned for in most categories, but the wage is significant and I don't want to promise it and then not deliver."
"Where does the salary come from?" he said.
"I'm looking for account work," she said.
"I wrote to three businesses in Longmont last week.
My skills are specific and documented and I have references from Kansas City.
If one of them has a part-time position, I could work two days a week in Longmont and manage the property the rest of the time. "
He looked at her. "Two days a week in Longmont is a significant commitment of travel time in winter," he said.
"I know," she said. "I've calculated it. It's manageable."
"You've calculated it," he said.
"I've calculated most things," she said. "It's what I know how to do."
He was quiet for a moment. He set down the plan and looked at the table. Holly recognized this as the considering-something-significant quality, the one that preceded the saying of something he had been thinking about and had decided to say.
"I want to revisit the arrangement," he said.
She looked at him.
"Not the south pasture arrangement," he said. "The original one. The one with Harold."
She waited.
"What you gave me was fair," he said. "The right of first purchase if you sell.
That's fair. I'm not saying it isn't fair.
" He looked at the table. "But I've been here four weeks and what I see is a woman who knows what she's doing and who is going to make this property work, and the right of first purchase is relevant only if you decide to sell, which I no longer think you're going to do. "
"I'm not going to sell," she said.
"I know," he said. "Which means the arrangement as it stands doesn't address the actual situation, which is that I work the south pasture and get a share of revenue from cattle that don't exist yet, and you are planning to take on account work in Longmont in February to fund a wage you can't currently afford. "
"What do you want to propose?" she said.
He looked at her. She looked at him. They were at the kitchen table with the spring cattle plan between them and the mountains in the window and the December morning doing its December morning thing.
"I don't know yet," he said. "Something I haven't thought of yet."
She looked at him.
"You use it," he said. "I thought I'd try it."
Something moved in her face that was not entirely a smile but was in that direction. "It's a placeholder," she said. "Not a solution."
"I know," he said. "I'm working on the solution."
"So am I," she said.
They sat with the plan between them and the something-they-hadn't-thought-of-yet hanging in the air between them, and the kitchen was warm and the mountains were patient, and whatever the arrangement was going to be was still becoming itself, and neither of them forced it.