Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Isabella
PRESENT DAY
I can’t believe I actually let go of my pride in front of Maxwell. Me. Isabella. I stood in front of this abomination of a man and said nothing, and now I have to go back to the town I swore never to set foot in again. As if it wasn’t enough, he puts a time on it. Not only do I have to go back to Road Haven, but I have to come back in exactly two weeks with a name, a signature, and a collection. Things I already know I won’t be having before the term expires. Talk about an ultimatum.
But I won’t go down without a fight. If fighting means going by the manual and treating Travis the same as I would treat any other artist, I would. It shouldn’t be hard, right? He is an artist, and we’re nearly strangers, so it should be. It must be.
After hours of non-stop, stressful, and uncomfortable flight, I safely arrive. My heart thumps as I look for my luggage on the carousel. It spins around for some time, pinning my feet down. As I wait, I think to myself, it’s not too late to book a flight back home. I’m at the airport, anyway, so I can just walk over to that lady in an army blue uniform and a blinding red scarf around her neck and buy a ticket to Paris. Or Spain, maybe Australia. Anywhere. A turn to the left is all I need.
My one beige suitcase finally makes its turn in front of me. I pick it up, disappointed. How am I back here, breathing the same air as him? And how am I supposed to do this without breaking down?
As I verify if the suitcase is really mine and if it’s intact, Stevie Wonder’s voice buzzes through the back pocket of my jean skirt. Madison. She’s been walking down this road with me since that day in the office, always following my steps and making sure I get this deal. Aside from her pleasant personality and friendship, she’s close to being Maxwell’s doppelg?nger, in terms of work. She can hide it all she wants, but it’s obvious she has the same ambitions as him. She doesn’t suffocate me, so it’s fine, but it can quickly take a U-turn.
“Hey, are you there yet?” she asks, her voice hoarse. It’s pretty late in France right now, compared to the bright and dry sky I’ll be encountering as soon as I step outside.
“Landed a while ago. I’m still at the airport,” I answer, confirming the suitcase is mine by the paper tag on the carry strap. “Why couldn’t you come with me, by the way? Right about now, I would’ve needed you.”
I implored her to come with me on this goose chase, but she couldn’t because of more work she had to do because of my absence. I don’t think Maxwell even thought of that before asking me to chase someone who didn’t want to be found.
“For you to exploit me? I’ll pass. I already have the boss for that.” She giggles.
“Still, it would’ve been nice to have you here.”
“Maybe next time, once you get this deal, of course.” She brings it up again. Like I said… Maxwell’s doppelg?nger.
“I’m telling you, it’s useless. I came here for nothing.” I exhale, walking towards the entrance gate. I drag my suitcase along, dreading whatever is waiting for me outside.
Longing, fear, pride, and worst of all, the people I have to face.
“I didn’t want to mention it, but you seem to be quite confident he won’t work with us. Why is that? Do you know him?” she asks. I’m astonished no one brought up this question sooner.
For the past week, I’ve been shouting to the roofs how against I am about all of this, and how it’ll take a miracle for Travis to work with us. I believed my words were falling on deaf ears, as nobody appeared to be listening.
“No. It’s just a feeling.” I chicken out. I can’t tell her yet. Who knows, maybe he will work with us, and if that day comes, I wouldn’t want everyone at work sniffing their noses in my business.
“Hmm,” she hums.
As I get closer to the door, I see a familiar car parked in front. It’s so bright and big that it’s impossible to ignore. It’s been a while but I’ll never not recognize this car. The same pickup I had spent my teenage years in, singing to songs I no longer listen to and holding interventions in. How could I forget it? A majority of my best moments were within or next to this car.
“Madi, I have to go. I’ll call you later, and can you please inform the devil’s eye I’ve arrived? I don’t need his voice trekking with me all the way here.” I rush, eager to run out.
“Enjoy your time out.” She says and I hang up the phone.
The doors slide open for me and, to my surprise, a tall and suited man awaits me. His stance is like a bodyguard with his hands hidden behind him, and his chin facing me.
“Hayes?” I call, louder than intended.
I approach him, hesitant to go any closer than two feet.
“Welcome back,” he says, and immediately, my entire body shuts down. It’s him. Though he doesn’t have the same amusing voice he had when I left, it’s still him.
“I… what… how?” I stutter.
Colin frees his hand from his back and, just as he does that, I notice another familiar and cheerful face. “Welcome back, Superstar.” James makes an appearance, sitting in the passenger seat. James Anderson, my forever savior, and other ride-or-die, next to Colin.
I stare and stare until I can’t no more. An opaque shield covers my iris and I can barely make up their faces, almost as if going blind. This is too much for me.
“She’s not going to cry, is she?” I find my way to the conversation based on James’ voice. Despite time, his voice has remained completely unchanged. It’s still welcoming and charming to hear.
“Unless she’s had an awakening back in Paris, I don’t think so.” Then there’s Colin’s new persona. One I haven’t had the chance to experience yet, but I feel it won’t take long before I do.
I can’t cry. I can’t. That will beat the entire identity I had planned on my way here. It would dig back up a version of me I had hidden before walking into the plane and make this even harder than it already is. I can’t shed a tear. Fuck!
“Oh, crap! It’s happening,” James says as he gets out of the car, also clothed in a suit.
Colin cups my shoulders in hopes of cutting my tears off. Another hand caresses my scapula and I assume it’s James, otherwise, this moment will turn dark super quick.
“How did you know I was coming? No one knows!” I screech, humiliating myself the more I speak, but with a clear view of my boys.
I tried to make my arrival as discreet as possible, so I only informed my mother. Yesterday. The later she knew, the less time she had to run her mouth around town, and even with that strategy, I bet she still did. I just can’t afford word spreading about me coming back here. Not before I see Travis.
“Ugh, whatever. I missed you guys.” I wrap my arms around both of them and pull them in a tight and long-awaited hug.
“I told you she still remembers us,” James hisses at Colin, above my head.
I pull out of the group hug, feeling stuffed with emotions. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing. It’s just Colin saying stupid things. He might’ve implied you forgot about us and made a new life with new friends. Which is fine, by the way.”
“Let’s be honest here. Since you left, you’ve reached out like what, ten times? I’ve had dry text groups before, but ours is like Sahara plus ten,” Colin defends.
“True, but you and I know she’s been working hard out there.”
“So have we.” They go back and forth. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re back and still have us in your heart,” he continues.
“I never forgot you guys. Not even once. It’s just that I didn’t think it was fair for me to act as if everything was fine with me when it wasn’t.” I explain, my words struggling to come out.
“So, you shut us out, I get it.” Colin springs his fingers in the air as he speaks, clearly eager to move on.
“No, it was more than that.” I quickly pick back up the conversation. “I abandoned you, I admit it. I shouldn’t have let go so easily, and I’m sorry.”
“Hey, hey, it was never that serious. We know how hard it was for you with—” He pauses. “Everything. You don’t have to explain. I get it.”
“As long as you’re back, everything will be fine. You truly have nothing to apologize for, but if you think you do, then we forgive you.” James picks up.
My heart shrinks in my chest as I sink in every word they shower me with. It is dense and paralyzing.
“Oh, Superstar. Come here.” James doesn’t lose a second pulling me into his arms.
My head lies on his chest and it reminds me of the night I broke things off with Travis. I had pulled the band-aid off and called James to cry out about what had happened and exactly ten minutes later, he rushed to my place in the darkest time and comforted me. And five more minutes after that, Colin slammed my door open and did his part.
I can’t believe I ever thought I could live without these boys. They’ve done so much for me and been with me for the majority of my life. So, why did I refuse another one of their passing hand? If only I had accepted a hand six years ago, I wouldn’t still be in such a precarious state.
But also, if I had, I wouldn’t be where I am today in my career and would’ve never moved away. I traded one for the other, and from my point of view, none of them was the better choice.
“I’m glad you’re back, Superstar,” he says, his hands caressing the back of my head.
Oh!
“Um, I’m not staying,” I let out.
Even in front of this busy airport, silence builds up between us. “I’m here for work.”
“Work?” Colin asks.
“Yeah, I’m here to recruit an artist. After that, I have to go back home and plan an event,” I rumble. The faster this gets out, the faster I can move on.
James’ locks hide his eyes, but I know they’re filled with nothing but questions. There’s a reason I didn’t want them to know I was coming back. Staying for two weeks is cruel, not only for them but also for me. But now they know, and I’m stuck with various emotions flooding me all at once, still at this fucking airport. Damn, I should’ve taken that left turn and bought a ticket out of here.
“You only came for work? Seriously?” Colin continues, his words sounding harsher and filling up with anger.
“How long?” Two words escape James’ mouth and they hurt more than Colin’s. Only because I know how much my being here means for James.
The last time I heard from him, his mom had just passed away. I couldn’t be here for him, and to this day, I beat myself for it. For not being the shoulder he could cry on, the ears he could speak to, and the person he could confide in. I stare at my tears soaked in his shirt and realize things won’t be as easy as I hoped they would be. And he’s not even Travis. Nor is Colin. Two men I adore so dearly. How in the world am I supposed to do this all over again, but with Travis?
—CHAPTER EPILOGUE ? —
My knees drop to the floor the moment the door closes in front of me. The walls of my room close in on me and my breathing ceases to exist. My heart rapidly thuds in my chest as I try to regain my breath, but it’s no use. I let Travis go. Fuck! I broke things off with him and let him walk out. What the fuck! What the actual fuck did I just do?
I wheeze uncontrollably on the floor, barely able to let a word out. My muscles are tense, my heart aches, and I’m stuck to the floor. If I could turn back time and retract everything I had said and done five minutes ago, I would. But then, I’ll find myself back with the same worries I had before that, and the cycle will repeat itself.
I didn’t think I could lose myself by the bare look of his back, walking away from me, but here I am. Unable to breathe.
With the last bit of strength in me, I reach for my phone on the bed, millimeters away from me. My hands shake in the attempt and it frustrates me because I’m finding myself in a position where I can’t even do the simplest of things. But I try my best and finally get to hold my phone in my hand. Nobody in this world would agree with my choice, but two people can at least lie to me about it. My fingers swipe down a few letters down to James’ number and I don’t ponder to press the button to call him.
“Ja—” I struggle to say his name, my chest growing tighter in my throat.
“Isa,” he nonchalantly says the same as he has done every time I call him. Voices from his end gain my attention and it seems to be from a show he’s watching on TV.
“Can you…” I stop to take in a slow and deep breath, which I find difficult to do. “Please,” I finally prevail to say.
“Is something wrong?” The voices from his side cease to make a sound, and I assume he’s turned off the TV.
I don’t know what to say, so I resume to one word that could send him straight to me. “Help.” The phone slips off of my hand and I fall to the ground, helpless.
A river of tears continues to flow down my cheeks as I hold my chest. I close my eyes, and the last image of Travis appears in front of me. His eyes glowing from his incoming tears come first and then the sight of him on his knees, begging for me to retract my words come next. The last few minutes continue to flood me, and one after the other, I’m unable to bear them.
As I continue torturing myself with these images of the breakup, my door slams open, inciting me to open my eyes.
“What happened?” James asks immediately after I open them. He rushes towards me and wraps his arms around me, holding me in a tight hug.
His warm embrace finally makes me release everything, crying loudly and expressively, pouring out my soul and drenching his shirt. “We’re done,” the words come out along with the pain and regret.
“What?” He tightens the hug.
“I broke up with Travis,” I say.
Just then, Colin enters. He’s clothed in his assembled PJs and sweating like a pitcher with ice water in it. I skim down his body to his feet and land on them dirtied without shoes on.
“What did you just say?” Colin asks, standing by the door.
James pulls me off of him and stares at me while I keep my eyes on Colin. My vision is blurry, so I squint.
“Travis and I are done. I broke up with him,” I repeat. Saying it out loud makes it even more real.
“Didn’t you go visit him at his school today? What do mean by you broke up with him?” Colin fumes as he approaches us.
“Yes, you were so excited to go.” James is in disbelief as he chuckles. I finally face him and sigh. “What the fuck happened?” he asks.
“Can’t you two just hug me and tell me I did the right thing? Please,” I choke on my words.
“Isabella.” Colin kneels next to us. “We don’t even know why you broke up with him.”
“Please. I beg of you,” I plead.
They look at me for a second before abiding by my wishes. James goes in first and wraps his arms around me again. This time, I succumb to his shoulders, burying my face in it. Colin, in his turn, holds onto my hand and caresses it. “Everything will be okay. You did the right thing,” he says, continuously brushing his fingers on the back of my hand, sending comfort.
And in every touch, I tell myself I’ll be okay. Even when deep inside, I know I won’t be able to forgive myself for what had happened tonight, I’ll be fine. Because I have these two to tell that every single day coming forward…I’ll be fine.