Chapter Twenty-Three #2
Letting out a shaky breath, I opened my eyes to find Kieran watching me. “He’s not an animal,” I said, and I wasn’t sure why I’d said it, but I needed to. “I don’t know what he is, but he’s not that. He’s not a monster.”
“No, he’s not.” His head tilted to the side. “I think you would’ve liked him if you had met him before all of this.”
Uncomfortable with how much I would’ve preferred that, I folded one arm over my waist.
A sad, wry smile formed on Kieran’s face, almost as if he knew what I was thinking. “I imagine a lot would be different.”
I nodded slowly, pulling myself out of the well of sorrow that was a cavern in my chest. “Why hasn’t he fed? There were Atlantians at the keep, right? There are Atlantians here.”
Kieran nodded. “There are many he could’ve fed from but he hasn’t.”
“Why? Why would he let it get to this point?”
He raised an eyebrow. “That’s a damn good question, isn’t it?”
My damn good question didn’t have an answer, and it plagued me as I washed up and dressed in the baggy pants and the deep green tunic that had been in the bundle Quentyn had given me.
Other unanswered questions bothered me, as well.
Why wouldn’t Casteel have fed? Were the nightmares also partly responsible for the cutting sadness that clung to him?
If this was him not too close to the edge, then what was he like when he was at the edge?
What would’ve happened if he hadn’t…well, fed from me differently?
And why in the world had I allowed him, when he was obviously not in his right mind, to do what he’d done? And why had he done that? Did bloodlust elicit such actions? Or was it because he’d sensed my arousal? My cheeks burned, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to that question.
Either way, I had been wrong when I said that I didn’t have a death wish. Because what if he had been teetering on that edge and he’d used that mouth for something else?
My stomach dipped as I ran a brush through my tangled hair.
In the soft lamplight, the strands reminded me more of a ruby-hued wine than a blazing fire, like it often did in the sun.
I angled my head to the side. The bite marks were no longer visible, but I left my hair down anyway and then stepped back into the bedchamber.
Kieran stood by the terrace doors, staring out them. I wasn’t exactly surprised to see that he was still here. “Are you on babysitting duty? I agreed to the marriage,” I said as I picked up the thigh sheath. The word marriage still sounded strange on my tongue. “I’m not going to run.”
He turned to me. “I was waiting to see if you’d like to get some breakfast.”
“Oh.” I slid the wolven dagger into the holder and then straightened the hem of the tunic. The top was more form-fitting than I was used to, but it was clean. I glanced at the door. “Should we...should we wait for Casteel?”
He turned to me. “That won’t be necessary. He’ll find us when he’s ready.”
I nibbled on my lower lip. It didn’t feel right to go off when he was…well, going through whatever he was. And it also felt weird to be so concerned about him.
“Are you hungry right now?” Kieran asked, dragging my attention back to him. “Or would you like to see the Bay?”
“The Bay,” I chose, knowing my stomach was still too tied up in knots to eat anything yet.
“Good.” Kieran turned and opened the door.
Warmer air than I expected greeted us as we walked outside and across the yard. Within a few moments, I shoved the sleeves of my sweater up. “I didn’t expect it to be this nice here—weather-wise.”
“Next to Carsodonia, we’re at the most southern part of Solis. It’ll get cooler at night, especially as the season turns, but the days will remain pleasant.”
“Just like the capital.” I tipped my head back, letting the sun wash over my face as I heard the sound of distant voices and laughter coming from what I assumed was beyond the fortress. “Were you at the capital with Casteel?”
“For a time, yes. I wasn’t exactly a fan,” he said, and I glanced over at him with a raised brow. He shrugged a shoulder. “Too many Ascended. Too many people crowded together.”
“And there aren’t too many people crowded in Atlantia?” I asked as we walked past a crumbling stone wall. The black waters of Stygian Bay glittered like pools of obsidian, still and vast. It went on as far as I could see, disappearing into the horizon.
“Not yet, but if we continue growing, our cities will be as crowded.”
Reaching the top of a slight hill, I turned, unable to see anything beyond the fortress walls. “But you have Spessa’s End.”
Kieran nodded, and I still couldn’t believe that there was anything here.
I started down the hill, and the grass gave way to sand.
There was no damp scent as we drew close to the broken piers that jutted up from the water like decayed fingers.
The air smelled of lavender, except I saw none of the purple-tipped plants.
I stared at the lifeless, midnight waters, wondering when or if the god that slumbered within the Bay would wake.
If so, what would the God of Common Men and Endings think of the world he’d left behind, of what was being done to the mortals he cared for in death?
Looking down, a sudden urge swept through me. “It has been years since I felt sand under my feet.”
“Now is a better time than any to feel it again, I suppose.”
His dry response didn’t deter me as I yanked off my boots and socks. A grin tugged at my lips as I wiggled my toes in the warm, coarse sand.
Kieran snorted. “Malik used the do the same as soon as he reached the sand. Tear off his shoes so he could feel it against his feet.”
A heaviness settled over me as I walked toward the Bay, leaving my shoes and socks behind in a pile. “What was Malik like? I mean, what is he like?”
Kieran followed a few steps behind me, silent for a long moment. “He was kind and generous but also a wicked prankster. Casteel was always the far more serious one.” He joined me. “He was the brother you would’ve thought was being groomed from birth to be King.”
Casteel, the serious one? That surprised me more than the fact that a god slept in the Bay.
My thoughts must’ve been visible on my face because he said, “The way Casteel is with you—the teasing and trying to get a rise out of you—isn’t how he is with most.”
“So, it’s an act?”
“No, Casteel is just more…alive when he’s with you,” he said, and I—
I thought my jaw might hit the sand.
“And Malik was the life and soul of the family,” Kieran continued. I picked my mouth up off the ground. “And the past tense is correct. Even if he lives, he will not be who he used to be.”
“But he’ll have his family to help him remember—his parents, Casteel, you,” I reasoned. “All of you can help him remember who he once was.”
Kieran didn’t respond.
I looked at him. “Do you…do you think he still lives?”
“He has to. Even if the vamprys have been capturing Atlantians all these years, full-blooded or half, they would not allow the Prince to die. With him, it takes less blood to complete the Ascension. He’s too much of a prize to let wither and die.”
Stomach churning, I briefly closed my eyes. While a large part of me hoped he still lived, a small part almost wished he didn’t. Whatever existence he had under the Ascended’s control was no life.
The question that was already answered surfaced again. How could the Ascended be allowed to continue?
They couldn’t be.
If Casteel and I were successful, then would I seriously be content spending the rest of my life safely hidden away while the Ascended continued ruling the people of Solis with fear?
Stealing their children and who knew how many other people?
If the Queen and King lived or died, wouldn’t the other Ascended simply find another Atlantian to continue making more Ascended, even if it were forbidden?
Casteel wanted to avoid war, but how could anyone be sure that the Royals would change? That they wouldn’t seek to go back to the way things were?
Kieran shifted slightly, looking over his shoulder. I followed his gaze, squinting. Three or four people walked past the crumbling walls, their clothing a vibrant array of golds and blues.
“Who are they?”
“Not entirely sure who they are,” Kieran answered, turning back around. “But most of the people here are older Descenters and Atlantians and wolven.”
I watched them until I could no longer see them, my stomach twisting into tiny knots. How would they respond to me? Friendly and outgoing like Elijah and Alastir, or would they be like the rest?
“Casteel and I came here once when we were younger, before the town was razed,” Kieran said, catching my attention.
“It was one of the first times we’d left Atlantia.
Malik was with us, and the people who lived here, those who were half-Atlantian or supporters knew who we were and behaved as if Rhain himself had risen from the Bay. ”
Not one but two Princes in their midst must have stirred up some excitement.
“A lot of people crowded the edges of the Bay.” He squinted as if he were trying to see what had once been here. “A small girl slipped on the embankment and fell into the water. There was panic and helplessness as everyone stood at the edge.”
I sat down, several feet from the water’s edge. “No one jumped in after her?”
He shook his head. “No mortal enters these waters and returns. The people believed that Rhain’s sentries would capture anyone who dared, grabbing their ankles and pulling them down below.
” One side of his lips quirked up in a wry grin as he lowered himself to the spot beside me.
“But Cas jumped in. Didn’t even think twice about it.
Just dove right in, even though the girl had slipped under and hadn’t resurfaced. ”
I turned back to the Bay. “Did he find her?”