Chapter Twenty-Eight
A sylph messenger arrives with a formal, sealed letter only moments later. It’s for Luthian.
He snatches it and orders the being away from his door.
I sit beside the fire, wrapped in a blanket, unwilling to do anything more. Though Luthian has healed me, there are wounds that cannot be tended to with magic. My body can be made whole, but my spirit is exhausted.
Firo stays by my side, and I’m glad for his presence. I hate that he’s captured Luthian’s heart, but I’m glad for his friendship, nevertheless. I have a strong feeling that I’ll need to rely on him more than ever in the coming days.
“What is it?” Firo asks as we watch Luthian scan the page.
“A royal summons. I’m to meet with Arcus to discuss my payment for my crimes against the court, and the terms of my permanent return.” He folds the letter and pushes it into his jacket pocket.
“Payment for your crimes?” A hysterical sob rises in my throat at the thought of Luthian in the grips of that terrible creature. I must force it back to ask, “He doesn’t mean that you’ll... that thing...”
Luthian shakes his head. “No. I don’t think so. But I’ve survived that once before.”
My stomach turns. Luthian endured the same humiliation and torture as I did? No wonder he looked so haunted when I told him what Arcus had done. My heart aches for my guardian and I long to embrace him, but I can’t find the strength of will to make my limbs move.
“He’s going to tell Luthian that he’s separating the two of you. So that Arcus can take you as his queen,” Firo says, glancing up at Luthian. “There has been talk of little else, today.”
Luthian grimaces. “So soon?”
I nod. “He’s going to announce the engagement tonight.”
“Which means that this is the last time the three of us will all be together,” Firo points out. “He’ll remove you from Luthian’s quarters immediately upon the announcement. And I don’t expect him to allow the two of you to have contact.”
“Which is why you must help us,” Luthian says, his hands curling to fists. “Firo, I cannot risk her falling into that creature’s clutches again.”
Separated from Luthian? I can’t breathe. “No!”
My outburst startles the faeries.
“Cenere,” Luthian begins, his voice thick with emotion.
“No, it cannot be. I can’t... I can’t...” Whatever small spark of strength and dignity that was left in me after the horrors of the morning is doused. I throw myself at Luthian’s feet. “Don’t make me go!”
“This isn’t something either of us can stop,” Firo says gently, laying a comforting hand on my back. “You will be safe, as long as you do whatever Arcus asks of you.”
“I did what he asked,” I sobbed. “I did everything that he asked, and he punished me for something that I did before we were betrothed!”
“Arcus is an unreasonable, unpredictable tyrant,” Luthian says, and reaches down to lift me to my feet. “You are better than him. Better at playing the game. Better at hiding the truth of your feelings. Better in every other way. I know that you can do this.”
I shake my head, ready to deny him again.
“You can do it.”
Please, don’t say that I was born for this, I think, for I could not stop myself from asking the truth behind his words if he utters them.
Instead, he leans his forehead against mine. “I know what you endured today. Even knowing that, I would have taken your place. But what’s done is done, and we have reached the point of no return. You will leave me tonight and go to Arcus. You will simper and praise him and please him and do nothing to evoke his wrath. I promise you; this will be over soon.”
A point of no return. We can’t simply disappear from court now; Arcus would look for me, I am certain of it. The only choice before me now is to live to see the king assassinated or die myself. Because I refuse to ever again experience what I suffered today.
I wipe my own tears away and step back from him. “We came here to do a job. You thought I was capable enough when you chose me for it. I would hate to let you down, now. Go to your meeting.”
He looks to Firo, as if pleading for another solution.
“Go,” Firo says softly. “I’ll take care of her.”
Still, Luthian hesitates.
I place a hand on his chest, feel the warmth of his body beneath his clothes. We are on a treacherous path now. We have always been, though I did not appreciate the danger before. He covers my hand with his, and I close my eyes. “Go, Luthian.”
“If this is the last time we see each other,” he begins.
I shake my head. “It won’t be. Go.”
He lifts my hand to his lips and brushes a kiss across my knuckles before he disappears.
My shoulders sag and I double over, hugging myself but unable to cry.
“Come on,” Firo says, putting a steadying arm around me. “You need to be beautiful for the announcement tonight.”
My eyes are puffy, my face likely red around the nose from my weeping. I laugh and hear the thickness of water lingering in my lungs.
“We can fix all this,” Firo promises as he leads me toward the stairs. “We’ll make you so beautiful and so strong, Arcus will fear you.”
* * * *
The royal throne room is even more crowded the second time I enter it. Luthian is at my side, but his presence is not a comfort now. He is to deliver me to the king, to be humbled before the entire court.
The splendor of the room, which overwhelmed me the first time I saw it, is even more dazzling now. Everyone is dressed in their finest, heaped with jewels, skin shimmering, wings aflutter.
Every eye is on me as I walk beside Luthian. He’s dressed all in black, as if in mourning. I managed to write a cheerful note to the king, asking what color he’d decided on for the night’s festivities, and I’ve dressed to match him. The satin of my gown is the same wine hue as his velvet doublet, and the jeweled choker around my neck—more like a collar, considering the event—winks with garnets to match those in his golden crown. He sees me from the dais and rises, extending a hand.
An image flashes through my mind, so vivid I’m afraid it’s truly happening. I see myself clinging to Luthian, begging to break our agreement, asking him to take me away from this place.
It’s too late. It was too late this morning. It’s certainly too late, now, with every eye in the court upon me.
Pretending to be cold to Luthian is easy; it means I don’t have to give him one last look or trust myself not to weep as we part. I don’t spare him even a glance as I drift from him toward the dais, my expression joyously serene.
“I have the pleasure to announce to you all tonight that you shall have a new queen.” Arcus takes my hand as I climb the shallow steps, the murmurs and polite audible interest of the court rising behind me. The announcement stirs them to applause, which Arcus quiets with a gesture so that he can continue. “Cenere has agreed to leave her faithless mate and join herself to me. From this moment on, she is not a simple human courtesan or a court plaything. She is your queen, even before the coronation ceremony. Any who touch her without my permission will face severe consequences.”
I would think that a threat like that would dampen a party, but the courtiers seem to find it amusing. Someone calls out, “Huzzah!” and the rest follow suit.
Arcus wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close to his side. His breath stirs a tendril of hair near my ear. “They love you, Cenere. They will worship you as you deserve to be worshipped.”
I’ve never thought, even once, that I deserve worship. What a ridiculous expectation for anyone to have. But I flutter my lashes at him and smile sweetly.
He doesn’t need words in response. I’m sure he’s already decided what I feel.
Addressing the court once more, Arcus announces, “A celebratory feast has been prepared, with entertainments from the farthest reaches of Fablemere. Go, be merry. Celebrate my good fortune and the justice that has been dealt to my enemy.”
Luthian lowers his head as if defeated.
“Luthian of Mithrax is now reinstated to the Court of Pleasure and Torment, with full privileges and honors. What little of the latter he has displayed,” Arcus continues.
Bowing low, Luthian says, “I thank Your Majesty profoundly.”
“I thank you.” Arcus’s fingers skate over the tops of my breasts above the low neckline of my gown. “For your understanding. Not every faery could withstand the humiliation of his mate preferring another.”
Ah, so that’s the line . My mouth twists with distaste. Arcus would have the court believe that I chose to leave my mate. The king’s ego will never be satisfied.
“Go forth!” Arcus calls out. “Feast!”
Doors on both sides of the hall open in unison. Light, colors, delicious smells and enticing music swirl beyond each one. The party seems to spread through the entire palace.
“Oh, Arcus,” I breathe, tilting my chin up to gaze at him adoringly. “This is far too much. I am not worthy of such—”
“Nonsense.” His lips find my throat. “You deserve to live in splendor for the rest of your mortal days.”
My mortal days. I’m lucky, at least, that I will age and die and escape him, should the assassination plot not work out.
It will work, I promise myself. I am queen of the Court of Pleasure and Torment. Or, will be. And once I am able, I will use that power to punish Cadwyn Thrace.
What then?
It’s a question I haven’t asked myself until this moment. Once I kill Thrace, will I return to Elegwyn Manor, with its rotting walls and leaking roof? Will I be content to tend it and live quietly, now that I’ve seen and experienced all that I have?
Will I be able to live without Luthian at my side? For once we achieve our mutual end and Cassan is on the throne, he will be gone from my life, probably forever.
I search the crowd for him and see that he’s already gone. Vanished, I assume, back to the house I have come to think of as home.
“Come,” Arcus says, shocking me out of my grim revelation. “I would show you your new chambers.”
“But the party, Your Majesty,” I say, already hearing moans of ecstasy from the open doorways.
Not that I will be allowed to partake in any of that particular type of entertainment. Arcus has made that gruelingly clear.
“We’ll come back,” he promises. “I wouldn’t abandon my own celebration. But I have a gift for you, as well.”
A bejeweled chastity belt? I think to myself with a mean little giggle that Arcus interprets as a laugh meant for him. He beams down at me and waves a hand.
We are no longer on the dais, but in a blindingly white room that makes me shield my eyes from the light. Pure white flame flickers in sconces on the walls, between mirrors that stretch from the white granite floors to the swirling ornamentations on the ceiling overhead. In the center of the room is an enormous, round bed, made up all in white, beneath a skylight shaped like a many-pointed star. The dark sky overhead is the only color, aside from that of our reflections, reproduced hundreds of times in endless tunnels as the mirrors look into each other.
I turn to Arcus in exaggerated wonder. “This is my room?”
“Your own private sanctuary.” He nods beyond the bed; a large, empty basin in the shape of a crescent moon curves around it, with steps to descend inside. “That will be filled with water from the very faery bath where I fell in love with you.”
It would be grand and romantic if I did not loathe him so.
There is a knock, and Arcus calls, “Enter,” rubbing his hands together. “And now, the gift.”
A sylph enters, carrying a mirrored box tied with an enormous white bow, and stops before me.
Arcus gives me a sly look and nods.
I pull the ribbon with a giddy laugh, preparing to ooh! and aah! over the jewels inside. But when the ribbon releases, the sides of the box fall open to reveal something that kills the smile on my face.
Cadwyn Thrace’s head.
“I hope you like it,” Arcus says, self-congratulatory pride dripping from each word like a rancid syrup.
I am numb. I am faint. I am furious and grief-stricken all at once. My beautiful revenge has been snatched from me. The only thing I sought when I entered into my bargain with Luthian has been stolen by this disgusting worm of a faery who watches proudly while my dreams are shattered.
The effort it takes to force down my disappointed tears exhausts me. How I manage to pretend that I’m grateful, I cannot fathom. I turn to Arcus and fall to my knees before him, bowing my head. “I do not deserve you, Arcus. You are more to me than I could ever possibly dream. There is no way I can repay you for the honors you’ve bestowed upon me.”
“You needn’t repay me.” He places a hand on the back of my head, chuckling, and one hand works the laces of his breeches. “But if you wished to thank me…”
I smile up at him, feeling nothing but cold emptiness beneath my skin. “Of course, my beloved king.”
This time, when he takes me, I cannot escape into my fantasy of vengeance, because he has destroyed it.
And he has destroyed me with it.