Chapter Thirteen
A kiss?
Gideon knew this would be the most reckless thing he could ever do. There would be no taking back that kiss.
And where would they go from there? Into his bed?
He was aching to do this, but he refused to take Berry outside of the bonds of marriage.
And marriage for them was out of the question, at least for now.
He drew away. “There are a thousand reasons why a kiss between us is a bad idea.”
“But you already kissed me that day I stormed over to your house to complain about the noise.”
“And almost had a beam fall atop your head,” he said with a grumble. “That kiss did not count.”
“Why wouldn’t it count?”
“Because I only kissed you on behalf of the orphans at St. Brigid’s, and not for myself.”
“It was still your lips.”
“But not my heart, not at that precise moment. It took several days before my brain understood what my heart acknowledged at first glance.”
Yes, this had been quite a shock for him. He’d never expected love to work so fast. Wasn’t it supposed to start slowly and build over time? Instead, it had struck him in an instant, like a well-aimed cannonball to the chest.
He raked a hand through his hair. “Here’s another truth…I wasn’t completely honest about the dancing.”
She shook her head in obvious confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Bonham and I have been taking lessons from a dance instructor by the name of Miss Feswick.”
Berry let out a trill of laughter. “Old Feswick? She was my dance instructor in the year before I made my debut. I knew it! Isn’t she awful?
I thought the set of your arms was suspicious.
Elbows pointed outward. Hands curled inward.
But I will admit you had me fooled for a while.
But the way you mastered that last series of hops, skips, and glissades was just too much.
It took me weeks to get those figure formations just right, and you had the moves perfected within minutes. ”
“Why did you not call me out on the deception?”
“I thought you might be embarrassed if I did. After all, you have a bad reputation to uphold. How would it look if others knew that a big, strapping man like you who runs gaming hells and is not afraid to plunge into a bare-knuckle fight against multiple opponents was taking dance lessons?”
“You were protecting my reputation?”
She nodded. “I would never do anything to shame or hurt you.”
This girl.
Did she have to be so sweet? He fell deeper in love with her every time they met.
“It is the same way I feel about your reputation, Berry. Your good reputation. I will never do anything to destroy it. Perhaps in time those in the ton will come to accept me, but they will not do so now. Lord Berwick played a dangerous game in appointing me his successor trustee, but I suppose he was right in guessing that having a business relation with you is something the ton will accept. But as to matters of the heart? They would sooner accept your having an affair with me than marrying me. It is the marriage that would destroy your good standing.”
“You would marry me?”
He nodded. “If it were possible, I would already have the license in hand. But right now, we both know it is impossible. You would lose all hope of maintaining your respectability, and the orphanage would suffer for it. So, how can I ask you to choose me over the ton? This might change in time, but it would be too much of a scandal for you to survive right now.”
He took her gently by the arm. “Gather your things and let’s head to that warehouse on the docks. Is Miss Garland well enough to chaperone you?”
“No, I’ll have my maid join us. Harriet will have to do for now because Miss Garland isn’t getting any better. But I do not have the heart to pension her off just yet. She still thinks she is able to look after me.”
“You are very kind, Berry.”
“So are you.” She smiled at him. “Look at all the orphans you’ve hired, and helped get their footing in this harsh world. I’ve never met anyone more loyal or considerate. But I will not reveal that secret to anyone.”
“Do not make a saint out of me. I am not softhearted. I protect the people that matter to me, and treat people the way they treat me. If that makes you think I am kind, then so be it. But I am not a kind person. Come along, let’s go to that warehouse. Do you have plans for this evening?”
“Yes, but it is just a dinner party with some close friends of Lord and Lady Berwick,” she replied.
“You needn’t concern yourself about that.
I know for certain Lord Hawthorne is not invited.
The Berwicks will pick me up in their carriage around seven o’clock and drop me off at home again, probably around midnight.
Since Lord Berwick can be as apishly protective as you, he will walk me to my door and make certain I am safely inside before he walks away. ”
“All right,” he said with some reluctance.
He could not imprison Berry just to assuage his own concerns. And wasn’t an intimate supper at some lord’s house safe enough? He could even get in a few hours of work at the Musket Club while she was at her party.
“Berry, I’m not sorry I told you of my feelings.
It is vital that you know how important you are to me.
I don’t want you ever hesitating to come to me or confide in me.
I will do all in my power to protect you or help you work through a problem.
But this is all I can offer you for now.
Perhaps it shall always be this way. Only time will tell. ”
“I know.”
She summoned Harriet, and the three of them rode in silence as his carriage made its way through the busy London streets toward the bustling dockside.
Berry’s maid was so enthralled by this unexpected outing that she spent the entire ride peering out the window to view the streets, which were teeming with activity, and paid no attention to Berry or him.
Gideon could have hauled Berry onto his lap and kissed her senseless, and Harriet would not have noticed a thing.
Of course, he was not going to kiss Berry. Not now or any time in the near future. No matter how desperately he wished to crush his mouth to her soft lips.
He wanted to do the right thing. He had to do the right thing for Berry’s sake. But he was no bloody martyr.
Resisting her was going to be difficult. She’d asked him to kiss her.
He strained against the leather squabs, suddenly feeling too confined. How was it possible for a man to fall so quickly or so hard for a woman? Did everyone in love feel a similar physical ache from wanting the person they loved so badly?
They arrived at the warehouse, which was one of the largest along the docks. Harriet remained with the coachman, Brent, and the armed footmen while he and Berry walked inside.
The proprietor ran out of his office to greet them. “Lady Berry! A pleasure to see you.” Apparently, everyone knew Berry.
“Mr. Dunning, how are you? And your lovely wife and daughter?”
“Fine, fine. Excellent. How may I help you?”
Berry introduced Gideon to the man who appeared to be in his early fifties, judging by the sparse tufts of white on his balding head. Upon his hearing Gideon’s name, his eyes rounded in surprise. “Ah, welcome, Mr. Knight. I did not realize you and Lady Berry were acquainted.”
“Yes, he is my new neighbor and I insisted on bringing him here,” she said. “Only the best will do for the houses on Duchess Square. We are interested in seeing your malachite.”
Dunning led them to the back of his vast warehouse. “Here is my entire supply.”
Gideon watched as Berry perused the samples and then charmed the man into reducing his price, although he did not think it was quite the bargain she believed.
After all, Dunning had to make a decent profit.
And Berry, as sweet as she was, came from money.
The man had probably raised his prices in order to appear as though he would then lower them as a favor to her.
But Gideon was not going to suggest this to Berry and disappoint her. She looked so proud of herself.
After selecting the quantity and ordering that it be cut in a particular design, even giving precise measurements that she must have taken at some point when visiting his house, they moved on to the wood flooring.
She selected a dozen samples that Dunning assured them would be delivered to Gideon’s residence first thing in the morning.
“Thank you, Mr. Dunning. And please give your wife and daughter my warmest regards.”
“I certainly will, Lady Berry.”
She walked out seeming quite triumphant about her accomplishments.
“How do you know Dunning and his family?” Gideon asked as they climbed back in his carriage.
“His wife is one of the orphans from St. Brigid’s that my grandfather helped place back in the day. She went to work as a cook in the Dunning household.”
“Ah, the way to a man’s heart,” he said with a chuckle.
Berry grinned. “Yes, precisely. Mr. Dunning fell in love with her cooking and then fell in love with her. It was a small household, and they were a family of tradesmen who did not find it necessary to put on airs. Mr. Dunning’s father was not enthralled about the match, at first.”
“Because she was an orphan and he had no idea about her family background.”
“Yes, but he was not immune to her cooking skills, and she quickly won him over.” She cast him a soft look. “I’m glad they found their happiness. They were a love match and still are after all these years.”
Gideon was not about to pursue that discussion. Berry was too much of a romantic. Any talk of love, especially one like theirs that was not meant to be, would have her in tears. “You did not mention who was hosting this evening’s dinner party.”
“The Berwicks and I were invited by Lord Folger in celebration of his birthday. It is to be held at the Claremont Inn.”
Gideon’s back went up. “The Claremont?”
“Yes.” She frowned. “What’s wrong? You do not look pleased. It has an excellent reputation. I’ve dined there a time or two, and the food is quite good.”