Chapter Fourteen #3
“Henry brought you to my club through a back entrance,” he said, continuing to run his big, roughened hands over her body with exquisite care.
“None of the patrons saw you, and no one on my staff is going to tattle. They would never betray you. But if gossip somehow spreads, then rest assured I will do all in my power to save your reputation.”
“How? Nothing short of marriage would remove the scandal.”
“Then I’ll marry you. Assuming you will have me. As for me, I have been ready to marry you since the day you stormed over to my house to complain about the noise. To bloody hell what anyone thinks. I love you and will always protect you.”
She had been hearing love declarations from gentlemen for many years now, but this was the first time the declaration sounded sincere.
Perhaps because it was given under the most unromantic circumstances possible. No moonlit garden. No gentle night breeze. She had just cast up her accounts and was drooling out of the side of her mouth while about to pass out on Gideon’s lap.
He must have been thinking the same, because he gave a soft, laughing groan while carefully easing her back onto the pillows. “Not quite how I expected to declare my love for you.”
“Worst circumstances ever,” she agreed, casting him a wan smile. “Gideon, please tell me this feeling between us is real. Don’t say things you think I want to hear because I am hurt and need to be reassured.”
“It’s real, love. And agonizing. I cannot get you out of my heart. And now to see you wounded like this… I wish I could take all of your pain upon myself.”
“You needn’t turn into a martyr.”
“It is no more than any man would do for the woman he loved.”
She burst into tears.
“Oh, Berry. I’m sorry. What did I say? I only meant to soothe you.”
“You have. I’ve never felt such happiness,” she blubbered.
“These are happy tears because you are the best man in the world and you love me. Me? We should not be a fit at all. How can we be so perfect for each other? Yet we are. I love every moment I am with you. My heart is yours forever, Gideon. I want you to know this. Always. To the end of time. And I really think we ought to kiss again. But not until I’ve cleaned up and my breath no longer feels like a dozen dragons turned my mouth into a chamber pot for their use. ”
“You’ll have your kiss.” He wiped her mouth with one of the damp cloths, or perhaps he’d taken another clean one to dampen and use on her.
She was going to go through his entire inventory at this rate.
“You are such a kitten. That’s what you are to me.
A sweet, beautiful kitten with big emerald eyes and a tinge of strawberry in your hair.
Bonham laughed so hard when I told him. But that’s what you’ve done, curled up in my heart.
It is you I want. Only you. I couldn’t care less about your money.
Give it all over to the orphanage, if you wish.
That ought to keep them going for years, even if no one else ever donates another shilling.
I’ll provide for you, and you will never lack for anything. ”
She had never heard such ache in anyone’s voice. “Gideon, there is one promise I must have from you.”
“About your trust fund?” he asked. “I meant it when I said I will never touch your money. I’ll put it in writing and have the document witnessed, if that is your concern.”
“Not that. I want your promise that you will kiss me before I die.”
He inhaled sharply. “You are not going to die.”
“I hope that’s true.” But she ached everywhere, especially her head. And now her stomach was churning again.
“I’ve told you I would kiss you.”
“And you had better make it the best kiss ever given in the annals of time,” she said, feeling a more pronounced roil in her unsettled stomach.
“I’ll do my best.” He cast her a gentle smile as he gave her cheek a light caress, unaware she was beginning to feel nauseated again.
How could there be anything left to come out?
She sat up, hoping this would make her feel better. “Because I will never forgive you if I pass away and you don’t kiss me.”
His arms came around her, those strong, solid arms that now held her protectively. “I’ll kiss you, Berry. I give you my oath.”
“And not like that first kiss. I’ll hit you if you pick me up by the armpits.”
His laugh was mingled with a groan. “I’ll wrap you in my arms and hold you tight to my body.”
“You have a nice body.”
“So do you.”
“Yours is spectacular.” She rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, for this felt so good.
“So is yours,” he said in an affectionate whisper as she nestled comfortably in his arms.
His body felt warm and masculine. She breathed in his familiar sandalwood scent, and especially appreciated the light citrus overtones that seemed to soothe her stomach as she inhaled it on his skin.
He ran his knuckles lightly along her cheek. “Keep talking to me. It is dangerous to fall asleep when you’ve been hit as hard over the head as you have been.”
“I cannot think of what else to say.” She had her eyes closed because it hurt too much to keep them open.
“Tell me about your childhood. Did your family always reside on Duchess Square?”
“Yes, mostly. But we often spent the yuletide with my grandfather on his estate. Occasionally, we visited my eccentric granduncle. Everyone would snap to attention and scurry to Broadingham whenever he commanded it.”
“Why?”
“Well, he was the duke. No one was going to countermand his orders.”
“You are related to a duke?”
“Yes.”
Had he just gasped?
“He’s a cantankerous old goat that neither my grandfather nor my father ever liked. Nor did they ever trust him, and never considered having him take care of me when he could not even take care of himself.”
“Dear heaven.”
She eased back a little, still secure in his embrace, and looked up at him.
“I haven’t seen him since my parents died.
He never sent for me, nor did he ever make the slightest effort to come down to London to see me.
He was too busy getting married. He’s gone through five wives, although I think he never bothered to actually marry two of them.
Why are you grumbling, Gideon? What difference does it make?
He never wanted anything to do with me.”
Gideon gently set her back against the pillows and raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I never thought about your ancestry. Not that it matters, I suppose. Dukedoms are not carried down through the female line. It is only the male heirs that matter.”
“Um…well…not Broadingham. It is a ducal grant descended from Eleanor of Aquitaine’s lineage. It is quite possible that the title will fall to me. It is one of those rare grants allowing a female blood heir to take the title of duchess in her own right. Did Lord Berwick never mention it to you?”
“No,” he said sharply.
“Well, if there are no surviving heirs in my granduncle’s line, male or female, then I would become the next duchess.”
“Blessed saints.”
“You sound angry.”
“Why should I be angry? I am not angry. Not with you,” he said, still grumbling. “Berry, you’re a duchess?”
“Not yet, and probably never.”
“But it is just as probable that you could be?”
She shivered. Why was he getting so worked up over the possibility?
When she asked him, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I was found on a cobblestone street. I have no idea who I am or where I was born. I have been in turmoil, struggling to make myself worthy for Lady Berry. And now I am learning you, the woman who has captured my heart, could be the next Duchess of Broadingham. As if that isn’t bad enough, you can trace your ancestry back to a queen of England. A queen, Berry.”
“It isn’t my fault.”
“No, it is completely mine for thinking it was possible to overcome our differences and make a life together.”
She burst into tears. “You said you loved me. I will not allow you to take it back.”
“Berry—”
“And what if we were to have children? Would you love them any less because they are in line to become a duke or duchess?”
“Oh, Lord. Berry, that is even worse. A jest for the ages. That my son could be a duke?”
“Or your daughter a duchess,” she reminded him. “But a child is a child and deserving of love no matter his or her lineage. Are you now putting up conditions to your love?”
“No, I love you and will continue to love you until I take my dying breath. That hasn’t changed and never will.
Same applies to any children we might have.
But Berry, you are so high above me. You are the stars in the celestial heaven and I am a speck of dust within an abyss. How can I drag you into my dark hole?”
“I would go willingly. Persephone did the same for Hades. Ow. My head hurts. I don’t want to talk about this. You are sounding too much like Lord Hawthorne now, spouting all these nonsensical rules the ton has created to keep us apart.”
“All right, love. I’m sorry I’ve upset you. We’ll work it out.”
“There is nothing to work out,” she said, allowing her thoughts to spill out, since he had told her that she needed to stay awake and talk.
Well, she was going to give him an earful.
“I am not going to marry some idiot lord because the ton has decided he is suitable. Who are they to guide my destiny? Or ever decide the rules of marriage when so few of them ever keep to their vows? Even the patronesses at Almack’s are having notorious affairs outside of their marriage bonds.
And yet we are supposed to bow to them and beg to be allowed to dance a waltz?
Am I to follow the advice of people who do not love, honor, or ever obey the vows they have made to their spouses? ”