Chapter 4
C aroline wasn’t sure how long she remained in the room. Her head was spinning and for a moment she wondered if this was real, or if she was lost in some kind of nightmare. Laird Knox was terrifying. Was her fate to be married to a man she did not love? It seemed as though she was either destined to be with her uncle or Knox, with no chance of anything in between.
Eventually, she staggered out of the room and was faced with a guard. He had a mean look on his face and escorted her back to her room. Nessa and Tara were already waiting for her. They rushed up to her and drew her to the bed, noticing how weak she looked. Twilight filtered in through the window, filling the room with pale light.
“They forced us tae leave as soon as ye left the room. They dinnae even allow us tae bring our plates with us! What did he want tae talk with ye about?” Nessa asked.
Caroline took a moment to compose herself. “He wants tae marry me. He said that he will offer us protection in return for my hand.”
Nessa and Tara both gasped. “What? But he hates our clan. Why would he want ye tae be his wife?”
“I dinnae know. But it was a serious offer. And I hae until dawn tae decide.”
“What are ye gaeing tae dae?” Tara asked.
“I dinnae know,” Caroline repeated. It felt as though these words were becoming a mantra for her. “Can I trust him? What is he gaeing tae want from me?”
“Ye cannae accept. He will nae want anything good. If ye accept this offer, then ye will be married tae a brute for the rest of yer life. Ye will be condemning yerself! Ye cannae dae this, Caroline,” Nessa said in a desperate voice.
She already knew that Caroline was willing to sacrifice herself. This was just an alternative to death. Caroline placed her hands in her lap and spoke in a low tone.
“Perhaps that is a worthy trade if it means ye are safe. If I speak tae him again I can guarantee yer survival, and as his wife I may even command some influence among the guards and the Keep,” Caroline replied, trying to justify the choice to herself.
Nessa looked at her as though she were crazy.
“Ye will command nae authority here! Did ye hear him say that this place could be like a prison? Ye will still be locked in this Keep, but it will be by wedding vows rather than chains. Dae ye think he will keep any promises he makes? Ye took us away from home tae avoid being married tae a tyrant. Why are ye nae sae willing tae make a deal with one?” Nessa’s words hurtled through the air like arrows.
Caroline’s head twisted up.
“Because I dinnae know what else tae dae! I need tae keep ye safe. That is the only thing that matters tae me and if this is the only way, then sae be it. I will marry him, as long as ye two are given the opportunity tae leave.”
“We cannae leave ye,” Tara said weakly.
“Ye said that whatever fate awaits us, we meet taegether,” Nessa added, her face set with determination.
“I lied,” Caroline admitted. “I will nae allow ye tae suffer when I can prevent it.”
“And why dae ye get tae make that decision, but we are nae given the same luxury?”
“Because I am the eldest. Da and Ma are dead. I am the head of this family now, and I hae tae make the hard decisions. Even if I am condemned tae marriage here, I will nae be in misery because I know that ye will be out there somewhere, living free lives and unburdened by yer past. I can hae it written intae the vows sae that it will be a legal matter and he cannae gae against it.”
“He is the Laird! He can gae against anything he wants,” Nessa protested.
“Where are we supposed tae gae? Uncle will still be looking for us,” Tara said, nipping her lower lip.
“Ye can cut yer hair and change its color. Change yer appearance. Take different names. Find passage tae the other side of the country, or even down intae England. He is nae gaeing tae chase ye all yer lives,” Caroline replied strenuously.
“But I dinnae want tae change,” Tara lamented.
“Caroline, ye must see that this is madness. Ye saw the way he is! Last night I thought he was gaeing tae throttle us. He threatened tae kill us, and now he wants tae marry ye. What is he gaeing tae want taemorrow? He is dangerous. Ye cannae stay here.”
“I dinnae hae a choice.” Caroline flailed her arms in frustration and rose from the bed, striding towards the window. She took a breath to gather herself and then spoke again.
“Believe me, I dinnae like this anymore than ye two, but I have tae think about what’s best for us all. If two of us hae the chance tae be happy, then the other must suffer.”
“But only if the other is ye,” Nessa spoke bitterly, folding her arms over her chest and shaking her head. Caroline offered a resigned smile and shrugged.
“It’s the way it hae tae be.”
“Nae, I refuse tae accept it.”
Caroline walked up to her sister and put her hand on Nessa’s shoulder, looking deep into her eyes. “Nessa, ye hae always been a fighter. This quality hae served ye well, and ye are gaeing tae need it in abundance for the future because ye are gaeing tae need tae keep Tara safe. But sometimes fighting only makes things worse. Laird Knox could hae killed us, but instead he gave me a choice. It’s nae much of a choice, aye, I’ll concede that, but it’s better than death.”
“Is it?” Nessa challenged.
Caroline flinched slightly. She drew her hand away and instinctively brought it to the hollow of her throat, where she usually fondled the emblem of her clan to comfort herself. But the tufted vetch had been callously torn away, and now her skin was bare.
She flushed when she thought about Knox’s fingers grazing against her skin and snatching it away. Glancing down, she was certain she would have found scorch marks, such was the intensity of his touch. Her skin was unblemished, however, at least to sight. She was sure there was something running deeper, that some kind of mark had been left upon her.
There was something compelling about Laird Knox. She wished there wasn’t, but it was as though now that she had met him, all of her thoughts turned towards him, and her body tightened with tension whenever he crossed her mind. He possessed a dark intensity from which she could not turn away. In its own way, it was beautiful, such as a storm on the horizon that flickered with fury, that bawled with thunder and crashed with lightning and was utterly captivating.
Whenever she saw such a storm in nature, she knew in her rational mind that she should turn and seek shelter, but always found her feet rooted to the spot and her vision locked on the horizon. It was the same with Laird Knox, and she hated herself for it. In a way, it felt as though she was betraying her sisters, even betraying herself.
“There’s naething else I can dae,” Caroline said weakly, resigned to her fate.
Nessa hung her head, looking entirely despondent. She ran her hand through her wild hair and then uttered a frustrated extortion, spinning away from Caroline and storming to the window. She flung open the shutters, letting the cold air in, and placed her hands on the ledge, looking outwards. Caroline shuddered. Tara grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders, glaring at Nessa.
“What if there is an alternative?” Tara asked.
“Like what? Throwing ourselves out of the window?” Nessa muttered.
Tara grimaced, but ignored her sister’s words and focused on Caroline. She beckoned Caroline to join her on the bed, opening up the blanket to show her that there was room for both of them. Caroline sank onto the bed and nestled close with Tara. Warmth immediately enveloped her and the small shivers of her body stopped.
“What if ye dae marry him, but ye try to get him tae help us?” Tara suggested.
“Help us?”
“Aye, surely if ye are his wife then ye will be afforded certain opportunities. Ye will hae his ear and ye can convince him tae get rid of Uncle. There is nae love lost between our clans.”
Caroline furrowed her brow. She wouldn’t have expected Tara to come up with something so incisive. It was a sign that she was getting older. Soon enough Tara was going to have to stop thinking of her as a child and recognize that she was a woman in her own right.
“Ye are suggesting that we use him as a weapon?”
Tara rolled her shoulders and wore an innocent expression. “I would nae put it like that exactly, but aye. If ye fear that Uncle will continue tae search for us, then this is a way tae deal with him. Send the vipers against each other.”
Before Caroline could answer, Nessa turned around, laughing.
“Dae ye think he’s gaeing tae listen tae ye? Ye may end up being his wife, but he will never listen tae yer advice. This is yer lot in life,” she stretched out her arms and gestured to the rest of the rooms. “Oh aye, ye might well hae a better room than this one, but ye will always be a prisoner. Caroline, he is only ever gaeing tae dae what he wants tae dae. He is just like our uncle, brutal and cruel. Ye cannae marry him because ye will only ever be unhappy. I dinnae know why we are even discussing this. Tara, ye are as bad as Caroline. Hae ye both lost yer minds?”
Caroline felt Tara turning tense beneath the blanket.
“I’m only trying tae make best of the situation. It’s better than simply complaining,” she snapped.
“There is nae sense denying the reality of the situation. We cannae make life intae what we want it tae be, we must accept the lot we are given. This is the best way I can think tae keep ye safe. Aye, ye are right, he may well ignore me and treat me as a trophy. Sae be it. I may never hae influence and I certainly will nae hae love, and happiness will be a distant dream, but I will be alive and ye will be safe, and that will hae tae be enough. It’s getting late and we are all tired. I am nae gaeing tae speak about this any longer because we are gaeing around in circles. Get tae bed.”
She rose, and the blanket fell away. Tara pouted, clearly not enthused about sleeping next to Nessa. Caroline was despondent, fearing that without her to soothe the tension between them, the girls would be at each other’s throats.
Nessa cast her gaze over her shoulder. “And what if I hae an alternative?” she said softly. When her neck twisted around, there was a mischievous gaze stretching from cheek to cheek. Caroline knew to be suspicious of this expression.
“What alternative?”
Nessa placed her hand on the window ledge. “This.”
Caroline lifted her gaze to the ceiling. “We are nae taking the easy way out. I am nae gaeing through all this just tae sacrifice our lives. Dae ye nae see that this is allowing them tae win? Da would nae hae wanted us tae follow him intae the afterlife sae quickly. What’s the sense in the three of us?—”
Nessa squeezed Caroline’s hand, interrupting her words. Nessa gave Caroline a meaningful look.
“I never said this would be easy. Look,” she whispered the last word with an excited hiss and pointed out of the window.
Caroline saw nothing but a sheer drop. Then, Nessa encouraged her to look more carefully. She was pointing down at a diagonal angle, at a small protrusion about ten feet below them. It was another window. As Caroline focused on this, the dizzying sensation of vertigo abated. “We can climb down there and if we’re lucky, the room will be empty, and the door will be unlocked.”
“And if nae?”
Nessa didn’t seem concerned at all. “Then we can hardly be in a worse position than this.”
“There is a flaw in your plan. How are we gaeing tae climb down? We are nae spiders.”
Nessa turned back and looked around the room. After a moment, she strode away from Caroline towards the bed, and ripped the blanket from around Tara’s shoulders. Tara exclaimed loudly and looked aggrieved, but Nessa did not seem to care at all.
“We can use this, and these,” she pointed to the sheets of the bed, as well as the clothes they had discarded in favor of the colorful gifts they now wore.
Nessa began tying them together at the ends, creating tight knots that were only breakable by a knife. She worked fastidiously, and Caroline could not say that the plan was without merit. Tara crept closer to her and peered out of the window, flinching immediately.
“That is certain death! I cannae dae that,” Tara gasped.
“If we gae, we gae together,” Caroline said.
Tara’s eyes widened. “Are ye gaeing tae indulge her madness?”
“We owe it tae ourselves tae escape. I am resigned tae marrying Laird Knox if there is nae other option, but I am nae going tae meekly accept my fate. Life is a fight, Tara. If ye hae nae learned that by now, then I fear ye may never learn it.” Caroline then turned her body fully towards Tara and gripped her shoulders tightly. “Ye are strong, stronger than ye know. Ye can dae this. We will be with ye, and we will nae let anything happen tae ye.”
Tara looked uncertain as she leaned her head out of the window and gulped with fear. “It’s a long way down.”
“Dinnae focus on the ground below. Just think about the hard wall around us, and look, the window is nae tae far away. We’ll be close tae each other. Close yer eyes, keep yer grip, and ye will be fine.”
“I wish I was nae afraid like ye,” Tara whispered.
A sly smile crept across Caroline’s face. “I am afraid, Tara. I’m afraid of sae many things, and I’ve been afraid ever since Da died. But this is a chance for us tae take our lives intae our own hands. This is a chance for us tae show the Laird that he cannae lock us up and expect us tae accept our fates without a fight. We are gaeing tae show him what we’re made of, what the Gilmour name means. He may hae torn the emblem from my throat, but he hae nae taken my name or my spirit away. We cannae forget who we are, or where we came from. We are proud, we are strong, we are resilient. We can survive this. We will survive this, and we will dae it taegether.”
She squeezed Tara’s shoulder tightly and felt her own courage being mustered. Her blood flowed more warmly, and they were the words she needed to hear. It was just strange to hear them coming from her own mouth, as usually, her father would have been the one to speak to them like this.
Tara nodded, straightening her back. “Ye are right. I dinnae want tae live in fear all my life. After all, we hae survived sae much on our short travels already. What’s one more travail? We hae been hunting by dogs, we hae climbed up a tree… This is just another thing. Just one more thing…” her voice trailed away as her gaze was drawn outside again.
Tara had not fully let go of fear, but at least she wasn’t allowing it to rule her. Caroline knew they were all going to have to steel themselves against the cold claws of fear lest they were consumed by it, rendered helpless.
It wasn’t long before Nessa clapped her fingers and scrambled to her feet, holding a long snake of various fabrics tied together. She tied one end around the thick leg of the heavy bed, and then hauled the rest over to the window. There, she pushed it out and watched it ribbon down, flowing like a pendulum. It just about reached the window below.
“Perfect!” Nessa exclaimed.
“That’s nae the word I’d use tae describe it,” Tara said.
“Ach, ye are just annoyed that ye dinnae come up with anything like this. If ye spent more time outside, then perhaps ye would be inclined tae come up with practical solutions.”
Nessa, never one to tarry, took told of the makeshift rope and clambered out of the window. She turned around and placed her feet against the wall, and then made her descent.
“See ye soon,” she grinned.