Chapter 3
I massaged my temples to ease the headache I got from the antiseptic smell in the hospital, and the worrying I did about Caryn’s condition.
"Here, son." I stopped pacing when I heard my mother-in-law, Carlotta's, voice behind me. I turned to face her, and she passed me a cup with steam coming from the top. "Maybe some tea will help you calm down a little. I'm sure the doctor will be out soon to give us an update."
I wasn't sure if tea or anything else at the moment would calm me down, but I took the cup from her. The only thing I needed to know was if my wife was okay or not.
Carsyn had woken up sometime after we arrived at the hospital, but she seemed rather confused. She'd been in and out of sleep, so they hadn't been able to determine exactly what was going on with her until she fully woke up. They asked us to step out of the room so they could talk to her and attempt to figure out the severity of the hit she took. I wasn't sure how long they would take, but I was anxious as hell.
All I could think about was the sinking feeling I felt when I saw her go down. It had never happened to her before, and that shit scared me. Her opponent was also worried about her, and she tried to apologize, but I told her not to stress herself. We all knew it wasn't intentional. It was a casualty that came with the sport. We just never thought it would happen to us.
Everything happened so fast once Carsyn passed out. It was a good thing our families were there, so one of them called Courtney and her parents to keep them updated. They assured us Nia was fine and not to worry. Carsyn and I always sent Nia with extra clothes, so I wasn't worried about her not having what she needed. They also knew they could call me if it were an emergency, but I was comfortable knowing Nia was well taken care of.
I took a few sips of the tea and let the liquid warm my body. I tried taking deep breaths to calm my nerves, but it wasn't working. My mother-in-law looked at me, and I smiled at her. I knew she and my father-in-law were just as anxious as I was. We all were. Everyone who was with us at the fight was with me at the hospital. Everybody was in their own world, probably wondering what the outcome would be. I was thankful for them giving me the space I needed and for being close by.
"Ross family."
I stood when the doctor approached. I couldn't read her face to determine if she would tell us bad news or not.
"Yes. We are all here, ma'am." The rest of the family stood around me. I could feel the worry radiating off each of them.
"We've determined that Mrs. Ross has what we call retrograde amnesia. It seems as though she remembers nothing past the age of seventeen."
My mother-in-law gasped from the side of me. Her husband had to hold her up because she almost sank to her knees.
I felt a prickling along the back of my neck and my stomach knotted. My legs felt like they were about to give out, and my father must have sensed it because he held me up.
The doctor continued. "It's a type of memory loss where a person loses memories of events or information that occurred before a certain point in time. This is due to how hard she was hit. In this case, Mrs. Ross is unable to recall memories from the past fourteen years. Things like personal experiences, people she's known, or even details about her life before now. However, she may still be able to form new memories moving forward, although this could depend on the severity of the condition.
“Right now, it's too early to tell the full extent of the damage. It's important to understand that retrograde amnesia doesn't affect her personality or identity, but it can make it difficult for her to recognize familiar situations or people from her past. I know this isn't the outcome you all were looking for, and I'm sorry I couldn't give you better news. I will say to have patience with her because she may get frustrated by not being able to remember things. There are resources we will give you guys upon discharge. She doesn't have any other issues, so we'll keep her here for a few more days to keep an eye on her. Do you have any questions? I know I just said a lot."
I was speechless. There were a lot of things on my mind, but I couldn't formulate a sentence to save my life.
"Will she regain her memory?" I heard my father ask the question from my side. His arm stayed around me to keep me steady.
"Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for that. Sometimes, it lasts a short period. In other cases, it can last for years. The best thing to do is to show Mrs. Ross pictures and tell her stories to help her potentially recall certain events. But again, remember, the key is patience. I'll be around if you guys need me. For now, I would suggest only a couple of people go in at a time. We don't want her to get overwhelmed."
"Thank you, Dr. Stralkus." My father shook her hand before she left.
I wiped my hand down my face. "I need to see Carsyn," I told my family.
"Go ahead, son," my father encouraged.
"Mom, you want to come with me?" I asked my mother-in-law.
I wasn't sure if Carsyn would remember me, but she should at least remember her mother.
"Yes," she insisted before grabbing my hand.
The two of us walked toward the room. We would give everyone else a minute to see her, depending on how she reacted to us. My heart pounded in my chest in fear of the unknown. I silently prayed that she knew who I was.
I slowly opened the door. Carsyn sat up in bed watching television, but she looked at us when we entered.
"Mom?" She looked and sounded unsure.
"Yes, baby. I'm here." My mother-in-law rushed to her side and hugged her.
"I think I missed prom," Carsyn stated when they separated.
My mother-in-law and I looked at each other.
"Aww, honey. It's okay," Carlotta reassured her and ran her hand through Carsyn's hair.
"Hey, Carsyn." I cautiously moved closer to the bed.
Her caramel skin was black and blue from the punches she had taken.
Carsyn looked at me like she was trying to figure out who I was.
"Noah? What are you doing in my room? And why do you look so much older?"
Carlotta and I glanced at each other again.
I sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed Carsyn's hand. I was relieved when she didn't snatch away from me. She may not have known exactly why I was here, but I could tell I was familiar to her. We met when she was sixteen, and we flirted, but she was eighteen when we got together.
I wasn't sure if I should wait until the rest of the family was in the room or not. However, I quickly decided that too many people might overwhelm her, so I would tell her before they came in.
"I'm here because you are my wife, Carsyn, and we have a three-year-old daughter named Nia."
Her eyes widened before her brows furrowed. She glanced down at her hand, then back at me. I was sure she wondered why she didn't wear a ring, but she always took it off when she fought. Her eyes also shot to her mother, then back at me.
"I'm sorry. I don't remember." She looked sad, and my heart shattered in my chest.
I felt tears prick my eyes. I sniffled to try to hold them back. At the same time, tears streamed down Carsyn's face like rain, and I couldn't hold my emotions back any longer.
"How could I not remember getting married and having a baby?" More tears and the confusion on her face made me feel useless. I didn't know how to answer her questions.
"Shh, honey. It's okay." Carlotta rubbed her back.
Carsyn's hand was still in my mine, so I gave it a gentle squeeze. I needed her to feel my presence, not just see me.
"How? When did we get married? I don't understand any of this." Carsyn shook her head.
I took a minute to explain to her how she got injured and how long we had been married.
"Your sister and everyone else are in the waiting room. We wanted to come in first and see how you were doing. I can get your sister if you want me to."
"Where's ou-our daughter? You said her name was Nia?"
"Yes, Nia. She looks just like you. She's at the babysitter's house."
Carsyn leaned back against the pillows and slid her hand out of mine. I didn't want to let her go, but I knew this was a lot to process.
"Can I see her?"
"Of course you can. I can go get her and bring her here."
I appreciated Carlotta not saying too much. She tried to comfort Carsyn without overwhelming her.
Carsyn looked at her mother, and she nodded.
"Yes. I would like to see her. I just hate that I can't remember her."
"It's okay. I'll go get her and bring her here," I told her.
I struggled to keep my emotions in check, but I tried my best. I didn't want to completely break down in front of Carsyn because I didn't want to worry her. I had no idea what would happen after her hospital release, but I knew we'd manage. She was my wife, and I took my vows seriously. There was no leaving when times got rough. As long as she would allow me to be there and help her get her memory back, I would.
I stood and moved closer to the side of Carsyn. I leaned down and kissed her forehead, and she didn't move away from me. To me, that was a good enough sign. For now, I would take whatever I could get from her.
"I'll send your sister in and come back with Nia."
"Okay."
I didn't want to leave the room, but I needed to. I prayed that bringing Nia would help jog Carsyn's memory of her. Nia wouldn't understand her mother not knowing who she was, and that was something I worried about.
I opened the door but gave Carsyn one last glance before I left the room.
Carlie and Mr. Warren were the first two people to stand when I entered the waiting room. My father watched me, worry etched on his face.
"How is she?" Carlie asked.
"She doesn't remember me or Nia." I let out a sigh. "She wants to see Nia, so that's a good sign. As Dr. Stralkus said, we have to be patient with her. I just hope this doesn't last long, but I will be there to take care of her no matter what. You all can go in and see her."
"I'm sorry, Noah. We will get through this as a family," Carlie stated, hugging me.
"We got her until you come back, son," Mr. Warren reassured me, then hugged me as well.
The two of them walked away, leaving my father and Carsyn's team behind.
Evander and the team approached me. "I think we are going to get out of here. We don't want to overwhelm her, and it's probably better that at least her close family is here. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything," Evander said.
"I can't thank y'all enough for being here." I looked at Evander, then the rest of them. They were family, too, but Carsyn wouldn't remember who they were. She might remember Evander since he'd known her just as long as I had, but that was it.
I assured them I would call if there were any changes and when they would be able to see her. I thanked them again before hugging them all.
My father stood and pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry, son, but we're here for anything you need. You guys have a whole tribe behind y'all, and we'll get through this. I think we'll give Carsyn some time, too, but call me if you need me."
My aunt came over and hugged me once my dad released me. The three of us walked outside, and they hugged me again before we went our separate ways.
On the way to pick up Nia, I prayed to God for a miracle. "Dear God, please heal my wife and help her remember our family."
My wife was a fighter, and this was nothing but another fight we would face together.