Chapter 5
A few days later, Dr. Stralkus felt Carsyn was well enough to be released from the hospital. She hadn't regained her memory, but the doctor said it would take some time to get it back if it returned at all. For the most part, Carsyn had been sleeping and spending time with her mom and sister. I was there, but we didn't talk as much. I wanted her to have that time with them because we would have time to talk once we got home.
I also wanted to get the house together for her. I wanted the transition to be as easy as possible. She didn't have any physical restraints, but the doctor told us that she should rest as much as she could. There was a chance of a severe headache and maybe some dizziness, but other than that, she should be okay. They prescribed some pain medicine and gave us plenty of resources to use.
Although I didn't show it, I was worried. I couldn't let Carsyn go through this by herself, but I had to be honest and admit I didn't know how we would get through this.
Nia was with our families to give Carsyn time to get acclimated to the house. I wasn't sure how well she would do once we got home, and I didn't want to overwhelm her with getting used to the house and having to deal with Nia. We might have whoever has her bring her over for a couple of hours, but we would play it by ear.
I cleaned the house from top to bottom and went grocery shopping. I didn't want to leave Carsyn's side for anything over the first few days of her being home. I would do everything I could to make her comfortable.
Once the house was set, I headed to the hospital. During the entire drive there, I prayed that Carsyn would be okay and that her transition home would go smoothly. I was thankful that she was comfortable enough to go home with me, even if she couldn't remember everything. It would have killed me if she wanted to go to her parents' or sister's house. It was bad enough that she didn't remember me, but I wouldn't be able to handle it if she didn't want to be in the home we shared.
Since the incident happened, I prayed and wished that she would get her memory back. And I prayed for the strength to have patience with her.
When I arrived at the hospital, I parked in the visitors' parking lot and got out. It was a nice day outside, and I knew the sunlight would do Carsyn some good. I knew she was tired of sitting in that hospital room. At least her room had a window so she could look outside, but it wasn't anything like letting the sun kiss your skin.
After I checked in at the visitor's desk, I got on the elevator to the fourth floor.
Carsyn was dressed and sitting up when I entered the room. My muscles relaxed when she looked up at me, and her eyes brightened. I didn't even realize I was that tense. I was nervous about how things would go and how she would react once we got home.
"How are you feeling?" I asked Carsyn as I got close. I wanted to kiss her like I normally did, but I wasn't sure if it would be too much for her. Instead, I sat in the chair near her bed. She looked like she was unsure of what she should say or do.
"I'm okay. Nervous but also happy to be leaving here. The staff was nice, but the food wasn't that great. This bed wasn't that comfortable either." She giggled.
"I can imagine. The bed at home is comfortable, and you'll love it. The food there is much better too." I winked at her.
There was a look on her face that I couldn't decipher, but then she smiled and said, "Okay." She brushed her hand over the sheet on the bed. "Where's Nia?"
"She's with my father and my Aunt Grace. She'll stay with them for a couple of days, then your parents will get her. If at any time you want to see her, someone will bring her to the house. I just didn't want you to get overstimulated too soon."
I wanted to assure Carsyn that I wasn't trying to keep Nia from her. She already seemed a little skeptical about me, and I didn't want to give her the wrong impression. Whatever she needed me to do to make her feel comfortable, I would do.
"Oh, okay. I'm sure that's a good idea. I can't wait to get to know her, though. You too," she added.
Carsyn's bright smile gave me hope that things would work out for the good.
I got up from the chair and approached her. She blinked fast a couple of times but didn't look away.
"I'm willing to answer any questions you may have and fill in any blanks that may be missing."
She looked up at me, and I smiled. There was still some bruising under her eye from that fight, but that didn't take away from her beauty. My wife had always been so beautiful to me, and her dealing with all this like a champ made her that much more attractive.
There was a knock at the door, so I stepped back to answer it, but the person opened it before I got there.
It was one of the nurses.
"Hi, Mrs. Ross. I'm glad you're here, Mr. Ross. Escort is on their way up, but I wanted to give you both the discharge instructions," she announced as she walked near the bed.
She explained everything to watch for, especially over the first few days. She gave us the prescription Dr. Stralkus wrote for Carsyn, along with support groups for people with amnesia.
By the time she was done, the escort person had arrived. While they helped Carsyn into the wheelchair, I made sure all of her belongings were packed and that we didn't leave anything behind. Carlie had visited her the day before, so she had already started packing. I double-checked everything one last time before I followed behind Carsyn and the escort person.
"I'm going to take the stairs so I can pull up the car. I'll be right out front," I told Carsyn and the guy.
"Okay. Take your time," the guy responded.
I smiled at Carsyn, then headed to the stairway. I thought about all the things that could go wrong as I walked down the steps, but I knew I had to get out of my head. I didn't want to think the worst, but it was hard not to. The woman who owned every part of me didn't know who I was… Hardship was around the corner, and I needed to prepare for it. I knew my mother-in-law would tell me to pray about it, so that's what I did.
I was still in my head when I reached the parking lot, but I had to push it to the back of my mind. Making Carsyn feel as secure as possible was the goal.
I put her stuff in the trunk, then climbed into the car. When I pulled up to the door, Carsyn was on the curb in the wheelchair, smiling and talking to the escort guy. It wasn't in a flirty way, but it still bothered me a little because I didn't know what they were talking about to make her smile like that. In the past, it wouldn't bother me when she talked to other men because I was secure in our relationship, but a lot had changed in a matter of days.
I shook off my thoughts and exited the car, walking around it and opening the passenger door. I appreciated the escort's help, but I was capable of getting my wife in the car. I would have wheeled her down myself, but I didn't want her to have to wait at the curb by herself, and the hospital had rules.
"Thank you. I got it from here," I told the dude.
"You're welcome." He stepped back while I stretched my hand out to Carsyn.
She smiled at me and grabbed my hand. Once she was safely in the car, I closed the door and walked around to the other side.
"Good luck to both of you," the escort guy said before leaving.
"Thanks," I replied, then got in the car. After my seat belt was secured, I turned toward Carsyn. "Are you ready to go home?"
When she looked at me, I could see the hesitation on her face, but she grinned and replied, "Yes."
I could tell she was nervous by the way she picked at her nails, so I turned on some music to help relax her. Whenever she got nervous about anything, we would listen to music until she was calm. I wasn't sure if music would help this time, but I tried anyway.
I had so many questions, but I knew I needed to wait until she was ready to talk. Asking her too many things could frustrate her, and I wasn't trying to do that.
Twenty minutes later, we arrived home, and even though Carsyn wasn't visibly nervous, I could tell she was still a little apprehensive. I knew my wife very well and could pick up on subtle things about her. She probably didn't even realize how much she tapped her fingers against her leg the whole time we drove.
"Is this where we live?" she asked as I pulled into the driveway.
"Yes, we do, and you picked it out. This was the first house we purchased after we got married. We are friends with the neighbors and their daughter. They watch Nia for us occasionally. They have been asking about you, but I told them I would let them know when you were up for visitors."
"Oh, okay. I don't remember them either."
The sadness in Carsyn's voice made my chest tight.
"It's okay, and they understand that. For now, let's get you in the house and get settled."
I got out of the car and helped her out. Once I got her settled, I would get the stuff from the trunk.
After opening the door, I let Carsyn walk in first. I kept everything where it was before the fight just in case something jogged her memory. Dr. Stralkus also suggested keeping things the same as before. She mentioned that changing things around could trigger an emotional response from her.
Carsyn walked further into the house, eyeing the pictures on the wall and looking around like everything was new to her, but I guess it was. She walked over to our wedding portrait on the wall.
"Wow. We really are married," she whispered. I didn't know if I should say anything, but it felt like she didn't expect me to hear it. She turned to face me. "When did we get married?"
I stood a couple of inches away from her with my hands in my pockets.
"We got married ten years ago on November fifth. It was a chilly day, but the sun was bright in the sky. We talked about an outside wedding but ended up going with one at a manor that's near the lake."
"Oh wow. That sounds beautiful." She walked away from the portrait and went to sit on the couch.
"The best day of my life," I commented. I walked over to the couch and sat on the other end of it. "There are pictures I can show you one day."
"I'd like that." Carsyn placed her hands in her lap and picked at her fingernails. "How did we end up together?"
"You and your stepfather would come to the gym I used to go to all the time. Every time you came into the gym, I would watch you work out and train with Warren. One day, you got frustrated with something he tried to show you, so I came over and offered my assistance. We exchanged numbers, and we talked on the phone later that night. After that, I would be at the gym every time you were there, and I would help whenever you needed it. A month later, we officially started dating, and the rest is history."
Carsyn looked at me the whole time I talked, and when I was done, her face lit up. Her eyes told me she still hadn't remembered any of it, but I was glad that she didn't confirm it. She asked me more questions about our house and our life, and I answered each one of them. It was hard because I could feel the disconnect between us, and I didn't like it. Normally, a kid-free day would consist of us eating, laughing, and having sex anywhere in the house. That was when Carsyn wasn't training. Now, it felt like I was with a totally different person. I missed my wife already.
Carsyn yawned, so before I got too deep in my head, I stood. "Let me show you where the bedroom is so you can get some rest." I stuck my hand out, and she placed her hand in mine.
I still felt the same spark I always felt whenever we touched.
"Okay." She yawned again.
I led her upstairs and showed her to our bedroom. She walked in and looked around the same way she did when we first came into the house.
"Do you want to wear a nightgown or one of your pajama sets?" Usually, Carsyn didn't sleep in anything, but I wasn't sure where her head was.
She looked down at her lap. "Um, I guess a nightgown."
"I got you." I went into her drawer and pulled one of her nightgowns out for her. "Do you mind if I help you?"
She blushed. "No, I don't mind."
I stood in front of her and helped her out of her shirt and bra before I slid the nightgown over her head. Our eyes were on each other the whole time. "Stand up for me," I instructed.
She hadn't had any dizziness that I was aware of, but I still helped her stand.
Once she was up, I pulled her pants and panties down. I looked up at her, and she was already looking at me. "Hold on to my shoulders so you can step out of your pants."
Carsyn did as I said, and once her stuff was off, she climbed into bed. Once she was comfortable, I pulled the covers up over her.
"I'll be downstairs if you need me. I have to get your stuff out of the car and fix dinner. Don't hesitate to call me for anything. Okay, Care Bear?"
"I feel like you called me that before."
My heart soared when she said that. It was simple, but it was progress.
"From the moment I met you."
Her cheeks rose when she smiled. We stared at each other for a few seconds until she yawned again.
"Get some rest."
I pulled the covers up to her chin, kissed her forehead, and left the room.
After I got her stuff from the car, I went into the kitchen and prepped what I needed to make dinner. I wasn't sure what happened, but as I chopped some peppers, I had an emotional breakdown. I had to step away from the counter and sit down. My shoulders shook as the tears that fell from my eyes couldn't be contained. I tried to keep my crying as quiet as possible because I didn't want to alert Carsyn. She had a small memory, but that wasn't enough to feel secure in our new situation. My biggest fear was that she wouldn't get her memories back and she would leave me. I would probably leave this earth if I couldn't have my wife.
I got myself together because I needed to be strong for my family. I vowed I would do everything in my power to get my wife back. Nothing in this world could keep me from being with Carsyn. That woman was my entire existence, and I would go to war with God himself if that was the only way I could keep her here with me. If I needed to adjust some things to make her comfortable, I would.