6. What I Pay For
LUCIAN
In 5AA, Soma opened an academy on the freeland of Tenesia to help bring glory back to the universe.
— CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE FORMING OF VISNATUS BY REPRESENTATIVE LUTHENIA (REDACTED)
The heat of the fire burns my eyes as I pass the bottle back and forth between me and Yuki.
“I’m gonna take a walk,” Azaire says, standing up from the stump of his tree.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles. “I need some air.”
“Bro,” Yuki slurs and holds out his arms. “There’s nothing but air.”
“Away from the smoke,” he says with a shrug.
Yuki mumbles something, takes another swig, and Azaire leaves.
“I got another bottle,” Jermoine says with a twisted smile. He holds up a bottle of vesi—full well knowing that I have more than I will ever know what to do with.
Since Kai and I have been… less than friendly, Jermoine’s swung from one to the other. He’s a Folk, so his natural inclination is tricky. Kai’s his kind, I’m his soon-to-be king.
Yuki holds up our half-full bottle that he’s drank the most of. I grab it from his hand and take another sip.
“More for me, I guess,” Jermoine says, hitting Yuki in the chest with the back of his hand.
Fleur slides in next to me with a soft “Hey” that doesn’t startle me—I could spot her bright white hair from a mile away.
“Hey.”
“We’re having a little…” she shakes her shoulders slightly and whispers, “after party, in the suite.”
I take another sip and say flatly, “The suite you share with my sister?”
Fleur smiles and lifts a shoulder. “Yeah, well,” her fingers slide into my pocket, depositing something, “if you’re interested.”
I turn to her for the first time, looking into her emerald eyes. Then I slip my hands into my pocket, pulling out her undergarments. I let my eyes shift down her body, smirking.
“You have two conflicts of interest,” I remind her playfully. “One’s your future queen and the other’s your best friend.”
“I can keep a secret.”
I reach around her, tucking her underwear into her back pocket, and my eyes can’t help but land on Calista, who has watched this entire encounter with sharp eyes.
“Remains to be seen,” I whisper in her ear when I hear a bottle crash.
“Hey, hey,” Yuki shouts, putting his hands on top of his head and backing away from Jermoine, who has a broken bottle in his hand and is pointing it at his throat. “I didn’t know she was your girl! Put the bottle down, man.”
It takes me two seconds to summon the abundance of shadows in the night, grabbing hold of the bottle-turned weapon and depositing it in the fire.
“Don’t touch my advisor,” I say.
“He said that?—”
“Don’t. Touch. My. Advisor.” I look at Yuki with a sly smile that he returns. “Should we show him how real men fight?”
“Absolutely!” Yuki jumps up and toward me.
“Clear the ground!” I shout to what’s soon to be my audience and step into the space between the fire pits. It takes seconds for everyone to get to the sidelines of our makeshift mat.
Yuki swings first, right for the jaw. I duck out of the way and come back up, my fist connecting with the bottom of his chin. He spits blood to his side and smiles, running to me and trying to tackle me. He’s unable to get me to the ground.
“Lucian!”
“What?” I call and Yuki takes me to my back, knocking the air out of me. He stands and holds his hand out to me.
“It’s a good thing no one expects you to fight,” he whispers before he walks the other way.
Calista approaches, grabbing me by the forearm and reminding everyone that I am inexorably taken. She pulls me away and behind a tree that offers no such privacy.
Lilac watches from afar.
“Where’s Kai?” she says angrily.
“I’m not his keeper, Calista.” I shrug my arm out of hers.
Her eyes narrow. “Nor am I, but you know how he gets,” she says sternly.
I hold out a finger, “Just give me a moment,” and walk back to Yuki, taking the longest chug I have all night before I reconvene with Calista. “Shall we, milady?” I ask, holding out a hand to her.
She looks at my hand and scoffs. “You disgust me.”
“Always a pleasure.”
We walk in utter silence, which could be better because we hear everything, meaning we’ll find Kai sooner. Though, I’m unsure that finding Kai is what I want to do. For all Calista knows, he’s out here with a girl, and that’s not something I need to see.
I’ve known this kid my whole life. For better or worse, he’s practically family.
We both stop when we hear chattering, Calista giving me a smug look. We follow the noise, but it’s not Kai we find—it’s Azaire and Wendy.
Azaire gives me a shy smile and Wendy gives me a horrified look.
“Our apologies,” I say with a smile, dragging Calista away, and it’s back to silence.
We find Kai passed out by the river with Aralia, who says, “He needed water.”
“That’s what you’ve been delegated to?” Calista sneers. “My brother’s water fetcher?”
“No, Calista, some people just want to help,” Aralia snaps, looking back at the water. “Just take him and get out of here.”
“You’re gonna stay here?” Calista says.
“I like the water.”
“Whatever.” Calista pulls her brother up by the arm and looks at me. “A little help?”
As obnoxious as it is, Royals help Royals. It will do neither of our families any good to have the future king of my world being seen like this. I pick up Kai’s other side and we take him back to the suite together, promptly parting ways as soon as we can.
I rejoin Yuki—who’s two sips away from Kai’s level and is talking to Jermoine as if nothing happened. Fleur and Eleanora sit by the fire, Eleanora next to Jermoine, leaned over and practically on top of him.
I wonder briefly what Yuki said and if Jermoine notices the glances his girl continues to point my way.
But I was the one to screw that one up.
A few weeks ago, after another academy fundraiser, I went back to Eleanora’s room. She’d taken a glass of wine from the gala and I poured her a glass.
“I hate these galas,” she said while she tugged off her strappy heels.
“Yes,” I said, handing her the wine and taking a sip of my own. “You and me both.”
Eleanora began to untie her corset. “Could you?” She turned her back to me and moved her hair over her shoulder.
“Gladly.” I set down my glass and reached for the strings, tugging them undone. Her dark blue dress fell to the floor, leaving her in a white slip, and she fluffed up her curly brown hair, turning toward me.
“There is one good thing about them,” she said, stepping closer.
“And what might that be?” I settled my hands on her waist.
“The night after.” She draped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her lips, kissing me slowly at first until she decided she liked the taste and kissed me deeper.
Eleanora tugged at my shirt, then my pants, and I lifted the dress slip from her body.
It was the aftermath, in her bed with her head on my chest and our limbs entangled that she looked up at me, smiling, then looked away.
“What?” I said.
“I think.” She laughed. “I love you, Lucian.”
I was quiet for a moment. The only words my lips could form were, “Oh shit.”
“What?” she said, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around her chest. “What do you mean oh shit?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t have the space for someone else.” I knew those words were true. “My apologies.”
Could I love her? Is it fear of what caring for another would mean for me, or was this always simply sex?
Eleanora scoffed. She raised her hands and shoved them back in her lap. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that!”
“Do with it whatever you’d like.”
Her eyebrows fell and she said, “I’d like you to get out of my room.”
I nodded, tugged my shirt over my head, and my pants back on. “Understood,” I said softly.
Then I left.
The next time she came back, I told her she had the right idea when she left.
Now, I sit between Yuki and Fleur and drink some more, ignoring the chatter around me until Eleanora laughs and says, “Oh my gods, did you see the new girl?”
Jermoine takes a sip, “Tragic.”
Eleanora addresses the group and says, “You should’ve seen her when Kai…” She sticks out her tongue and shakes her body.
“What’s her name?” I ask.
“I don’t know, like, Deserae or something?” Eleanora shrugs. “Who cares?”
Calista sits between Fleur and Eleanora, giving me a nasty glance, considering tonight’s events. “Can I?” She doesn’t wait for an answer before pulling the bottle from Jermoine’s hand and taking a sip as if it’s water and she’s dehydrated.
“Okay then,” Jermoine scoffs.
“Anyone have…?” Calista puts two fingers to her lips and inhales.
“For sure,” Yuki says and lights a joint.
He passes it to me first and I touch the bottom of my chin where his bruise is, saying, “You got something…”
“Oh, man, you should see the other guy,” Yuki laughs.
“Right, where is he?” Breck says, sitting next to Jermoine. “I think congratulations are in order.”
“Hey, hey, it was like half a fight!” Yuki argues.
“I wasn’t sure we’d even begun,” I add. Eleanora and Fleur giggle.
Calista turns to me with clear animosity. “Are you done hogging it?”
I hand it to her. “Here you go, Princess.”
She sneers. “I don’t know why you say it like an insult when it’s clearly not.”
Except it is. Though only Kai, Calista, Lilac, and I know that.
“Where’s Kai?” Jermoine asks Calista.
She blows the smoke in his face. “I don’t know, probably being a droozen idiot somewhere else.”
The joint makes it back to me, and when Lilac approaches no one moves to make her a seat.
“Stalker at two o’clock,” Eleanora whispers to Calista. They both snicker. Fleur hits Eleanora in the forearm.
“There’s a life outside of pointless drama,” I say. “You’d do well to find it.” Eleanora looks at me as if I’ve said something much worse than the truth.
I get up and join Li.
She stutters when she says, “You don’t have to miss out on the fun.”
“Please,” I scoff and hand her the joint I never passed along.
“Thanks.” Lilac shrugs and takes a hit while we walk to a mostly empty fire pit. I sit, and with one look the small group dissipates.
“It was awkward,” Lilac mumbles. “Right? You got that too?”
“Eleanora’s on a power trip?—”
“I’m talking about Calista.” Her eyebrows knit together and she frowns, passing me the joint with an almost limp hand. “But you should’ve never been with Eleanora,” she whispers.
I take a hit of the joint. “Yeah, I know.”
“Do you think it’s always gonna be this way?”
“Truly?” I ask. Lilac nods. “I hope not.” I think it is going to get worse.
“Me too.” We pass the joint until it’s ash and Lilac calls, “Azaire!”
I look up to find him walking toward us, tugging on his beanie and smiling.
He sits down shyly with a small, “Hey.”
“How’s Wendy?” I ask.
“Oh,” he says with a short laugh, looking down and smiling. “It wasn’t… we were just talking.”
“You talked to her?” Lilac says with a smile.
“That’s a bigger step than you’ve ever taken,” I add.
“It’s,” he shakes his head, “it’s probably nothing.”
“Make it something,” I say.
“I think that’s a huge step,” Lilac says. “Have you ever seen Wendy talk to anyone?”
“Of course I have,” Azaire says.
“I don’t know, it’s been a few years.” I look at my sister, thinking I’m going to get a response. What I see is her staring at Calista while she and Eleanora laugh in her direction. “I’ll be right back.”
I walk the short distance to their fire, surprised to see the ground spinning a little. “Hey,” I say happily, squatting down and taking a bottle from Breck’s hand and the other from Eleanora’s.
“What the?—”
“Dude!”
I take a sip from one, then the other, and say, “Here’s what we’re not going to do,” while looking at Eleanora and Calista. “We’re not going to treat my sister—and let’s be truthful—the most powerful of us all, as if she’s some awkward outsider.” I scan my eyes over my group of friends. “Alright?”
“Yeah, man.”
“Yeah.”
“My bad.”
I face Eleanora. She opens her mouth, but her eyes hover over my lips. “I know, I know, I’m irresistible,” I say with a smile and a shrug. “But I’d prefer you look me in the eye. It’s rather dehumanizing this way, don’t you agree?”
I would have never hooked up with her if I knew the way she’d been treating Lilac.
“Okay,” she mumbles and looks at Jermoine, whose face is so red he’ll surely burst soon.
“Fair,” I nod my head, “fair.” I set the bottles down. “Well, I’ll see you in class.”
“You’re not coming tomorrow?” Yuki asks.
“Yeah, dude, everyone’s gonna be at the gala,” Breck adds. Jermoine gives him a heated glance.
“Not everyone.” I head away when Yuki runs behind me. “What’s up?”
“Rather chill with you.”
I nod. “So what did you say to convince Jermoine to hold a broken bottle to your throat?”
Yuki laughs a little, and I can tell it’s one of embarrassment. “I said Eleanora was smokin’. I had no idea they were together.”
He joins Azaire, Lilac, and me. Azaire tells us about the constellations Wendy showed him and doesn’t stop grinning. When Yuki lights another joint, he smokes it like his life depends on it and hands it off to Lilac before he lies on the ground with his hands under his head.
People begin to dance around us, in the middle of all the fire pits where Yuki and I had a miniature brawl. Lilac and I smoke the rest of the joint. Azaire’s high on Wendy, I think.
Truthfully, I have a better time with these three than I have with any group. I prefer it this way.
My laughter is nothing compared to the electricity that rattles down my spine when someone whispers in my ear, “Meet me by the lake in one hour, or I’ll tell everyone what I saw in your memories.”