Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-seven
RILEY
Driving back into Elk Ridge, Riley had to fight the instinctive urge to turn into the diner’s parking lot. It was muscle memory and hope combined, like somehow everything would go back to how it was if he just slid into a booth and waited for Jason to appear with a coffee and a smile.
Except he couldn’t think of anywhere he’d be less welcome right now. Instead, he drove up Main a little way and found a place to park.
He tore a sheet from his pad and wrote a note to Sheriff Urban.
He didn’t have an envelope, so he folded the paper tightly and wrote Personal and Confidential on the outside.
It would go one of two ways—Janice would either be the nosiest person in existence and read it, or she’d be the sort of person who would die sooner than betray the trust the sheriff had in her.
Riley had no idea which of those was true, but just in case it was the former, he’d been very careful in what he’d said.
Sheriff Urban, I’ve told my editor there’s no story here. The article never left my laptop and is now deleted. R.C.
He took it into the sheriff’s office, pretty certain that Urban and Bryce would still be back at the ranch.
Sure enough, the only person there was a deputy he hadn’t seen before, her dark hair tied back in a ponytail.
Even Janice was missing, though he swiftly realized that was probably because it was Sunday.
He left the note with the deputy and retreated.
Sliding back into his car, he wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now. Nothing was keeping him here. He should head back to civilization and the things he knew. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
He told himself it was because he didn’t have his next move lined up.
That it made sense to stop and recalibrate, figuring out what to do.
But deep down, he knew better. It was one last, pathetic hope that maybe word would get back to Jason about that note, about the fact he hadn’t filed the story.
That Jason would believe it meant something and might not hate him forever.
Eventually, he did the math. Wages, expenses—he had enough for food and gas.
Definitely not enough to get a room at the motel again.
Instead, he bought bread, cheese, chips and water and drove out of town.
There was no point in sitting where Urban would see him straight away and run him off.
He just had to hope the track he’d turned down, looking for somewhere to park, wouldn’t result in him being at the end of a shotgun.
It didn’t seem to lead anywhere, so he left the car and walked through the trees until he found an old tree stump to sit on.
He ate because it gave him something to do, though every mouthful seemed to stick in his throat. He concentrated on the birdsong and the way shafts of sunlight fell between the trees. Anything rather than think about what Jason was doing right now. Or about what came next.
Because the truth was, he didn’t have a plan. The job was gone, the story dead, and he’d burned the only thing that might have proven he was more than a pretty face and a line of bullshit. And what was left? No job and no future. And no Jason.
He’d failed at everything.
JASON
“The way I figure it, we can’t count on Jesse’s identity being secret anymore, and we need to have a plan for when it does come out,” Matt concluded, looking around the table at the gathered pack.
“You think that shifter who blabbed was the one who attacked Jesse and then ran?” Christian asked.
“I’ll let you know,” Matt said.
Christian stared at him. “How in the hell would you be able to tell?”
“I’ve been asking around. Turns out not everyone connected with Cale’s pack is as loyal as he thought,” was all Matt said. But cold rage burned deep in his eyes. There was no way he was going to let the shifter who had invaded his home and damn near killed his mate go unpunished.
Matt pushed back his chair and rose to his feet.
“Bryce and I need to work out who in the shifter community we talk to in the event Jesse’s identity becomes known, while the rest of you—” His gaze swept over his assembled pack, and his eyes softened slightly as he took them all in.
“Just keep doing what you’re doing, staying alert for intruders. ”
Jason flinched. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that an attack on them might come any way other than full force from a pack of shifters. He’d opened the damn door to Riley.
“Jason.”
He scarcely dared look up at the serious tone in Matt’s voice, but he had to.
“I’m the one who invited Riley here,” Matt said. “It was because I had my suspicions and I wanted to observe him, but you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”
Jesse nudged his shoulder against Jason’s, and the relentless ball of misery in Jason’s stomach finally loosened slightly.
He nodded at Matt in a way that he hoped conveyed how grateful he was.
The alpha of his old pack would have banished him, but not before taking it out of his hide for having been so damn careless.
It appeared that wasn’t all Matt had to say, because he caught up with Jason as he headed back to his bunkhouse, walking beside him in silence. The longer that went on, the more nervous Jason got.
“I owe you an apology,” Matt said at last, words so unexpected that Jason promptly tripped over his feet, and only Matt’s hand on his arm kept him upright.
“I didn’t realize at first how serious you were about him, and once I did, I thought the fact you were mates—I expected that to carry more weight.”
“Yeah,” Jason whispered, bitterness threading through him. “Me too.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt said. “I should have said something, told you I had doubts.”
Jason respected Matt, he was beyond grateful to him for so very much, and he liked him. In that moment, he realized that like wasn’t really a strong enough word. Matt was always steady, always looking after the entire pack. Like a seawall against the currents that might otherwise tear them away.
“No,” he said. “You trusted me.”
Matt saying something might have saved him from some hurt, but he’d have felt like a child who needed to be taken care of, unable to look after himself.
Although that was true, Matt hadn’t made him feel that way.
He’d given Jason space to make his own choices.
He’d respected Jason, and that meant more than Matt would ever know.
He turned and faced Matt, searching what he could see of his face in the moonlight.
“Thank you,” he said. For everything, he meant, and he didn’t know if Matt understood that. Though from the way he inclined his head, he thought maybe he did.
He watched Matt head back toward the house, and then made his way to his room.
Bryce had been right that the company of the rest of the pack had somehow eased the jagged edges of the hole in his heart.
But the ache was still there. He needed to be alone to try to come to terms with what had happened.
And to stop picking at Riley’s words and hope that somehow he’d meant them. Because it didn’t matter even if Riley did love him. Jason could never love anyone who’d deliberately set out to deceive and betray his pack.
RILEY
Riley woke the next morning from the worst night’s sleep he could remember in a long time. It seemed the back seat of an Aveo was not made for people to sleep on comfortably.
He headed back into Elk Ridge in the early morning light.
Leaving the car, he used the public restroom to make himself look vaguely decent.
He thought about shaving, but the idea of standing in front of a grimy mirror, razor in hand, in a place that smelled like piss and cheap soap made his gut clench.
He still couldn’t bring himself to let his beard grow—not after those photo shoots, not after everything he’d done to get the work—but he sure as hell wasn’t shaving here.
Once he was done, he found a bench in the park from which to watch the town come slowly to life around him, and wondered what the hell he should do.
* * *
He was still sitting there three hours later. It would be easier to leave. That was what he always did, jettisoning his latest wreckage as he went. But something about Jason, about the weight of what he’d done, kept him anchored here.
He’d never seen himself as a bad person—just someone who’d made a few questionable choices.
But the truth was uglier. He’d let desperation and longing sway him away from what he knew to be right.
Told himself he had no choice, when really, every time, he’d made one. Even if that choice was to look away.
When someone sat down next to him, he jumped, so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed anyone approach. And oh, shit—it wasn’t just anyone sitting there. It was Matt fucking Urban.
“If there’s no story, why are you still here?” he asked Riley, his eyes on a couple of yapping terriers playing Frisbee with their owner.
Riley unfroze when he realized he wasn’t about to get his throat torn out. At least, not here.
“Jason,” he said at last, reluctantly.
Urban said nothing.
They sat there long enough for one of the guys from the bar to walk past. Riley spotted the sideways look of distaste Lennox sent in Urban’s direction. He forgot it completely when Urban turned to look at him, that steady gaze somehow difficult to hold.
“You think hanging around’s going to make it easier on him?” Urban asked.
Damn. No, Riley hadn’t thought about that. Because Riley was selfish.
“Shit,” he said, and his shoulders slumped. He didn’t want to do that to Jason. But he also wasn’t ready to walk away and know he’d never see Jason again.
“Guess that about covers it,” Urban agreed, and rose to his feet.
“I just want him to understand,” Riley burst out. “I didn’t know he was one of your pack, not at first. It was never about that with him.”
Urban raised an eyebrow as he looked Riley up and down, and Riley couldn’t help but wonder if Urban could scent lies the way Dave could detect spilled fruit tea.
He hoped so, because then he’d know that Riley was telling the truth.
Thinking about the unholy fuckup he’d been responsible for made Riley realize Jason wasn’t the only one he owed an apology to.
“I, uh, I guess I got things wrong,” he said, studying Urban’s very shiny sheriff star to avoid looking at his face.
“I bought into my editor’s take on what was going on here and didn’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
And I didn’t really think about what my story might mean for your pack. ” He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
“Who are you working for?” Urban’s voice gave nothing away.
“Was working for,” Riley corrected him. “I got fired.” He frowned. “Or quit. I’m not quite sure. But it was The Daily Sentinel.”
“Yeah, that figures,” Urban said. “They hate shifters.”
That star was really interesting, but it could do with a bit of a polish on one of its arms where it looked like jam, or possibly blood, had gotten onto it.
“You might want to park somewhere legal tonight if you’re planning on sleeping in your car again,” Urban said, and Riley’s gaze jumped to his face. It was still expressionless as Urban turned on his heel.
Riley stared after him. Had he just been given tacit permission to stay?
But why? Unless Urban was going to send the pack after him tonight.
But it hadn’t felt like a threat. Maybe—oh, God, maybe Urban knew that he was serious about making up for what he’d done, and maybe that meant there was still hope with Jason.
For a reckless moment, he thought about going to the ranch or diner, but then he caught himself.
The very last thing he should do right now was to push Jason.
If he did that, he’d push him away. But maybe—oh, God, please—if he stayed long enough, showed how sorry he was, maybe Jason would come to him.
He sat in the shade, dreaming about how it would be when Jason forgave him and took him back.
No inconvenient details about where they’d live or what he’d do for a living—just him and Jason together again, living somewhere just the two of them, where everything was perfect, and Jason’s soft brown eyes smiled at him without even a hint of disgust.
Riley didn’t care anymore that Jason’s mate might come along at any time and destroy their perfect life. He was willing to take the risk, even if it meant having Jason for only a little while. Better that than nothing.
A sourness caught in the back of his throat when he remembered—he didn’t even have this. It was nothing more than a dream. But if all he could do by staying here was get Jason to understand that Riley hadn’t targeted him to use him, that was worth doing.
Now all he had to do was figure out how to get Jason to speak to him again.