Chapter Thirty #2
His voice caught, like he was weighing whether he could say the next words out loud.
“My dad. I kept hoping, if I could break a story as big as this, then he’d be proud of me again.
” His voice broke on the words, and he took in an unsteady breath.
“But now…” He held Jason’s gaze. “Now, I know, it’s not worth the cost. No point pleasing him if it means I can’t live with myself. ”
His voice cracked again. “I’m choosing now. I’m choosing me. And, if you would ever have me back, I’m choosing you, Jason. Not him. Not his values.”
Jason sucked in a breath to replace all the air that had been punched from his lungs by Riley’s words. But before he even knew what he wanted to say, Riley spoke again.
“You said to me that I don’t need fixing. Not so sure you’re right about that.” He faltered for a moment, before adding quietly, “But it’s not in the way I thought I did.”
He swallowed, and his next words were hoarse. “I need to be better.”
The room was quiet when his strained voice died away, the only sound the uneven rasp of his breathing.
Jason swallowed. It was as if, before, he’d seen parts of Riley, like the polished facets of a diamond reflecting back at him. But now, Riley had deliberately opened himself up, to let Jason see what lay at his core.
He breathed in slowly, and in a way he couldn’t explain, the air felt right. No deceit. Certainly, no charming, hard-edged smile. Just the raw, broken truth of someone who’d stopped pretending.
And he’d done it for Jason. So far as Jason was concerned, that had taken as much courage as putting himself in front of a loaded gun. Which, in case Jason was in danger of forgetting, he’d also done for Jason.
He didn’t know what to say, not without blundering all over deep emotions like a clumsy pup chasing a bumblebee. But he wanted to offer Riley something meaningful in return for the precious trust he’d been given.
“I told you my pack threw me out when my mom died. Said I wasn’t a good enough wolf.” He moistened his lips again and forced himself onward. “But you know what? If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t have this pack, and—and maybe I’d never have met you.”
Forgiveness scared the hell out of him, opening himself up to be hurt all over again. But losing Riley—this Riley, hurting and honest—scared him more.
Jason pushed himself up off the sofa, closing the space between them. His voice shook. “You said you’re choosing. So am I.”
Riley sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes disbelieving for an instant as he stared at Jason. And then he folded against him, shaking. Jason wrapped his arms tight around him and didn’t let go.
The fizzing joy that had filled Jason for days was gone, never to return. But what replaced it was so much better. It wasn’t simple and it wasn’t clean, but it was real. Riley had lied to him, hurt him. But holding him now, Jason knew one thing beyond question—Riley wouldn’t do it again.
Matt had given Jason a new start. How could he deny his mate the same? He held Riley, and the happiness inside him held the promise of dawn on a clear day.
RILEY
He’d been flying apart, but then Jason was there, holding him together. His hands clenched into Jason’s t-shirt as he clutched onto the one thing in his life that was good. He didn’t know how Jason had forgiven him, but somehow, he had.
“I love you,” he choked out.
And Jason, in a reversal of their dynamic—of their old dynamic, anyway—put his fingers beneath Riley’s chin and gently, so gently, tilted his face up. Everything was blurry from the tears Riley was desperately holding back, but he could hear the softness in Jason’s voice.
“Love you, too.”
Riley dragged in a huge, sobbing breath.
“Hey, is my—oh!” A voice intruded, young and loud. “Oh, sorry. Sorry.”
By the time Riley had drawn back and turned around to see who was there, the owner of the voice had disappeared. He sniffed back his tears and eased back from Jason’s hold.
“Tristan,” Jason said. “I guess he didn’t get the memo.”
“Guess not,” Riley said, for once unsure what to say.
Silence hung between them for a moment. All the important words had been spoken, and they’d left him dry.
“Uh, so there’s something I need to tell you,” Jason said.
Jason had somehow found it in his honest, generous heart to forgive the unforgivable, but nothing good ever followed ominous words like that.
Riley braced, not wanting to hear whatever was coming next.
He didn’t get a say in the matter—Jason rushed on, almost like if he didn’t speak now, he never would.
“We’re mates.”
Riley’s brain reeled, unable to make sense of two simple words.
“But we can’t be. I’m human,” he said blankly.
He hadn’t even realized that was hope in Jason’s expression until it vanished, and Riley hated himself for the way he could keep screwing this up without even trying.
He reached out quickly, catching Jason’s hand and tugging him gently to the sofa. “Tell me what that means.”
Because even if it was a fantasy, he needed to understand what Jason thought this was.
“I know how it sounds, and I had no idea it was possible, but Matt says one point four percent of shifters have a mate who isn’t a shifter.” Jason’s voice was fast, almost nervous. “So it can happen. We were made to be together.”
Riley tried to smother the wild, almost hysterical laugh that rose in his throat.
Made for someone. Because if he believed that—if he truly accepted it—it would mean everything else had been a lie.
All the years he’d spent believing he was only wanted for what he could give, that love was conditional and had to be earned.
“Like I was always meant to find you?” he asked, very quietly.
Jason nodded, and smiled. That smile. The one that had ruined Riley from the start.
Maybe it wasn’t logical. Maybe it wasn’t even true. But for once, Riley didn’t want logic or facts. He didn’t want plausible deniability or an exit strategy. He wanted this. He wanted Jason.
He leaned in and kissed him. Finally, he’d found where he belonged.