Chapter 2 #2
This was excellent, because I knew I could take her, but I got the sense Cheyenne was a hair puller and that never felt good (yeah, you could take from that, when Dream and I were younger, we fought, and she was a hair puller).
This was also bad, because it meant my Angel reprieve was over.
Shanti and Joey led the rest, which was surprising since Raye was usually the ringleader.
Then again, if Shanti and Joey hadn’t engaged in a staredown with Cheyenne that had her feet retreating toward her car, Raye wouldn’t have been free to grab my arm and start dragging me to the gate.
Shanti and Joey advanced so Cheyenne had no choice but to get into her car while the rest of them herded me through the gate, up the stairs and right to my unit whereupon Gemma opened the door (really, did all of them need keys?).
While I second-guessed this, they shoved me in, Shanti and Joey now bringing up the rear.
Joey closed the door.
And there I was, facing off against Raye, my ride or die, bestest bestie of all time, blonde, blue-eyed, tallish, semi-curvy, all of this hiding her inner badass.
Also Jessie: lean, brunette, edgy and always in black (like now, though she sometimes cut this with white, just not right then).
And Harlow: girl-next-door cute and currently wearing a pleated mini and a tee that said Tell Your Dog I Said Hi knotted at the waist, looking like she just came from cheerleader practice.
Then there was Shanti, who was Black and recently had a multitude of long, slender, twisted extensions put in, and they looked awesome on her.
Along with Willow, who was just Willow, cajz, herself, now wearing boyfriend jeans and one of Gabe’s tees, which meant she rolled out of a bed he was in that morning and confiscated it.
Rounding out the last of the group, there was Joey, who was edgier than Jess by a smidge, and was kind of a mini-me version of Martha, one of our neighbors at Oasis Square, a woman who told it like it was and had zero filter.
And finally, there was Gemma, cute, sweet, and dressed like she lived in a thatched roof cottage in a Disney movie and talked to mice.
Willow started it, and she did this with her eyes glued to the paper coffee cup in my hand.
“You went to JL Patisserie?”
There was hurt in her voice.
Then again, she was a pastry chef and in charge of treats at The Surf Club.
And she, like every Phoenician, knew you didn’t go to JL only to get coffee.
I could get in-depth about how you couldn’t compare the two.
Willow made cookies, cupcakes, muffins, shit like that, and they were outstanding.
JL did croissants, macarons, scones and shit like that, which were also outstanding.
But they were two different kettles of flour and butter, thus not comparable.
Unfortunately, before I could begin my litany of how you couldn’t compare the two, Raye belatedly assumed the mantle of ringleader.
“We can discuss that later. Now,”—she looked at me—“we gave you space. It’s time, once and for all, to share what the hell is up with you and Knox.”
On the one hand, I got her.
It had been over a year, and it wasn’t like they were blind and deaf. They saw our shit. They heard our shit. And as friends, naturally, they cared that our shit was obviously shit.
Last, I had not confided even a little bit of that shit.
They thought Knox and I had been circling each other, and they all wanted us together.
They had no idea.
But you know what?
It wasn’t their business.
Yes, they were my friends.
Yes, they were the best friends a girl could have.
It still wasn’t their business.
You know something else?
I was so over the pact Knox and I made that I was right then thinking it was utter horseshit.
I looked at Jess. “Around the time you and Eric got together, Knox and I got together.”
There was a collective gasp so huge, I was pretty certain my hair swayed forward with the breath they all sucked in.
I kept going, staring right at Raye, who was staring back with shock and betrayal in her eyes.
“It started on Thanksgiving at Mom and Dad’s.
That first one we had with the guys. It was big.
It was intense. So much, we were both flipped out about it at the same time acutely aware that if it went south, it would affect not only us, but our whole tribe. So we kept it under wraps.”
“You were together?” Harlow whispered, also sounding wounded.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
“Together-together?” she pushed.
“Cooking together. Sleeping together. Waking up together. Copious amounts of sex intermingled with all of that together. Together,” I stated.
“And you said nothing…for over a year?” Jessie demanded.
“It lasted two weeks,” I shared. “And then it was over. And yes, before you ask, it was hard not saying anything. I wanted to tell you.” I looked at Raye again.
“It felt weird, but not wrong, that I didn’t tell you.
It was precious. It was ours. It was that starting time, the beginning of it all, where it was all new and exciting and beautiful and precious, and we didn’t want everyone up in our faces about it.
We wanted it for ourselves. And if it worked out, we figured you’d all understand. ”
“We would,” Shanti said. “Then it didn’t work out, and more than a year has gone by.”
“I promised Knox I wouldn’t say anything. You were all already trying to push us together, getting in our business, if you knew…” I trailed off.
“Knew what?” Joey asked.
I took a deep breath and said, “I think the cat’s out of the bag that his sister is a complete mess.”
“Oh yeah, that cat is totally out of the bag,” Raye drawled.
“Well, his sister is a mess, and my sister is a mess, and he wasn’t all fired up to add my family dysfunction to his life,” I stated.
This was true.
However, this hadn’t really been an issue. Knox, like me, didn’t understand what Dream’s problem was, and it upset him she was a problem for me, so it was kinda an issue, just not a big one, nor one that came between us.
I did not share this with Dream yesterday, though.
“That’s why you broke up?” Gemma sounded disbelieving.
“Part of it,” I answered (that was a total lie).
“What’s the other part?” Raye pushed.
“The other part I’m not going to share.” (And this was why I uttered that total lie.)
“So you promised Knox, who you were with for two weeks, you wouldn’t impart this information to your best bitches, who you’ve known for years, and then you didn’t do that,” Raye said in a dull voice that stung because I hated that I made her sound that way.
Still, I couldn’t back down.
“And what would happen if I did?” I challenged.
But I didn’t allow them to answer.
I kept at them.
“Let’s go over our choices. One, you’d all be pissed at Knox, which would put our friend posse in jeopardy.
I’ll remind you, Raye, he served with Cap, your fiancé, and they’re super close.
And I don’t have to remind you that you and I are super close too.
” I looked at Jess, Harlow and Willow in turn.
“He’s super close with all your men.” I took them all in.
“Our whole tribe is super close, as tribes tend to be. So, maybe we fuck up that dynamic…for what? A two-week relationship that wasn’t strong enough to stay the course? ”
I could see understanding clear in Harlow’s eyes, as I heard my voice deteriorating, and actually all of their expressions changing, but now this was flowing, I couldn’t stop it.
“Or his buds get pissed at him and try to get him to try again with me, like Brady did, and I went along with that. Though, that was not my finest hour.”
Gemma, who was into Brady, as Brady was into Gemma, bit her lip and looked away.
There it was.
Proof.
Not my finest hour.
I kept speaking. “Or you get pissed at me for giving up and try to get me to have another go with him. But what eventually ended it was too big to surpass. I can’t share it with you because it might affect how you think of him, and I refuse to do that.
I might think it’s wrong, but it’s him. It’s how he is.
Who he is. It’s not for you to judge. It’s not for you to change.
If it isn’t for me to judge or change, it sure as hell isn’t for you. ”
“Luna–” Gemma tried to break in gently.
But there was no stopping me now.
“Trust me, you all were constantly pushing me at him anyway, not even knowing this, and I experienced the agony of that. If you knew we’d had what we’d had, you’d have doubled down, and I couldn’t have hacked it. So I kept it secret, like Knox asked, but I did that for me too, because I needed it.”
I was finally talked out, thank God, and more thanks to God, none of them forged into the silence.
Eventually, Jessie broke it. “I can’t really be pissed at you when I kept my whole family history from all of you until my brother disappeared, and it was outed.”
Very true.
“Though you did give me shit for doing that,” she continued. “But that didn’t last long so, sadly, I can’t hold a grudge.”
Thank God for that. Jess was hell on wheels with a grudge.
Willow glanced at Shanti.
Shanti suddenly was fascinated with her gold-strapped Havaianas-clad feet.
Shanti didn’t share.
I also didn’t share that she was total shit at hiding she had it bad for Liam, another Nightingale man, and she wasn’t going there (neither was Liam, who was also shit at hiding he was into Shanti big-time, though both of them were good at hiding this from each other).
“Now, I slept on Dream’s couch—” I began.
“You went to Dream?” Harlow’s voice was pitched high.
“I needed space and that guaranteed it,” I explained something that didn’t need to be explained since they’d dragged me into my own apartment, unlocking the door and everything.
“That would guarantee it,” Joey muttered.
That was almost funny.