Chapter 14
The next few weeks passed in a haze of worry, misery, and anger.
Antonio found himself lashing out at everyone, from Alyssia to Janice, and almost every day involved some sort of apology.
Without meaning to, he pushed everyone away until he found himself waking up and going to bed alone by choice rather than design.
Even when he was forced to be around other people, he didn’t feel entirely present, like he was cocooned in a glass box, unable or unwilling to make contact with the outside world.
One morning, as he sat drinking his coffee in the kitchen, he noticed a text on his phone that had arrived overnight.
It was from his father, but it wasn’t the usual pleas for a reconciliation, which surprised him.
He picked up his phone and read the text, brow furrowing, then dropped it onto the table, his face going a ghastly shade of white.
He bent down and picked it back up, re-reading the text as if hoping it had miraculously morphed into something else, but it hadn’t.
Alyssia wandered into the kitchen, eyes still heavy with sleep, and gave him a small wave of greeting.
She noticed he was pale and gently touched his shoulder.
He got up and embraced her, feeling the baby kick against him.
His daughter might not have made it into the world yet, but already he could feel her strength and power, and he smiled fondly as he stroked his wife’s bump.
“She’s going to be strong like her mother,” he murmured, the love in his voice so strong that his heart almost broke from the weight of it all.
“Are you OK?” Alyssia asked, reaching up to touch his face. “You look ill.”
“I feel ill, to be honest,” he replied, blinking slowly. “Just … some rather worrying news.”
“What’s happened? Is your dad all right?”
“He’s fine. It’s Maria.”
“Oh, no. What now?” Alyssia groaned, mentally preparing herself for the worst. She took a seat at the kitchen table and looked expectantly at him, bracing herself for the worst.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about, I promise,” Antonio reassured her, trying his best to find a smile. The best he could muster was a weak curve of his lips, which wasn’t convincing anybody, let alone his wife.
He got up from the table and swallowed hard, thinking furiously as he did so.
Alyssia had thankfully gone on maternity leave early due to the pregnancy exhausting her beyond belief, but Maria’s mental state meant that nobody was safe, not even his wife.
He hadn’t told her about it, preferring not to add any more stress, but as the due date loomed ever closer, his worries got bigger.
“Listen, you don’t need to go anywhere today, do you?” he asked, looking earnestly into her eyes.
She shook her head, and wrapped her arms around herself as a shiver ran over her body. Something was different, but she couldn’t think what. Inside her womb, her daughter stretched and kicked, sending ripples over her belly, and she stroked her bump to try and calm her nerves.
“OK, listen,” the urgency in Antonio’s voice made her feel even more on edge. “I need you to pack a bag and go stay with my cousin Ricky for a while. I know it’s not ideal, but I need you to trust me.”
“Ricky? He lives all the way in New Jersey, that’s miles away! Not to mention my maternity team’s here in New York! And what if the baby’s early? I know we’re still considering divorce, but you’re the father – I want you there to see this baby born, Antonio.”
“I know, I know, and trust me, I will do my absolute best, but you can’t be here right now. Things are happening that could take you away from me forever and I can’t … I can’t ...” he broke off, feeling an all too familiar tightness in his chest.
His breathing grew shallow, his vision started to blur, and he found himself gripping the sink so as not to fall on the floor in a heap. A fear like no other was threatening to take over his entire body, and now really wasn’t the time for all that.
Alyssia stared at her husband, wondering what on earth was going on for him to be so nervous.
For as long as they’d known each other, he’d been the strong one, the rock that never wavered, even when armed gangsters had turned up at the door demanding he produce various people or hand over things that they obviously didn’t have.
Seeing him this nervous, this terrified, made her wonder if something deeper was going on, but she wisely held her counsel.
“OK, sweetheart. If you think I need to stay with Ricky, then I’ll go.
I trust you.” she said softly, gently stroking his hair away from his forehead.
Antonio closed his eyes and leaned into the cool touch of her fingers on his skin, feeling the familiar peace that he always felt in her arms wash over him.
The tension started to ease as Alyssia kept stroking his head, her touch soothing him as it had always done.
The scent of her perfume gently found its way into his nose, a delicate balance of jasmine, rose, and another flower that he couldn’t quite identify.
He swallowed hard, desperately trying to resist the urge to kiss her, and then felt his arms gently wrap themselves around her, pulling her closer.
Alyssia stepped closer to her husband, the musky scent of his cologne as familiar as always.
It was her favourite, the smell of amber, cinnamon, and spice bringing her back to her childhood on the Andalucían coastline.
He was as strong and powerful as she remembered, and the breadth of his chest practically begged her to rest her head there.
She hesitated, wondering if she was making the right decision, and then gave in to the urge, feeling his breath catch in his chest as she rested her cheek on his shirt.
Her mind raced as she wondered if she was doing the right thing by trying to forgive him.
It had been almost four and a half months since she’d asked for the divorce, and he had been trying his absolute hardest to earn her trust back, but the fears were still present in her subconscious.
All the dinners and flowers in the world couldn’t make up for the betrayal, nor could the appointments they’d been to together.
Even when she saw him gazing in wonder at the sonograms, or asking the midwives a thousand and one questions about how best to look after her and the baby, the doubts still crept in.
Would he remain faithful after their baby was born?
Or would she end up the same way her mother did – sitting at home, slowly going insane, until somebody else stepped in to fill the role that he either couldn’t ? or wouldn’t?
Antonio’s heart pounded in his chest, but it was no longer because of his fears.
Instead, all of his withheld emotions started to bubble to the surface as the days and weeks of loneliness finally hit him.
He reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, hearing her breath quicken ever so slightly at his touch.
Slowly, painfully slowly, she raised her face until she was staring directly into his eyes, a lifetime of unspoken words hanging in the air between them.
Time seemed to stand still as they stared at each other, the world around them fading away in a blur of sorrows, love, regrets, and pain.
Antonio wondered if his wife’s eyes had always been that beautiful, or if he’d just never noticed them before, the deep brown flecked with gold as hypnotic as ever.
There were a few more lines on her face than he remembered, but neither of them were as young as they’d once been.
Even so, she was still a breathtakingly beautiful woman.
Her hair smelled of jasmine, the intoxicating perfume enough to make a man risk everything to be at her side.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he gently cupped her cheek in his hand and pulled her face towards him.
The world seemed like it was holding its breath until, like a tidal wave, their mouths met, and time snapped back into motion.
Her lips tasted like strawberry and honey, an heady mix that instantly transported him back to the first time he’d kissed her.
He’d been nervous then, but the desire and need to have her was still as strong as ever.
He started to pull away, realising that she might not be receptive to his advances, but was startled when Alyssia grabbed his shirt and tugged him back towards her, not wanting the moment to end.
Their lips met again, this time with urgency and passion, their tongues gently entwining in a dance that felt both ancient and new at the same time.
Her grip slowly loosened as her palms remained on his chest, his racing heart almost exploding from his chest as he tried his best not to break down in tears.
“Caro mio?” he breathed, his voice causing her lips to tingle. She let out a soft moan in response, her grip tightening on his shirt, and he felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes.
God, I love this woman, he thought, his entire body full to bursting with emotion.
The tears slowly ran down his cheeks, their saltiness dragging him back to reality.
Slowly, painfully slowly, they parted, eyes searching each other’s faces as if the answers to all their unspoken questions could be found there.
“I love you so much,” Antonio whispered, gently stroking her cheek with his hand.
Alyssia turned her cheek into his palm, feeling the weight she’d been carrying on her shoulders slowly lighten.
While it wasn’t going to solve all their problems, hearing him say that he loved her meant more than she could ever say.
Maybe, just maybe, when all this was over, there would be a chance for them to rebuild, forgive, and repurpose their lives.
“I love you too, Antonio,” she murmured back, planting another gentle kiss on his lips.
He’d always been her kryptonite, the one man who she’d throw everything away for, even if he hurt her a thousand times over.
It made zero sense to her, but she supposed love didn’t have to make sense. It just had to be there.
The jarring noise of Antonio’s phone ringing shattered the moment, and he couldn’t help but let out a frustrated groan, pulling her closer even as he dragged his phone from his pocket and looked at it.
“Why is it always when I’m in the middle of something?” he laughed, pasting a smile on his face.
Alyssia smiled back, knowing the feeling all too well.
Antonio answered the phone, gently stepping away so as not to be too loud, the conversation tense but not too heated.
It was Douglas, one of his father’s bodyguards, phoning to ask where he was.
After a short conversation, he hung up and took Alyssia’s hands in his.
“Pack your bag with things for you and the baby,” he told her firmly.
“Go stay with Ricky, like I suggested – he’s expecting you.
Douglas will be here shortly to take you there, and I’ll follow you there in a few days.
Don’t worry, amore. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or our daughter. ”
Alyssia’s eyes searched her husband’s face as if trying to find the answer to the meaning of life, but there were no answers there, just worry and love.
She gently stroked his cheek, watching his eyes flutter closed at her touch, and then left to pack, trying to swallow her nerves down for the sake of the baby.
Antonio stood in the kitchen until Douglas arrived, his usually taciturn face etched with concern. They shook hands briefly, the atmosphere so tense you could have cut it with a knife.
“You’ll protect her?” Antonio asked, hardly daring to ask the question. Douglas nodded silently, then cleared his throat.
“With my life, Mr Blackwood,” he replied, his gruff voice uncharacteristically gentle.
Antonio nodded, forcing himself to look calm as Alyssia walked into the room, a large duffel bag gripped tightly in her hands.
He took her in his arms and held her tightly, the smell of her hair etching itself on his brain, and then reluctantly let her go.
She found a smile for him from somewhere, and he did his utmost to return it.
“Drive safely.” He smiled, trying not to show his worry. “Text me when you get there, and I’ll call you later.”
“We’ll be fine,” Alyssia smiled. “Douglas has never let us down yet.”
With that, she turned and left the house, Douglas less than two feet behind her.
The house fell eerily silent, as if in mourning, and Antonio felt the gravity of the situation weighing down on his shoulders.
He stood there for what felt like eternity, wondering how his life had become so confusing, and then sent a text to his father to let him know that Alyssia had gone to New Jersey.
The reply was short but sweet – a simple Good – and he wished his father would sometimes say more than one word.
It wasn’t to be, however, and he didn’t let his mind dwell on it for too long. With the threat from Maria growing ever larger, there was no time for sentimentality, and deep down, he knew that. Only action would suffice.