Chapter 21
Harvey
Lying on my bed, I looked up into the eyes of the man who had completely turned my life on its head. How long had it been since I’d met him? I’d lost track, but in the short time, he’d burrowed into my life, shredding the last of my inhibitions as he went.
Gone were the thoughts of harm, replaced with the notion that I could have what I’d always secretly wanted. I could take my life back, make up for the years of denial all because my head had decided that what I was was wrong.
I knew that wasn’t true. Killian had shown me with his kindness and patience that there was another life to be had, and I wanted it badly.
“Still okay?” he asked, and his callused fingers traced a path down my body. His long hair, now loose, fell forward around his face.
I nodded, unable to form words.
“I want to see all of you.” He slipped his hand under my shirt. I gritted my teeth. If we were to do this, he should see everything. The scars, and the story of my life told by the tattoos I carried.
Some were childish, but as my fear and loathing had grown, they’d become more complex, more meaningful.
“I… I… don’t know what to do,” I stammered.
“Lie back and let me take care of you. Do you trust me?”
Of course I did, or we wouldn’t be here on my bed. This was my sanctuary, my safe haven, the only place I could truthfully call my own.
No one entered this room except me.
“I trust you.”
“Good. Stop me at any time. You promise?”
He was so thoughtful, not once pushing me into something I wasn’t happy doing.
Taking the hem of my shirt, he carefully slipped it over my head. I froze at first, not wanting him to see the scars, but I needn’t have worried.
“My God. You are beautiful.”
I squirmed as his fingers skimmed my side, never once mentioning them. “I’m nothing special.”
“You are to me. I’m privileged you’ve let me see you like this. I’m guessing no one has before.”
I shook my head. “I’ve never been in bed with anyone before. This is all new.”
“I’ll take it slowly.”
I wanted him to, but I was eager for everything he had to offer. The growing bulge in the front of his trousers had me desperate to see him undressed again.
“These tattoos…” His voice trailed off as he bent to kiss them. “And right here is where you’ll put the dragon.” He stroked my chest, his touch so gentle. “You’re so talented. Don’t waste that skill,” he whispered.
I clutched the bedsheets as his tongue did things to my nipples I’d only seen in movies.
“Dear God, Killian. You’re killing me here.”
“Not a bad way to go, but I’ll go easy on you.”
“I need to get these off.” I tugged at my jeans, my cock straining against the stiff fabric.
“Here, let me.” He undid the button and pulled down the zip, then gripped the bottoms and slipped them down my legs.
I had more tattoos, but plenty more scars, too. My thighs had always been prime cutting skin. I waited for a comment, but none came.
“You still okay, Harv?” He ran his hands up my legs, goosebumps erupting in their wake. I quivered from his touch, my skin hypersensitive. My breathing quickened, noisy in the room’s quiet.
And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, he took my mouth with his.
Pleasure surged through me, and my heart thundered in my chest. Was it meant to feel this way?
In that moment, Killian was my only focus.
His hands, his lips, his touch.
I sucked in a breath as sharp teeth tugged on my lower lip.
“So responsive.”
“Hmm, need more.” I arched my back. This was too much and not enough. In all this time, I hadn’t touched him, letting him explore my body, but that needed to change. I grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt. “Take it off.”
“Easy, Harv. We don’t want to finish before we’ve even started. We have plenty of time.”
But he sat back on his heels and shed his shirt, revealing a taut stomach with a trail of dark hair that led from his belly button into the front of his jeans.
What did they call it? A treasure trail, that was it.
I ran my hands up his stomach, and in a fit of daring, tweaked his nipple.
“Ouch!” Shock registered on his face, then a smile. “You little…”
He pounced, his fingers digging into my sides. Shrieks left me as he tickled me. I squirmed and tried to get away, but he had me pinned down.
“Don’t think you can get away, Harv. I’ve got you now.”
His hands held my wrists on the bed, his body pressed against mine
“Please,” I gasped. “Please, no more.”
“Are you sure about that?” He rolled his hips, letting me know how much this was affecting him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t turned on as fuck.
“I want you,” I said, not knowing exactly what it was that I wanted.
Lowering his head, he kissed me. Not frantic, no tongues, but a tender kiss full of promise. His lips touched mine; once, twice, three times, until finally they covered mine.
His tongue slipped inside, filling my mouth with the taste of him.
Still restrained, he pressed his body to mine, his hard cock aligned with mine. I dropped my legs open and moaned as he ground into me.
Fucking hell. I never knew it could be like this. So raw, yet intimate.
I fought against his grip, needing to touch myself. It’d been so long; I wasn’t sure if I’d last another second.
He released me, climbed off the bed, and removed his briefs.
With a slap, his dick hit his stomach. He stood before me and stroked it, not unlike the last time we did this. His long, slow pulls had me salivating. I watched wide-eyed as it grew bigger with every tug.
“Please,” I begged. “Let me touch you.”
I’d never done this before, but I wouldn’t let that stop me. He crept towards me, his movements graceful and unhurried. And then, there he was, his huge, veiny dick right next to my face.
I flicked out my tongue and tasted the clear drop of precum, ready to fall.
I rubbed my dick through my briefs, getting harder with each stroke.
Slowly, I opened my mouth, silently pleading for him to enter me.
He slipped the end in first, and I suckled, tasting the tang of his skin.
I placed my hand on his butt and forced him deeper, my mouth stretched wide.
I’d never done it before, but I instinctively knew what to do. How hard could it be?
Fucking hard. His fat cock hit the back of my throat. I gagged, my eyes watering, but I refused to pull back.
Taking him as far down as I could, I wrapped my other hand around his base. I still had a good few inches to go, and there was no way it would fit. I jacked him off, all the while sucking him.
I looked at him through tear-soaked eyes, my mouth full of saliva, and watched as he threw his head back, his long hair streaming down his back.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Harv.”
His treasure trail beckoned me. I released his arse and ran my hands through the dark patch of pubic hair.
“No more, Harv.” He backed away, a string of spit keeping us attached. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and bit down on my lip.
Fuck, that was hot.
“Good fucking God. Where did you learn to do that?”
I wriggled out of my briefs, cool air brushing against my sensitive skin. My balls contracted as he touched them.
“Fucking perfect.” He sat back on his heels, his face full of admiration, his eyes hooded. “I want to taste you.”
Before I could say a word, he swallowed my dick, right to the base.
I shouted and gripped the bedclothes tightly. My hips lifted from the bed, forcing myself deeper. He didn’t waver or gag as I had, his nose embedded in my pubes.
His warm mouth engulfed me, his tongue swirling around my dick. He didn’t need his hands and rested them on my thighs, forcing them apart.
I knew I wouldn’t last. How could I when he was doing things to me I’d only ever dreamt about?
“Killian,” I warned. His eyes met mine, his head bobbing up and down, cheeks hollowed. “I’m gonna come.”
He raised an eyebrow but didn’t falter.
Every muscle in my body tensed, my balls tightened, and with a shout, my orgasm ripped through me.
I threw my head back in complete ecstasy and shuddered. “Killian. Oh my God! Fuck, yes.”
With every swallow, more of my spunk shot down his throat. He didn’t stop working every drop from me until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Stop, please,” I begged. “No more.”
He released me and licked his lips. He wiped the dribble of cum from his chin and licked it up, a wicked smile on his face.
“Good?”
“What do you think?” I wasn’t sure I remembered my name at that point.
“You look a little flushed. Maybe you need cooling down.”
What did he mean? Ignoring my feeble protests, he straddled me and gripped his cock.
I’d never tire of this and watched as he jacked himself. He leant back on one hand, his hips thrust towards me, his cock straining, heavy balls hanging down.
Inexperienced as I was, everything with Killian seemed natural and unhurried. I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out, wanting to taste him.
His eyes lit up, the veins in his neck taut as his hand sped up.
“Oh, yeah, Harv. It’s coming.” He edged closer, the tip of his cock so close to my lips.
“In my mouth. I want to taste you. Fuck, Killian. Now.”
“Fuck, yes.” I’d never seen so much spunk as spurt after spurt splattered me. He forced his hips forward, the head now in my mouth as liquid ran down my throat.
Warm and salty, I’d never tasted it before and hoped to fuck it wouldn’t be the last time.
For once, the voices were quiet. Maybe it was the euphoria, or maybe it was being right in the moment with Killian.
Whatever it was, that was happening again.
He collapsed next to me, two sweaty bodies huddled together, post orgasm.
“Fuck that was hot, Harv. I loved every minute of that. Are you okay?” A hand trailed down my chest, rough fingers spreading the rest of his release all over my skin.
Was I okay?
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Fuck, I’m knackered. I might need a nap now.”
He sighed and closed his eyes, all tension gone from his face. He looked younger than his years, the lines now smooth.
I was tired too, and while I knew we should clean up, my eyes drooped, lulled to sleep by the gentle snores of the man lying next to me.
Bleary-eyed, I woke sometime later to the sound of Killian’s voice.
“Sure, yeah, I can be on the next train.”
I couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but I assumed it was Sullivan.
“Yeah, no problem. I just need to get a few things together, and I’ll be ready to go. Yep. Yep. That’s fantastic. Yeah, it’s fucking great, man. I can’t wait to meet him.”
I closed my eyes and turned away from him, curling into a ball and pretending to still be asleep.
I hoped we’d have some more time together, but it seemed duty called, and he needed to go. I couldn’t begrudge him that.
He had a career to build, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset.
Maybe I was being selfish, but these feelings and emotions were all new to me.
Killian had gone through this before, I was sure of it, and he knew how to deal with relationship intricacies.
However, my mind swirled with scenarios where we lived together, where I followed him around from gig to gig, the dutiful boyfriend.
I’d fallen hard for him, there was no denying that. My heart hurt thinking he wouldn’t come back, but he wouldn’t do that to me.
Would he?
“Hey, Harv.” A gentle shake. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. That was Sully on the phone. He’s found me a manager and wants me down there to meet him in the morning. There’s a train I can catch, but I’ll need to leave in the next fifteen minutes.”
I rolled over. “Yeah, of course. You must go. This is important for you.”
He bent to kiss my lips, and I hoped he didn’t detect the tremble as I tried to mask my tears behind a fake smile.
“Are you sure? I guess I could go first thing in the morning. Stay here with you tonight.”
“It’s fine. I’ll be okay.” Except I knew I wouldn’t be. He didn’t want to stay; I could tell by the way he was dragging on his clothes.
“I should be back in a few days.” He kissed me again. “Please, don’t worry.”
Except I would. Every single minute of every single day.