CHAPTER 36 - OLDENBURG, GERMANY—JULY 19, 1917
Anna stood next to Norbie as the morning train chugged into the station.
Iron wheels screeched over the rails as the locomotive slowed to a stop.
The engine hissed, spewing a black cloud and filling her nose with an acrid smell of coal smoke.
A surge of panic flooded her body. She drew in a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Norbie asked.
“I’m sure,” she said. “I’ll send word to you after I arrive.”
“All right,” he said. “But I’ll be ready to leave at a moment’s notice if you need me.”
She appreciated his support, and she had no doubt that Norbie, if given the invitation, would take the train with her regardless that he hadn’t packed a bag.
I’d love for you to join me, but I feel that I need to see him on my own.
She shook away her thoughts and said, “I didn’t get a chance to talk to Emmi, and I’m not sure if Fleck will explain the reason for my absence. Will you speak with her for me?”
“Of course.” He gave her a hug. “Tell Max hallo for me.”
“I will,” she said, releasing him.
He looked into her eyes. “Everything will be all right.”
Anna nodded, feeling thankful for his reassurance, and then picked up her luggage and climbed on board a carriage.
An attendant punched her ticket, which was purchased with money she’d saved from working at the guide dog school, and she located a vacant seat.
Minutes later, the train jerked, and then chugged forward.
She peered out her window and saw Norbie wave to her from the landing.
She pressed her fingers to the glass and watched him disappear.
She leaned back but was unable to rest. Despite sleeping little, if at all, her mind raced with thoughts of Max and her encounter with Dr. Stalling.
What does the doctor know that he’s unwilling to tell me?
Why didn’t Max inform me about his visit with Stalling?
She knew it was something medical and that it was likely serious, otherwise Stalling would not have persuaded Fleck to allow her to leave.
She reached to her neck and clasped her mutter’s locket.
“Harbor your heart,” she whispered to herself.
Whatever it is that Max is going through, we’ll get through it together.
She retrieved a book from her bag and tried to read, but her brain was unable to focus on the words.
Instead, she leaned back in her seat and watched the German countryside flash by her window.
She remained awake for the entire seven-and-a-half-hour journey, which included a short delay and a train change in the city of Hanover.
Norbie had packed her a lunch of sliced black bread with raw cabbage, but she’d lost her appetite for food.
A few hours before sunset, she arrived at the Leipzig station.
The city was far bigger and more populated than her hometown of Oldenburg.
The sidewalks were crowded, forcing Anna to weave between throngs of pedestrians.
Also, the street crossings were more difficult due to a high volume of horse-drawn wagons and motorized vehicles.
And it saddened her to think that Max and Nia had not been given the opportunity to practice their training skills in such a congested urban environment.
She stopped in an apothecary shop and asked the proprietor for directions to Max’s street address, which she had from their letter correspondence.
Thirty minutes later, she arrived on his street, but she struggled to find his apartment building due to a lack of address signs.
She canvassed the area until an old woman, who was sweeping a broom over the front steps of a brick rowhouse, guided her to the correct building.
In the entrance hall, she glanced to a group of metal letter boxes.
Her heartbeat quickened as she read Max’s name above one of the slots.
She sucked in air to catch her breath, and then climbed the stairs to his apartment.
She paused, placing down her luggage and rubbing an ache in her elbow.
Please, let him be all right. She buried her trepidation and knocked.
Paws pattered over the floor inside the apartment. A sound of sniffing emanated from a gap under the door.
Nia. Anna blinked back tears as she waited for Max to answer the door. Seconds passed. Her shoulder muscles tightened. She knocked again. A moment later, footsteps grew inside the apartment.
“Who is it?” Max’s voice asked from behind the door.
She clasped her hands. He sounds the same. “It’s Anna.”
Nia barked. Her toenails clicked over the hardwood floor.
She knows that it’s me.
A deadbolt unlocked, and the door opened.
Nia lunged to Anna, nearly knocking her over.
“Nia!” she said, kneeling and rubbing the dog’s body with her hands.
“Anna, what are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.” She kissed Nia on the head, stood to face Max, and froze.
His complexion was ashen with dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in days, and his hair was rather long and uncombed. A coarse stubble covered his face and neck.
A pang pierced Anna’s chest. Oh, Max.
“Why didn’t you write to let me know you were coming?” he asked, still clasping the doorknob.
She fought back her angst. “I thought I would surprise you. May I come in?”
He rubbed bristles on his chin, and then lowered his head, as if he’d become self-conscience of his appearance. “Of course,” he said, stepping aside.
She retrieved her luggage and entered with Nia.
He closed the door, bolted the lock, and then turned to her, placing his hands to his sides.
He’s making no effort to embrace me. Her heart sank.
“Please, have a seat,” Max said. “I’ll prepare us some coffee.”
“Coffee would be nice,” Anna said, despite the growing ache in her abdomen. She put down her luggage and sat at a kitchen table.
“How was your train trip?” Max asked, gliding his hand over the counter to locate a tin container.
“Gut.”
Nia padded to Anna and lowered her chin to her lap.
“I’ve missed you, Nia,” Anna said, running her fingers through her fur.
“She’s missed you, too.” Max poured grinds into a coffeepot and, using his finger as a gauge, added water from a ceramic pitcher.
Anna struggled with what to say, and so did Max, given his focus on preparing the coffee. So, she played with Nia until the brew was ready.
Max placed two cups on the table and sat across from her.
Anna took a sip. “It’s gut.”
“I’m using Norbie’s bark coffee recipe.”
“He’d be pleased to hear that,” she said.
“How is he?”
“He’s well, and he wanted me to tell you hallo for him.”
He nodded, and then sipped his drink.
Anna stared at him, thin and haggard. He looks exhausted. A mixture of fear and sorrow swelled inside her. She squeezed her cup. “How long have you been ill?”
Max’s shoulders slumped. “Is it that obvious?”
“Ja,” she said. “How long?”
“A while.”
Her chest tightened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry about me.”
“You should have apprised me of your health,” she said. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are,” he said.
“But friends confide in each other. Friends help each other in times of need.”
Max rubbed his forehead.
“Tell me what happened,” she said.
He ran a finger over the rim of his cup.
“Please, I want to know everything.”
“All right,” Max said. He tilted his head upward, as if he were searching through his memories. “In Oldenburg, I’d begun to have episodes of feeling winded after long walks.”
Goose bumps cropped up on Anna’s arms.
“I’d had them before, so I didn’t pay much attention to them. But toward the end of guide dog training, the short of breath episodes increased, and—on a few instances—they included dizziness. The first occurrence was when I fell down the stairs at your home while taking Nia outside.”
An image of Max, lying on the ground in Norbie’s workshop, flashed in her head. Her mouth turned dry. “I remember. I thought it was because you weren’t getting enough food to eat.”
“Ja,” he said. “That’s what I thought, too.”
Nia padded to him and placed her head on his knee.
Max gently rubbed the dog’s ears. “I found out the real cause of my fatigue the day that Nia and I were assigned to explore the hospital grounds on our own. While we were walking in the garden, I became light-headed. A nurse came to my aid, and she summoned Dr. Stalling.”
Anna’s hands trembled.
“Stalling was very kind; he insisted on giving me a bowl of warm broth and examining me. After he listened to my chest, he summoned another doctor, who had expertise with treating veterans with gas inhalation.” Max took a sip of coffee, as if he was reluctant to finish the story, and then set aside his cup.
“The doctor examined me, and I was given a few breathing tests. Afterward, I was informed that I was in the early stages of respiratory failure.”
No! Tears welled up in her eyes. She leaned forward and clasped his hand.
He squeezed her fingers. “I’d known, since my treatment in a field hospital at the front, that my lungs were scorched by chlorine gas. The doctors had initially thought that my lungs would heal enough for a normal life. But it turns out that there was far more damage done.”
Oh, God. “Were you prescribed a treatment plan?”
He shook his head.
“Have you been assigned a Leipzig-based doctor who can help you?” she asked, refusing to accept his diagnosis.
“Anna,” he said, his voice soft. “There’s nothing they can do.”
“Nein!” Anna cried. “There must be something that can be done.”
“I’m afraid not,” he said.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Did Stalling or his colleague tell you how much time you have?”
“Six months to a year.”
“Oh, Max,” she cried.
He stood and wrapped her in his arms.
Anna sobbed, her body shaking. She remained in his embrace, attempting to come to terms that Max had told her he was dying.
She’d encountered terminal cases countless times as a nurse.
But nothing could have prepared her, she believed, for learning that she had little time left with the man whom she wanted to spend her life with.
“I was in denial at first,” he said, as if he could read her thoughts.
She sniffed, trying to slow the flow of tears.
“When I’d returned to Leipzig, I’d refused to accept the diagnosis.
I spent my initial days back home trying to land a job as a pianist, as if finding employment would somehow prove to myself and others that I would be fine.
But as days passed, and my breathing became more labored, I came to terms with the truth. ”
“I’m here for you, Max.”
He pressed his cheek to her hair.
“I would have come to take care of you.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s part of the reason I didn’t confide in you. I was worried you’d jeopardize your dream of training guide dogs by caring for me.”
She released him and placed her palms on his chest. “I don’t care. You’re what matters.”
Nia nuzzled their legs.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I wish I would have told you earlier.”
“It’s all right,” she said. “I’m here now.”
His jaw quivered. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“Me too,” she breathed.
“How long are you able to stay?”
“I’ve been given a two-week leave,” she said, her heart breaking. “But I plan to stay as long as you’ll have me.”