46. Remy
Chapter forty-six
Remy
I can’t say whether it was the murder I watched her commit, or the shower that helped. Or maybe it was just sharing the silence with her. I don’t know what it was, but I’ll do it again and again if I have to, draw her out of that beautiful prison that is her own mind time after time if that’s what it takes to catch glimpses of the woman that I fell in love with. I’d stay forever in this little corner of our world, my patience renewed by her progress.
Unfortunately, the constant stream of unsolicited visitors destroys any chance of that possibility.
First, it’s Victor who shows up on our doorstep, desperate to speak to Claire. He’s clearly spiraling, not just because he looks like shit, but because we agreed that he needed to be careful about where he went. Just because you don’t see someone watching you, doesn’t mean they aren’t. I wrestled him out the door and after he fell apart in the hall, curled himself into a ball, and then pulled himself together, he finally left.
Then it’s Violet, who doesn’t put up much of a fight when I tell her that Claire isn’t ready to talk to her. She took it in stride, but then showed up next with Wes, as if that was going to appeal to Claire or me. If Wes told Violet about our relationship, I’m guessing he left out the finer details, like how he let her sister be tied up and accosted in a dirty warehouse.
Once I got them to leave, it was my sister who showed up.
Rhea is the only one who I let in, and the only one who didn’t ask to see Claire. But I guess she must have heard her voice, because Claire comes out of her room and sinks into the chair, waiting to hear whatever Rhea has to say.
I overheard their last conversation, know what it devolved to, know that they haven’t spoken to one another in days… the longest they’ve gone without talking since they met. I think they each owe the other an apology, but for now, at least, I won’t insert myself into their dynamic.
“I’m going home.” Rhea explains, tugging at her bottom lip thoughtfully. “I… mean, back to school. I have finals and my degree…”
Claire nods. “Of course.”
I can tell that wasn’t the response my sister expected by the way she hesitates, her eyes flickering briefly to mine. “Are you… coming? Or…?”
“No.” Claire doesn’t have to consider it, which makes me wonder if she’s thought about this already. “I can’t, yet.” I watch her throat work to swallow, the pattern of the chain marks finally fading into a sallow yellow around the edges.
“Okay.” Rhea nods her understanding, and for a moment, the air feels heavy with all the things that none of us are saying. “Do you—do you want me to talk to your professors about a hiatus? Should I send your books or anything?”
“No,” Claire assures her. “I’ll get in touch with them and figure it out.”
This is the most I’ve heard her speak since she called me to prove the point that I don’t own her, and she can sleep with whoever she wants. That point no longer stands. I tried to deny that I cared, but I can’t deny that she owns me… maybe even more than I own her.
“Okay…” Rhea hesitates, and then her eyes turn to me. “Eli and Dimitri…”
“I know.” I assure her. “Dimitri will accompany you for the rest of the semester.”
“Thank you.” She breathes a sigh of relief, and I note the curiosity on Claire’s face. It’s a story for another time, though .
“He’s valuable to me, Rhea.” I tell her honestly. “But you matter more. Please, treat him well.”
“Of course.” She smiles, rolling her eyes just a little.
“But not too well.” I add, as an afterthought. I don’t know the depth of whatever it is between them, and I don’t much care at the moment. I do know that Dimitri isn’t the sort of man who I can see giving her the life I want my sister to have… a life without worry or decay.
She’s laughing as she turns to go, but it slips when she sees Claire rising from the chair. It’s strange, sometimes. She’s so strong and powerful in her own ways, that sometimes I forget how small Claire is. In moments like this one, it takes me by surprise again.
“I’m sorry.” Claire tells her, crossing the distance to her best friend. “For… running headfirst into brick walls.”
Rhea opens her mouth, and I’m not sure if she’s going to say something back or if she’s just surprised that Claire’s relenting. But Claire doesn’t give her a chance to say anything if she’d planned to. “I can’t explain why I needed to do it. Maybe I never will be able to explain why I needed to. But you’re right. I wasn’t thinking about you.”
“You don’t have to think about me.” Rhea sighs. “But I wish you would. Claire, I can’t lose you, but I feel like I am right now and it scares the hell out of me.”
I turn my back to them, offering them a little privacy. Their friendship was a thing long before I came into the picture, so I guess the least I could do is let them work out their problems in peace. I don’t leave the room entirely, finding my phone and looking down at the messages I’ve yet to acknowledge.
It’s been nearly a week since I iced Kent out, telling him that I wouldn’t prioritize the rest of them over Claire anymore. I don’t expect to see a missed call from him, but it’s there, his name red on the screen. A glance at the girls assures me they haven’t devolved into screaming or hair-pulling, so I hit the redial button, expecting to hear him launch into a monologue about how disappointed he is with me.
Instead, when he answers, he greets me coldly. “Boudreaux.”
I didn’t realize we were back on a last name basis, after everything we went through together. But I guess I can’t fault him for being upset with me. “Kent,” I say. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” His voice is terse, impatient. I can tell he didn’t want to answer, and he probably wanted to call even less. “I need a favor.”
I almost laugh at the irony of him asking for a favor after pouting because I told him I was done doing favors for others. I don’t laugh, though, because his next words chase away any of the irony or humor of the situation.
“I found her.”