59. Claire
Chapter fifty-nine
Claire
“Florida, huh?” Remy asks, peering out the window at the expanse of palm trees lining the path down the drive.
“Blame Rhea,” I shrug, tapping the steering wheel nervously. I know that my family is waiting for me at the end of this drive—the family I never knew I had, and the ones that have been pulled into our world. I’m lucky, sure, to have found them all. But honestly, all I want right now is Remy.
It’s not that I don’t want the rest of them, but I’m too tired to deal with it all, and there is a lot that needs dealt with.
“I thought we’d go to Texas,” Remy says, “and get you a Stetson…”
“A Stetson?” I ask, glancing over to find him smirking at me.
“Yeah,” he grins, a wicked little tip of his full lips. “A cowboy hat.”
My jaw falls open as the joke falls into place. “I’d smack you if you weren’t injured.”
“Don’t be offended, sweetheart. It’s a compliment. Best sex of my life.”
“I think you were just high on painkillers.” I roll my eyes, but he shakes his head emphatically.
“Not a chance. The way you rode me? Well, let’s just say I can never attend a rodeo now.”
“Was that another one of your secret billionaire talents?” I muse. “Bull-riding?”
“No.” He laughs. “But it’s ruined either way.”
I shake my head, trying not to let the fear creep in to this perfect moment. This sort of banter is what drew us together, what made me fall for him. I haven’t even picked myself back up yet.
Our time together has been a whirlwind from the start, and I still don’t feel that I’ve caught my breath.
“I wish we’d just gone to Costa Rica,” I huff, noting all the cars lined up in the driveway.
“It’s not too late,” Remy shrugs. “I could call Simon, ask him to come meet us.”
I’m fairly certain he’s serious—he’d do it, if that’s what I really want. But running from my problems won’t make them go away.
“It’s tempting.” I sigh.
Remy grins, already knowing that I’m not changing my mind. As much as I want to hide away with Remy in a little bubble of bliss, we have obligations to a lot of people.
When I park the car, he only glances at me, waiting for my command.
“I just need a minute,” I promise, running a finger along the steering wheel, lost in my thoughts.
“You own them all, Claire.” He shrugs again, like he doesn’t mind waiting in the car with me all night. “Just let me know when.”
The sun is slipping behind the house, and I don’t doubt that from the beach, it must be a gorgeous view. Shades of pink and hints of purple break through the clouds, softening the light in the car.
There are a million ways I could tell him, but I don’t think any of it will make any of this easier on me, so I swallow the stale air in my lungs and turn to him, blowing out a breath.
“I have to tell you something.”
“You mean that you and Rhea bought this house so you could raise a bunch of children like they’re your own?” He laughs as my jaw falls open. Before I can even ask just how long he was eavesdropping in the hospital, he laughs. “When you flew home last summer and she stayed behind to take care of some business, she was looking for properties.”
“She…” I blink, processing that information. “She’s been planning this since last summer?”
“Probably longer. Who knows with her? Honestly, I was glad to support it. If she pulled this off, you’d get the family you wanted without another man touching you, and that’s one less murder I’d have to commit.”
I study his face, looking for any sign that he’s joking, but find nothing. “Sorry, you mean you wanted me to become a… foster mom so that I’d get kids without having to fuck someone else?”
“You left me because you wanted kids.” He argues. “I was terrified you were going to make it happen. The night you called me to ask if you could fuck the whole football team?”
I cringe and then bury my face in my hands.
“That wasn’t my finest moment.”
“I told you that you were free to do whatever you wanted,” Remy says, “but I texted Moose that I’d slit his throat if I found out another man so much as laid a hand on you. Not my finest moment… but I’d do it over again.”
I’m not sure what possesses me, but this feels like a good time to come clean. “I tried to seduce him.” I rush out. “Moose. Not because I wanted him, but because I wanted to feel… wanted .”
To my surprise, Remy doesn’t look angry about that. Instead, he traces the side of my face with gentle fingers, outlining my cheek, my lips, my jaw. “You’re wanted, baby. I’ve wanted nothing but you since I saw you in my room.”
I nod, refusing to let that admission make me swoon. “But only me. Not a family, kids…” I gesture to the home in front of us, which is tall and almost palatial. It has a smaller blueprint than Remy’s home or the Boudreaux’s Oregon residence, but it’s probably just as huge in terms of square footage. “How am I going to have anything with you when I have to make a commitment to these kids? What am I going to do, alternate weekends and split holidays? You’re willing to share partial custody of me with your sister?”
“Partial custody?” He laughs. “No, I wouldn’t consider that. I’m never letting you out of my sight again. I’ll be installing your GPS tracker soon.”
“It’s not funny.” I shake my head, staring out at the building before us.
“I’m not joking.” Remy assures me, catching my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I’m about to be responsible for thirteen children.” I shake my head. We were able to reunite eight children with their families after the crew scanning through pixelated missing children’s photos for the better part of a week, but there are still a baker’s dozen who can’t be traced, who have no one… except me. “ Me . I didn’t even finish college. I can barely take care of myself, and I’m going to play mother to a bunch of kidnapped children? That’s fucking insane. You realize that?”
Despite telling me he wasn’t joking, his lips twitch as he appraises me. And then he sobers for a minute. “You know you don’t have to do this? We can back out and no one would blame you.”
“I’m not backing out,” I shake my head.
“You want to do this?”
I hesitate for only a minute. I do want this. I’ve always wanted this—to rewrite my story for someone else. I want to be someone’s safe space, their port in the storm. The thing is, I always imagined being that for a child, but I think I may be that for Remy, too.
“I want you, too.”
He lifts a brow, glancing out the windshield for a minute before turning back to me. “You have me. I’m not going anywhere.”
I roll my eyes at him, appreciating the sentiment, but it does nothing to solve our predicament. He may think he’s in, but he already told me, pretty much from the start, that he didn’t want anything like this.
“You don’ t believe me?” He pouts.
“Do I believe that you want to raise other people’s kids as your own? Do I believe that you want to give up your bachelor lifestyle to play Papa Bear?” I laugh. “Sorry, but no.”
“I thought that I couldn’t have this life, Claire. I pushed you away because it wasn’t fair to string you along with promises of what you could have, but I wouldn’t give you.”
“Is that not what you’re doing now?” I challenge.
“No.” He shakes his head. “Because I’ve realized I’d rather hurt every day of my life for one perfect day with you. I realized that I’d give you the heart in my chest even if I knew you were going to stomp on it, because it’s fucking worthless to me without you. I realized that the only reason I didn’t want a family was because I thought I’d just be breeding soldiers for this fucked up Brotherhood my parents sold me into. I want it all, Claire, and I want it with you by my side.”
I swipe at the tears that broke free from my eyes and slipped down my cheek, sniffling. “I’m supposed to believe that six months changed your mind?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Not six months. It took one single moment for me to realize that I should have built you a fucking rocket and brought you the moon back in pieces. It took one single moment to realize that if anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself for letting you down. It took one single moment for me to realize that I want what you want, because all I want is for you to be happy, because that’s what love is. I didn’t know it before, and that made me scared to have a family, because how could I love them if I didn’t even know what it was supposed to be like? My parents never had that to give me, you didn’t have anyone to give it to you. But I found it in you, and now I know that I’ll be a good father to thirteen kids or thirty-two or forty-five, because your love is infinite. It feeds mine.”
I feel like I could choke on the air, and I’m pretty sure my heart skips several beats before it returns to a normal rhythm, though I feel it pounding against my ribcage, like it’s trying to break out of its restraints and get to him. My throat is thick with tears I won’t shed, because I’m putting on a brave face, pretending that all of what he just said isn’t downright terrifying.
Guess it’s my turn to even the score. I let out a caged breath and find the courage to glance at him from the corner of my eye.
If he’s going to run, I bet this will be the moment.
“I’m pregnant.”