Chapter 13
thirteen
. . .
The frustration that pulsed through Drew as he and Lee made their way to the nearest Tube station to head back to Lee’s flat was so close to the boiling point that it scared him.
He was fairly sure he scared a few fans who looked like they might approach him with the fire in his scowl and the way he marched through the Underground station to the platform like he was on a mission to Hell to give Satan a piece of his mind.
It sucked, in a way. He actually did like meeting people, and the novelty of being recognized in foreign cities hadn’t totally worn off yet. But he was in no mood to be anybody’s evening entertainment.
Especially not Jessica’s.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lee asked calmly, once the two of them were seated side-by-side in the speeding underground train.
“Nope,” Drew said, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms.
Everything had felt like it was coming to a head since he’d walked back into his apartment the other day and found Jessica there a day early.
It had been like the bandage he’d been delaying tearing off snagging on something and ripping half his skin off when he least expected it.
He didn’t love her anymore, which was a given.
Realizing he hadn’t loved her for a while, at least not that way, was more difficult to swallow.
Most uncomfortable of all was the growing certainty that he was falling in love with Lee.
It was way too soon to go all the way to admitting he’d lost his heart to the man, but the beginnings of all the feels were there.
He wanted to be around Lee all the time.
The man’s texts never failed to make him smile, even on the toughest days on the set.
He thought about Lee when he was falling asleep at night and wondered how he’d slept when he woke up in the morning.
And yes, he’d jacked off in the shower while thinking about Lee and wondering what his mouth would feel like around his cock. Lee had pegged him perfectly on that one.
And speaking of pegging…. Drew had actually thought about what it might feel like to be fucked.
He’d gone so far as to try fingering himself and had come to two conclusions.
One, Nikky was right, back when they’d discussed penetration while filming Cooked, when he said lube was absolutely necessary. Two, it wasn’t a half bad sensation.
By the time they left the Tube and made their way to Lee’s flat, Drew was worked up in more ways than one. He was well aware that he was being too quiet for Lee’s comfort. Lee kept glancing at him as they walked down his street of aesthetic old Victorian buildings holding hands.
Lee didn’t say anything once they entered his building and headed upstairs, probably because he didn’t want to disturb the neighbors, but as soon as they were safe in the confines of the flat, he said, “We really should talk about this. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” Drew lied by rote, then stepped right into Lee, grasping the sides of his face.
Lee wasn’t ready for the kiss, but Drew needed their mouths to be in full contact immediately or he thought he might combust. He kissed Lee sloppily, sucking on his bottom lip for a moment, and when Lee opened his mouth, thrusting his tongue inside.
He could still detect the faintest hints of the sweet chocolate dessert Lee had had with his supper, and that, along with the pure release that came with intimate physical contact, made him moan into Lee’s mouth.
Lee loosened up almost at once and kissed Drew back frantically.
He backed Drew deeper into the room until his thighs hit the sofa.
Feeling something solid behind him was grounding enough that he grabbed the hem of Lee’s shirt and tugged it up so he could slide his hands across the warm skin of Lee’s sides and stomach.
“Feels good,” Lee managed to murmur as he pushed the designer leather jacket off Drew’s shoulders.
There were no words for how good everything felt to Drew or how desperately he needed it.
Everything was upside down in his life. A year ago, he’d been a struggling actor having fun and making lifelong friends on the set of a show that no one had ever imagined would make it so big.
Jessica had been normal, and his most important friend had been Abby.
He hadn’t had a single question in his mind about his sexuality.
Well, maybe a few questions, but those had been unimportant as long as he was committed to Jessica.
Now, all he wanted was freedom and peace, for himself and with the world. He wanted to feel and explore without everyone in the world, including the people closest to him, demanding a piece of him.
So he kissed Lee hungrily, sucking on his tongue, and rolled Lee’s nipples under his fingertips. His dick pressed so hard against his trousers that he was certain a wet spot would form soon, and he didn’t care.
“Okay, okay,” Lee panted when Drew shifted to kissing and nibbling his neck. “If you keep kissing me like that we’re going to end up in bed.”
“Good,” Drew said, shifting to lick the other side of Lee’s neck. “That’s what I want. I’m horny as hell, I want you, and I don’t want to stop or think about anything until we’ve both come all over everything.”
He thought he’d been crystal clear, but Lee wriggled out of his grasp, glasses askew, and stared at him, mouth already pink and swollen, pupils blown, and jeans tented. “Do you really mean that?” he asked like he was the King of Consent.
“I absolutely mean it,” Drew said, shaking his jacket off his arms and tossing it and the t-shirt he wore under it aside.
For a second, Lee just stared at his sculpted chest and flat stomach. Yes, Drew worked out. He had a rigorous fitness routine to maintain his form for the camera. And it was all Lee’s for the taking.
“I don’t even know where to—” Lee started.
“In the bedroom,” Drew cut him off, grabbing him by the waistband of his jeans and yanking him toward the open bedroom door.
Lee let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sigh and followed him. As soon as they were safe behind the closed bedroom door, Drew tugged Lee into his arms, kissing him with a slower passion than before.
He didn’t actually know what he was doing.
Sure, he’d kissed dozens of people before, on camera and off.
He’d kissed other guys on camera. He and Nikky were close enough friends that they’d just gone for it and actually kissed each other while filming instead of doing some staged shit.
Same with Joe. But it felt entirely different to kiss a man when he meant it, when feelings were involved and when clothes started to come off.
He was surprisingly eager to get naked with Lee and to see him naked.
Everything he’d ever told himself about being able to appreciate the beauty of the male body despite being straight was reframed in an instant.
Once Lee’s clothes and glasses were off and they tumbled onto the bed together, his thoughts about what made a man smoking hot were completely rearranged.
“You’re amazing,” he panted, kissing Lee’s neck again and making his way down to his shoulder. Those two words had to contain a hurricane’s worth of thoughts, because he couldn’t think of any other words that came close to what his brain, heart, and body were really telling him.
“You’re not too bad yourself,” Lee said, stroking his hands around Drew’s sides to his back, then down to grip his ass.
Yes. That was what he wanted. He wanted Lee to touch him everywhere.
He wanted to be felt and known and cherished.
For who he was, not for who the camera said he was.
And while he’d assumed he wouldn’t care whether a woman or a man was touching him, he very much did.
He loved the fact that Lee was a man, that his body was just as hard, though not as built, and his hunger was equally fierce.
It definitely was. Lee flipped him to his back and treated him to kisses and touches that had him rocketing to the edge far too quickly. He forced himself to pull back, focus, and not come like a teenager before he could explore everything he wanted to know.
Lee didn’t make that easy, though. Especially not when he kissed his way down Drew’s chest and belly like he was worshiping every inch of skin and tightened muscle under his lips. Drew didn’t think he’d ever been so appreciated in his life.
When Lee reached his cock, playing with his balls for a second before running his hand up his shaft and fisting it a few times, he had to call on all his powers of restraint not to lose it then and there.
As it was, he could only let Lee go down on him, using his mouth like pleasure was an art form, for a handful of seconds.
“Stop, stop,” he gasped, nudging Lee back slightly. “I’m too close, and I want to fuck you.”
The words were a surprise, even to him. The way Lee glanced up at him from between his legs with a look of combined shock and hunger nearly did Drew in.
“Are you sure?” Lee asked, pushing himself up to kneel between Drew’s spread legs. The sight just about made Drew die.
“God, yes, I’m sure,” he said.
“Really?” Lee asked again, the corners of his mouth pulling up.
“Yes, really,” Drew said, losing patience.
“Okay,” Lee said, crawling over Drew until his hands were planted by Drew’s shoulders and he could bend down to kiss him tenderly. “Let me just go prep first.”
Logic told Drew that was necessary. Desire meant it annoyed him.
And as soon as Lee jumped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom, whispers of doubt crept around the corners of Drew’s certainty.
It was laughable to think of himself as a virgin, but there was a first time for everything, and this would definitely be a first time.