Chapter 23 #3
Because, if I did, I’d have to forgive myself.
“Everything okay?”
My throat worked at the sound of his voice. Bru’s deep baritone was behind me, the proximity intimate, close.
Bow’s reaction to Bru was similar to how it’d been to me when she saw me at the bottom of the stairs. Her face went up a million degrees of red. He put color in her cheeks, which was normally something I did.
The growl was low in my chest, and I said nothing to Bru before forming a territorial hand on Bow’s hip. Again, no one was allowed to touch her, but this fucker had before.
You both did.
I refused to think about that shit, and the same went for turning around and looking at Bru. That dude constantly got me in my fucking head, and that wasn’t happening. I gripped Bow’s hand. “What do you want?”
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Bru said, and, not standing for that shit, I did turn around, which was a big fucking mistake.
Bru filled out the entirety of his tux with his Superman body, the smooth black tapered in tight at his waist. He had a hand in his pocket and his sight was very much not on me.
His eyes narrowed at Bow. “Are you all right?”
I didn’t like the way he was looking at her, like he was her protector.
I also didn’t like the way I was looking at him.
I was noticing shit like how he may have looked like Superman in his tux but gave off just as much farm-boy energy as Clark Kent.
He looked like him too, his dark hair slightly messy, tousled.
Like he’d just been through a round in the sheets, and I didn’t like that.
I didn’t want him having a date. I didn’t want anyone having their hands on him.
Either of them.
I had territorial feelings about both of them, and I couldn’t have any of that shit. It was too fucked up. I was too fucked up.
“I’m fine,” Bow said, and she let go of me before I could let go of her. I felt the draft between us immediately. She pushed back her wavy hair. It was still flawless even after all the dancing. She pointed toward the exit. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom. Freshen up a little.”
I noticed how I never answered her question about forgiving her, but she didn’t wait for me to give it. She just left, and the urge to follow her was instant.
Don’t.
I didn’t in the end, but that didn’t stop Bru. Of course, him and his Superman hero shit went after her.
“I’ll go with you. Well, escort you,” Bru said. He had her hand, and I heard him because we were in between songs. I also heard what she said to him in response.
“I’m okay. Enjoy the gala,” Bow said, and Bru truly looked conflicted as he stared at her gloved hand.
My instinct was to go push them apart. That shit was incredibly bold in front of all our friends and family, in front of Thatcher, but thoughts drifted as I watched Bru touch Bow.
Bru made me touch her at Legacy House, and it hadn’t been so bad when we both were.
I’d come so hard between them both. The thoughts made me ill, but not because I didn’t like what happened that night, and that was so fucked up.
When Bru let go of Bow, I could breathe again. It was like I’d been holding my breath, just like I had earlier that night when shit went down between all three of us. Bru and I had been showing Squeak how to dance, and it hadn’t been a bad thing, our hands on her, his hands on her.
I put away the messed-up thoughts and stared at Bru and Bow longer than I should have. Standing there, Bru watched her cut through the crowd and ultimately through the door. There was so much longing in his eyes.
I needed to find Thatcher. Bru and I both had to stop this shit. It was only physical, and if I told myself that enough, I’d start to believe it. I would believe it. I had no fucking choice.
I turned away as the music started again. I needed to find Thatcher and tell him the truth about everything, but someone got my arm from behind before I could move.
“Ambrose,” Bru said, and, though I could have fought when he brought me toward him, I didn’t. I let him grip my arm and turn me around.
Bru pulled me into a dance.
I straightened immediately, my body stiff, tight. Bru attempted to get me against him. He had one hand at my waist and the other in mine, and when I tried to let go, he shook me.
“Stop, Ambrose,” he said, getting in my head again. He focused his dark eyes on me, and I was pinned in place. He was never so direct with me, commanding. His mouth parted. “Dance with me.”
I didn’t want to. I couldn’t…
But I was.
For some reason, I allowed him to bring me closer to him by the waist. He swayed, and I was letting him lead.
Why?
I found myself moving too, for a second.
Until I realized we weren’t the only two on the dance floor.
Back in my head again, I looked around. I found eyes on us, but they were only from the people that mattered.
I caught my mom and dad looking at Bru and me as well as Bru’s parents, Ramses and Brielle.
I saw our friends looking at us too.
Dorian and Ares were still on the dance floor with their girls.
They were slow dancing just like Bru and me.
The guys whispered something to the girls, and soon, Sloane and Fawn were looking at Bru and me too.
Right away, Fawn smiled, and Sloane, though she blinked, smiled too.
It was slow, like she just realized something.
Dorian and Ares did the same. Their smiles slow as well, they exchanged a glance with each other. Like they were both let in on some secret that they didn’t know the answer to until this very moment.
My mouth parted after their focus went back to their girls.
I noticed Thatcher after that. He was no longer at the bar, but he was still on his phone.
Well, kinda. The phone was kind of hovering away from his face as he stared at Bru and me.
He did a little maneuver where his dark eyebrows flicked up, but then, he was raising his drink to me.
He also had that same clarity our friends had on their faces before smiling wide and going back to his call.
The parents had a similar reaction with their smiles. It was like everyone knew something I didn’t.
“I see you’re looking for a reason, Ambrose, but you’re not going to find one,” Bru said, pulling my attention back to him, and he smelled so fucking good, looked good. He frowned. “You’re not going to find one with our family and friends. A reason to deny this…”
He moved just briefly, and my cock twitched when his hand dug into my back. He got my jacket in a tight fist before he moved his breath to my ear.
“So why are you denying this? Me,” he growled, before his lips did brush my ear. His nose brushed too. “Why are you denying Bow and me?”
My eyes flashed open. It was like I repelled from him, his words. I tried to work myself away, but his grip was too strong. I gripped his shirt. “Don’t you dare. You fuck—”
“I love her too,” he said, the words stopping me, sobering me. He placed a hand on my chest. “I. Love. Her. Too.”
He tapped my chest with every word, and my heart slammed against my ribs just the same. He didn’t just say he loved her. He insinuated we loved her.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her,” Bru said, scanning my eyes, and he had to feel my heart. How much it raced. His throat worked. “You look at her like she’s everything. You look how I feel.”
How he feels.
“I know you, Ambrose.” He had a hand behind my neck now, and I forgot about everyone who was probably looking at us right now. I needed to pull away. I… He wet his lips. “You’re fighting her like you’re fighting me.”
My friend did know me, but he didn’t know shit about this. It wasn’t possible for me to love him like that, and I especially couldn’t love her like that. One couldn’t give love when there was so much hate in their heart, hate for themselves…
I did hate myself. In fact, I fucking loathed myself, and it was so easy to pretend to be the opposite. When a guy was the life of the party, no one questioned it.
I supposed that was the point.
Bru started to get even closer, like he was about to do something on this dance floor, and rather than deal with it, I pulled his fingers off my neck.
He shook his head. “Ambrose…”
I left him standing there when I did what I did best. I ran, and couldn’t get away from him fast enough.
If only I could escape myself.