Chapter 29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
Wells
Thatcher was sitting on the couch when I came downstairs, and I was surprised. I thought I’d have to go after him.
I was aware what I was about to walk into. My best friend was furious on the couch, rubbing his hands.
Thatcher lifted his head. “Pop said the alarm had gone off at the cabin,” he said, his eyes narrowed. He faced me. “I came out to check things out.”
Well, that made sense now, why he was here.
Damn.
Thatcher’s jaw moved, his spiked earrings dangling and his dark hair unruly. A lot of fucked-up shit had just happened upstairs. It wasn’t the first time my friend and I had gotten into a fight but never over something like this.
Thatcher’s eyes heated. “I hoped it was a dumbass animal or something. Guess I wasn’t far off.”
He could have said worse, and I would have deserved it.
I came around the couch. I rushed, so I only had my pants, shoes, and a jacket on. I was very much not wearing a shirt, and Thatcher noticed that right away.
It made him wince.
He said nothing, and, not testing things, I took the chair across from him. I could have said something first, come right in on things, but I didn’t. I wanted to wait. I needed to wait for my friend.
There was a reason why he stayed.
I knew Thatcher Reed. Normally, he probably would have left. All of us guys were rageful fucks. We reacted, so the fact Thatcher was still here meant something. He could have left, but he stayed, waited.
I waited too, no matter how nervous the silence made me. I knew exactly what would happen the moment I let go in regards to his sister. Actions had consequences.
Thatcher stared at the area rug. “How long’s this been going on?”
“Not long,” I said, refusing to make him wait. Since he was ready, I spoke, and was grateful to break the silence. I gripped my hands. “I tried to fight it, Thatch.”
I did for so fucking long, and my head lifted when Thatcher’s did.
We weren’t alone.
“Both of us did,” Bru said. He was on the stairs but came down into the light.
I didn’t know what time it was, but it was dark through the windows.
There was barely any light in the room, just the lights from the end tables, but there was enough for me to see Bru had gotten on at least a shirt with his jeans, his feet bare and hair mussed.
Facing away, I sighed. “I told you I’d handle this.”
“You shouldn’t have to. Not alone,” Bru said, and the next thing I knew, he was coming over to me.
He sat down on the arm of the chair, smelling distinctly like Bru, and when he grabbed my hand, something stirred inside me.
I looked at him, seeing so much love there in his dark eyes.
I tried to deny that too, but he didn’t let me.
Neither of them had. Rainbow Reed had broken me down for years before Bru came in and swept me over the edge. I fully believe he was the reason I finally allowed myself to go there. To have her and him.
To be… happy.
“This is serious,” Thatcher said, and Bru and I cut away from each other. We didn’t let go, but we did face Thatcher. Thatcher’s head tilted. “Hindsight really is crazy. It really does make sense with you guys.” He rubbed his hands. “I just didn’t know my sister was a part of it.”
I didn’t even know his sister was a part of it. Bow Reed snuck up on me and made me admit something to myself. Both Bru and her had.
“I really tried to fight it, Thatch. With Bru and especially with Bow,” I said, and Thatcher glanced away. I released a breath. “I did, Thatcher. I did for so fucking long. You’re my brother, man, and you know I’d never want to hurt you. Not on purpose, I…”
I stopped. I closed my fucking mouth, but not because I had to.
It was because I wanted to.
I wanted this, a relationship with Bru and his sister, and I was tired of the shame surrounding it. The fear and self-loathing I had…
“Forgive yourself.”
Bow’s beautiful voice was in my head, her kind voice. She really was so much better than me, and even though I may not deserve her or Bruno’s love, I needed it. I craved it. It healed me and made me better, stronger.
I bet Bru had to fight through his teeth to keep Bow from coming down here.
She was a spitfire, and I would never forget what she just did upstairs.
She stood in front of Bru and me, like she could actually keep her brother away from us, but she was going to try, and that was why I loved her. She was selfless, so good.
She was perfect.
“You know what? I’m not fucking sorry,” I said, and I stood. I was pumped full of adrenaline. I pointed upstairs. “I love your sister, man. I do, and I think I have for a really long fucking time.”
I’d been in love with Bow Reed before I knew what love was. It hit me like a bus, and that was why I’d been watching her that day at the pool.
I always had.
That love caused me to make mistakes, but that wasn’t her fault. What happened to that girl at the pool had been an accident. It was.
“Forgive yourself.”
Her love did make me stronger. It made me see things differently, and now, I was telling my best friend the truth. He was a best friend I did love like a brother, and, though I needed him in my life, I needed her too.
“So I can’t be sorry about that,” I said, and felt Bru squeeze my hand.
He was still sitting on the arm of the chair, and I glanced down only to see him smile at me.
He was giving me support right now, and I squeezed his hand right back.
I faced Thatcher. “Now, if you want to kick my ass because of that, I’d understand.
But I’m not going to deny how I feel. It will kill me to deny it. It has been. For years.”
I’d been dying a slow death since I pushed Bow out of my life. It’d been a life of fuck buddies and one-night stands, but, no matter how much I fucked my way through campus (and high school), I felt nothing. I felt hollow with every conquest.
Because they weren’t her.
I hadn’t even touched Bow and had more love for her than I’d felt for anyone I fucked in the past. That physical love had been temporary, a high.
It was an itch I couldn’t scratch no matter how many people I had in the sheets.
It wasn’t until Bru came along that I started to feel something again.
Being with him reminded me of what truly being with someone you cared about could feel like.
I got drunk off the feeling, and when we were finally with Bow, everything felt complete.
It was like she was the missing piece in my life.
She was the missing piece.
Bru and I had fucked so many people together, as well as each other, but it wasn’t the same without Bow. We loved her.
I may not be worthy of either one of them, but I was going to have them. That may have made me a selfish prick, but I didn’t care.
Beside me, Bru stood. He continued to hold my hand, stand with me in front of our best friend. Thatcher didn’t say anything, just watching us.
“I just might kick your ass,” he said, and my stomach dropped. I was prepared for this, to lose him as my buddy, my brother but… His lips went tight. “Because it honestly took you a hell of a long time to fucking admit it.”
My mouth parted, and Bru’s eyebrows jumped. We both looked at each other before Thatcher rose from the couch.
“I had a feeling you were into my sister, Wells,” he said, and I blinked. Thatcher’s head tilted. “You’re my brother, man. I’ve known you for a long time.”
Yeah, but how did he know when I didn’t even know? I denied that shit for years. I rubbed my neck. “How did you know?”
Thatcher shrugged. “I mean, I wasn’t certain, but there were signs. You’ve always looked out for her and you guys were hella close before, well… everything that summer.”
That summer.
A lot of stuff changed. My whole entire fucking life. I made a ton of mistakes, so many.
Thatcher pocketed his hands. “I guess I kind of always knew, but it was easier for me to deny it.” His lips went tight. “She’s my sister, man.”
She was, which made me feel like shit. I grabbed my arms. “I can’t say I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to,” he said, and shock flashed across Bru’s face again. It was the same shock I felt. Thatcher pushed back his hair. “Honestly, if I admit it to myself, I know there’s no one better for her,” he said, then tipped his chin at Bru. “Both of you.”
Both of us.
Thatcher raised his hands. “Don’t get me wrong. This shit is still fucking weird and seeing y’all like that with her I fucking can’t, which was why I reacted the way I did initially. It was shocking to say the fucking least, bro.”
I could imagine, and if things were the other way around, I was sure I’d act that way too.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d have been able to stop myself.
I supposed that was what made my brother better than myself.
His love for his girlfriend also changed him.
He was a different person now than he’d been even a year ago.
Thatcher shook his head. “But you guys are all adults, and, like I said, I know there’s no one better for my sister. You guys will look out for her. Protect her.”
I didn’t know what to say, and, when I didn’t, Bru stepped forward.
“You mean you’re okay with this?” Bru asked, and Thatcher lifted his hands again.
“‘Okay’ is a hella strong word. I accept your relationship, yes, and being in one myself now, I know how that shit can take a hold of you.” He smiled a little. “Being with Aspen put a chokehold over me, bro. I can imagine it was the same for you guys. Especially you, Wells.”
I glanced up.
He nodded. “Bow must have broken you down something crazy, because you’d jump in front of a bus before you’d let shit go bad between you and me.”
I would. I nodded too. “For that, I am sorry. I’d never want to hurt you.”
“I know that, and I’m sorry too. For what I said upstairs? I didn’t mean that. Any of it,” he said. He looked at Bru. “And I’m sorry to you too. Things just got crazy in the moment.”
“I get it,” Bru said, and we all just stood there for a moment. I didn’t think any of us knew what to say.
It turned out we didn’t need to speak.
Thatcher’s hand coming out did all the talking. He was waiting for mine, and when I shook, Thatcher turned it into a hug. He hugged me, and there was so much relief there. I hadn’t lost him.
“Just be good to her or I will kick your ass, Wells,” Thatcher said, squeezing me hard. “No fucks given.”
I laughed, hugging him back. Thatcher Reed’s hugs were no joke. He was a big fucking dude and put a lot into it.
I did too.
“You know I will,” I said, and he nodded at me when he let go. He reached for Bru too, and Bru received the hug/handshake just as effortlessly.
“She’ll always be safe with me. With both of us. I promise,” Bru said, and Thatcher didn’t let go of him right away.
“I know.” Eventually, Thatcher did let go. He put a hand on my shoulder, then Bru’s. “You guys are good with me. It’s my dad you’re going to have to worry about, so you probably should be thinking about what you’re going to say to him about all this.”
Holy fuck, I didn’t even think about that.
Thatcher laughed. “Anyway, send my sister down. I want to apologize to her for going all caveman.”
Thatcher may have gone caveman, but his dad would go Godzilla on my ass. I couldn’t say it wouldn’t be worth it though. I’d die a thousand deaths before I ever let Rainbow Reed go again. I wasn’t letting go again.
Not this time.