23. Annie
Annie
Placing my hand in Zayn’s feels too right.
I shouldn’t feel butterflies in my stomach, or weak in the knees, or hot in my cheeks.
It’s not supposed to be like this. I can’t like him, not after everything.
I know he’s not his brother, but I still can’t let someone in.
Not again. Not when my career is finally starting.
And I worry that if I were to succumb to the way I feel for him that my career would be put on the back burner and I wouldn’t feel the need to make it a priority.
I need to make sure I feel stable and secure, even if I bring someone into my life.
I let go of Zayn’s hand when a knocking comes from the front door.
“I’ll get it,” Zayn mumbles as he walks over to let Kiley in.
The door is barely open two inches when she comes barreling in, coming straight for me.
“Annie, I’m so glad to see you. Zayn wouldn’t let me come over.” Kiley tosses a glare over her shoulder before enveloping me in a hug.
“I never said that,” Zayn quips, walking to sit on the couch.
Kiley moves to sit next to him, giving him a side hug as a way of forgiveness. “I know, I know, you’re just busy,” Kiley says.
I grab the cookies from the kitchen and set them on the coffee table before moving to sit in a chair next to the couch.
“Oh, my gosh. Annie, sit here.” Kiley quickly gets up from her spot and points to it, leaving Zayn to just stare at me with raised eyebrows that say “ I told you so. ”
Right, I have to play the doting girlfriend here, as Kiley doesn’t know this is fake. Perfect.
“Thanks Ki,” I say, plopping next to Zayn. A little too close. Our legs, hips, and shoulders are brushing, but it’d be too obvious if I moved away, so I stay.
Zayn’s hand finds mine, intertwining our fingers. If I think about it too much, I’ll start overthinking, which is not good. Luckily, Kiley came prepared to chat our ears off.
“So, I went down to that ice cream shop that you two always go to,” Kiley says, snatching a cookie off the tray and taking a bite.
“Sunshine Scoops?” I take a sip of my tea, trying to keep my tone intrigued.
“Yeah, they say it’s where you two fell in love.”
My tea leaves my mouth before I’m able to process what I’m doing. I immediately start coughing, wondering why the universe had me take a drink at the worst time.
“You okay?” Zayn whispers in my ear, and it does not help one bit, the warmth of his breath leaving a tickle along my ear.
I peer at him for a moment and nod before looking back to Kiley, wondering if he’s going to say anything. He doesn’t. Maybe he’s processing the information just like I am.
“Anyway, how is it being Zayn’s girlfriend and publicist?” Kiley asks.
“Sometimes I forget, if I’m being honest.” I chuckle. “The only time I’m his publicist is when I need to schedule events for him or make sure certain reporters will be around. And so far, it’s actually helped that Zayn is with me. The media seems to like that we are together.”
“I like that we’re together too,” Zayn says. He leans into me and presses a kiss to my forehead.
“I still can’t get over the fact that you two are together. Does Dan know?”
Where Zayn appears calm and collected, I feel like a stiff board. His hand tightens on mine and helps bring me back to this moment.
“Unless he lives under a rock, then I’m sure he knows. But no, I haven’t personally told him.”
“Z, you need to tell him.”
“We never talk, Kiley.” Zayn’s hand tenses, and I move my other hand to rest on top, rubbing small circles to smooth his anger. Slowly, his grip loosens.
Kiley doesn’t push the issue any further, thankfully.
“Well, Annie, what have you been up to since I saw you last?” Kiley asks.
“Working, and more work,” I say with a laugh. “It’s pretty much consumed me.”
“Well it seems to have landed you in a good spot, I’d say. You must be good at what you do!”
She doesn’t know how good it feels to hear that.
I’m so used to proving myself to others, to show that I can do the work, and Kiley simply complimenting me based on who my current client is speaks for itself.
Yes, it’s her brother, but Zayn is also a B-list actor.
When he gets this trilogy, it’ll put him in A-list territory.
He’s the type of client that should require someone with years of experience to run his PR strategy, not someone like me, fresh out of their internship.
“Thanks, Kiley. I think I landed in a good spot too.” I twist my head to look at Zayn, who’s already looking at me, of course, and I smile. I’m thankful for him, truly. He’s not only helping heal my past wounds and showing me that I’m good at what I do, but he’s also there for me.
“And how are things for you?” I look back at Kiley.
“Oh, I was telling Zayn the other week that my boss is the literal worst, but it’s okay. I’m a marketing manager, so I spend a lot of my time with clients and such. So likely similar to you.”
“I’m here if you ever need to rant about something.” I smile warmly, and I know Zayn is staring at me without having to look at him. Kiley means the world to him, so I know me offering that means something to him.
After an hour, Zayn asks for the tenth time if she’s ready for the car. Okay, maybe not the tenth time, but after all the questions, I think he’s ready for her to leave.
“Okay, okay, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” Kiley says while gathering her things. I made sure to put a few cookies in a bag for her to take on the road.
When she pulls me into a hug she whispers, “I know my other brother didn’t deserve you, but Zayn does. And you make him happy. Thank you.” She doesn’t give me time to respond, simply hugs Zayn and leaves.
I stand there, facing the door, shocked. Trying to process what she said, what she thinks is going on. Kiley is already getting attached to this relationship, and it’s not even real.
“Annie?” Zayn’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah?” I look at him, knowing that my eyes aren’t as bright and my mouth forms a thin line.
“What did she say to you?”
“Oh, it was nothing.”
“You look like someone delivered bad news to you. It couldn’t have been nothing. Tell me.”
“What if I say no?”
“Then I’ll ask again later.” Zayn is nothing if not persistent.
I sulk over to the couch, letting out an exasperated sigh as I sit down. Zayn follows, sitting next to me, grabbing my hand.
My gaze remains on my lap as I mutter, “She said your brother didn’t deserve me, but you do.”
For a millisecond his hand tenses, tightening around mine, before he releases the pressure.
“I don’t deserve you either.” He doesn’t say he doesn’t want me, or that she’s right, but he says this as if we are together, a real couple in love.
“You deserve more than your dick of a brother does.” I grimace, realizing how that sounded. “Sorry.”
Zayn brings a finger under my chin, tugging my face toward him, begging me to meet his stare. “Don’t ever apologize for him.”
I try to tug out of his grasp, but instead his fingers hold me tighter, not letting my head detract from his grip.
“I mean it, Princess. Nod if you understand.”
I do as he asks, and he lets go immediately. He takes his free hand and rakes it through his hair, throwing his body back. His other hand still caresses mine.
“He cheated on me for most of the last year of our relationship,” I start, knowing there will never be a good time to tell him about Dan.
“And we were both so busy with work that I never noticed. When I came home early from an event to surprise him, I found him with someone else. And he didn’t even apologize or feel sad for what happened.
He just told me it was about time I found out.
Then he proceeded to tell me he didn’t believe in me; he told me that he couldn’t see himself supporting me if I continued on this path.
That if I wanted him to choose me, I would change careers.
Do something more safe, less me. He said I was too much, that I let things get to me too easily, always too emotional. ”
“You’re not too much. And fuck him for cheating on you, you deserve one hundred percent of a man’s attention. You deserve someone that you can trust.”
The sound that comes out of my mouth is barely a laugh, humorless. “You hardly know me and you think that?”
“Look at me.”
Something about Zayn’s commanding tone always gets me to do what he says.
“He was one person and hardly in a place to say anything to you considering how much of a fuckup he is. You are doing the damn thing, making a way for yourself in your career. You should be so fucking proud of yourself because I know I am. I may have lost some time with you, but I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. ”
It’s too much, too soon. Tears streak my face before I realize what’s happening. Zayn lets go of my hand and brings both of his to cup my cheeks.
“You are incredible, Annie. Don’t let anyone cloud your sunshine.”
The moment his lips touch mine, my shoulders relax, my breathing lightens, and I savor the time we have left together. Our perfect little bubble.
“He doesn’t deserve your tears, your sympathy, your thoughts... fuck,” Zayn mumbles against my lips. “You’re mine, and you deserve to be treated like the fucking princess you are.”
“Zayn,” I say, sighing into his grasp. He tugs me closer and I oblige, settling myself over his lap, doing everything I can to be closer to him. “If I’m yours, truly yours, then you’re mine.”
My arms rest on his shoulders, and I pull him closer, trying to show him how much I need him right now. Zayn's tongue traces the seam of my lips, tantalizing me. Again, I let him in, my head tilting to welcome his kiss, deepening the connection between us.
A moan escapes his lips as his hands caress my back, switching between tracing light circles and grasping me with everything he has. “Need. More,” he growls, his voice reverberating through me.