Chapter Six
Crispin
“Can I look yet, Daddy?”
My sweet boy had tried, and failed, numerous times since we painted his room to get back inside there. Thankfully, I’d had the forethought to hide the key one I’d locked it.
“Don’t you want to be surprised when Daddy has the room all done for you?”
He huffed. “It’s taking forever.”
“My sweet, drama queen. These things take time. Daddy had to order special stuff for it and the vendors required a few weeks to make them just for you.”
“’Kay, Daddy.”
But I wasn’t born yesterday and knew there was no way he’d let it go. Hopefully I didn’t have a professional lock picker in the house.
“I’ve got an idea. Daddy has to go on a work trip to Toronto for a couple of days for a conference.
Since your passport hasn’t arrived yet, why don’t we pack your bag and you can hang out with Jobe and Daddy Stanley while I’m gone.
” That would give my carpenter time to finish up the room too, without prying hands and eyes around.
“Squee! That will be so much fun. We can have a tea party and a runway show for the new apparel line he’s been working on.”
Perfect, since I’d already commissioned Jobe to make a line of little’s wear with my Bunny in mind. Beck would have no idea that he was modeling his own clothes.
How was it that this was so much fun and these gifts weren’t even for me?
Ah, the life of a daddy in love.
I hated not having the ability to take Beck on every trip with me, but there were times such as this where it wasn’t feasible. He’d never flown before and was understandably nervous, but given the rapid rate my business was growing there would be many trips in his future for sure.
Over the years, what I’d once started as a handyman working his way through college flourished when some of the companies I’d worked for were closing shop.
Whether due to retirement or the economy, I was the one they’d reach out to and strike a deal with to take over their clients.
With a handful I merely bought their client list and did my best to keep those they employed with jobs, but unfortunately, that wasn’t always feasible.
Now, Knight did business in the greater southwest and I’d been contacted by a construction company in Toronto about a potential merger.
Since I was already headed that way for a conference, we set up a face-to-face meeting while I was in town.
If we were able to strike a deal, I’d have staff that were Canadian citizens, which would allow us to contract jobs across Canada.
I really hoped this worked out, though I’d need to add headcount to my managerial staff. Now that I had a partner in life, I wasn’t about to let my workaholic tendencies get in the way of our forever.
Nothing was worth losing Beck over.
“Daddy, will you be back for Easter?”
Boy, if that didn’t stop me mid-step. I immediately checked the calendar on my phone, Easter was more important to my sweet Bunny than his birthday was, though I had plans for both.
“Of course, sweetheart. Why?”
“I dunno,” he shrugged. “I have fun with Jobe and Daddy Stanley but that just feels like a special day for me to spend with my Daddy.”
“Sweetheart,” I drew him in for a big hug.
“I couldn’t agree more and I look forward to it.
” I’m guessing he’d never properly celebrated the day with an egg hunt and a basket of goodies.
We’ll color eggs the night before and I’ll hide them in the yard before he wakes.
Can’t sleep too late, even in April, Vegas tends to be too warm for eggs to be left outside.
By noon the smell would be horrendous. I shivered at the thought.
Those big blue eyes stared up at me, then closed as I pressed my lips to his. Slowly his eyes fluttered open, mirroring the love I felt for him. Never in my life had I been in love before. Lust, possibly, but that all-encompassing, you feel it deep in your bone’s kind of love, nope.
Until now.
“My sweet boy, you make it so easy to love you.”
Beck’s eyes filled with tears. “That’s the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me.”
I wanted to take all the pain he ever felt away and throw it back at those who’d hurt him. But as long as there was breath left in my body no one would ever hurt Beck again. I’d spend every waking moment ensuring he knew how much he was loved and how lucky I was to have him in my life.
“My love, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I mean every word I’ve said.” Had I not said them enough?
“Stop,” he grinned and wiped his eyes. “You’re making me leak.”
“Ha-ha. Bunny you are adorable.”
“More like adorkable. At least that’s what Jobe calls it, then he laughs and hugs me.”
“He adores you, Bunny. We all do.”
“I found my family,” Beck said as he snuggled into me. “I’m finally home.”
Ask me when the last time I cried was and I couldn’t tell you. But there we stood, holding each other in the hallway of our house crying. I cried for those who never loved my boy, I cried for the blood related family he lost, I cried for all the years he spent alone.
I cried because my world was finally complete now that Beck was in it.
“Happy tears make all the bad ones go away, Daddy. I love you.”
“Beck, I love you more than words can say, and I can promise that I’ll love you forever.” I wasn’t one to make promises for fear of breaking them, but this one was easy to keep.
“I can’t ask for more than that.” He hopped up and kissed me, nearly knocking me out in the process. “Oopsy, sorry, Daddy.”
“One thing neither of us should ever have to apologize for is loving each other. How about when Daddy gets back, we take a road trip out to Cali so you can meet my family?”
You could hear the brakes in his head skid to a halt.
“Daddy?” the quizzical look he gave me was hilarious. “Isn’t that like a big-time step?”
“It is. Are you not ready for that?” Had I misread his feelings? Maybe ordering his engagement ring was a bit premature.
“Ooohhh, I’ve never been on a road trip. Do we get lots of munchies and sing songs and stuff?”
I loved his enthusiasm. “We absolutely can but it’s only about a four drive.” Though I knew I’d make the most out of his first trip, he was far too excited for me to pass up the opportunity.
“Yay! But what if they don’t like me?” That quivering lip would be the death of me.
“Sweetheart, you’ve already spoken with them and they adore you.”
Beck shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s the in-person meetings when people reject you.”
Fuck. Me.
“Come, let’s sit and talk.”
I took his hand and led him over to the sofa, tugging him onto my lap. Beck tucked his against my shoulder and nuzzled my neck.
“My love, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to about your past. But some of your comments lead me to believe you need an ear to bend.
Had someone come to adopt you only to turn around and leave?
” My heart raced as he took his time finding the right words.
Either that or he sought the courage to admit it aloud.
“Yes, more than once. They wanted babies and toddlers. I don’t understand how no one adopted me when I was one.
I went straight from being born into the system to staying there until I aged out.
” His tears dampened my shirt collar and I squeezed him tighter.
“Maybe I had too much energy for them? I know I’m cute enough. I’m adorable, dang it!”
His proclamation nearly had me giggling, but I reined it in.
This was a very serious moment. “You, my sweet Bunny, are beyond adorable. I’m sorry they made you feel like you weren’t worth keeping, because to me you’re worth all the gold in the world.
Your smiles brighten my days. Your giggles fill me with happiness like I’ve never known before.
When you walk into the room my universe is immediately righted. ”
There was no way to fix his past or I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Sob. “I’m just afraid you’re gonna leave me too.”
Now we got to the root of the issue and the glimpse of the abandonment issues I’d seen. Should I take the big-time step, as Beck called it, by asking for his hand now, or at my parents’ house? My mother would be over the moon to witness it firsthand.
“Beck,” I tilted his chin up. “You are Daddy’s forever and I’ll never let you go.”
My normally energetic, happy bunny who hopped around the house non-stop slowly dozed off in my arms as his crying subsided.
Had he needed to open up to someone? I’d failed as a daddy if so.
I’d purposely avoided these conversations, waiting for him to broach the subject first. Apparently, that was a big daddy fail on my end.
Whether exhausted from the relief of letting this out, or the emotional aspect, possibly both, my sweet Bunny lazily napped in my arms.
How could humans be so cruel? What happened to his family?
Better question was what happened in the foster homes he bounced around in.
Stricter measures and visits need to be implemented within the system to better protect the children.
I understand when behaviors aren’t a fit in certain homes, but I couldn’t see my Bunny being an issue anywhere.
Granted, I didn’t know him back then, but his calm demeanor told me I had a pretty good grasp on how he had acted and saw nothing wrong with it.
Born into the system as he’d said, it was all he knew, so any mistreatment he received happened within those very homes. Overworked case workers in dire need of help only exacerbate the challenges for all parties involved.
What would it take to protect the kids and put a better system of checks and balances into place and additional workers in the field?
The wheels were in motion and while tackling something of that nature was monumental and outside my area of expertise, helping on another level I could do.
My company was big on giving back to the community and while most of our focus was on our LGBTQIA+ family, I felt strongly that adding the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America to our list of paid volunteering programs was a great start.
Carefully, so as to not wake my sleeping angel, I slid my phone from my pocket and fired off an email to my HR manager, Joyce.
To: Joyce Davis
From: Crispin Knight
RE: Approved Paid Volunteer Activities
Joyce,
I hope your day is going well.
First, I wish for us to look into adding the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America to our list of approved paid volunteer activities and corporate backed donations.
Secondly, volunteering with the foster care system.
The internet search I just conducted shows that there are volunteer options through most states’ programs. This has become a passion project for me and one that’s very near and dear to my heart.
Could you look into this as well and do whatever it takes to sign our company up for any opportunities, whether financial or otherwise, to help?
I look forward to meeting with you about these projects.
Thanks,
Crispin
Not two minutes after I hit send that her reply come through.
From: Joyce Davis
To: Crispin Knight
Re: Have I ever told you you’re my favorite boss?
Crispin,
I’m literally in tears as I sit here re-reading this. As you know, both my sons are adopted, and it was through the foster care system that we found them. They are blood related siblings and keeping them together was important to my husband and me.
How I’d not thought of partnering with both these programs honestly makes me want to stick myself in the corner for a time out. I will get to work on this immediately and look forward to working with them.
Choosing to accept the offer a million years ago to join Knight was one of the best decisions I’d ever made. That along with adopting Jeremiah and Jacob.
Sincerely,
Joyce
Well, her tears triggered mine and while I wasn’t in a position to foster, I did have the means to help in other ways. Was this an end all to fix the issues within the system? No, it wasn’t, but it was a way to give back and hopefully mentor and nurture adolescents in need.