Chapter Five
Jamie
Jamie had been alone in the cabin for maybe an hour, but it felt longer. The quiet was nice, mostly peaceful even, but his thoughts weren’t. He got up from the bed, padding across the wooden floor in his socks, and crouched beside Spencer’s suitcase. He hesitated for a second, then unzipped it.
Inside were exactly what he expected: jeans, flannel shirts, a couple of plain tees.
Cowboy-core, through and through. But tucked into one of the side pockets was a photo—Spencer with an older man, both smiling like they’d just finished building a fence or something.
The man had the same eyes, the same jawline. Maybe his dad?
Jamie stared at it for a moment, then zipped the suitcase shut. He didn’t want to snoop, not really. He just wanted to know who Spencer was. What kind of man took in a stranger and made him feel safe without asking for anything in return?
He heard the crunch of tires on snow and scrambled back to the bed, heart thudding. Spencer was back. Jamie pulled the comforter up and tried to look like he hadn’t moved.
The door opened with a gust of cold air, and Spencer stepped in, cheeks pink from the chill, arms full of bags. He kicked the door shut behind him and grinned when he saw Jamie awake.
“Got you a few things,” he said, walking over. “Figured you might want your own stuff.”
Jamie sat up. “You didn’t have to…”
Spencer pulled out a sweater, socks, a toothbrush, and then grinning, held up a sucker. “Cherry. Thought you could use something sweet.”
Jamie took it, smiling despite being himself. “Thanks.”
“And,” Spencer added, reaching into the second bag, “this guy.” He pulled out a small stuffed puppy, soft and brown with a little red scarf around its neck.
Jamie stared at it, throat tightening. “You bought me a stuffie?”
Spencer shrugged, suddenly sheepish. “I dunno. You looked like you could use something to hold on to.”
Jamie took it gently, pressing it to his chest. “Really? Aren’t you a perfect daddy?”
“Maybe,” Spencer said, kicking off his boots. “But you’re smiling, so I’ll take the win.”
Jamie was shy in admitting all his little qualities he carried. Spencer didn’t flinch one bit at his needs. He’d make a great loving daddy. If Jamie were so lucky as to find someone just like Spencer, or maybe he might look his way, but no one wanted a pack of trouble, as Daddy Tom would say.
Spencer undressed again, then slid into bed beside Jamie, not too close, just enough to share the warmth. When Jamie lay back, the puppy tucked under his arm, sucker still in hand, Spencer handed him a blue binky.
“Wow! Thank you. Blue is my favorite color. Now, I can sleep.” Jamie hugged him and kissed his cheek.
“Tell me how you feel inside?”
“I still feel like crap,” Jamie admitted. “About Daddy Tom. About everything.”
Spencer turned his head toward him. “I get it. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.”
Jamie nodded, eyes on the ceiling. “I don’t know why I feel safe with you. I barely know you.”
Spencer was quiet for a moment. “Maybe it’s not about knowing. Maybe it’s just about feeling seen.”
Jamie glanced at him. “Do you see me?”
Spencer met his eyes. “Yeah. I do.” He leaned over and kissed Jamie on the top of his head.
After Jamie finished his sucker, he unwrapped his binky and put it in his mouth.
“Can I ask you something personal about Tom?”
Jamie nodded, but the weight of it sat heavy in his chest.
Now, lying in Spencer’s bed with a stuffed puppy tucked under his arm and Spencer beside him, the lie felt like a splinter under his skin.
Spencer shifted, turning toward him. “You said you were going to the Find a Daddy Christmas mixer,” he whispered. “But why would you go with Tom? It’s a mixer to meet a new daddy.”
Jamie froze. His heart thudded. He could feel Spencer watching him, waiting.
Not judging—just curious. But Jamie knew he’d been caught.
He’d lied. Again. Not because he wanted to, but because the truth felt too raw, too pathetic.
When Spencer had asked about the Christmas party earlier, Jamie had said he was going.
Like it was part of the plan. Like he and Tom had come up here for that reason.
But they hadn’t. Tom had promised him a quiet week in Big Bear and a party to meet his friends.
Just the two of them. Snow, a cabin, maybe a fire if Tom could figure out how to light one.
Jamie had imagined cocoa and cuddling and waking up to frost on the windows.
He’d believed it. Believed Daddy Tom meant it.
Maybe he knew about the party, wanted to find a new boy. Wasn’t there a better way to break up?
Jamie swallowed hard. “We weren’t,” he mumbled. “Going to that party, I mean. He said, he’d take me to a party to meet his friends.”
Spencer said nothing, just let him talk.
“Daddy Tom told me he rented a cabin for the week. Said it’d be our first real Christmas together. No distractions. Just us.” Jamie’s voice cracked a little, but he kept going. “I didn’t even know there was a party until you mentioned it.”
Spencer’s brow furrowed. “Why’d you say you were going?”
Jamie sighed, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I didn’t want you to think I was some idiot who got dumped in the snow. I thought if I said I was here for the party, it’d sound less… sad.”
Spencer was quiet for a minute. Then he reached out, brushing Jamie’s arm with the back of his hand. “You’re not an idiot.”
Jamie’s throat constricted as he blinked, trying to hold back tears. “I just didn’t want to look like a loser.”
“You don’t,” Spencer said. “You look like someone who trusted the wrong person. That’s not the same thing.”
Jamie turned his head, meeting Spencer’s eyes. There was no pity there. Just warmth. Understanding. “I’m sorry I lied about being jumped too.”
Spencer nodded. “I’m glad you felt safe to tell me.”
Something loosened in Jamie’s chest. He hadn’t forgotten Daddy Tom. Not even close. But being here, being seen—really seen—by someone like Spencer? It made the ache a little easier to carry.
“Do you have your phone with you?”
He nodded. “It’s dead. I left it in the bathroom.”
“I’ll charge it for you.” Jamie watched him leave.
The man was like no one he had ever known.
He wondered if Daddy Tom had called and left a message.
At this point, he never wanted to feel this kind of pain again.
He wouldn’t go back to him. The thought of being on his own terrified him, and he’d love it if Spencer would give him a chance.
If he didn’t find a new daddy, he might not make it.
Since there was no way Jamie could sleep, his thoughts circled.
Spencer had promised to get his things from Daddy Tom. But how?
Since Spencer had charged his phone, Jamie hadn’t checked it. Part of him hadn’t wanted to. The other part had been clinging to the tiniest hope that maybe Daddy Tom had realized what he’d done. Maybe there was a message. A missed call. Something.
After a while, Jamie slipped out from under the covers, careful not to wake Spencer. He padded across the wooden floor and ducked into the bathroom. He shut the door quietly, sat on the edge of the tub, and unlocked the screen to his phone.
Nothing.
No texts. No missed calls. No voicemail. Just the same empty inbox staring back at him like it had been waiting to break his heart all over again.
Jamie’s chest tightened. He blinked hard, but the tears came anyway. Slow, hot, bitter. He’d been dumped—left in a parking lot like he was nothing, and Tom hadn’t even bothered to check if he was okay. Not a single word. Not even a lie to soften the blow.
He curled forward, elbows on his knees, phone dangling from his fingers. How could he do this? After everything. After the promises. After the way Jamie had looked at him like he was home.
It wasn’t just the silence. It was what the silence meant. That Daddy Tom hadn’t just left—he’d erased him. Like Jamie had never mattered.
Jamie pressed the heel of his hand to his chest, trying to breathe through the ache. Spencer had been kind, gentle, and steady. But this pain wasn’t something kindness could fix. It was the kind that settled deep, the kind that made him question his worth.
He sat there for a long time, letting the quiet of the cabin hold him while the storm inside raged. Eventually, he wiped his face, stood up, and slipped back into bed beside Spencer. He didn’t say a word. Just curled close, needing the warmth, needing something to remind him he hadn’t disappeared.
Spencer stirred slightly, draping his arm over him in sleep. Jamie closed his eyes and tried to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as alone as Daddy Tom had made him feel.