Chapter Nineteen
Spencer
Spencer hadn’t stopped thinking about Billy’s visit.
The way he showed up uninvited, smug and sharp, like he still had some kind of hold over Spencer’s life.
But what stuck with Spencer most wasn’t Billy—it was Jamie.
The way Jamie stood his ground, voice shaking but fierce, slamming the door in Billy’s face like he was done being anyone’s target.
That moment hit Spencer hard. Jamie wasn’t just surviving anymore. He was fighting back.
Spencer watched the door slam shut with a sharp finality, the echo still lingering in the cabin’s quiet.
Jamie stood there trembling, his shoulders tense, his breath shallow.
Spencer’s heart ached at the sight—but beneath the worry, pride bloomed.
Jamie had stood his ground. He hadn’t let Billy walk all over him. He’d protected what was his.
Spencer walked over and gently guided Jamie back to the couch.
He sat down and pulled Jamie onto his lap, cradling him close.
Jamie curled into him without hesitation, burying his face in Spencer’s chest. Spencer rocked him slowly, one hand rubbing circles on his back, the other resting over Jamie’s heart like he could shield it from everything outside.
“You did good,” Spencer murmured. “You were brave.”
Jamie didn’t respond right away. He just breathed, letting Spencer’s warmth settle the storm inside him. After a few minutes, his voice came out soft and uncertain. “How did Billy know about Tom?”
Spencer sighed. “I don’t know. Whoever owns these cabins probably told him. Billy used to live around here. He knows the owner.”
Jamie nodded against his chest, but Spencer could feel the tension still lingering in his body. Then Jamie pulled back just enough to look up at him, eyes searching. “Are you sure you don’t want him back?”
Spencer’s heart clenched. He cupped Jamie’s cheek, brushing his thumb gently across the skin. “No. Never. I’m with you.”
“I thought he was messing around when he asked if I was your husband.”
Spencer shook his head. “No, I told him we were married. I wanted him to know you’re mine. And who knows…” He smiled softly. “What can happen between us?”
Jamie’s eyes filled with something tender—hope, maybe. Spencer held him tighter, letting the silence stretch between them, not heavy this time, but full of possibility. Whatever came next, Spencer knew one thing for sure: he wasn’t letting go.
After comforting him, Spencer knew they needed a reset. Something soft. Something good. So he booked two seats on the Christmas train that ran through the snowy hills just outside town. It was a little cheesy, sure, but Spencer had a feeling Jamie would love it.
And he did.
The train was decked out like a holiday dream—garlands wrapped around every window, twinkling lights strung across the ceiling, and red velvet booths that felt like something out of an old movie.
Christmas songs played gently over the speakers, and every so often, Santa himself strolled through the cars, handing out candy canes and posing for pictures with wide-eyed kids.
Jamie’s eyes lit up the second they stepped aboard. Spencer watched him take it all in—the snow-covered trees flashing past the windows, the warm glow of the lanterns, the scent of cinnamon and roasted ham drifting from the dining car.
They settled into their booth, and when their meals arrived, Spencer leaned in and said, “I’m proud of you. For slamming that door in Billy’s face. You didn’t let him rattle you.”
Jamie smiled, soft and a little shy. “I was scared. But I didn’t want him to see that.”
Spencer nodded. “You were brave. That’s what matters.”
They talked over dinner—roast turkey with cranberry glaze, buttery mashed potatoes, and fresh rolls that melted in their mouths.
Jamie asked about the horses back in Montana, and Spencer told him everything.
How the barn smelled in the early morning, how the foals stumbled around like drunk toddlers, how quiet the world felt when he was out riding alone.
“I’m a licensed vet,” Spencer said between bites. “So if you ever want to help, I could show you the ropes.”
Jamie’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Really.”
Dessert was a spread of holiday classics—peppermint bark, sugar cookies shaped like snowflakes, and a rich chocolate yule log that Jamie devoured with wide eyes and a happy hum.
After the train pulled back into town, Spencer wasn’t ready to end the night. They stopped at a little bookstore still open late for the season. Spencer picked out a few cozy reads—some romance, a couple of adventure stories, and one about a boy who finds a lost horse in the snow.
Jamie hugged the books to his chest like they were treasure.
On the way home, Spencer swung by the corner shop and grabbed a pint of Jamie’s favorite ice cream—chocolate. They didn’t say much on the drive back, but the silence felt warm this time. Easy.
Spencer glanced over at Jamie, curled up in the passenger seat with the books in his lap and a soft smile on his face. After everything, they were still here. Still together.
And that was enough.
As soon as Spencer pulled the truck up to the cabin, he spotted the note taped to the door.
His stomach tightened. He didn’t like surprises—not anymore.
Not after everything with Billy. Not after the silence from Nathan.
He reached for Jamie’s hand, needing the grounding, the warmth of it, as they walked up the steps together.
The paper fluttered slightly in the breeze.
Spencer peeled it off, folded it without reading, and led Jamie inside.
They kicked off their boots, hung their jackets, and the quiet of the cabin wrapped around them like a blanket.
Still, Spencer felt the tension in his chest, the weight of old wounds pressing against the present.
He guided Jamie to the bedroom, the one place that felt like theirs. “Sit next to me on the bed and we’ll read this together,” he said, voice gentle but tight.
Jamie nodded and climbed up beside him, curling close. Spencer unfolded the note and held it so they could both see.
Spencer,
I’m sorry for misleading you into coming to the Christmas mixer.
I knew you wanted to meet a little. So, it would be perfect, but I had another plan too.
I wanted to put our band back together. We did so well together, minus the fighting over Billy and Farlan.
It was a dream I had to get us back together, but I’m sorry this upset you.
I’d like to have breakfast with just you tomorrow.
You can drop Jamie at my cabin. Alfie wants Jamie to help bake and make some decorations.
Sorry,
Nathan.
Spencer stared at the words, his jaw tightening.
Misleading. That was the part that stung.
He’d come here thinking this was about healing, about connection, about building something new with Jamie.
But Nathan had dragged the past into it—Billy, Farlan, the band. All the things Spencer had buried deep.
Jamie pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Spencer’s waist. “Are you okay with that, Daddy Spencer?”
Spencer looked down at him, heart softening. “Are you?”
Jamie nodded. “I want to help Alfie.”
Spencer exhaled, brushing Jamie’s hair back from his forehead. “Let me explain something to you, just so you know the story.”
“Okay.”
Spencer lifted Jamie gently onto his lap, holding him close, grounding himself in the feel of Jamie’s warmth. He kissed his temple, then traced the curve of his earlobe with his thumb, needing the contact to steady himself.
“I love singing and playing my guitar,” he began, voice low.
“Loved playing for the band. It was everything to me. But then Billy and Farlan—he was our keyboardist—they messed around behind my back. It destroyed me. Not just the betrayal, but the way it made me question everything. My worth. My judgment. My place in the world.”
Jamie’s eyes were wide as he listened.
“Billy was our backup singer and guitarist. We had chemistry on stage. We sang together. And I thought that meant something. But I wasn’t going to ruin the band over that shit. I tried to keep it together.”
Jamie’s voice was soft. “It must have hurt you.”
Spencer nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. That’s an understatement.
They kept it going while we were traveling.
Six months of lies. And then—then I got the call.
My grandfather had passed.” He paused, breath catching.
“I’d promised him I’d take over the ranch when he was gone.
So, I quit the band. Walked away from all of it. ”
Jamie leaned his forehead against his. “That must have been tough.”
“It was,” Spencer said quietly. “But I don’t regret it. Because it led me here. To you.” He held Jamie tighter, letting the silence settle around them. This time, it didn’t feel heavy. It felt like healing. Like maybe, just maybe, the past didn’t get to win.
“Did you have any friends in Montana to help you?”
“Not the kind of friends who know the real me. So, no. It nearly destroyed me.”
“So you’re not out in Montana?”
“No.”
“Won’t I cause a stir then?”
“You’re never a stir. I won’t use my words to make an announcement, but I’ll live with you as my lover. I’m not ashamed of being with you or being gay. I mostly didn’t come out because of my grandfather. I think he knew but never said shit to me about it.”
“That’s good enough for me.”
“You need to know that Nathan, who I love like a brother, never got over me quitting. He will never understand my promise. We go through the reasons, but this time, he tried to force it on me. I’m not moving back. I can’t.”