Chapter 18
(Song)
“You’re here! You’re here!” Song chanted, bouncing in the doorway of the house as snow swirled around Solo and Suede.
“And brought us more snow, I see,” Daddy chuckled, one arm around Song and gently drawing him backwards so his siblings could come in. “Come on in out of it before you freeze.”
“Thanks, man. I’m Suede; it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Gage,” Daddy said. “Good to meet you too. Song has been so excited about tonight that he’s already pulled down all your favorite games and insisted on teaching us how to play Exploding Minions in case you wanted to.”
“Awe, kiddo, you didn’t have to do that,” Suede said, tugging him into a hug just as soon as the door was closed behind them. “I’m just happy to have time off to enjoy playing anything.”
Song stepped back to let him get his winter gear off and to hug Solo, who’d set down the gift bags she’d been carrying to remove her boots. Song sent her sprawling when he tackle-hugged her and got tickled for his efforts.
“Menace,” she said, shaking her head at him as he sprawled on his back beside her, giggling.
“Always.”
“Where’s Zachy?” she asked as she sat up and shrugged off her jacket.
Giggling from around the corner told Song exactly where Zachy was.
“Right here!” Zachy said, popping out from his hiding spot and waving. “Peek-a-boo!”
Laughing, Solo covered her face with her hands, then flipped them apart like window shutters. “Peek-a-boo!”
Zachy giggled more and ran to hug her.
“Awe, look at you in your fuzzy Grinch outfit,” Solo cooed, hugging Zachy.
“You like it?” Zachy asked.
“I love it. You look so adorable,” she replied, holding him on her lap as he looked up at Suede, who was grinning down at them.
“Are you Song’s brother?” Zachy asked.
“I am,” Suede said as he knelt and held his hand out to Zachy, who shook it. “And Solo is right, you are adorable.”
Zachy beamed at that and vacated Solo’s lap, arms open. “Can I have huggies?”
“You sure can,” Suede said, sweeping him into a big hug.
Seeing his siblings extend their love and acceptance to Zachy just added to the warm, fuzzy feelings that had been fluttering around in Song’s belly all day.
“Wanna see our playroom?” Song asked, wanting to show Suede since Solo had not only seen it but also spent an hour in there playing with them one morning after dropping Song off.
“Of course,” Suede said, letting go of Zachy, who happily took Solo to the kitchen where the cookies and the cocoa were.
Some of the changes that had taken place in the playroom since the first time Song had seen it still left him feeling completely blown away by the effort Zachy had gone through to transform it into a shared space for both.
“Whoa, dude, you have a music corner?” Suede asked as they stepped into the room.
“Yup,” Song replied, practically dragging him over to the little raised stage that his Daddy had constructed for him.
There was even strobe lights mounted to the ceiling above the spot where a toy drum kit sat with several other toy instruments laid out in a horseshoe shape in front of it.
“There’s more in here too,” Song explained, lifting the lid on the padded bench to show Suede the toy tambourines, saxophone, keyboard, xylophone, maracas, bells, triangles, and whistles tucked away in there.
“Damn, what did you guys do, rob a record store?” Suede teased.
“It’s all the toys at the club that I got fussed at for playing and even a couple more,” Song explained. “And the best part is that Zachy loves to play them with me, and so does Ajay when he stays after band practice.”
“I might not know as much as Solo about how this whole Daddy-little thing works, but it clearly works for you,” Suede said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you look so happy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Naa, kid, you have nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes I feel like I’m the one who should be apologizing for the way I had to pivot from being the big brother who took you everywhere with me to some barely present parental figure who only really had time for you when I was already too exhausted to completely enjoy it. ”
“I’d rather that than you letting the state take me away,” Song told him as he led him to the wall of memories, a corkboard-covered wall where he and Zachy pinned the pictures they drew and printouts of the photos they’d taken.
There were already several images from New York interspaced between blueprints for dioramas and the napkins Song had scribbled lyrics on.
There were glittery snowflakes too. He and Zachy had cut them out of bright blue pieces of paper, using the sharp scissors under Papa’s careful supervision, and then drawn on them with glitter glue pens.
The tiny diamond windows cut into each of the carefully constructed snowflakes left each with its own unique look to it.
“I was never going to let that happen,” Suede insisted. “No matter what it took. Now I get to see you chasing your dreams and falling in love. That makes it more than worth it. I’m totally blown away by the vibe in this room. You’re really making a life for yourself here.”
“It wasn’t me,” Song explained. “It was them, right from the very beginning. The first time I came over, I thought it would just be me hanging out and playing with Zachy, but it was so much more than that.”
“How so?” Suede asked as they settled down in the giant beanbag chairs in the middle of the room, directly in front of the flatscreen television that had been mounted on the wall across from them.
The edges were covered in the colorful stickers he and Zachy had selected from the sticker book they’d found during their New York trip.
With their daddy's permission, of course.
When he and Zachy played in here, they played a constant stream of cartoons.
It was silent tonight, but Song knew that the television in the living room already had Christmas movies streaming on it in anticipation of the game night to come.
They’d get there in a while. For now, he was grateful for the opportunity to talk and have a real conversation with Suede that his brother wasn’t yawning through, even if that meant he’d slipped out of his little space to do it.
“Just, like, when it was time to make supper, we all did it together,” Song explained.
“Even when Zachy and I are little, there are things we can do to help, like set the table and get out the mixing bowls. They’ll hold our hands so we can help chop things and let us lick the spoons and the blades from the mixer when we’re making dessert.
They never just sent us into another room to play so we wouldn’t be in the way. We’re never in the way.”
Suede nodded at that, laugh lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes as he smiled at him. “They treated you like a member of the family.”
“Yeah, they really did. All I ever had to do was be myself. I can talk music with Daddy Gage and sit with him to watch concert footage from Shriveled Rose and the next moment be outside with Papa Cooper playing in the snow or listening to him read to us.”
“So, you can do things one-on-one with them as well as together?” Suede asked.
“Exactly. There’s no jealousy, there’s no mine.
There's just us and all the different ways our lives mingle. Like when Papa Cooper brings work stuff home with him. He never takes it to a different room; he just spreads everything out on the coffee table if we’re in the living room or on the kitchen table if we’re in the kitchen, so he’s present, even if he happens to be doing something else.
Zachy and I aren’t little all the time; we have as much big time as we do little, so when Papa is trying to work something out, there are times when he’ll talk it through with us.
He really listens to our suggestions too and asks what inspired it. ”
Suede's smile grew more the longer Song spoke. “Are you thinking of moving all of your things over here?”
Biting his lower lip, Song gave a hesitant nod. “It’s not like I wanna ditch you guys or anything like that; it’s just…”
“I’m going to stop you right there before you start apologizing for something that is a natural progression of life,” Suede said.
“I’d be pissed as hell if you felt like you had to stick around the house pining for the men you love rather than taking that leap to be happy and present in their lives full time.
If this is where your heart is, then this is where you need to be.
Seriously, kiddo, I’m proud of you for recognizing that they give you what you need and that this is where you want to be.
That house is gonna be there, and your name is always going to be on it if you ever need to come back ‘cause that’s our legacy as a family.
You don’t have to remain in your childhood room for that to be a thing; it just is. ”
Song leaned to hug him, the beanbag tipping a bit as he clung to his brother. “I just never want you to feel like I’m not grateful for everything you guys did for me.”
“You never have to worry about that.”
“Thanks.”
“Hearing about the way things went for you in New York and this opportunity you guys have to be managed by someone who knows the ins and outs of the industry has really inspired me,” Suede admitted.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, kid, which is why I’ve been looking into what it will take to step away from the construction company and all the bullshit that’s been going on under the new owners.”
“Wait, seriously, you’re thinking about quitting?” Song squeaked, pulling away to stare into Suede’s eyes and the seriousness he saw reflected there.
“The company but not the industry,” Suede explained.
“Seeing you take a chance on yourself, your music, and your personal life has gotten me thinking a lot about doing the same thing myself. I’m tired of busting my ass for a paycheck with nothing else to show for it.
Even Solo finds time to date when someone catches her attention, and we both know how much time she’s devoted to her job to be named the manager.
I’ve never found that balance, and honestly, it’s getting old.
If it weren’t for the invite to join you and your men tonight, I would have been sitting on the couch watching Christmas Vacation and eating gourmet popcorn by myself until I passed out and left the movie to watch me. ”
“Finally!” Song declared, wiggling around in the seat doing a happy dance. “Dude, how long have me and Solo been trying to tell you that you need to dust off your good jeans and take someone out? Do you have someone in mind?”
“I wish. I don’t even know where to start when it comes to meeting someone except maybe the pool table down at Rusty’s ‘cause I’d be down for anyone who just wants to shoot a few games, have a few beers, and talk about how the Raven’s season went this year because I was seriously impressed by the effort they’ve put in and hope that carries them through the playoffs. ”
“Same. Football night here means barbeque, wings, and a ton of submarine sandwiches. You have to come over and watch a game with us sometime, especially if you’re going to have more free time.”
“I hope to,” Suede said. “I’d love to take you up on the offer.
Right now, I’m looking into all the steps of getting my own contracting company up and off the ground, because I’d much rather do smaller renovations than work on massive wide-scale structures and housing developments, crafting row after row of the same cookie-cutter homes in the latest subdivision. ”
“Then you should go for it,” Song said.
“Trying to. All my certifications are up to date, so right now I’m reading over the paperwork regarding permits and licensure, which is a lot,” Suede admitted.
“I’ve already reached out to a few guys who I’d love to bring on if I do get things up and running, and they are definitely on board to jump ship if I can pull this off, but it’s some scary-ass shit too when I start thinking about the insurance I’ll need to carry and what the startup costs are gonna look like, in addition to being able to make sure I could pay the crew and keep up with my own bills.
Solo’s gonna help me with that part since she’s got a better head for numbers than anyone I know. ”
“I never would have passed any of my math classes if she hadn’t guided me through the problems step by step until I actually got the hang of them.”
“Same, and she was two years behind me,” Suede admitted.
“I’ve never understood how she could just sit with the book and start working through the examples without a teacher to break it down on the board or anything else to get her started, but she saved my ass many a year with her ability to do that.
She’s always been amazing that way, just like Mom. ”
As if she knew they were talking about her, Solo’s laughter drifted down the hall, reminding them that they had a game night to get to.
“She laughs like her too,” Song said, closing his eyes and letting the ringing sound wrap around them.
“Yeah, she does. We’d better get out there before there’s no more fun left to be had,” Suede declared, standing slowly, while Song popped out of the chair and helped him the rest of the way up.
The laughter grew as they reached the hall, and it wasn’t just Solo’s.
Zachy’s giggles mingled with Daddy’s chuckles, and they could all see why the moment they spotted Papa Cooper in an elf hat and bedroom slippers, wearing the angry elf sweater they’d found him in downtown New York.
He was grinning ear to ear too and preening as he showed off the outfit he’d chosen for the evening.
“Oh, oh man,” Suede chuckled. “No wonder you love it here so much. Dad used to put on stuff like that all the time.”
“Seriously?” Song asked, giggling as his brother threw an arm around his shoulders.
“Hell yeah, and drive us to school that way too, complete with Christmas carols blaring.”
“I don’t remember.”
“Awe, honey, you were so young; that’s not surprising,” Solo said as she wrapped her arm around Song’s waist, his siblings sandwiching him between them. “But seeing this, you’re gonna have so many opportunities to have those memories now, and I love that for you.”
“I love that for me too,” Song said as Zachy skipped over to him, plopped a Nightmare Before Christmas hat on his head to match the outfit Song had on, and gave him a wet, messy kiss on the cheek.
It was the perfect kickoff to games, fun, and a night spent with the people who meant the world to him.