Chapter 31 Johnny
JOHNNY
Pulling up at my sister’s house to drop off Peanut after getting the text that their flight landed, I can’t help but laugh.
Pete is on his knees begging both the mothers of his children for something.
Jared is throwing suitcases into the back of his Ford Explorer.
My parents are yelling at Erica while she is screaming something at her husband.
And through all of this, I see the kids in the front window – with popcorn.
The little ones look a bit worried, but Jess and Jamie are both enraptured like this is an episode of Jerry Springer – not that either of them really would get that reference.
Hell, the only reason I do is because the neighbor lady who used to watch me when I was sick as a kid would have it on the TV and she would make me chant with her.
The slam from my truck door closing seems to be a signal for them all to turn on me instead of each other.
As per usual, I am always the one in the wrong even when it was their own fucking fault that they are in the situations they are.
One of these days, I will grow enough of a spine to finally stop showing up.
“John Joseph Gander! How dare you call the police on your only sister!”
My mother is the first to jump at the opportunity to use me as a scapegoat, but it doesn’t take long for them all to be piling it on.
I do my best to ignore them while I open the passenger door for Peanut to hop down.
The first thing he does is run over to where Pete is kneeling and lift his leg.
I can feel my face burning from how red I must be, trying to hold back the laughter.
Pete maybe should have chosen to kneel somewhere other than in front of Peanut’s favorite bush.
Suddenly, I’m not only the asshole who called the cops on his own flesh and blood, but I’m also the horrible person that trains dogs to piss on people. Part of me wishes I actually had that ability – and that Peanut had a bigger bladder. None of them would escape the pee zone.
“Where the hell are my dogs?” the boys’ mother screams at me while her heels sink in the slush and mud that remain in the yard from the brief snow that came down over the last few days.
“Exactly where I said they’d be,” I tell her calmly and make my way to the door, ignoring the rest of the cacophony – thank you Steve for the word of the day calendar – to embrace my niblings.
“They are at the vet office and they will let you know how much it was to keep them for the past three weeks.”
She screeches and throws one of her shoes at me as soon as she gets inside. I expected as much, so it wasn’t much to swat it out of the way. I would have ducked, but the kids are behind me. I can handle a twelve dollar knockoff from Payless if it hits me, but Suzy would get hurt by it.
“Like I have the money for that! That’s the whole reason you were supposed to watch them!”
Shaking my head, I snatch a handful of popcorn out of the bowl in Jamie’s hands.
This is the family I was given. They can find the money for a three week cruise in the Bahamas, but can’t find the money for someone to take care of their dogs while they’re gone.
I bet they’ll even complain about not being able to pay their rent or bills next.
“How am I supposed to pay my rent if I have to pay that vet, huh? Do you want my boys to be homeless?”
Bingo! Daddy will be so proud of me for calling that one. Now, I just have to do it like we practiced. I can stand up to them now. Nothing I do will ever get them to love me or respect me, so it’s time to draw that line in the sand and fill it with concrete.
“You’re the adult in their lives. Maybe you should be asking their father to contribute more than just spending the nights in your bed,” I tell her and turn to Suzy’s mom.
“And you could do so much better than Pete. You’ve got amazing kids who deserve a father figure who wants to be a part of their lives more than the money they represent. ”
Turning to my parents, my sister and her hopefully soon to be ex-husband – I'm not holding my breath – I steel myself against the emotional manipulation I know will be thrown my way.
“My whole life you have treated me like an accessory instead of a person,” I force the words out because I know this could very well be the end of my relationship with them.
“In place of love, I had judgment. In place of understanding, I had mocking. I didn’t need to worry about bullies in school because I got enough of that here at home.
I was never going to be the son you wanted because what you want doesn’t exist outside of prime time television. ”
My sister and mother look ready to explode, but my father merely looks bored. That’s his default reaction to everything. He doesn’t care. He never did.
“I’m not straight. I will likely never have kids of my own,” I continue before anyone can say anything. “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t see these children as my family even if I have to cut the rest of you leeches out of my life.”
“My daughters will have nothing to do with you,” Erica threatens and I lose the last of my resolve to keep this discussion about me.
“You have two children, but only one daughter. They have told you that enough times that even someone as slow as you should have gotten it through your head by now. Jess is non-binary and it’s fucking long overdue that you respect that about them!”
“I know my own daughter!” she screams back at me while Jared tries to throw a punch.
It’s easy enough to defend myself against the asshole, but I am hindered by the screaming and crying children behind me.
How the hell does the universe allow people like them to procreate while amazing people struggle to conceive every day?
By trying to shield the kids, I manage to give Jared enough openings that I know I’ll end up with some bruises on my face and ribs, but honestly his kids hit harder than he does.
“I’ve already called the cops!” Jamie calls out when I finally manage to get an arm lock on her father. Glancing back at her, she gives me a smile. At seventeen, I know she’s ready to get out of their house, but she also refuses to leave her sibling behind.
“Good,” my mother huffs out as she collapses into a chair. “Let them take the abomination in. Maybe in prison he’ll understand how wrong he is to go against his parents all these years.”
Oof. Despite the mental preparation with Dexter earlier, before he went in for his shift at the grocery store, having my mother actually verbalize that she’d rather see me in prison than accept me as I am hurts like a bitch.
“And that’s why we’ve filed for emancipation, Gran,” Jess chimes in from the hallway.
I notice the smaller children and Suzy’s mother are no longer in the room with us.
Pete is still dry heaving in the bathroom while the boys’ mother is sulking in the kitchen.
“You always talk shit on Uncle Johnny like he’s fucking Satan or something. ”
I smirk at the double meaning behind her choice of phrasing and catch Jamie’s eyes sparkling with humor as well. One thing I know for a fact is that I passed my love of word play on to my niblings.
“But he’s the only one in this family who actually cares,” they continue.
“When was the last time any of you asked what Jamie or I are interested in? You know that I like to draw only because you’ve yelled at me so much over the years to stop doodling.
You think Jamie actually likes cheerleading?
She’s been on the volleyball team since seventh grade and even secured a scholarship to WU despite only being a junior. ”
I meet Jamie’s eyes again and she nods. “I got the official offer letter right before we left, but coach told me at the end of the season last year that the scouts loved me.”
Letting go of her father, I rush over to hug my niece.
This is everything she’s wanted for years – to be recognized for being good at something other than being pretty.
With her dyslexia, her studies have always been a struggle, but she’s an amazing athlete.
She will make an amazing contribution to the world of athletics someday once she figures out if she wants to go into sports medicine or the business side of things.
It’s while I’m congratulating my niece that the police show up.
Lucky for me, not so much my brother-in-law, it’s my new friend Officer Reynolds who answered the call.
After Jess showed him the video, he put Jared in cuffs to sit in the back of his cruiser while he questioned everyone.
My mother tried to say I started it, but with the video evidence, she got a citation for giving false testimony.
With the revelation that the kids have already filed for emancipation, Trent allows them to leave with me with the understanding that a social worker will follow up sometime in the next few days.
Somehow, I think this is the best case scenario for how today could have gone.
Before we pull away, Jess jumps out of the truck to run into the house.
Seconds later, they’re running back to the truck with a very confused but happy Peanut in their arms. Now, our family is complete.