Chapter 5
Rivi
Irushed home with my packages and into the house. Mama was still at work, so I had the house to myself.
I hopped up the stairs two at a time and threw my new things on my bed. I wanted to open them all immediately and try out everything. But first….
First, I had a party I badly needed to get invited to.
When I came out to Mama, she embraced me and told me she loved me. “All that matters,” she told me, “is that you have love in your heart.” That was when she let it slip. “You know. Your Uncle Trent is gay. If you ever need to talk to someone else, he would probably be a good listener.”
I was shocked. Then weirdly embarrassed.
What would I say? Uncle Trent was nice and I loved him, but I didn’t confide private stuff in him, like when I first started liking boys.
Sure, he showed up often, especially for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas, always with lavish gifts.
He was kind-hearted. But we didn’t really talk about personal stuff beyond school and grades.
On deeper levels, he intimidated me a bit.
But now armed with new knowledge—kink knowledge—it was a different story. Uncle Trent owned Club 99. It boggled my mind.
I scrolled through my phone until I came to his name. Probably, I wouldn’t get through immediately. Calls to him always went to voice mail. Then someone I didn’t know would call me back and tell me when to expect a return call from him.
I had no idea what to say. I really didn’t care about Club 99. What I suddenly and desperately wanted was an invitation to his country estate party. If I was ever going to meet someone and feel safe in my surroundings while doing so, it could be there.
He might say no. He might not want to say why. I had to divulge some secrets if I were to get him on my side.
Breathless, I hit the call icon.
Voicemail.
I left a message, trying to sound normal. I felt like I’d just completed a mile run.
Uncle Trent. Hi. It’s Rivi. Uh, hi. Yeah. I said hi twice now, I know. I—I am calling about Christmas. Please call me back soon.
A voice recorder was no place to say anything too personal. Plus, my nerves screamed at me to shut up. To not ask. Not say a word. I didn’t need anything more from Uncle Trent. He’d given me and Mama so much.
I paced the floor of my room as I stared at my phone. I could send a text, too. But that felt strangely intrusive. I didn’t trust my decision-making in this moment. I was still reeling from finding out he was a kink guy. Did he play at his own club? What did he like kink-wise?
Too many questions. I collapsed on my bed amid all my bags of treats and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was too soon to open this door.
My phone sang. Trent’s number. I held my breath and swiped answer.
“Hello?”
“Rivi Sebastion?”
“Yes.”
“This is Trent Winterbourne’s assistant. Mr. Winterbourne will return your call at 4:30 p.m. Is that convenient for you?”
“Yes.” My voice shook on that one word.
The phone went dark.
I took a heaving breath.
Again, my brain pelted me with questions.
Was I even ready to meet others who might be daddies who were attracted to littles like me?
It was my fantasy. But only in my mind. Reality was quite a different thing.
I was shy. I didn’t know how I’d react. What would happen if someone liked me in that way?
What if they were weird or rough or strange?
I could say no, of course. I could run away. I was good at that.
But on the other side of the argument, I’d never know if I didn’t get myself out there. I was twenty-one. Still a virgin. Time wasn’t stopping to wait for me.
I looked at the clock on my phone. Uncle Trent would call in half an hour. I had that long to decide what I wanted and how to say it to him.
Frozen, listening to the silence, I lost track of time. The phone rang before I realized a half an hour had passed.
“Rivi? You called? What’s going on?” His voice always held a deep, resonant tone.
“Hi, Uncle Trent.”
“How are you doing? How’s the job?”
“It’s good. I’m happy with it.”
“That great to hear. Are you okay? Plans for Christmas?”
He pelted me with questions. I didn’t call him often. I steadied myself.
“Well, um, speaking of Christmas….”
“Go on,” he prodded.
I was hoping he might say something about his party. But I shouldn’t have expected that. His norm was to bring us gifts before or after Christmas, or if he was traveling, have them delivered. He did not usually spend that exact day with us.
“Well, um, I was out today. I was shopping, you see, and I overheard two guys. They were talking.” I stopped and cleared my throat.
“Did they say something that bothered you? What’s going on? Rivi, you can always talk to me. You know that.”
I pressed my lips tight until my teeth nearly cut into them, then spoke. “I do know that. But I don’t do it. I mean, I don’t tell you everything.”
“Well, that’s all right. But you know I’m here for you.” His voice softened. Like he really cared about me.
“You—you never told me you were gay, Uncle Trent.”
I heard breaths on the other end of the connection.
“Mama told me. When—when I came out.”
“That’s very brave, Rivi. I’m glad you told me.”
“I would’ve before, but I just, well, never found the right time. Mama told me if I ever needed to talk to someone, you would be a good listener.”
“She’s right. Is something up? Does this have to do with the two guys you overheard?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me. What did they say?”
“They, um, were talking about Club 99. And the Christmas party there with Santa. There was this poster on the wall, and I saw it and then I heard them and I’m too shy to go to any clubs. I don’t meet people, but they were talking and, well—”
“Rivi, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“Where were you shopping?”
I blurted it out. “The Haven.”
Silence.
“I—I—well, there were some things I wanted. Uncle Trent, I’m a little and I’ve known it for at least five years.”
More silence.
I continued, not feeling as brave as he’d told me I was only a minute ago. “The guys were talking, and I heard your name. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it just happened.”
In a robotic tone, Uncle Trent said, “What did they say?”
“That you own Club 99?”
“They said that did they?”
“And that the best Christmas party is not there but out in the country. At an estate.”
“I see. They were talking a lot, then.”
“Yeah, I guess. I asked them some questions. And that’s how I found out it was a Christmas tree farm and huge mansion and, well, that it was your estate. I didn’t say anything to them about you. I promise.”
“I know you wouldn’t out anyone to strangers, Rivi.”
“But that’s just it. They seemed like they knew you or who you were. And it was all just by accident that I heard them. But, Uncle Trent, what I want to know is—is—”
“Rivi. Stop for a second. Let’s go back a bit. This is a lot of information. Let’s go a little slower. You say you are a little?”
“I know I am. Mama doesn’t know. Actually, no one does. Except now, you.”
“Have you experimented?”
I flushed all over at the question. “Only alone.”
“You’re very young.”
“I’m twenty-one. Not a kid anymore.”
“I know.” He swallowed loudly. “Are you saying you want to come to the club some time?”
“No. No way. I’m not ready for that.”
“Okay, slow down. I understand. It can be overwhelming, at first.”
“Right. But I don’t know any other way to meet people. People who might like me. Except maybe—”
“Maybe what?”
I was taking too long to get to my point, so I went for it right then.
“Uncle Trent, can I get an invitation to your Christmas party—or parties—in the country? I love that place. I feel safe there. And I know this year some of it will be private for kink. I want to come. I need to. With you there, I would feel good. It would be on familiar ground.”
Silence.
“Please. I’m alone and I don’t want to meet someone on some stupid dating site. I don’t want to go to the club. Maybe someday, but your parties sound perfect. Just what I might need.” I had forgotten to breath and inhaled loudly.
“Rivi, I hear you. I understand what you’re asking. And,” he paused, “of course you can come.”
My chest compressed. It took everything I had to hold back my squeal.
“Your mom is not invited. She knows I’m gay but doesn’t know details.
I don’t want her to know, so we’ll have to handle that.
But you are welcome. And you can stay with me for as long as you like over the holidays.
Stay with us, I mean. I have a fiancée now.
And he’s a little. Just so you’re not surprised when you get there. ”
I nearly sputtered into the phone. “Really? You’re a daddy?”
“Now you know some secrets about me.”
Uncle Trent was a daddy. Now things started to make more sense to me. Mama called his behavior over the years eccentric. But really he had another life. And it wasn’t the sort of life you just blurted to the world.
“I want to meet him.” I couldn’t keep the excitement from my voice.
“You will. His name is Ozzy. He’s shy like you, but I think you two will get along. Now. Let’s sort out the details.”
He was patient, not rushed. For a busy man, Uncle Trent always took his time with me. He offered to let me stay for ten days, all the way through New Year’s.
I could possibly get the holidays off work and not be fired. It was a busy time, but my job was not as important as other staff like slot technicians, security and bartenders. It was easy for the casino to hire temps to fill in, too. Fingers crossed.
We decided I could come on the 22nd and stay until New Year’s. Uncle Trent told me already had a room in mind for me.
Now, all I had left to do was decide how to tell Mama. Neither of us wanted me to lie to her, but also, she would not fit in. I suggested I should tell her it would be a lot of gay people. I was sure she’d understand.
Uncle Trent agreed.
By the time I hung up, I was nearly giddy. I threw back my head and lifted my legs into the air, wiggling them like a kid. I was so happy I’d picked today to shop, or I would never have known about the party.
This year, Christmas was going to be so great. Maybe I’d even get lucky.
Time to write a letter to Santa and put “daddy” at the top of the wish list.