Chapter 8
“Ihave to go home first,” Samuel says, just as they’re getting ready to leave for the day.
Bryan looks him over, a hungry, greedy perusal of the young man’s body, imagining all the things he wants to do and try. He just can’t help himself. The dam has broken.
He’s looking for traces of their earlier encounter everywhere on the boy. Are his lips swollen from all the sucking he did earlier in the day? Is his hair a little mussed from all the times Bryan shoved his fingers into the mass of it, desperate to control every part of Samuel that he could?
“Don’t look at me like that or we’ll never get out of here,” Samuel murmurs, and a blush spreads up his fair skin.
“I can’t help it. Why don’t I drive you, and then we can go to my place?”
“Okay.” Samuel looks around the office and decides no one is close by or paying attention. “Yes, Daddy.”
“I may need to forbid you from saying that word here. I can’t be hard all day.”
Samuel grins at him, pleased at the crude compliment.
The younger man is a revelation. And he’d been very candid and accurate in his confessions via email about what he liked and how he wanted to be treated, so Bryan feels like he has a map of how to behave and what to do in order to get the relationship right.
And he can’t do it wrong so long as he’s doing what Samuel wants. Which is also a relief and bolsters his courage.
And it had all been so easy once he got started. The way Samuel had come into his office, reserved and ready for disappointment, the desperate need he’d shown as soon as Bryan touched him. All of it was perfect.
“I guess I never intended to go to Lex’s, after all,” he says, interrupting Bryan’s musings.
“Oh?” He asks as the elevator doors close.
“I didn’t even pack my things for the weekend. Once I had a bite of steak, I didn’t want….”
“Spam?”
“Egotistical much? I was going to say hamburger, but you’re right. He is definitely spam to your top sirloin.”
“That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Bryan says.
Samuel laughs and presses a quick kiss to his cheek just as the doors open. They go into the parking garage, and Samuel turns on the radio for the drive. At this time of year, it’s all Christmas music all the time.
“Wendy wants you to join us for Christmas,” he says, but then realizes how that might sound. “Let me clarify, I want you to, as well. I spoke to her last night and there was a lot of squealing with joy that I wanted to be your Daddy.”
“Do you think we should see how the weekend goes first?” He can feel the weight of Samuel’s gaze, the heaviness of the question. A boy scared he’ll be alone.
He reaches over and takes the boy’s hand, slotting their fingers together.
He brings his hand to his mouth, kissing his fingers.
“I’m not concerned,” Bryan says, without hesitation.
“I want this and I want you. You’re beautiful and one of the few people I’m never tired of seeing.
So often, you’re the first person I think about and want to talk to.
Not just for work but everything. The idea of you leaving was terrifying. ”
Samuel sighs. “Oh. I… yes, Daddy. I feel the same way.”
He licks Samuel’s knuckle and sucks the joint into his mouth. He wants to taste every inch of the boy.
“Literally everything you do turns me on. The back of my hand is not an erogenous zone.”
Bryan chuckles.
“How do you know you’re going to like the weekend? Why are you so confident?”
“Are you familiar with the bible?”
Samuel snorts. “Well enough.”
“I suppose this is a strange analogy, but Paul says— though I don’t know where— that people who don’t believe have a veil over their eyes.
And if they come to Jesus, the veil will be removed, and everything they didn’t see before comes into focus.
That’s you. This. Us. I didn’t know you were gay.
I didn’t know you were a boy looking for a Daddy.
And as soon as I did, the veil was lifted and all I could see was you.
A wonderful, beautiful young man that someone beneath you was going to get to possess, and I thought, ‘then why can’t it be me?
’ If you’re willing to settle, then I want it to be me. ”
He gasps in outrage. “I’m not settling! You’re not beneath me. You’re my fantasy! I think I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.” He pauses. “But not in a stalkery way. Was that too forward?”
“No, it was just right,” he says, kissing his knuckles again.
Samuel sighs. “And I know enough about the bible to know that this was not what Paul meant. He’d be turning over in his grave if he heard that sort of blasphemy.”
“Well, it’s the example that came to mind, and I believe that love is love, and that was the most important thing to Jesus. We’re all allowed our interpretations,” he says, unfazed.
“My mother was very religious,” Samuel confesses. “I think that’s part of the reason I want commitment. I don’t want to be a total disappointment. I want marriage and monogamy and love.”
Bryan scowls at him and squeezes his hand.
“There is no way in the world she would think you were a disappointment. No one turns out exactly like their parents want, and parents are people, which means they’re flawed.
I’m sure she would have loved you enough to accept you in time.
You’re just too lovable,” he says, and that does make something near his heart clench unpleasantly because that’s a very bold statement.
He’s usually much more restrained. He doesn’t want to scare Samuel away.
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer comes onto the radio as they arrive.
“Will you come inside with me?” Samuel asks, voice small, as if it’s important.
Bryan turns off the car and gets out with him, holding his hand as they walk up the stairs to Samuel’s apartment. His boy hesitates, key in the lock, but the door closed. He seems to be waiting.
His cock was half hard in the car, but now he’s fully aroused, and he imagines Samuel’s mouth around him, how incredibly good it felt to have the boy so enthusiastic and lustful. Such a contrast to his marriage and the other woman he’d been with.
Being with Samuel is different, and he feels different.
This is real, he thinks, and extends his arm, hand flattening on the door as he presses close.
He presses his mouth to Samuel’s neck, his skin, which is already getting cold from being outside.
His breath puffs in front of him as he exhales.
“I can’t even wait for you to open the door.
I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you. ”
Samuel whimpers, a soft sound Bryan is already becoming addicted to. This isn’t the first time he’s heard it, and he instinctively knows it’s a sign of the boy’s willing surrender.
“Daddy,” he whispers, and his hand lands on Bryan’s thigh, squeezing the muscle there.
“Let’s go in, pumpkin.”
Samuel nods eagerly, and Bryan moves back, rests his hands on Samuel’s shoulders, and gives him a gentle squeeze.
“I just… I want you to know me. I love the idea of being known and desired despite my flaws.”
It’s both sweet and ominous. What the hell is in his apartment?
Samuel opens the door, and they go inside. It’s tidy. That’s the first thing he notices. And there isn’t anything untoward in the living room or the kitchen. Samuel gestures for him to follow him into his bedroom.
He isn’t sure what to expect. He’s a little nervous because Samuel is radiating anxiety. There are pillows and stuffed animals on the bed. At least a dozen of them, all neatly arranged.
“Oh no,” Samuel whispers, and dashes forward, placing a framed picture face down on the nightstand to hide it.
Bryan already knows what it was. Last year’s New Year’s Eve party. Bryan recognized himself because he was wearing a scarf his sister got him for Christmas that was blue and silver. Samuel looks at him over his shoulder, expression close to a pout.
“You saw it.”
Bryan doesn’t answer. It isn’t anything to be ashamed of. It just makes Bryan happy, makes him want Samuel even more than he already did.
“Are you mine like you would have been his?” Bryan asks.
‘I want you to use me and be greedy about it. I’m your boy, but I’m also your toy. I’m available. I want to leave you on Monday and dread sitting down.’
Just another snippet of the email that is burned into his brain for all eternity.
Samuel turns away, then back again, embarrassed. He nods. “More. I’ll… anything you want to try, I want to be that person for you.” He blushes.
Bryan grins. “You want my firsts, huh? You’ve already got a few. First time I ever came from a blow job. First time I had a partner who swallowed my come.”
“This is all very sad, actually. Never?” He asks.
“Nope. A blowjob was always just a warm-up to the main event.”
“Ah, yes, the legendary PIV,” Samuel says.
Bryan rolls his eyes. “Not that legendary, I assure you. Is it odd to say that what we’ve done has already been more meaningful to me than what I’ve done with my ex-wife?”
“Well, I don’t know if I believe it, but it’s certainly nice to hear.”
“You should believe it,” he says. “I can’t hardly keep my hands off you. I want everything with you, too. You know I’ve never had anal sex before. Do you want to take my virginity?” He asks, trying to keep it light-hearted.
“My first answer is ‘Yes, Daddy.’ That’s the main answer. But to be clear… I don’t top a lot, but I’m not averse to it. If I know you really want it. If I’m doing it as a service for you,” he says.
He’s surprised the boy is even offering. As submissive as he is, as powerless as he’d wanted to be for his Daddy, the idea of him topping doesn’t quite fit.
“How often have you done it?”
“Uh, once. But I just wound up being jealous of my partner getting railed and didn’t like it all that much. But I’ll do it if you want.”
Bryan has no idea if he wants to try it. Maybe once he’s gotten more experience, he’ll consider it. “Maybe we revisit that in a while.” He closes the distance between them and cups Samuel’s face in his hand, staring into his eyes. “I want to be inside you, sweetheart.”
“Oh good.” He offers his mouth for a kiss.
“Do you want it here? In your bed? For our first time?” He asks, kissing him on the lips and then along Samuel’s jaw. Samuel wraps his hands around Bryan’s biceps, squeezing him gently, feeling the muscle. “We have to go to my place to feed the dog, but we have some time.”
His hands clench on Bryan’s arms. “Make me, Daddy. Pretend I have to. I don’t want to be able to say no.”
“Sammy,” he whispers, awed by his honesty and the trust he wants to give. The boy looks up at him with tear-filled eyes.
“I feel bad that I was going to be with him. That I didn’t wait.”
“You didn’t go to him.”
“But I would have done things with him. Things that have meaning and that I’d rather do with you, and maybe it doesn’t seem like you’re special to me, but you are.”
He tilts his face up. “You’re special to me, too.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, again.
He hates for Samuel to feel bad about this.
“If you hadn’t been honest about what you wanted, we wouldn’t be here.
And do you think maybe some part of you knew you were sending the email to the wrong person?
I’m not sure you could have gone through with it, Samuel.
You’re such a good boy. Chaste. You don’t like casual sex, you want it to be important and have meaning.
You sent that email to the person it’d be important with.
I think that was a subconscious decision.
You didn’t even pack a bag, sweetheart. I don’t think you were going to go, baby.
I think you wanted me to stop you, wanted me to know because you couldn’t wait anymore.
You were a needy boy who needed to get Daddy’s attention. It worked.”
His brows pull together in thought, and he brings his hands to Bryan’s chest, touching him with careful fingers. “Do you think so, Daddy?”
“I know so. I’m certain of it. You were always meant to be mine. And you were very brave and very good to help Daddy see it.”
Samuel blushes brightly and ducks his head against Bryan’s chest. “I want to get ready for you. I want it to be right. Please?”
Bryan agrees, his cock throbbing in annoyance at having to wait, but he ignores it and leaves the bedroom, goes out to the living room to wait for Samuel to get ready. To be the boy he is and reveal himself to his Daddy.
It might be the longest hour of his life.