Chapter Fifteen
Caelum
Christmas Eve. A day to spend with family, to enjoy the magic of the holiday season, and a time to eat all the sugary treats.
More than anything, I wanted to spend it with Star. We’d talked about him coming here, but sadly, his agent had lined him up for some Christmas parade festival. I didn’t fully pay attention past, “I won’t be able to make it.”
As his daddy, it was my responsibility to keep track of all of it, to listen to his words as he spoke, and I’d been not listening to my boy’s words, allowing my disappointment to distract me.
That only made me feel worse about the entire situation.
Star deserved better, and I promised myself I would learn how to control my disappointment enough to hear his words when situations like this arose.
And they would arise again. His career wasn’t like mine. He wasn’t ever going to have set office hours, scheduled weekly days off, and the ability to plan far into the future. That simply wasn’t how his field worked.
The odds of us living together full-time were slim.
My work was here, and his? Everywhere. Could I try to rebuild a business near his homebase?
Of course I could. But that’s all his place was, a home base.
He spent months away and that wouldn’t change if I moved there.
He could move here, but he’d still be gone a lot, much of his work based in Hollywood.
We’d figure it out. I wasn’t sure how, but I was confident we would. Eventually.
I tried to remember that this was new for both of us and there was a learning curve. We both had to adjust to his schedule and how it did or didn’t mesh with mine. This wasn’t going to be the last holiday we wouldn’t be able to spend together.
We’d considered me flying to him, but that added a whole level of complication we weren’t ready for on short notice. Especially not with Davis being on vacation, visiting his hometown. We both had to accept this was what it was and that we’d be able to have our own “Christmas” another time.
There was a big party at Chained tonight, and I didn’t really want to go.
Looking around my house, all decorated for Christmas, the cookies I’d frosted piled on a platter, stockings hung by the chimney, the whole nine yards, I didn’t want to be here either.
He’d never promised to come home for Christmas, but that had been the dream.
Now that my dream wasn’t possible, maybe it was best for me to go hang out with everyone.
Spending Christmas Eve alone would only result in me hosting a pity party for one.
I went into my room and threw on some jeans and a button-down, leaving the pajamas I’d just taken off laid out on the bed for when I returned.
I wasn’t a complete Grinch. I still was going to love the holiday.
I could facetime Star, and we could sing carols, watch Buddy the Elf “together,” and maybe have a little phone sex. Normal Christmas fun.
A few minutes later, I drove to the club. I hadn’t checked in with anyone to see who might be there. But regardless of if any of my friends were, there would be someone to talk to. Chained was great that way. You could go solo, but that never meant that you would be alone.
It was oddly busy for a holiday, the parking lot nearly full. When I finally checked in and went inside, it was like Christmas had thrown up. I thought it had been over-the-top when we rented out the little room, and it had been. But this reached an entirely new level.
Tinsel and garland draped over everything, from the backs of chairs to the handrails. Santa sticker sheets waited on the tables for littles to take, although I suspect they were not little exclusives and any sticker lovers could take one. I snatched one for Star. He’d love them.
Glittery ornaments were hung up all over the small distance I crossed to the main room, and I passed at least half a dozen trees. All of this, and I hadn’t seen most of the club. Someone loved Christmas, and it showed.
Once I reached the main area, I wandered around looking for someone, anyone I knew.
That was when it hit me. My daddy friends, almost all of them, had littles of their own.
Of course, they weren’t here. They were unwrapping presents, singing, and drinking cocoa…
all the stuff I wanted to be doing. And good for them.
I sat down and chatted with some random people. My heart wasn’t in it. If anything, I was depleting the Christmas cheer from this space. And even though it was too early to go home from a night out, it felt far too late not to be in my own bed.
When I pulled into my drive, the lights were on. I’d sworn I turned them off. I was pretty good about that. But then again, I hadn’t exactly been in the best mood or focused. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that I left every light on.
When I walked inside, I stopped dead in my tracks. I hadn’t left the lights on. Someone had turned them on. That someone? Star.
He was sitting in front of the Christmas tree, looking at the ornaments.
“I didn’t know you were coming!”
He jumped up and ran over to me, throwing his arms and legs around me until I was holding him up and spinning around.
“I wasn’t supposed to, Daddy. But then there was an issue with the contract, and they asked me to sign a new one, and it gave me a way out…
one my agent suggested I take because of money.
” He kissed my cheek. “What was a boy to do? Fly to Daddy, of course. I grabbed my backpack, hopped on the first plane, and here I am.”
“So, in other words, you’re saying I got exactly what I wanted for Christmas?” I hugged him closer, breathing in his scent, not wanting to wake up if this was a dream.
“Depends on what you mean, Daddy. Is what you want me?” He giggled. My sweet boy knew it was.
“One million percent it is.” I slammed my lips to his, kissing him soundly until we were no longer just kissing, his hand tugging at my shirt as he mumbled into my mouth to take him to bed, my legs already taking us there.
There were cookies and presents and new Christmas traditions to start, but all of that was going to have to wait. My little sweet boy wanted me to take him to bed. He was getting no complaints from me. None.