Chapter Ten
Mitch
Awake minutes before the alarm went off at 5:27 a.m., I rubbed at my bleary eyes. Notwithstanding my aversion to the dogs on the sofa, I’d relented and let them sleep on the bed with me last night, their warm presence against my side a stark reminder of what I used to have.
Throwing off the bedclothes, I padded to the attached bathroom, then showered and got ready to start my day, thankful I’d been angry enough last night to not remove my boots and jacket on entering the cabin as I normally would. Leaving my outdoor clothes by the front door had been second nature until last night and my close encounter with Gabe.
Fully dressed, I slipped out the bedroom with minimal noise so as not to possibly wake the two men asleep on the couch. The door creaked a bit when I opened it, making me wince. I quietly headed into the living area, the dogs at my side, and had scarcely gone a few steps before pausing at the sight in front of me. Leo facing Gabe and snuggled in close behind him. They weren’t touching but they may as well have been.
They looked so good together.
Like lovers .
My chest lurched at the idea, and I tried hard to suppress the ridiculous pang of jealousy. I was the one looking in at the two of them rather than being included in their almost embrace. Jerking my eyes away, I forced my feet to move and walked over to the front door, slowly turned the lock, and quietly stepped outside. The sharp bite of cold air had me zipping my thick jacket up fully to keep warm as I headed directly to the stables to check on the horses.
As the only one living here, I had to rotate exercising them when riding the numerous trails crisscrossing the land. One in the morning, while leading another, repeating the process with the last horse in the afternoon. The circumstances weren’t ideal, and not what Katie and I had originally planned, as by now we should have been in the position to hire stable hands to tend the horses, giving us the time to work on all the other improvements for the property.
This reality, a stark reminder of everything I’d lost, gave me the necessary kick up the ass I needed to not allow my wayward thoughts of the two men asleep in the cabin to push me off track.
The sudden disappearance of the dogs from the stable and a small happy whine let me know I had company. Sure enough, I heard a couple of footsteps and then Leo appeared in the barn. He seemed only half awake and had a slight crease down his cheek from where he’d been laying on the pillow.
“Morning,” he greeted sleepily, his voice deep and gravelly.
“Morning,” I replied. “What are you doing up so early?”
He’d dressed in a pair of well-worn yellow work boots and faded jeans, soft from longtime wear. The light denim hugged his strong legs, highlighting firm, muscular thighs. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his fully fastened red jacket and he wore a cream woolen hat pulled down low on his head, covering his ears to keep out the cold. He didn’t look out of place here, which both surprised and intrigued me.
“I heard the dogs on the hardwood as you were leaving,” he said, “and if I’m here for a few days, I at least want to help out and be useful.”
On the surface his request sounded easy enough, but the be useful he tagged on at the end made me think it went a lot deeper. The stubborn and independent part of me should send him packing. The urge to tell him I didn’t need his help, didn’t need anyone’s help surged through me, and I was about to say so, when I caught the expression on his face. Hopeful and nervous, he refused to look me directly in the eye, as if he expected me to do exactly what I’d been thinking. But some emotion also lurked there, telling me he needed this, needed to be viewed as someone useful, worthy even, and his request would take a stronger man than I to deny when, to be honest, I needed every bit of help I could get.
“Sure. Grab a shovel.” His answering smile informed me I’d made the right choice. “Let me move the horses to the corral, and we can get to work.”
“I can help with the horses too. My mother’s family has a ranch in Texas. I used to ride and help out with the horses every summer as a kid.”
That was a surprise. I’d had him pegged as a city boy, the same as Gabe. Him having stepped foot on a ranch meant we had an affinity, a connection, however small.
“When was the last time you visited?”
“Not since college,” he answered softly, leaving a lot unsaid.
“I’m sure you miss it.”
He stiffened slightly and focused his gaze past my shoulder. “It was a long time ago.”
I got the message loud and clear not to press him any further so gestured over my shoulder with my thumb instead. “Okay, let’s get started, shall we?”
We worked in companionable silence, opening the stalls and leading the horses out of the stables. Once they were safely in the corral, we set to work, each taking a stall, and for the next hour or so we lost ourselves in the mundane. He was good. I’ll give him that. Efficient, too, and we managed to complete the work in far less time than I generally took on my own. Having him work so closely beside me made me uncomfortable to begin with, like an enemy stepping into my territory. But I had offered, needing to cheer him up and couldn’t deny how much he’d helped.
“I forgot how damn hard cleaning out the stalls was,” Leo moaned. He glanced down at the horse manure all over his boots, before scrunching up his face. “And how smelly and messy too.”
We both laughed, and despite last night when I kept telling myself to keep my distance from them both, Leo’s easygoing nature made it far too easy to forget my decision. Just when I thought I’d gotten myself under control, Gabe sauntered around the corner, making me laugh even more to see him dressed in his cashmere coat and designer suit, mud spattered on his knees and up his legs where I’d manhandled him out of the cabin yesterday.
His brows furrowed and his mouth tightened, eyes narrowing briefly at the two of us. I squinted at him as I’m positive a flash of hurt flickered across his face. I blinked a couple of times wanting to make sure, but his reaction had already disappeared, replaced by a mask of neutrality I found odd. Gabe always wore a definite expression: anger, humor, arrogance, or total smugness, generally the most popular one. Now, though, his face remained blank and unreadable, which I found unnerving.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, his voice too bright as he tried not to betray his emotions.
“Me,” Leo jumped in, his overeagerness to take the blame, while endearing, also appeared slightly obvious. “I was helping Mitch with the horses. It’s been such a long time since I last cleaned a stall, I’d forgotten how much I’d stink—” He raised his left leg. “—or how much shit I’d get covered in.”
The answer soothed Gabe somewhat, and his beaming smile dazzled as bright as the sun. “Yeah, thought I smelled something when I walked in.” He moved in and sniffed the air in front of Leo. “Thought maybe it was your aftershave.”
Leo’s mouth dropped open, and he guffawed loudly.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Gabe continued, stopping abruptly, his cheeks turning pink when he realized how his question might sound.
Leo’s grin turned evil. “I decided after the stresses of yesterday, you needed your beauty sleep.”
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?”
“Darn right,” he replied.
I reluctantly enjoyed their interplay, and shockingly, even though I was determined to keep an emotional distance, I still wanted to be a part of the lightheartedness happening between them. After so much time alone, I assumed I’d lost the ability to mix with people, to interact on a fundamentally human level. I’d accepted the loss as one of those things, and part of the sacrifice I had to make to do what I needed here. I realized now how much I’d missed being sociable and wondered, going forward, if there was a way to have both.
“Hey,” Leo’s hand on my arm made me jump.
I looked down where it rested, logging his pale and blue-tinged skin. His hands must have been freezing, as only now did I register he wasn’t wearing any gloves. He’d had his hands in his pockets when I’d first seen him this morning, and now I figured out why. Immediately, I took mine off and handed them over.
“Put these on and warm up your hands. You’ll get frostbite, otherwise.”
Leo took them from me. “Thank you,” he replied, genuinely pleased, and slipped them on. His fingers curled in the wool-lined interior at the same time a possessive streak rocked my core, knowing they were my gloves he wore, the heat from my hands warming his own.
Absurd. Absolutely absurd.
“Hey,” Gabe moaned. “What about me? I’m fucking freezing too.”
I chuckled as I gave him a brief once-over. “You’re not exactly kitted out for manual labor. Come on, I’ll see what I’ve got in the closet. Don’t want your posh suit and expensive shoes getting covered in horse poop, now do we?” I walked out of the stables toward the house.
“Smart-ass,” he mumbled, but followed obediently behind me. Both him and Leo.
Rummaging through the clothes in my bedroom closet, I found a plain white tee and a plaid shirt for him. Was there any other type? I added a thick, navy, cable-knit sweater, a pair of dark-blue jeans, a belt, and some of my old work boots. I threw in a couple of pairs of thick socks, too, as looking between us, I noted my feet were a size or two bigger than his.
Turns out, I was bigger all over than him.
“You coming out of there anytime soon?” Leo called through the closed door of my bedroom where Gabe had gone to change.
He grumbled an unintelligible response and cursed. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” A moment later he yanked open the door, and an affronted-looking Gabe stepped into the room. “I look fucking ridiculous. Totally fucking ridiculous.”
The tails of the shirt hung halfway down his thighs, as did the thick cable knit sweater they were poking out from beneath. He’d also had to roll the sleeves up quite a few times to see and use his hands, while the jeans were so baggy they made him look like a nineties skater boy.
We stood there, silent, for a few seconds, trying to contain our mirth. When I heard Leo’s stifled giggle and watched the irritated scowl spread across Gabe’s face, I released my own laughter with a loud snort, letting it out until tears ran down my face and my stomach hurt.
“Yeah, yeah,” Gabe griped, but he had a smile on his lips too. “Eat it up, assholes. You’re both so going to pay for this. Ya hear me?”
We laughed even more until Gabe finally gave up and joined in. “I feel like a small boy wearing his dad’s clothes.” He shook his head. “Ridiculous,” he said again as he held out his arms and twirled around on the spot.
“Aw, I think you look adorable,” Leo added sweetly.
“Yeah, adorable,” I deadpanned.
“Jackasses. The both of you.”
I shook my head and, leaving them to their entertainment, walked into the kitchen to make a start on breakfast. It had been so long since I’d had any type of fun, I needed a moment to get used to the uplifting feeling again.
I stumbled on one of the dogs’ discarded chews and bumped into the shelf beside me, knocking over the picture frame perched there. Any remaining humor died in an instant as I recognized the image. Reverently I picked up the photograph and stared at the scene. Me and Katie down by the lake. Me standing behind her, head on her shoulder as she took a selfie.
The memory, so vivid in my mind, instantly filled my vision. A couple of months after we’d gotten married, the weather had been hot and sunny; the soft breeze had a slight cool edge, just enough to stifle the heat. Katie had planned our day to perfection. We’d gotten up early, done our chores so we had the afternoon free to take a picnic and walk through the forest and down to the lake. We’d eaten the food she’d packed, drank more than a few glasses of wine, and enjoyed each other’s company as we’d talked about the future. When the sun had gotten too hot, we’d removed our clothes and skinny-dipped in the lake, letting the water cool our overheated skin.
Katie had taken the picture as we’d emerged from the lake, and our smiling expressions revealed everything. Our hopes and dreams, the joy of being outside on the land, and the deep love we shared, all staring right back at me from the photograph. How could I be laughing and joking with Leo and Gabe, with Katie no longer around? I shouldn’t be. It was wrong and made me ashamed to think I’d briefly forgotten about her. Allowed them to fill a space solely reserved for the wife I’d lost. For the life I’d lost. Us. Me and her.
“You okay in here? Still trying to block out the image of Gabe as a boy?” Leo’s light and friendly tone grated along my exposed nerves, and when he laid his hand on my shoulder, his touch seared through to my skin, eating into my flesh. Yanking out of his grip, I made a U-turn into the living area and remembered exactly why they were both here in the first place: Gabe trying to take our dream away, and Leo supposedly there to help me ensure he didn’t, but who didn’t know my own brother had sold me out. Well, I didn’t need him, didn’t need either of them.
“Go to hell,” I growled at him, making him recoil like I’d punched him in the face.
“Mitch?” The uncertainty in his voice only made me angrier.
Dropping the photograph on the sideboard, I glared at him, teeth gritted. “I said. Go. To. Hell.” I needed out. Now. Grabbing my jacket, I fled outside, not bothering to bring the dogs with me. Space, I needed space, unable to think straight if they were both near, crowding me, confusing me.